• Published 13th Oct 2011
  • 12,236 Views, 213 Comments

Love Triangles and Other Funny Shapes - TheGentlemanCreeper



As the new kid in school, you find yourself overwhelmed with more than just schoolwork...

  • ...
8
 213
 12,236

Chapter 4

“What if we froze it?” Sweetie Belle asks “Rarity got gum on her coat once and froze it. It just broke off.”

Apple Bloom raises an eyebrow. “I didn’t know Rarity chewed gum.”

“She doesn’t. That’s why she freaked out and screamed for ten minutes first.” Sweetie Belle says, sounding almost a little ashamed. Sighing, you tried to calm yourself down.

Don’t get mad… Don’t get mad… Wait, then get even. You think as you feel your anger starting to grow.

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom debate whether to cover you in ice or smear apple butter on you while Scootaloo happily chewed away at the gum. Before the debate could turn into an argument, the sound of the front door closing makes all of you stop dead.

“Quick! Get me down!” you hiss as you flail your hooves around.

“There’s no time!” Apple Bloom says as she throws the sticky pot into a nearby cupboard.
Sweetie Belle starts putting away the ingredients you used and looks up at you. “Just hang in there!” You stop flailing around and stare daggers at her.

“Oh right,” she says with a nervous chuckle “sorry, wrong choice of words.”

“We have a plan!” Apple Bloom says, trying to dispose of the last of the evidence. Scootaloo had ripped the gum off of the walls and had stuffed it into her maw, which now looked like it held a piece of gum the size of your head. She simply nodded quickly and helped the others clean up quickly before leaving out the back door. Before you could call out to them, a pink earth pony with a mane that looked like cotton candy had entered the kitchen. You immediately froze, hoping that Pinkie Pie didn’t notice you. She looked around the kitchen, her eyes darting back and forth. Her face bore an almost predatory look, as if hunting for something.

“I know you’re here.” She finally says. You fee; the breath catch in your throat and wait for her to look up and turn you over to the Ponyville Police for breaking and entering. Instead, she opens the fridge and pulls out a plate of cupcakes and grins from ear to ear.

“There you are!” she yells happily. You don’t know how, but she manages to shove the whole cupcake into her mouth and swallow it whole. She eats two more cupcakes like this before she stops and sniffs the air.

“Why do I smell gum?” she asks aloud. Getting up, she begins sniffing the kitchen all over, without looking up, thankfully. She finally stops and begins rubbing her nose furiously. “Oh, don’t tell me I got gum stuck in my nose again!” She says, obviously annoyed at the idea. You watch as she leaves the kitchen and hear her thunder up the stairs, saying something about needing a crowbar. Sighing, you wonder how you’re going to get yourself out of this sticky situation. Playing back what you just thought, you actually want to punch yourself for such a horrible pun.

“Hey!” Whipping your head around, you see Apple Bloom standing in the door way with some rope in her mouth. “Catch!” She yells quietly.

The rope hits you in the face, but you manage to grab a hold of it with your teeth. “Now don’t let go!” Giving a nod, you begin to feel yourself being pulled from the gum, slowly but surely. With a final yank, you fly out the back door of Sugar Cube Corner and land in a bush.

“See, I told ya we had a plan!” Apple Bloom says with confidence over you. You flail around and get yourself to your hooves. You’re mad. No, you’re beyond mad. Your father had a word for this feeling. A word your mom didn’t like you to use.

The three fillies stare at you, all of them waiting for you to say something, but you don’t. The only thing in your ears is Scootaloo smacking her gum.

You try to find the right words. Well, you had a few choice words you wanted to use, but the last time you used those words, your mom had tanned your hide raw.

“That was just crazy!” you finally say “I mean, I was just hanging from the ceiling by a wad of gum!”

Apple Bloom giggles. “Ya, that was pretty funny.”

You start to toss around the idea about running away right now and never looking back when something behind Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle gets your attention: Scootaloo and her giant bubble. She apparently worked the gum enough to get a bubble going and blew it so large, it was almost as big as she was.

“Uhh...” is all you can say before the bubble pops with a loud explosion, showering Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo with ABC gum. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle glared at Scootaloo as they try to scrape the gum off. She gives the two a gummy grin. “Sorry.”

“Heh…” The three fillies look at you. It starts as a chuckle but quickly turns into a full on roar of laughter. It becomes contagious as the three fillies look at each other and join in. You and your friends laugh for what feels like ages. When you finally calm down, your sides hurt and your eyes are moist. Using a gummy hoof, you wipe away the tears and breath a side of relief.

“Okay. THAT was funny.” you finally say “Come on. Let’s find a way to get this gum off.”

Sweetie Belle frowns. “We can’t ask my sister. She’s spent the day locked up in her shop, trying to fill this huge order that came in from out of town.”

“Well what do we do now?” You ask.

“Oh! Oh! We could-“ You cut Apple Bloom off, knowing what she was going to suggest.

“And don’t say apple butter!”

She seems disappointed. What was with her and apple butter? Her eyes widen and she smiles.

“What about Twilight? She’s really good with magic!” Apple Bloom suggests.

Scootaloo nods her head quickly. “Ya! It’ll come off easy with a little magic!” She says in between chews.

You shrug. “Why not? Lead on.”

You follow the three fillies to the Ponyville library. You remember seeing it on the way into Ponyville when you first arrived and had made a mental note to check it out as soon as you could. But with everything going on, from the introduction fiasco to the Cutie Mark Crusaders, you had completely forgotten. Reaching out with the only hoof that doesn’t have gum on it, you knock on the door.

“Hold on! Hold on! I’m coming! Keep your saddles on!” You hear a young voice from inside call out. When the door opens, you have to do a double take. Standing before you was a purple and green dragon, just a bit taller than you. This was the first time you had ever seen a dragon, so you were at a loss for words.

Especially when the dragon starts cracking up.

“What happened to you guys?” He asks, still smirking.

Apple Bloom sighs. “It’s a long story Spike. Can you just get Twilight? We need some help.”

“Sure.” Spike says. “She’s in her lab. Just stick around!” he says with a laugh before slipping inside.
The four of you don’t have much to say, so all you can do is wait around and listen to Scootaloo smack her gum.

“Scootaloo, could ya close your mouth when you chew? It’s getting really annoying.” Apple Bloom says, putting emphasis on “really”

Scootaloo scowls at Apple Bloom for a moment before smacking her gum at a much faster rate, really trying to annoy her.

“Why you… C’mere!” Apple Bloom yells before tackling Scootaloo. They roll around on the ground for a few minutes before the door to the library opens.

“Ponies, Ponies, a little order here?” A female voice asked behind you. A violet unicorn stands in the doorway, looking at you four with a raised eyebrow. “What…” She shakes her head and sighs. “Nevermind. I don’t want to know. What did you need?” She asks.

You wave a hoof at the gum covering most of your body. “If you could just…” you allude. She gives you a smile and shakes her head. “Alright, alright. I can take a hint. Let me try something…” Her horn glows with a violet light before you and the three fillies are hit by a cold, stiff breeze that permeates you to the core. Your teeth immediately begin to chatter, but you smile as you see the gum break apart and fall on the ground. Giving a shake, the rest comes lose. “T-T-Thanks.” You manage to sputter out.

“ah ongue!” You hear one of fillies call out. Scootaloo stands there with her tongue hanging out; the gum she had been chewing frozen to it. “eh ah ahh!” she yells as she shakes her head back and forth.

“Here lemme help.” Apple Bloom says as she grabs a hold of the chunk of frozen gum. “I’m gonna pull it off, okay? On the count of three.” Scootaloo nods and braces herself. “One… Two…” Apple Bloom give a devilish grin, as she rips it off before the next count. Scootaloo’s eyes go wide and she yells at the top of her lungs as she holds her tongue.

“Hey, hey, easy now, it’s over.” You say, trying to comfort her.

“No! ‘he wipped mah ‘ongue off!” Scootaloo says, her hooves over her mouth.

“Come on, let me see.” You say.

Scootaloo runs up to you and opens her mouth. Her breath still smells sweet like bubblegum. Other than a little red spot, it was in tact.

“Come on, you’re fine. Don’t be such a baby.” Scootaloo looks at you and sticks out her sore tongue at you.

“Alright, well, I’m heading home. It’s getting late.” Sweetie Belle says.

“Ya, and it’s almost time for dinner!” Apple Bloom says as she trots off.

Scootaloo decides that speaking isn’t such a good idea at the moment and just smiles at you. You smile back, waving them all off as they head home.

“Well, you sure are the popular one?” Twilight teased. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you around here.”

“Ya, I just moved in. I meant to stop by earlier, but things got a little crazy.”

Twilight cocks her head at you. “Stop by? For what?”

“Well this is a library, right?” You ask.

“Oh. Oh!” Twilight realizes what you’re after. “I usually don’t get a lot of ponies stopping by after books. What do you want to read? The Pony Went Over the Mountain? The Three Ponies? The Little Pony That Could?” She suggested, bringing a pile of children’s books, naming the titles. You shake your head, feeling a little insulted, but not surprised that she would suggest children’s books. You were still a kid, of course.

“I was actually hoping you had something on ocean currents around Equestria.”

She’s a little taken aback at your request, but she gets the idea.

“Here we are!” She says, levitating a book in front of you. The title read “Ocean Circulation, Volume 1”

The book was pretty thick, but that didn’t stop you. “Thank you! I’ll get it back when I’m done!” You say as you hurry out the door, the book balanced on your back.

It didn’t take long for you to get home. Your mother was waiting for you, drinking a cup of tea. “Welcome home,” she says as you wipe your hooves off “have fun with your date?”

You blush, but don’t let it get to you. “I’m going to my room. Call me when dinner’s ready.”

The book was getting heavy and you wanted to get it off your back, not just for relief, but also to see inside. Setting it on the desk next to your maps, you crack open the book and begin flipping through the pages. You stopped when you finally found it. A map that matched one that belonged to your father. The one in the book had very detailed drawings of the currents swirling around in the open ocean. Immediately, you begin to make notes on the map and compare them to the ones you already owned You only took a break when your mom brings up your dinner and fall asleep just as the sun began to rise.