• Member Since 12th Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

TheGentlemanCreeper


E

(2nd Person Story starring Child-You and the Cutie Mark Crusaders)

You can't help but feel a little sad after your mother told you that you and her were moving to Ponyville; you were leaving all of your friends and family behind. But you didn't have a choice in the matter; you were along for the ride, for better or worse. You try to take solace in your mother's words:

"I'm sure you'll make all sorts of new friends."

You had no idea those new friends would get you in all sorts of trouble.

Author's Note: This was my first fic I did for the SFG when I joined and it sort of shows. It's been edited and fixed, but my style has definitely changed since then. Anyways, enjoy.

Chapters (10)
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Comments ( 204 )

Excellent story. Heart warming and all that. My only question is, will you be making an epilogue, or a continuation of this? It would be interesting to see where this is going, especially if you go with a "Later on in life" aspect of it.Now however, comes the part that I give actual review. For one, I was a bit upset that the introductory part of the story was so limited, I understand you were going for a "This is you" story, but I at first had problems getting attached to the characters mindset. A bit more exposition would have been nice, I always enjoy a robust character development, unlike most folk. Otherwise, bravo, bravissimo indeed, I would definitely continue to read your works, if all of them maintained this quality.

12212

Yes, there is a continuation of this in the works. You'll actually get an idea when I get Swing posted. And yes, as said, my style has changed so much since Love Triangles and Other Funny Shapes. I've thought about re-doing it and really fleshing it out more, but I'd like to keep it as it is. Something to remind me of how far I've come. I'm sure you'll see the difference once I post Healing Dash, which will be up tonight, hopefully. Otherwise, thank you for enjoying the story. I'm sure if you'll love the next ones.

This has to be one of the best if not the best CMC Ship Fics I have read.

12261
Heh, thanks. It's always nice to hear stuff like that. ^.^

This is awesome. Your awsome. I have work todo now but later I want you to write another large story mmk?

12417
Three steps ahead of you. I've got four other stories I'm going to submit. Each one is pretty long, consisting of five parts, not counting prologues or epilogues.I /should/ have Healing Dash up tonight, but I'm also working on Purple Haze. I definitely need to get the next chapter for that up soon. I have a list of the stories on my blog that I'm going to post. Look for them pretty soon. ^.^

Fin

What a good story.
I enjoyed it.

I don't really read first-pony perspective story's, but this one seemed fun so I said "what the hay." and gave it a shot.
I got to say kid romance is very funny entertaining romance.

-Fin

you. cmc. romance. how? amazing. *is stunned* i guess i can only use the words of fluttershy :yay: ~YOU ROCK, WOHOO~

This is like a non-erotic version of one of my favourite dreams!

....bob....that's creepy.....

Comment posted by Lord Arcturus deleted Nov 5th, 2017

I love all of your work, even tho its your first this is good , its just so cute and well fuzzy heh

so far Freudian Slip is my favorite, love the merge with Coffebeans story there,makes it more interesting (good thing i read that one or i would have pulled a derpy trying to understand it )

Where's the 4-way! I demand a 4-way!

Lol, my sick mind.

13212
I have a sequel planned, but it's going to come much later. I have a novel I want to write and eventually publish (Non-pony related), but I have too much sunk into the SFG and I can't just abandon them and the stories in my head with sharing with them. So I'm pretty much going to write all the stories I have planned, write the sequel to Love Triangles and Other Funny Shapes, then go on a hiatus to work on my novel.

13248
I'm sure you'll like what I have ready to post next and what comes after that. :3

13991
It did have some pretty scary/sad parts. I know I made /someone/ tear up when they read it.

14088
:trixieshiftleft:
No.

I smell HI-JINKS!

Dude wtf? This is by far the most kickass CMC story I have ever read.
You nailed all the crusader's personalites on the dot you must continue your works
and if you need a proofreader im you guy

An amazing heartwarming story to say the least. Romance but not the rarity backroom kind. The kind that gives you a smile. Not only that but it's also a great story about friendship and adventure. Keep up the good work!

'There swings are sluggish and...' Should be Their, no There.
Later, when he/we curse 'oh stallion', ... Oh, sorry, that's where Trevor's Ponify came into play... ^^; Still, with no humans, that isn't an applicable term. It should be 'Oh Colt', or 'Oh Hay', though that's just one's opinion
‘Always keep a piece of your father close to your heart, as she put it.' ... You forgot the second ' at the end of the mother's quote. You need to add an apostrophe after the '...heart' ' part.
Overall though, not too bad! Liked the visual of the 'butterfly colony' in his stomach! XD

TBH, Trevor isn't a fan of stories in the second pony, but Trevor is giving this a shot due to a friend's request. Don't disappoint one!

~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria

A... A FOURTH one?! Celes help us all...

*Sighs* And thus does Calamity ensue... Onward! To Glorious Battle!

18306
Danke for the edits. I always miss little things like that. >.>

... Whut? Right off the bat, Trevor feels like there's something that didn't copy/paste or something, because the start of the chapter, 'was a perfect score.' Makes no sense on its own, not to mention it's a fragment. So... Trevor is just going to pretend that something is supposed to be before there, and there were just technical difficolties. *After end of chapter* Other than that, it's pretty good! *Keeps reading*

~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria

18402
Really sorry about that.

*Sigh* And guess what? LITERALLY ONE WORD. I hate copy-paste errors.

I need /some/ sleep for tomorrow, so I'm going to take a nap. Be back in a bit and glad you're enjoying the story. And I promise, there's hardly any errors in the fics after this one. I hope. ^.^;

'You were actually impressed by' ... it. You forgot the it. XD

... And only NOW does Trevor understand the title... This should be interesting to see who 'I' supposedly chose... XD (Unless it's open-ended, in which case that's AWESOME!)

~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria

p.s. as answer to one of your posts, no problem! Trevor's a pre-reader, so it's just habit, you know? Thanks for not taking any offense at one's pointing them out! (It's always so horrible when the author snaps at you for trying to help, you know? It's not like you're trying to insult or degrade them. So yeah! Thanks for not taking it the wrong way!)

The S of Scootaloo at the beginning was/is cut off for some reason, just so you know.
'...the barrage of kicks to you back all through class,...' you should be your.
... And now I'm in trouble... Kissing two different fillies within... What, three, four days?! I thought I was a batter gentlecolt than that, messing around with their hearts! Just how heartless am I?! I had better snap out of it soon, or else! Oh no, it gets even worse... I'M TALKING IN FIRST PONY! AAAAUUUUUGGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! *Runs around in circles, panicking away*

~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria

What does “Don’t be! That was a really scary story!” freaked out as well. mean? Is ther supposed to be an 'I' in front of the freaked, and the quotation moved from after story to well? (Meaning, is it supposed to be “Don’t be! That was a really scary story! I freaked out as well."

... PLEASE don't tell Trevor that now Sweetie Belle likes one now as well, because then it's MORE than just a triangle! It's a polygon of some type! Anyhoof... Gotta keep reading!

~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria

... Trevor's only complaint is that it is now a Love Polygon, not a triangle. Other than that... *Keeps reading*

~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria

Okie Doki Loki... Now that the story is over, here are Trevor's thoughts...

Pretty good, surprisingly. Trevor doesn't care for second-pony fics, but this wasn't TOO bad. The mane problem: having too emotional of a background story for him. You would have been better off, in Trevor's opinion, sticking with a third-pony narritive, but to each his own. Still, one has read that there is a sequel either already made/in the works, or will be soon? Anyhoof, time to go looking through your gallery, now that one has finished the fic recommended to one! XD

~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria.

18421
That would be the tetrahedron, Trevor.

Alright, that was perfect child logic right there.
"He makes me feel funny. Maybe if I hit him, it'll stop."
I commend you, good sir.

I'm viewer number 666! LOL!!:scootangel:

I was viewer number 666 on last one but 678 on this one... well once is good enough i guess.....:scootangel:

"You were actually impressed by it." Isn't that MY choice?:rainbowhuh:

That was a great story and I'm sad that I'm done reading it because I just want to read more of this story and see how it all works out. I have to say TheGentlemanCreeper you did a very, VERY good job with this story.

ha this will be one interesting story

remember the fourth one is sopposed to be you as a young filly or colt
18309

:rainbowlaugh: he got stuck on the celling

wow this kid get's lucky(in a relastion ship way) with 2 fillyies

yup this kid get kucky in 2 relationships

13991 I agree the scary story was creepy and scary

that reminds me when i was a kid i was scard of the MCdonald's clown

know i'm not

wow :pinkiegasp: this kid got lucky with 3 fillies now

when i mean lucky i mean he is in 3 relationships

I DEMAND A EPILOGE OR A NEW CHAPTER if it ok with you

LOL!!! OK I had my doubts on this story, but from what I have read you have got the CMC as they were ment to be! good work!

“Well duh!” Applebloom says, helping you up. “You were running.” Applebloom need to spend less time around Pinkie

:twilightblush::rainbowkiss:

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am loving this thing!!!! I only wish the chapter were longer



:twilightblush::rainbowkiss:

again LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!

and Little pony me is a player!:scootangel::scootangel:


:twilightblush::rainbowkiss:

this is soo sweet!!! I am soo glad I found this!!


:twilightblush::rainbowkiss:

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