• Published 10th Nov 2013
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What You Don't Know - Flaming Pulsar



Human in Equestria lives through full canon length of time. This includes a number of interesting things happening and Discordyness.

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Chapter 7--Meeting Zecora and the Ticket

Author's Note:

Writing for Zecora is hard but with practice, I can manage. And yes, Síor is just now getting his clothes.

Hey look, an Author's Note that was already here!!

Google Docs:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1dTTEDM0nhoEw1DwCsQwIsPBHOVagZpH3YRpa4K_DZ9g/edit?usp=sharing

Chapter 7--Meeting Zecora and the Ticket

Twilight finally allowed me to leave town, if only to hunt in the Everfree Forest. The crossbow wasn’t made very well, it shot but not along the sights. I was adjusting the sights to line up with the actual shot when we--Qene and I--came upon an interesting looking hut inside a tree. I looked at Qene to get his unspoken opinion on the place. I’ve noticed that he seems to have some amount of sentience but he’s not able to communicate verbally with other sentient beings. He did, however, give me a gesture that basically said, “Why not?” We went over to the hut and I knocked on the door.

After a few seconds, a zebra answered it. “What is this, to my surprise? A manticore before my eyes,” she--as I assumed by the voice--said.

“And a human,” I said.

“I have studied creatures aplenty, but none quite as unusual as thee.”

“I’d imagine not. Humans have been considered extinct for billions of years. It was only by pure chance that I survived. Name’s Síor, by the way.”

“I am Zecora. Why do you stare with awe?”

“You keep rhyming, why is that?”

“The rhymes are a curse set upon me. I must travel far if I wish to be free. Further south than Mexicolt, if this curse I wish to molt.”

“Huh. Well, that’s unfortunate. I was wondering, do you have any zebra history books I can read?”

“The history of zebras is forbidden to know, not for the eyes of an average Joe. For what purpose do you seek? Tell me that and I may speak.”

“I’m trying to find information on Discord.”

“Of Discord I have heard. From whom about him were you referred?”

“Celestia wanted me to find out as much about him as possible because he’s supposed to come back in a year. All I know now is that he has a master plan supposedly to kill himself but neither I nor Celestia know any details.”

“I’m afraid I can help you no further. Any more information has long since been blurred.”

“Damn. Oh well. It was nice meeting you Zecora. If there’s anything I can help you with, just let me know.”

“Now that you mention it, there is something I need to get. An herb from Ponyville I do not own. But the ponies avoid me for reasons unknown.”

“So you’re looking to get accepted in town, huh?”

“If acceptance is what I need, your advice I will heed.”

“Well, you could go to town with me.”

“I assume that innuendo was not intentional. No matter, let us not stall.”

“That one was iffy.”

“The quality of the rhymes I do not control. That is chosen without my poll.”

“And that one didn’t make perfect sense. Whatever. Shall we go?”

“I sense that you came for another reason. What brought you here this season?”

“I actually came to hunt but I ran into your hut. I don’t suppose you know where I might find a good source of meat, do you?”

“If meat is what you desire, you’ll have to travel higher. Constantly hunted animals live in the hills, unless you wish for something with gills. Fish can be found in most waters, but beware of the sea serpent’s daughters.”

“Steven Magnet has daughters? How’d a gay guy like him manage that?”

“He is the son of the original snake. It is his sisters that will make you quake. They are far larger and not as nice. None have been known to come across them twice.”

“I assume that’s because they all die the first time.”
She nodded.

“Hey, that’s cheating.”

“Head shakes and nods require no rhyme. They are loopholes that save me time.”

“Eh, whatever. Let’s go.”

We went to AJ’s farm first since it was right by the forest and I knew I could find Twilight there as well. She was helping AJ with something and wouldn’t be done until about midday. I found them in what AJ and her family considered the east orchard. Personally, I couldn’t tell the difference between the orchards. It looked like one big orchard, but whatever.

“Hey, AJ, Twi,” I shouted when I got within earshot.

“Howdy Síor. What brings ya ‘round these parts?” AJ said.

“I was hunting in the Everfree when I came upon a small hut,” I answered.

“Somepony lives in the Everfree Forest?” Twilight asked in awe.

“I hope you ain’t talkin’ ‘bout Z-zecora,” AJ said.

“The same. You heard of her?” I asked.

“Who’s Zecora?” Twilight asked.

“She’s a pony that lives in the Everfree Forest. She comes out once a month and comes inta town. She lurks ‘round the shops an’ digs at the ground then she just leaves,” AJ said.

“Yeah, she comes into town to get an herb but all the ponies are always hiding. And she’s not a pony, she’s a zebra,” I explained.

“A zebra?” Twilight asked. “What’s a zebra doing in the Everfree Forest?”

“Zebras are a very widespread species,” I explained. “She probably came here years ago and found the Everfree to be more like her homeland. So, you think you could help her get accepted in town?”

“I suppose we could do something about that,” Twilight said.

“Awesome. Zecora, you can come out now.” She came out from behind the tree I told her to stay behind.

“Hello pony folk. I have acquired the assistance of this bloke,” Zecora said.

“Yep, I’m gonna help her make some friends in town,” I said.

“Well, that shouldn’t be too hard,” Twilight said. “We just need to explain who she is to everypony. I’m sure a town wide postal note will do the trick, we just need to tell the mayor and she can make it happen.”

We started walking back to town when we ran into Spike. “Twilight, you got a letter from the Princess,” he said.

Being a smartass and also for the sake of correctness, I said, “Which one?”

“Uh, Princess Celestia,” he said. He held up the note for Twilight. “It regards Síor, too.”

“Something regarding me, huh? That’s either really good or really bad,” I said.

Twilight read the letter. “Her Grand Royal Highness, Princess Celestia of Equestria, is pleased to announce The Grand Galloping Gala to be held in the magnificent capital city of Canterlot, on the 21st day of August. She cordially extends an invitation to Síor and Twilight Sparkle plus one guest.

“What’s the Grand Galloping Gala?” I asked.

“The Grand Galloping Gala is the most high-class party in all of Equestria,” Twilight answered.

“Ugh, do I have to go?” I asked.

“Of course! Anypony with an invitation is practically required to go to the Gala.”

“Fine, but only if I can bring Qene.”

“Why do you always have to bring him everywhere you go?”

“He gets lonely without me.” I hugged my big kitty and he rolled his eyes.

“Síor, manticores are solitary creatures, they usually don’t have company except to mate. If it really means that much to you, you can see if Fluttershy will watch him for you. Meanwhile, I need to think about who I want to bring to the Gala with me.”

“Hey, Twilight. I’d like ta go to th Gala if ya don’t mind,” Applejack said. “I could set up an apple stand and raise some money for the farm.”

“Alright, Applejack. Would you--”

“Hold on a minute!” Rainbow Dash yelled from above.

“Rainbow Dash! You said you were too busy ta help me harvest apples. What were you busy doin’, spyin’?”

“No. I was busy napping.” She turned to Twilight and continued. “And I just happened to overhear you saying you had an extra ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala.”

“Um, yes but--”

“The Wonderbolts perform at the Gala every year. If I had a chance to go, I could finally show them my stuff.”

“Sorry ta say this Rainbow, but Twilight here was already gonna take me,” AJ said.

“Well, if you both want to go, one of you could have my ticket,” I said.

“No, Síor. You’re going. I’ll have to decide who to give the ticket to but first, I need to take Síor to Fluttershy’s cottage.”

“Twilight, I can get there myself.”

“Well I’m coming with you anyways.”

“Whatever.”

When we got to the cottage, I knocked on Fluttershy’s door. After she didn’t answer for a few minutes, we assumed she was out with her critters. We found her in the back having a picnic. “Hey, Fluttershy,” I called.

“Oh, hello Síor, Qene, Twilight, and Zecora. Zecora!!” She hid behind a bear.

“Flutters, Zecora isn’t going to hurt you. I came to ask a favor. I was wondering if you would watch over Qene while Twilight and whoever she decides to bring drag me to the Grand Galloping Gala.”

She came out from behind the bear when I mentioned the Gala. “Twilight has an extra ticket to the Gala?”

“Don’t tell me you want to go, too,” Twilight said.

“It’s not so much the Gala as it is the world famous garden that surrounds the Gala. That night and that night alone will everything be in bloom and not to mention all the rare animals that live there, too.”

“Well, Twi, it looks like you got another one to add to your list of possible invitees.” She groaned. “So, if you don’t get to go, would you mind watching Qene for me?”

“I wouldn’t mind at all. Qene really is a gentle creature once you get past the ferociousness of him being a manticore.”

“True enough. Well, Twilight, where to next?”

“Why don’t we go to Sugarcube Corner, I’m rather hungry.”

Sugarcube Corner, for those who don’t know, is where Pinkie works and lives with the owners Mr. and Mrs. Cake. They mainly serve desserts but they have real food, too. And so we went to see Pinkie at Sugarcube Corner.

“Hey Sísí,” Pinkie said when we got to Sugarcube Corner.

“I thought I told you not to call me that,” I said.

“Aw, but it’s such a cute nickname.”

“Be that as it may, I don’t like it.”

“All the more reason to call you that, Sísí,” Twilight chimed in.

“Not you, too,” I complained.

“So, what brings you all here today?” Pinkie asked in her not-so-serious tone.

“Twilight’s hungry. And I’d like you to meet a new friend of mine. This is Zecora.”

“It’s the evil enchantress!!!” Pinkie screamed before running into the kitchen.

“I’ll go get her,” I said. I went into the kitchen and found her hiding behind a cake that she had been eating. “Pinkie, Zecora’s not evil and she’s not an enchantress, she’s an herbalist. And she’s my friend so I would appreciate you being nice to her.” She nodded and we went back out to the dining room.

“So, Twilight what can I get you?” Pinkie asked.

“Can I get a salad please?”

“Sure thing. Would you like something Zecora?”

“Some hay fries would do me nice and perhaps some tea with ice,” the zebra responded.

“Coming right up.” She went back to the kitchen.

I followed her because I wanted to see how the hay fries were made. As it turns out, they're basically just like french fries but made from hay instead. “Hey Pinkie.”

“What’s up Sísí?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to learn some new recipes. I still remember a few vegetarian recipes from my short time working in the food industry.”

“Sure thing, but why did you wait until now to ask me?”

“Because I just thought about it now.”

“Hey, since we’re talking of thing we just thought of now, how’d you like to try some of my special cupcakes?”

“What’s so special about them?”

“It’s a surprise, silly!”

“Eh, why not?”

“Yay!”

I went back to the dining room and she followed a few minutes after with a salad, some hay fries, a glass of ice tea and about fifty cupcakes. “There is no way I’m eating all those,” I said. “That much sugar would give me diabetes.” Is diabetes even a thing in Equestria?

“Aw, come on.”

“I will have at most ten.”

“Fine.” She quickly picked ten cupcakes for me to try and set them on a platter in front of me.

I grabbed the first one and tasted it. It tasted like a combination of strawberry and apple but there was something else I couldn’t quite place. “Not bad,” I said. “A little more sugar than I’m used to. I think I’ll take the other forty-nine to go. What’s the secret ingredient though?”

“If I told you, it wouldn’t be a secret, silly!”

“Fair enough. But if I find out that it’s something I wouldn’t willingly eat if I knew, then you’re gonna get a shitload of hurt. You done yet, Twi?”

“All finished. Thanks Pinkie.”

“No problemo.”

“Hey Pinkie, do you know who Twilight should give her extra ticket to the Gala to?” I asked.

“Twilight has an extra ticket to the Gala? Well, she should take me of course!”

“Not helpful, Síor,” Twilight said.

“Sorry. Hey, Pinkie, she’ll think about it. Bye for now.”

“Bye-bye Sísí.”

Our next stop was Rarity’s boutique. Twilight needed to see if she was willing to make a dress for her and I needed to see if she was done with my clothes that she said she would have ready about a week ago.

We went in and the door rang. “Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where every garment is chic unique and magnifique!” Rarity said when we walked in.

“Hey Rarity,” I said.

“Oh, Síor and Twilight. What brings you here today?”

“Well, Twilight wants to know if you could make her a dress for the Grand Galloping Gala and I was wondering if you were done with my clothes yet. You said you’d have at least one outfit done about a week ago.”

“Ah yes, your clothing is done. I just finished it earlier today. I would have had it done sooner but I’ve been swamped with orders for the Gala. It’s all in the back if you wish to try it on. As for you, Twilight, I would be honored to make a dress for one of my greatest friends for the Gala. I design ensembles for the Gala every year but I never get the chance to go. So I’ll make an extra special ensemble for you in my place.”

That’s all I heard before the door to the dressing room cut them off. I found five shirts, five pairs of pants, five pairs of underwear, five pairs of socks and three jackets. I also saw what looked like a suit that I knew was meant for me because it clearly wouldn’t fit a pony. I tried on a pair of pants--after making sure the underwear worked-- and a shirt. The shirt was clearly cotton, it was a plain black t-shirt with the breast pocket as requested. The pants weren’t denim but they were a close replacement material. I grabbed a pair of socks and put them on as well. Next, I put on a jacket. It wasn’t a wonderful leather jacket that I would have loved but when the main populace of the world is vegetarian, one should not ask for leather.I grabbed the rest and stuffed them in the magic bag that Twilight gave me. I say magic because it was able to hold much more than the outer dimensions showed. Bigger on the inside, if you will. Currently in it was all the cupcakes from earlier, all my stuff from home, and now all my clothes. I couldn’t find any shoes so I went out to ask Rarity where they were.

“Please Twilight?”

“I don’t know Rarity. I don’t think I’m ready yet.”

“Oh, come now, it’s not that hard.”

“For you, maybe. I’ve never had to do this before.”

“It’s easy, just put your hoof there and just ease it along.”

“Like this?”

“Yes, that’s wonderful. Try going a little faster.”

“How’s that?”

“You don’t want to go too fast now, you might hurt it.”

I walked in with a huge grin on my face. “Hey ladies, whatcha doin’?”

“I’m just teaching Twilight how to use a sewing machine,” Rarity answered.

That killed the mood. “Oh, ok. So, Rarity, where’s the shoes?”

“Ah yes. They were a little more difficult but I think they’ll do.” She pulled out a pair of shoes from a box and gave them to me. “Go ahead, try them on.” I did so and they fit perfectly. “Oh how wonderful. I assume you got my surprise as well?”

“If you mean the suit then yes. And just in time for the Gala that I’m being forced to go to.”

“You got a ticket, too? Now I really wish I could go.”

“Twilight has an extra ticket that she hasn’t given away yet.”

“Nor have I decided who to give it to and Síor constantly telling everypony about it isn’t helping,” Twilight said.

“Hey, if all your friends want to go, why don’t you just ask Celestia for more tickets?” I asked her.

“One does not simply ask for more tickets to the Gala.”

“Fine, if you won’t ask her, I’ll ask for you. Spike, take a letter. Dear Sunbutt, Twilight’s being stupid again and won’t suck it up and ask you for some more tickets to the Gala so all her friends can go so I’m asking for her. Also, if you’re gonna make me go, can I bring Qene? Love, Síor.

“It’s sent,” Spike said.

“Good. Now we just need to wait for a response.” Just when I said that, Spike belched a scroll and read it.

Dear Síor, I absolutely despise nicknames, especially those that are meant to be demeaning. I will grant Twilight four more tickets and another one for Spike as well. I suppose you can bring Qene but he must be kept in the garden with the other animals. --Celestia. Five more tickets to the Gala.”

“See? Problem solved,” I said.

“Thanks, Síor,” Twilight said.

“Hey, someone’s gotta be around to keep you from being stupid.” She glared at me. “We should probably head home now, it’s getting late.”

“Yes. Good-bye Rarity.”

“Arrivederci.” Since when did Rarity speak Italian?

We went home and I proceeded to carry out my usual nightly ritual of doing fuck all until I fell asleep. Insomnia is very boring without technology to entertain me.

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