I'm just a guy who loves to write.
Apple Bloom is lost. She's trapped within a labyrinth of corridors and has been forced into the form of a strange, unfamiliar creature. However, she isn't alone in her infinite prison. Something evil is slowly starting to join her. Apple Bloom's sole chance for getting back home lies in the hands of a mysterious guide, her friends, a doomed couple, and...the Doctor.
Page generated in 0.105 seconds
Total duration
1,023 users online
1,498,206 hits today, 2,004,447 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Well I know what I'm doing tonight! :D
that... sounded bit creepy even from the Doctor... can't he see that these two are foals. ( granted he never saw unicorn or pagisues before but still)
love it!
Poor Rory's been "killed" again! ;)
Oh boy, I hope the CMC are ready to expirience the Doctor's kind of crazy, cause their gonna be going on a ride to crazy town on the crazy train!
EVIL!!! In the TARDIS?! NEVER! Well...
Except for The Master...
And those burned husk, things...
And the-
Okay, so evil inside the TARDIS is not so impossible... Ok, totally plausible... Alright, fine! The TARDIS harbors the single greatest evil in the universe, but at least he tries to do good.
Of course, he's 11! He has to say that.
And now yet another iteration of MLP/Doctor Who crossover from Doc Perseus. And one that transforms ponies into humans when they enter the TARDIS and vice-versa. And herein you prove that you're also good at writing 11, Rory, and Amy as well as 10, Donna, and Rose and 9 even. The TARDIS taking the form of Babs and its reasoning for it very interesting. I'm interested in seeing where this is going. This was supposed to be one shot from what I understood. Keep up the good work.
3456114
Yeah, it was originally a one-shot but it was taking me so long to get it done (mostly due to a mixture of procrastination and other stuff) that I decided to just split it into two parts and upload what I've already written as Part 1 so that I could give something to the people who've been waiting for this one-shot since I announced the results of the survey about a month ago.
3456133 Just noticed you're in the Featured Box! Congrats! Welcome to the club!
3456297
I ended up in the featured box?!
Didn't expect that to happen. I checked and it seems I'm not there anymore. Was it this story or another one of my stories?
3457558 It was this one but it was only there like maybe 5 minutes or so. At least that's how long I saw it there.
THE DOCTOR HATH DECLARED IT! SO IT SHALL BE!!
not that it wasn't before its just official now.
Nah, the Doctor's not the most horrific evil in the universe. Though he may carry hope in his bloody hands and so on. Well. Then again he IS the Nameless One, ancient and immortal... Maybe he really IS the evil one! (dramatic music) Also, nice to see the TARDIS again. TARDIS as Babs is particularly cute.
I want to like this story. I really do... but there are a few things that are really making it difficult.
Firstly... the constant species swapping. This feels incredibly forced. It feels like you turned the Doctor and the Ponds into ponies just for the sake of making them ponies. I get that Doctor Whooves is a huge thing in the fandom, but honestly, it feels incredibly weird to have them turn into ponies the second they step out of the TARDIS, and turn human(oid) when they go back in. It feels unneccessary, padded, and intrusive.
A radical idea: Why not keep the Doctor and his companions humanoid when they go to Equestria? I can honestly say that I've NEVER read a Doctor Who crossover where the Doctor a) had a companion that wasn't originally a pony, and b) was humanoid. That alone would be new and incentive enough to read it.
Secondly, The reactions to the transformations on all accounts was rushed and unbelievable. There were no decent reactions to it. Everybody seemed to just get over it instantaneously, pretty much deciding from the get-go that "whatever it's cool." I think even the Doctor would have a little more to say about it than "Ponies are cool." This is the sort of thing that people would treat as a big deal. Even Amy, who objected at first, got over it pretty quick.
Thirdly, First Contact was rushed and stilted. Nobody really felt like themselves and it didn't feel particularly organic or flowing. It felt like it was going through the motions and doing so at a rather stilted pace. I'd suggest reading up on some HiE/Alien-visitor-style fics to try and get a better idea of how such a thing would go.
Lastly, Amy's constant thoughts butting in. All those times where Amy thinks things like "The Doctor is crazy yeah definitely crazy look how crazy he is" feel like your telling rather than showing. If you want to get across the idea that the Doc is crazy, don't tell us by having Amy constantly harp on it. Maybe have her comment on it once, but repeating that sort of thing over and over is a chore to get through. And more important than her telling us anything at all ever is showing it to us with the Doctor's actions.
Ultimately, nice idea... I think the execution could use some polish.
3459976
Thank you for your constructive criticism. I'll definitely keep your points in mind when I'm writing Part 2.
3460340 YAY! Finally, a story with the Ponds in it!
I AM SO HAAAAAPPPPPYYY!!
... On another note. Has anyone else seen the christmas special? I swear, I cried when The Doctor saw Amy. Clara was all like "Da Faq? Who he talkin' to?"
This story is CANCELLED?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!!
