• Member Since 1st Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen June 26th

Guiding Breeze


E

(Note the everyone rating)

Firsts. There are lots of them in every pony's life. Doing something for the first time can be very unnerving. Scootaloo is about to her another one of those first times, one that she is ready for.

She thinks.

Written as part of a one hour challenge.
BurnoutBronyhas done a FanFic Reading on YouTube Link

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 54 )

OMG! This is so sweet its almost unbearable. In a good way.

...........short..........ambiguos.........feels bringer..........
Good Work. With Capitals. With capital.,:fluttershysad::pinkiesad2:

Manes #3 · Nov 8th, 2013 · · ·

the feels!:raritydespair:

DIAMOND TIARA'S PARTY NOT SILVER SPOON!!!!:flutterrage:

Ohh the feels! The feels! It made me smile despite the occasion.

3460646 3460654 3460748 3460628 - Glad you enjoyed it

3460820 Thanks for the spot :facehoof:, changed that one!

Wow thats just cute

JT
JT #10 · Nov 8th, 2013 · · ·

At first I thought this was going to be dirty....


But I like this better.

So many feels...

Pretty good if a little over done in terms of concept. (Scootaloo is an orphan and Rainbow Dash adopts her). Only actual nitpick is you using "person" and not "pony". :facehoof:

3461570 right? I was just like ":twilightoops: Scoots aren't you a little young for this? Oh....nevermind....she still :scootangel: a little angel" lol

So adding this to my faves! SO CUTE:pinkiehappy:

Decently crafted XD Thought was going to be an innuendo and stuff... but then SoL... so i was all :rainbowderp:, then :rainbowhuh:, then :twilightsmile:. It wasn't super fluffy as I thought.. It's good, that's about it xD

So incredibly sick of orphan-Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash adoption stories.

3463075
Says the idiot who writes nothing but low-brow toilet humor stories. You're a joke.

Great story, MLPAllGrownUp!

3463232 Oh wow, look! It's a perfect example of Idiot Who Has No Idea What He's Talking About! Observe as he displays Irrational Butthurt on behalf of a story that isn't even his!

You can't see it, so I'll let you in on a secret: I'm rolling my eyes at you and your stupidity.

Children, behave, or I'll send pinkamena diane pie after you :pinkiecrazy:
3463241 - Whilst you might not like the fanon, it probably is the majority view at the moment, even more so since Sleepless in Ponyville.
3463232 - Thanks for enjoying the story, and sticking up for it, but theres no need to go insulting people. I haven't read any of his stories (yet) but each to their own. And lets face it, my most popular stories aren't exactly classy :pinkiegasp:

3462839 - Doh, but I orginally wrote this as human and changed for the site. Thought I had caught every pony/person and name change! :facehoof:

3462938 3462903 3461570 Ah, the old bait and switch :raritywink:

3462928 3461086 3461183 Glad you enjoyed it :twilightsmile:

I adore the fake out.

Heh. Love these sweet little one-shots. Nothing to complain about here.

I hardly ever look at the front page anymore, which means I'm probably missing other tales like this one. Welp, into the favourites list it goes. :heart:

The concept is extremely overdone, but hell, I liked it. Decently enough written, if missing a bits of punctuation here and there.

3463232 >ad hominem
wow

D'AAAWWWWWWWWWW :pinkiehappy:

MLPAIIGrownUp used Clopfic Fakeout! It's super effective! :rainbowlaugh:

Now this is just a theory, but I do believe good sir that you are English correct? There is super strong evidence to support this hypothesis, like the use of the word 'mum' and 'mum'.
Loved the story. Write on :)

USA! USA!

3466668 Thanks for liking the story. I am indeed English and use English rather that "American" stuff you've come up with. Ever heard of the letter "u"? :raritywink:
3466417>>3465707>>3464152 Yeah, fakeout is super effective, if a little overused. But if it works...:scootangel:

3464914 3466298 Glad you enjoyed the story

Here lies a fan of cuteness...broken and dead from overloaded feels...

ATTENTION.

yay.

THAT IS ALL

I'm going to settle this right now, and any future haters:

ALMOST ALL CONCEPTS THAT PEOPLE ENJOY ARE OVERDONE. GET USED TO IT, 'OVERDONE' IS NO LONGER CRITERIA FOR SHAVING OFF POINTS.

Very simple, very logical. Once someone does something, they're "original", then other people see the idea that worked and want to try their hand at it... now they're "wearing the concept out". More people see the success of the idea, and so on and so on. The idea does not become bland, only the execution. It's never cause to blast a story, only that you yourself are too inundated - which is no one's fault but your own.

HA- Clop fake!

Boy that was fun.

Here- have a mustache
:moustache:

Honestly? I liked it. But, it could have been better. As in, I came for a comedy. Sorry.

"mum" huh? I take it you are from somewhere in Europe?

3476287 eeyep

3475410 3474700 3472713 3472607 glad you liked it, she's everyponys favourite pegasi filly afterall!

3474918 to be fair, its not marked as a comedy. I probably think this is just about as slice of life as you can get

3472768 well said. As long as you try to put something a little different in (as in not just plagiarise the whole thin) its a good thing. Afterall, pretty much half of the episodes have elements from other stories, very few things are truly original!

I think my biggest problem with this is that I found it through the Scootalove group, so that completely spoiled the ending. Oh well, I still enjoyed it :twilightsmile:

This story gets a +1 to d'awwww :heart:

*taps chest*
Weird, this thing was working a moment ago...

Read previous comments like: BRING IT ONN~

after reading: crying like a baby :fluttercry: you hit me right in the feels :heart:

That was too adorable for me to handle. I'll go punch a bear or grow a beard real quick to regain my manliness. :rainbowkiss:

Awwww man that was soooo cute

This should be rated teen. While it's technically an everyone story, it's obvious that it's trying to make people think of sex specifically to subvert their expectations. And that means that only people that know of sex (teens and older) would get the full effect of the story.

That's rather sweet, though I'm an absolute sucker for Scootalove in any form. I'm not keen on coloured text, but that was the only thing that bothered me at all while reading it. (My headcanon doesn't have a mother-daughter relationship here, but that's no reason for me to complain when someone else's does!) I especially smiled at Rainbow's teasing right near the end: really nicely in character for Dash!

Interesting point another commenter raised about the rating. Rating it E, and underlining that fact in the blurb, does take away some of the tension -- but I'm not sure what you could have done about that. After all, it's Scootaloo, so rating it anything else would have risked unintentionally scaring readers off.

4445834 Thanks, yeah thats the problem but I thought best not to rate something higher than it actually is and confuse everypony...espically given some of my other work :pinkiegasp:

At first I thought this was Scootaloo going to become a mother or have eww sex but the mum part surprised me. Good job.

5080297 Sorry i didn't see your comment for a while. The idea of writing something like this but about foalbirth would have been an equally unusual/cute story. Might have to try that ;)

Ya shouldn't name a story "Scootaloo's First Time" if it ain't about sex. I mean, you got the picture of her in the bed and everything.:unsuresweetie:

But, other than my criticisms that no one cares about..

OH MY GOD THIS STORY IS AWESOME:pinkiehappy::scootangel:

I ALLREADY knew it wasn't about sex because of the everyone rating, but I had no idea what was going to happen otherwise. Easily one of the most adorable things I've ever read, good job bro!

“Goodnight…mum”

What are you British?
But on the other hand, that is adorable!

6165765

What are you British?

Erm, yes :facehoof:

6167627 Oh. I didn't expect you to actually be British for whatever reason.

Login or register to comment