Chapter Eight: First Light
It didn't take long for Diamond Tiara to reach her intended destination.
With the night giving way to morning, the sky was steadily starting to brighten making it easier to navigate with every passing minute for the filly. That, along with the fact that she was in no mood to bother trying to be sneaky about things, let Diamond Tiara set a quick pace. She didn't particularly care if she was breaking curfew, and if that crazy bat-pony showed up again, she planned on telling her off then-and-there.
'Maybe I'll even tell her to go ahead and splash me with that stupid bucket of hers...'
Diamond Tiara thought to herself, as she realized she might need a good rinsing soon, as she glared down at the soggy stretch of dirt that marked the first portion of the camp obstacle course.
The sun wasn't up yet, but it was still light enough to see that the mud pit had dried out a bit since she had last seen it, though not as much as one might expect. Some of the pegasi about camp made a point of bringing in a small cloudburst over the pit every couple of days to keep things, well, muddy. A bit of maintenance could save them a lot of work, as the whole camp would be making use of it again at the end of the month, and breaking up that much dried up mud could take hours.
Not that any of this occurred to Diamond Tiara, as the only thing that came to mind for her was how it looked just as disgustingly gross as before.
And worse still, the mud was probably a bit chilly this early in the morning...
Diamond Tiara found herself chewing on her lip, as she hesitated at the edge of the obstacle course, suddenly wondering why she felt like she should even bother with something so stupid. And messy. And stupid.
She didn't care what any of these other ponies thought of her. So what, if these ponies couldn't realize that Diamond Tiara didn't need to prove to anypony how great she was? Sure she hadn't finished the obstacle course herself, but that had only been because she hadn't wanted to. If she had wanted to, she could have finished it without any help at all...
...which was totally why she didn't even need to bother doing anything as stupid as this. Why even bother being out here? It was just more time she was stuck here looking at the ugly little buildings that made up the camp. Just more time reminding herself that she was stuck at this stupid camp. More time spent without anyone that cared about her for miles...
Everypony around here thought she was a snob or a jerk or some weak little nobody. They kept making fun of her for things that weren't even her fault, like being stuck in the same cabin as that lousy blank-flank and-...Snails.
And there were crazy bat-ponies teasing her, threatening to dump cold water on her.
And that Lancer trying to tell her that she was a bad filly, that Diamond Tiara might...
She'd finish this stupid obstacle course on her own, and then make them take her back home. Then she could go back to hanging out with Silver Spoon and being popular and not have to deal with all the jerks that wouldn't leave her alone at this camp. Once she showed them that she didn't need anything from this camp, they would have to send her home.
Diamond Tiara glared down once more into the muck, as she started taking in deep breaths, trying to prepare herself for the first plunge. It was just mud, after all, and she could always take another shower afterward.
It hadn't even occurred to her that she had left her tiara back in her cabin, though that was just as well. It would have probably just come loose again.
Taking one more deep breath, Diamond Tiara edged her hooves closer to the very edge of the pit, before glancing up towards the wooden beams above it, and the ropes hanging from said beams. Swallowing, the pink filly reached a hoof out towards one of the dangling ropes, recalling how some of the other campers had used them to pull themselves through the mud before.
The one she was reaching for was just a hair too far.
She could brush her hoof against it easily enough, but couldn't reach quite far enough to pull it closer.
Diamond Tiara loosed something between a growl and an aggravated sigh, before glaring down at her hoof. Sometimes, it might actually be handy to have wings or some sort of magic for this sort of thing.
Or some opposable claws like that little dragon, she sometimes saw around Ponyville.
Sending an ugly look towards the frayed rope now, she inched ever closer to the edge of the pit, till she found herself leaning out over the mud reaching for that first rope. She might have wondered why she was trying so hard to avoid getting any mud on herself at this point, considering that she intended on jumping into the mud immediately after she got a hold of the rope. But she was far too concerned with how close she was to reaching her first goal...
Her prodding had gotten the rope swinging a bit now, and if she just timed it right she could just reach her hoof around it, and...
“You know campers aren't allowed on to the obstacle course without supervision?”
“Gyah!” Startled by the quiet, masculine, voice behind her, Diamond Tiara ended up swiping at the rope in surprise knocking it entirely out of reach. And far more distressingly, costing Diamond Tiara her rather precarious balance on the edge of the mud pit, as she soon started windmilling her hoof in an order to keep from falling forward “Wha- No-No-No-No-No-No. Almost...Oh no...”
Despite her desperate efforts she soon found herself falling face first towards the mud, with only a moment to cover her face with her hooves before the inevitable happened...
...that inevitable thing that was taking a bit longer than she thought it would.
Moving her hooves away, and opening her eyes, she looked down to see the mud still below her, though it didn't seem to be getting any closer than before. And in fact she seemed to be just hanging over the mud, despite her forehooves having no purchase. It took her a moment to notice that this wasn't the only thing that seemed amiss, before looking back.
It was one of the camp staff, the really burly stallion, with the copper-colored coat and dark mane and tail, looking back at her with his almost trademark half-lidded gaze.
He still had his hoof pinning her tail to the ground.
“Is that your hoof on my tail?!” Diamond Tiara shrieked.
Stalwart Gaze slowly turned his gaze down to the hoof in question, and the white-streaked, lightly-violet tail pinned underneath it. After a few moments of silence he turned his eyes back towards the angry filly.
“Would you like me to move it?” The stallion calmly asked.
“Uh, yeah!” Diamond Tiara rather hastily answered, eliciting the steady rise of Stalwart Gaze's eyebrow. With his typical patience, he pointedly glanced towards the mud, drawing attention to the fact that the only thing keeping the filly from falling face first into said mud was the stallion's hoof pinning down her tail.
“...Right now?” He asked again, as if to make absolutely sure of the filly's choice.
“I just said-...” Diamond Tiara almost blurted out the 'Yes!' that would have sealed her fate, before taking the hint from the stallion and reminding herself of her position. Quickly planting her forehooves on the edge of the grass once more, she used her rediscovered traction to quickly scramble back from the edge of the muddy section of ground. Without a word and a firmly unhappy look on her face, she turned around before using a hoof to try to swipe her tail out from under the stallion's hoof, now that her position was more secure.
Diamond Tiara grunted with effort, as she found neither the stallion's hoof or her tail had budged.
Shooting a glare up at the bemused stallion, Diamond Tiara turned her attention back towards her tail before again trying to pull it out from under the stallion's hoof.
Again without any progress.
Huffing in annoyance, the filly looked angrily back up towards Stalwart Gaze “Will you, please, move your stupid hoof, now?!”
“Of course.” The stallion easily agreed, without any fuss or anger with Diamond Tiara's tone.
Her tail now freed, she quickly pulled it up with a hoof, looking over the part of it that had been pinned under the large stallion's equally large hoof. It was basically fine, or at least as fine as it ever got at this stupid camp. Without the carefully tuned beauty regimen that she normally underwent each day, both her mane and tail had been looking worse and worse. They were already losing there luster and shine, and both were steadily straightening out without their regular curling, and she was increasingly having to deal with knots and tangles.
But her poor tail was otherwise fine.
“You're out rather early.” Stalwart Gaze pointed out blandly.
“Tch! Yeah, so? Is that a crime?” Diamond Tiara irritably remarked, as she again ran a hoof over the end of her tail again before letting it go.
“Calling it a crime would be a bit too strong...” Stalwart Gaze observed, before slowly turning his gaze across the empty field. Taking in a deep breath of the cool, crisp morning air, he looked back down upon the aggravated filly “May I ask what you were doing out here?”
“What are you doing out here?” Diamond Tiara immaturely countered, as she looked back towards the obstacle course.
“I always try to take my walks in the morning. I find the quiet atmosphere and cool air relaxing.” Stalwart Gaze easily answered, again not letting Diamond Tiara's manner bother him; he had dealt with far greater obnoxiousness before, from Canterlot's supposed nobility. Noting the filly's stubborn silence, he glanced over their surroundings before shrugging internally. She didn't have to answer if she didn't want to.
And it was fairly obvious what she had been intending on doing, anyway.
“You probably wouldn't have made much progress on your own.” Stalwart Gaze remarked, as he too looked over the expansive obstacle course.
“Hmph!” Diamond Tiara went, as she smartly turned away.
“Did you have a plan in mind for this part?” Stalwart continued on conversationally.
“Like I would need a plan to deal with a little mud! If you hadn't interrupted, I probably would have already been done with it.” Diamond Tiara claimed, which only earned a tilt of the stallion's head.
“That's a possibility, I suppose.” Stalwart Gaze conceded, before seeming to consider his own thoughts for a few moments. Turning an eye towards the taciturn filly “You just seemed to be thinking about something very hard, is all. I assumed you were coming up with some sort of plan of attack for the course.”
“Well, I wasn't.” Diamond Tiara sharply replied.
“Makes one wonder what you were thinking about so hard...” Stalwart Gaze observed, eliciting a brief start from the filly, as she was reminded of her earlier thoughts.
That quickly took the wind from her sails.
Silence quickly fell across the duo, one that didn't seem to bother the stallion but left the filly squirming in agitation.
...Why was she even bothering with any of this?
“It's really supposed to be a team exercise, you know?” Stalwart Gaze suddenly spoke up, keeping her from getting too lost in her thoughts once more. Noticing that he had the filly's attention, the stallion shifted on his hooves briefly before continuing “It's designed to encourage teamwork between campers, and teach them to capitalize on both what they have in common and their differences.”
Diamond Tiara just continued to send a confused stare his way.
He took this as a sign to continue.
“You might have noticed that each cabin has at least one member from each of the three primary pony tribes?” Stalwart asked, before gesturing a hoof idly towards the stretch of mud “Earth ponies take the lead, fording the path for the Unicorns and non-flying Pegasi. You'll want to avoid just jumping in, as that's a good way to get stuck. Take slow, but steady, steps. Meanwhile, you have your Unicorns and your Pegasi that can fly put their talents towards bringing the ropes into easy reach, so you can use them to pull yourself through the mud. Unicorns and non-flying Pegasi help push on the Earth Ponies from the back, and soon enough you're on the other side.”
Diamond Tiara just sat there, a bit flabbergasted by the point-by-point breakdown of how to get past the first obstacle.
“...At least, that's how I would go about it.” Stalwart Gaze finished, without acknowledging the little filly.
Blinking away the bewilderment, Diamond Tiara again frowned to herself, glaring down at her own hooves “...who asked you anyway?”
Stalwart Gaze was as impassive towards this remark as he ever was, sparing the filly little more than a shrug “It's just something to think about.”
“Well, maybe I don't want to think about it!” Diamond Tiara suddenly snapped at the stallion, who, rather infuriatingly, continued not to react to the angry filly's poor manners.
“I already told you that I don't need a plan! I can do this this lame course on my own!...Not that I even really want to!” Diamond Tiara continued to rant.
“I see.” Stalwart Gaze nodded easily.
“I mean, this stupid thing won't prove anything!...Not that I need to prove anything! It's just something for idiots and blank-flanks to use to make themselves feel better about themselves anyway!” Diamond Tiara claimed with a stomp of her hoof, and a glare sent towards the stallion.
“...”
“...”
“...”
“...Forget it! I'm not doing this stupid course!” Diamond Tiara suddenly declared.
“Is that so?” Stalwart Gaze prompted.
“That's right! I don't need to prove anything to these...feather-brains! It's not my fault if they're jealous of me!” Diamond Tiara continued on, not giving any mind to the way the stallion's gaze seemed to have wandered away from her.
“...Ahem.” Stalwart Gaze audibly cleared his throat, though Diamond Tiara was too caught up in the moment to notice.
“They're the ones that are jerks! Making fun of me all the time, and acting like it's my fault!”
Stalwart Gaze again cleared his throat, in an effort to get the filly's attention.
“Well, I don't like them either! And you know what, if everypony hates me so much, maybe I don't need any fr-”
“Diamond Tiara?” A filly's voice softly called over, causing Diamond Tiara to suddenly snap her mouth shut in surprise.
It was Delicacy.
“D-Delicacy?!” Diamond Tiara blurted out, reaffirming the obvious, as she spotted the filly. She couldn't help but note that the Canterlot filly's pale blue coat, made her seem almost like a ghost in the early morning light. Swallowing down her surprise, the pink filly tried to avoid looking towards Delicacy, even as the other filly slowly approached “W-what are you doing out here?”
“An excellent question. It is quite early, Ms. Delicacy.” Stalwart Gaze noted, as she approached the two of them.
“Oh, uhm, yes...” Delicacy hesitantly began, glancing to the side as she noticed Diamond Tiara awkwardly doing the same. Swallowing, before clearing her throat, Delicacy gestured towards the pink filly “Uhm, I saw you...earlier? When you left the cabin?”
“Yeah...” Diamond Tiara muttered, still unsure how much of her angry ranting Delicacy had heard, before being noticed.
“And...I was a bit worried? Cause you seemed upset?” Delicacy slowly elaborated.
“I'm not upset!” Diamond Tiara blurted out forcefully, startling Delicacy a bit, as the pink pony turned towards her. After a few moments, Diamond Tiara cleared her throat uncomfortably before again looking to the side “It's not like I have anything to be upset about...I just didn't want to spend anymore time in that gross cabin, is all...”
“O-oh...I didn't mean, I mean after everything...” Delicacy began before drawing to a pause, as she turned a sad gaze towards her own hooves.
Stalwart Gaze watched the two fillies as they awkwardly stood in silence, neither looking towards the other, or dealing with the issues that were obviously plaguing each of them respectively.
The stallion had to resist the urge to sigh.
And while he was busy managing to hold back the heavy sigh that had built up in him, he found his eye drawn to one of the camp's buildings.
Or more specifically, one particular building's roof and it's occupant.
Stalwart Gaze gave a slow tilt of his head towards Sea Breeze, as the eccentric bat-pony waved a hoof towards the stallion, her presence completely unnoticed by the two fillies.
Lowering her hoof, the distant bat-pony made a show of leaning back against the metal roof of the building she had chosen. She wasted only a few moments doing so before noticing the two fillies in the most exaggerated way possible, pointing her hoof towards the two of them with a look faux shock for Stalwart Gaze's benefit.
He simply rose a single eyebrow at the bat-pony's antics.
Noting his reaction, Sea Breeze shrugged before reaching over to the other side of the peaked roof with a hoof, retrieving an old bucket in the process. Again going through great lengths to make sure that the stallion could see her every gesture, she held out the bucket for Stalwart to see, before nodding her head towards it.
After a brief pause, Stalwart Gaze shook his head.
Sea Breeze, still overacting, glanced towards her bucket before making an almost theatrically disappointed expression. Turning back towards the stallion, she held up the bucket again before pointing her other hoof towards the bucket, shaking her head and mirroring the stallion's earlier action.
Stalwart Gaze nodded in turn, re-confirming his decision for the bat-pony.
Sea Breeze slowly nodded, before casually tossing the bucket back over the other side of the roof. With an easy shrug, the bat-pony took to the air before sending a salute Stalwart Gaze's way and lazily flying away, off to finish up her patrol.
If he wanted to handle things here, that was his call.
Stalwart Gaze slowly followed her with his gaze as she flew off, before turning his attention back to the two fillies.
It seemed the two had been far too preoccupied with not speaking with one another to notice any of these recent events.
He had to work very hard to keep in that sigh.
“...Ahem.” Stalwart Gaze loudly cleared his throat, breaking both fillies from their thoughts, and earning their attention. Nodding towards Delicacy “Well, as you can see, Ms. Tiara is in fine health.”
At this, Delicacy glanced towards Diamond Tiara before turning back towards Stalwart Gaze and nodding. She almost managed to speak up, before Stalwart Gaze continued.
“And I can keep an eye on her, but for now you should probably head back to your cabin. You can still-” The stallion prompted, in his usual even tone.
“W-wait!” Delicacy suddenly shouted, which by most pony standards amounted to barely raising her voice above a normal speaking volume. But still it was a fair effort on her part, and more than enough to halt the stallion's words.
Much to her surprise.
And Diamond Tiara's.
“I-I mean, I can't- That is not yet...uhm, sir. I-I have to-...” Delicacy began to babble, even as Stalwart Gaze looked on calmly. Turning towards Diamond Tiara with a look of brief, but intense, worry, Delicacy closed her eyes as she suddenly took in a deep breath. Shifting her hooves again, Delicacy turned back towards the bemused stallion “I-...I really need to say something to Diamond Tiara.”
The pink filly in question watched all of this with her own uncharacteristic worry, and only just noticed Stalwart Gaze's nod towards Delicacy, prompting her to speak her mind.
Diamond Tiara almost found herself petrified as she noted Delicacy taking a few hesitant steps forward. She had been very busy dealing with some very...lame emotions just now, and was not nearly composed enough to be dealing with this. She didn't even know how much the unicorn filly had heard. What if she saw? What had she heard? Diamond Tiara couldn't even remember what she had been shouting about earlier, only the feelings that had been tied up in her head coming loose. What if she-
“I-I'm really sorry, Diamond Tiara.” Delicacy quietly said, as she had trouble meeting the pink filly's own somewhat panicked eyes.
Diamond Tiara blinked.
“Like...what?” The pink filly asked, her head tilting in confusion.
“F-for the other day...on the hike?” Delicacy hesitantly reminded.
“...Oh.” Diamond Tiara grunted, as she was suddenly forced to recall that day “That-”
“I-I didn't mean to not...say anything...” Delicacy suddenly cut-in again, surprising Diamond Tiara again with her surprisingly forceful attempt to get her words out. Delicacy briefly glanced towards her hooves again, before forcing her gaze back up towards Diamond Tiara “It's just-...I'm really not good at-...those kinds of situations. A-and-...And I'm not used to...saying things...you know? When I...mean to...”
Diamond Tiara found herself staring at the filly in front of her, at a loss for words. Seeing Delicacy shifting about on her hooves anxiously, left her almost tempted to say something. It made her feel as if she was supposed to say something.
“I really am your f-friend!” Delicacy blurted out suddenly, saving Diamond Tiara the trouble of having to do so. The unicorn filly gave a brief pause, before again turning to the side, as she struggled to say the next words “I-I mean, I want to be...I know I'm not-...I didn't do very well before. There aren't many ponies to be friends with back home. And I know you probably want someone better or-....or nicer than me. I know I'm not very nice sometimes- I'll try harder! And...”
Delicacy again trailed off, as her throat started to tighten. Diamond Tiara was just staring at her now, like she was some kind of crazy pony, which is exactly how she should be staring at her. She had just babbled on like some sort of-...babbling pony! Delicacy didn't babble. She couldn't just- just....throw her feelings at somepony like this! She was supposed to say all of this nicely, and here she was just-...
Delicacy started to feel the corners of her own eyes burn, as she sat under the pink pony's scrutiny. She was messing this all up! Diamond Tiara was-
“Will you, like, just chill already!?” Diamond Tiara suddenly shouted, giving Delicacy some pause.
“W-what?” Delicacy stuttered out, as she stared at Diamond Tiara.
“I don't even know what's got you so upset. You're acting like such a baby.” Diamond Tiara said with a roll of her eyes.
“B-but I- The survival hike?” Delicacy reminded with a sniffle.
“Hmph, I'd like totally forgotten about that whole thing. I mean, that was so last week. ” Diamond Tiara said dismissively. Stalwart Gaze let one of his eyebrows raise a touch at that, musing to himself that the events in question had technically occurred at the end of last week.
“...E-even the part when Scootaloo-” Delicacy began to broach again.
“Hah! As if I could be bothered to remember anything that feather-brain happened to say. Probably something about Cutie Marks or flying anyway. Lame.” Diamond Tiara continued on, with an upturn of her nose.
“...Oh.” Delicacy said weakly and with no small amount of confusion.
“Though, I guess I can see why somepony like you might be so worried. I mean, when you're friends with a pony as popular as me, you might worry a bit about getting lost in the crowd, or something.” Diamond Tiara glanced to the side, casually looking over one of her hooves “Luckily for you, I'm just not the kind of filly to forget my friends...”
Delicacy had to consider the pink filly for a few moments, clearing her own thoughts, before she started to grasp what was really going on. Swallowing again, the unicorn filly hesitantly began to smile “So...you still want to be friends after all?”
“Well, obviously the best filly in camp can't be friends with any less than the second best filly in-” Diamond Tiara haughtily began, before being interrupted by the unicorn filly colliding with her.
Well, less colliding, and more hugging...
Suddenly realizing what she had done, Delicacy quickly disengaged from the blushing pink filly, with her own awkward laugh “I shouldn't have done that...I'm sorry, it was...really improper...”
After a few moments of silence, Diamond Tiara shook her head clear, before turning up her nose “Yes, well, don't let it happen again...I mean, like, unless I say so. The foals around here are so clueless, they might get the wrong idea or something.”
Delicacy just nodded, her own expression beaming.
“Well, Ms. Delicacy, was there anything else you needed to discuss with Ms. Tiara?” Stalwart Gaze suddenly interjected, gaining the filly's attention.
“O-oh, uhm, no sir.” Delicacy answered, as she recalled the stallion's presence.
“I'm glad to hear that. Perhaps you should be on your way back to your cabin, now?” Stalwart Gaze suggested.
Delicacy hesitated, before glancing towards Diamond Tiara, which the stallion easily picked up on “I'll be sending along Ms. Tiara shortly.”
“Okay. I mean, yes sir...I'll see you in a little while, Diamond Tiara?” Delicacy asked with another glance towards the pink filly, to which Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes.
“Like, duh! It's not like this is some huge place.” Diamond Tiara pointed out, a bit obnoxiously, though Delicacy didn't seem to pay mind. She simply nodded with another smile, before turning back the way she had come.
“One more thing...” Stalwart Gaze called after the filly, as she began to leave. Having garnered her attention, the stallion made a pointed glance towards their surroundings, before re-focusing upon the unicorn filly “If Ms. Sea Breeze stops you, remind her that she's not allowed to chase you back to your cabin with a bucket of frigid lakewater...this time.”
“O-...kay?” Delicacy hesitantly agreed, before glancing towards the the gray sky, pushing her pale yellow mane from her eyes as she did so. A moment later, she re-doubled her pace back to the cabin.
The unicorn filly failed to notice as Diamond Tiara watched her disappear across the field, the pink filly's earlier confidence utterly absent.
After about half-a-minute of watching the surprisingly worried look of contemplation the pink filly was sporting, Stalwart Gaze cleared his throat once more.
“Well, that was rather nice of you, Ms. Tiara. A bit unorthodox, but nice...” The stallion observed, shaking the filly from her thoughts, and earning a glare from the Earth pony filly.
“Tch, like, are you still here?” Diamond Tiara sneered out before turning her scowl off to the side.
“I am. I was wondering if there was anything else you still wanted to get off your chest.” Stalwart Gaze explained.
“If there was, why would I want to tell you?” Diamond Tiara pointed out with a huff.
There were actually quite a few things going through her head at the moment. Private things, that she didn't feel like sharing with anypony. Like how, despite part of her feeling somewhat exulted by Delicacy saying she still wanted to be her friend, a larger part of her somehow felt even worse. Or wondering how the Canterlot filly could have been so upset about the possibility of losing her as a friend? Then reminding her self that, of course Delicacy would be upset at the possibility of not being her friend anymore. Then wondering why that thought seemed to upset her so much.
Diamond Tiara was really starting to wish that Delicacy had picked a better time to...talk to her.
The Earth pony filly was feeling particularly raw at the moment, and was finding herself increasingly exhausted, despite not having really done anything.
She really just wanted to go home. And hang out with Sil, and talk about how stupid all of this was. And remind everypony how lame Apple Bloom and her little pack of friends really were...
“Any plans then?” Stalwart Gaze asked conversationally. Noticing the confused, and irritated, expression the filly sent his way, he elaborated “You are still planning on tackling the obstacle course?”
Diamond Tiara blinked, before glancing towards the obstacle course again. It had been her whole reason for sneaking out, but now after everything that had just happened...
She didn't really have all the anger from before to spur her on, and now the thing just seemed so...
Big.
“What? No! That thing is like...stupid. I don't even know why you think I would want to bother with that stupid thing...” Diamond Tiara muttered.
“To show everyone that you can?” Stalwart Gaze calmly supplied, though, after a moment or two, was disappointed to see Diamond Tiara just stare off to the side without comment.
“Walk with me.” The stallion suddenly requested, before quickly trotting past the bemused filly.
“What? Why?” Diamond Tiara demanded, confused by the sudden request.
“I haven't finished my walk. And I feel like you might have something you'd like to say.” Stalwart Gaze easily answered.
“Tch. I already told you I don't want to talk about anything! Why would I now?” Diamond Tiara demanded.
“You don't have to say anything. Or you can say whatever you want. Talk about what's bothering you, or don't. Complain some more, if you want. Or you can just curse at me for a while, if it suits you.” Stalwart Gaze suggested to the filly, with his usual stony expression.
“C-curse at you?” Diamond Tiara asked, a bit surprised by that last suggestion.
“If you want. We aren't really teaching you 'independence' or 'self-discipline' if we aren't even allowing you to manage your own words.” Stalwart Gaze pointed out.
Diamond Tiara had to admit that she felt briefly tempted to go right then. Even if everypony else thought she was some sort of...bad pony, she had never really tried cursing too much. Her own daddy had always been really strict on that point, and she almost doubted that she even could.
Or that she wouldn't suddenly get in trouble if she did, no matter what this strange pony said...
…It was still kind of a thrilling, the idea of being able to use any dirty words that she wanted.
“Walk with me. You can speak your mind if you feel like it, or not.” Stalwart Gaze again reiterated, breaking Diamond Tiara from those thoughts. Noticing the stubborn reluctance on the filly's face, the stallion tilted his head towards her “Or you can always take a walk back to your cabin with Ms. Sea Breeze.”
Diamond Tiara took a moment to shoot a glare towards the stallion, before she grudgingly began following him.
Several minutes later...
“Mmrrgh, if I don't have to say anything, why do I even have to be here?” Diamond Tiara suddenly demanded of the impassive stallion, breaking what he had thought had been a comfortable silence.
Stalwart Gaze only spared her a small glance, before continuing to set the brisk pace for their walk.
“You said you weren't going to ignore me!” Diamond Tiara blurted out in annoyance, eliciting a twitch from one of Stalwart Gaze's ears.
“I said I would listen to what you had to say...and I am listening.” Stalwart Gaze calmly countered.
“...Where are we even going anyway? My hooves are starting to hurt.” Diamond Tiara complained.
“We're walking.”
“Ughh! Where are we walking?”
“You'll see when we get there.”
“This is stupid.”
“Maybe you can practicing cursing for a while. Expand your vocabulary.”
Diamond Tiara glared up at the stallion once more, both for his enigmatic answers and his...stupid suggestion.
Stalwart Gaze let out a sigh, as he felt the filly's angry gaze fall upon him.
“You're starting to remind me of my own colt.” The stallion idly noted.
“What?” Diamond Tiara asked, briefly stumbling over her hooves, as she tried to keep up with the stallion's longer strides.
“Back in Canterlot. A bit younger than you. Still looking to find his own Cutie Mark.” Stalwart Gaze elaborated.
“Uh, I have my Cutie Mark.” Diamond Tiara smartly pointed out.
“And a hard head. Like my son.” Stalwart Gaze continued, without bothering to look for the irritable look that he knew Diamond Tiara was sporting at his remark.
“We, myself and his mother, may have tried pushing him towards our own interests when he was younger. Get him to follow in our respective hoofsteps.” Stalwart Gaze explained to the bemused filly. He briefly paused mid-step to shrug “Now he doesn't want to listen to anyone.”
“Uhm, why should I care?” Diamond Tiara asked with a raised eyebrow.
“You don't have to. Just making conversation. I imagine you don't listen to others for entirely different reasons.” Stalwart Gaze remarked, again showing a good deal of patience for the filly.
And Diamond Tiara didn't really have anything to say against that. Even she could admit that she didn't bother listening to what many ponies had to say to her.
“So, why'd you decide to come to this camp?” Stalwart Gaze asked, not allowing them to lapse into silence again.
“Uh, I didn't. Daddy made me come.” Diamond Tiara replied, making it sound like it should be obvious that she hadn't wanted to come.
“Ah, I see.” The stallion nodded, before continuing “So, you don't really have any goals for while you're here, then?”
“Why would I?”
“You might enjoy yourself a bit more if you set some goals.”
“Fat chance. There isn't even anything to do here anyway.” Diamond Tiara quickly dismissed the idea.
“You don't want to improve yourself, at all?” The stallion asked, his ear turning towards her, listening for her answer.
“I don't need to improve myself, at all.” Diamond Tiara confidently stated
“That's not what the other campers seem to think.”
“I already told you, I don't care what they think.”
“And very convincingly at that.”
The pink filly frowned mightily at that particular remark.
“I don't care what you think either! This whole camp is pointless anyway.” Diamond Tiara declared, coming to a rather definitive stop “And I'm done with this stupid walk!”
“Setting goals gives the camp a point.” Stalwart Gaze pointed out, as he too came to a stop.
“I don't care! What sort of goals am I supposed to come up with here anyway?! And where are we?!” Diamond Tiara demanded with another stomp of her hoof, surprising herself with her desire to go back to her bed. Sure the cabin was dusty and disgusting, and the bunk beds were uncomfortable, but she really didn't want to have to deal with this annoying pony anymore.
“...You can set any goals you want.” Stalwart Gaze told her, pointedly glancing to the side to draw the filly's own gaze towards something.
It was the first distance marker that she had stopped at on the day of the Evaluations.
Or, more accurately, the spot that Stalwart Gaze had carried her to after she had collapsed on the day of Evaluations.
Diamond Tiara had to look down at her hooves in momentary disbelief, before again looking up at the post that had been jammed into the ground.
That didn't make any sense.
Sure her hooves and legs were aching some, but before...
“You might even exceed those goals.” Stalwart Gaze remarked from her side, breaking the filly from her staring. Noting the uncomprehending look on the filly's face, the stallion gave a bit of a shrug “You'd be surprised how quickly Earth pony magic can begin to kick in.”
Diamond Tiara again couldn't really find any words, too busy staring at her own hooves in wonder, trying to figure out what she was seeing.
“Ms. Lancer probably ran you a lot further than this yesterday. Take it a step at a time, and you'll be surprised by how far you can get.” Stalwart Gaze pointed out.
“...Yeah.” And that was all the filly could think to say.
“Take a few minutes, and we can begin to head back. You can get in a hot shower, and be the first one in line for breakfast.” Stalwart Gaze suggested, before cantering a short distance away, letting the filly be alone with her thoughts for a bit.
She only really had the one thought going through her mind.
'I'm going to show them all who the best pony really is...'
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and within the last minutes of my attempts to see what I've been missing on this site and return to recovering from my current sickness, and you go ahead and post an update.
I guess I'll have something to read at least while I'm coughing up wads of yellow and green phlegm all over the place.
Great mental image, I'm sure. I wonder if there is any Luna Sick in Bed pics I can use for an avatar? lol; Well, see you in the morning or afternoon. Thanks for the update!
5268679 You have my sympathies. Part of the reason this update took so long to get up, was that I spent much of the last couple of weeks in the same position your describing.
I suppose we might as well get this kind of thing out of the way before winter strikes in earnest.
Anyway, I hope this update brightens your evening.
Hey, you seem to have forgotten my offer on editing =P
Anyways, I'll go read this later when I've got time.
5268789 Sorry about that.
I've had a hectic few weeks, and I was kind of zeroed in on finishing up this latest chapter while I had a window to write.
Again, really sorry about that, as I really do appreciate the idea.
That was such a nice conclusion to the chapter. I like that DT is improving, despite herself.
Also, on the typo front, there are several places you left out punctuation before dialogue. I'd say just put a comma in them but I'm not entirely sure that works for any context. Regardless, it didn't impact the quality of the read much.
5268876 Yeah, her aim is still a bit off, but at least she's becoming a bit more proactive about things. I wanted to make sure that I didn't rush her into becoming a better pony, and this seemed to be a good balance between improvement and stubborn denial.
And, I think I'll wait till morning to go over this latest chapter. Clear my mind of it a bit, so that those kinds of errors stand out more. Afterward, I'll probably comb over the previous chapters as well.
5268909
Yeah, that's good. A quick and fast attitude change would be impossible for somepony like her who's been that way her whole life essentially.
Can DT turn herself around? I have my doubts
5268827
5268876
If the dialogue is followed by an attribution of who said it and how (also known as a "dialogue tag"), then the whole thing (dialogue plus attribution) is treated as one sentence, and the following rules always apply:
(1) If the character's spoken sentence (the part between the quote marks) would normally end with a period before the closing quote, you use a comma, instead;
(2) the first word of the attribution (the part following the closing quote mark) is not capitalized, unless it is someone's name (or the pronoun "I", which is of course always capitalized);
(3) If the character's spoken dialogue ends in a "?" or "!", you use those marks, but the dialogue-plus-attribution is still treated as a single sentence, and the attribution is still capitalized (or not) according to rule (2) above.
So, while dialogue lines like these are correct:
These, however, are not:
Only when what follows the dialogue is not an attribution of who said it and how, but is instead a completely separate action that is not connected to the dialogue, do you end the dialogue with a period (or ?, or !) and start a new sentence:
Here, we have a sequence of events:
(1) Diamond Tiara speaks two sentences of dialogue.
(2) Diamond Tiara glances to the side after she finishes speaking.
(3) Diamond Tiara then says a third line of dialogue after she finishes glancing to the side and looking over her hoof.
Therefore, this is (correctly
) treated as three separate sentences, punctuated and capitalized accordingly. If Diamond Tiara's actions of glancing to the side and checking her hoof were meant to be simultaneous with her speech, then it would be written as:
Also, speaking of dialogue attributions: Use "said", "asked", and (occasionally) "replied" whenever possible. These are "invisible" to the reader, and they won't notice you using them repeatedly – but they will notice when an author continually tries to avoid them. Over-using more specific, fancier speech verbs like "interjected", "observed", etc. gives rise to the dreaded "swallowed-a-Thesaurus" syndrome. (And if anyone tries to persuade you otherwise, point them to Douglas Adams' The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. In the first chapter (15 pages), there are 58 dialogue attributions, of which 44(!) are "said", with the remaining 14 being fairly evenly divided among "growled", "continued", "exclaimed", "shouted", "asked", "hooted", "called", "sighed", "joke (-d)", and "reply (-ied)". If it's good enough for someone whose books have sold 15 million copies and counting, it's good enough for fanfic.
)
If it's really necessary to convey a specific tone of voice, it's often better to use an adverb ("said excitedly", "asked curiously") – but again, don't overdo it. The tone of voice can often be inferred just from the dialogue and the characters' actions alone – and of course, if the speech verb you're using already describes a specific tone of voice, it's not necessary to add an adverb describing the same tone. There's generally no need to say a character "shouted loudly", for example, since "shouting" is assumed to be "loud" pretty much by definition. Also, adverbs generally go after the speech verb – "began hesitantly", "noted idly" – not before.
"Reminded", by itself, is not a speech verb and can't be used this way. "Reminded" is an action, so it needs to have an object for the verb to act upon. You can say:
"Her", being Diamond Tiara, whom Delicacy is hesitantly reminding of something. (And in cases like this, where an object follows the verb, it's okay to have the adverb before the verb – although "reminded her hesitantly" would also be acceptable. It's only when there's nothing after the verb that "<noun> <adverbly> <verbed>" reads strangely, and "<noun> <verbed> <adverbly>" is preferable.)
Oh, one other thing:
It's, with the apostrophe, is the contraction of "it is." Its, without the apostrophe, is the possessive pronoun ("belongs to it"). Possessive pronouns ("his", "hers", "theirs", "yours", "its") are exceptions to the "apostrophe-S makes the possessive" rule; possessive pronouns never get apostrophes before the S.
One easy trick to tell if you're using the right one, is to insert "it is" into the sentence and see if it still makes sense:
(This also works with other pairs like "your" / "you're", "were" / "we're", and so on. Expand the contraction out to its full form – "you are", "we are" – and see if the sentence still works.)
5269126
Whoa, thanks for the dialogue tips. I'm usually pretty good with its/it's but dialogue like that can be tricky to remember all the little intricacies.
What a brilliant idea. I'll definitely get around to reading this soon.
5269126 Wow, that's thorough. And very much appreciated, so thank you. I'll be sure to refer to it as I continue my editing.
5269120 Can't have suspense without doubt.
I may be entirely wrong about this, but I suspected something was up with Stalwart from how he acted around Diamond Tiara. The hypothesis so far points to guilt from messing up with his own son.
5270051 There is a bit of that, in his character. It's not some colossal, irreversible screw-up at this point for him, but it is on his mind. He also just has a general tendency to try to look after and advise others, as he doesn't like seeing others make mistakes that he could help them avoid.
5269847
(I really ought to assemble all this stuff into some kind of guide one day... I know there's already a writing guide/FAQ on this site, but I think its sheer length tends to scare people off or make their eyes glaze over trying to pick out the bits of info they actually need. 
)
5269275
Always glad to help!
I used to wonder if they even taught this stuff in school anymore... then I went to Fiesta Equestria earlier this year, got into some conversations with bronies who turned out to be schoolteachers, and discovered (to my dismay) that no, apparently, they really don't teach this stuff very well anymore. Elementary and middle-school teachers are told by the administrators "don't stifle the kids' creativity by getting too hung up on teaching spelling and grammar; they'll learn that stuff in high school"... and then the high-school teachers are told "don't waste time on basic spelling and grammar rules; they've already learned that in elementary school."
I know they definitely don't drill the students in basic sentence structure anymore, seeing as how every time I've mentioned "diagramming a sentence" to anyone under the age of 30, they look at me like I've just sprouted a second head... 
(Sheesh, when I was in 3rd grade, back in the '70s, they made us do Reed-Kellog sentence diagramming until we could practically do it in our sleep!)
Which is sad, because by not giving the kids a solid foundation in grammar and spelling early on, all they're doing is making it harder and more complicated for them in the long run.
5270431
I'd be interested in a link to that guide, when you make it.
And if it makes you feel any better, I had to do diagramming in elementary as well. I'm under 30 by about a decade so it's not dead everywhere. I definitely agree with you on it making it harder on the kids in the long run too.
5270679
Well, that's a pleasant surprise!
Maybe there's hope yet...
Granted, it is very definitely one of those things you're not likely to do very often (if ever) once you actually get out of school, so it's an easy target for criticisms of "why waste time teaching a skill they'll never use in the 'real world'?"... but for grade-school kids who are still trying to get a handle on the parts of speech and how they fit together, I think having that visual representation to go along with the grammar lessons can make it much easier to grasp the concepts being put across, especially since most kids that age find it easier to understand something if they can see it. Picture's worth a thousand words, and all that.
5270431 I vaguely remember that and I am under 30, although it was very brief so I do not really remember much of it at this point which means they were probably phasing it out when I was in elementary school. On the plus side, I did spend most of middle and elementary school chewing through an enormous number of books that were way above my supposed reading level so I have gotten to the point where I can catch most grammatical errors more by instinct than any knowledge of what the actual rules are supposed to be if I am looking for them. That can obviously cause problems with some of the really little details like the period vs. comma thing in dialog you mentioned so I would definitely be interested in reading your guide as well if you ever get around to writing it. I have one old guide I had to get for a college English class I can use, but that is bulky, wordy, and only exists in non-searchable hard copy so I would definitely like something better.
5271185 5269126 I'm kind of in the same boat as D48, in that I find that I tend to write more by feel than technique. Like D48 I spent most of my childhood going through book after book, so this has served me relatively well, up till now. I vaguely remember the actual technical information behind grammar, but I fear I was caught in that wave of lax teaching standards that lead to it being a bit of an underdeveloped field for me.
So, again, I really do appreciate the information that was provided. I always try to be open to criticism and strive to improve, so this should prove really helpful in the longterm if I take the time to digest it properly.
5270431 English was my least favorite subject throughout school, but regardless, I have absolutely no idea what the f
k diagramming a sentence is(23 now). I barely learned what adverbs were and don't remember now. Still haven't learned the difference between effect and affect.
So, what I'm basically saying is, yes, the standard is set fairly low nowadays.
Have you ever considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily? You can find out how to do so here. If Delicacy and the camping staff were voiced, what would they sound like? Is Sea Breeze based of off the Sea Breeze from Ask King Sombra?
5275216 Sea Breeze is actually an OC of my own creation, concocted without drawing from outside sources, at least not in any sort of conscious way. I was actually surprised when the Breezie named Sea Breeze showed up in the show, even if they have almost nothing else in common other than a name. Likewise, I didn't know of any other characters by that name when I thought her up and started fleshing out her character.
As far as voicing goes, one commenter suggested that Lancer might sound like Sgt. Calhoun from "Wreck-it Ralph" and I instantly agreed with the idea. Otherwise, beyond broad strokes I've mostly tried to leave voicing up to the imagination of the reader. Stalwart Gaze has a mature masculine voice, and speaks very calmly. Delicacy tends to speak quietly, properly, and with a bit of a Canterlot accent. That sort of thing.
And I'll look into submitting my stories to this other site too.
EDIT: Incidentally, thank you for referring me to this "Ask King Sombra". At a glance, it already looks amusing and I'm sure I'll enjoy checking it out.
Seems like the name 'Sea Breeze' just keeps popping up places.
EDIT. EDIT: I'd have to think about it a bit, to be able to describe the rest of the character voicing, I think.
aww i was hoping for water bucket
I'm loving this story so much. Especially Sea Breeze, please put more of her in. She is just so AWESOME. I love how playful but serious she is. OMIGOSH OMIGOSH OMIGOSH. She is too cool! Just one thing I want to have fixed up. Telekinesis is the ability to move objects with ones mind. Ponies use magic, not Telekinesis.
5279816 I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far. Sea Breeze in particular.
As for the telekinesis thing, I'm going for the definition of the word based on "distance movement" rather than psychokinesis or "mind movement". So in this case it's more that they are using magic to move things at a distance, as a specific sort of magic that it just happens that most unicorns learn to use. Does that make sense?
In other words, when I say telekinesis, I'm referring to the action of using magic to move things at a distance.
Hope that cleared things up.
Oh, and if you really are that fond of Sea Breeze, she has her own story "Conversation Piece" in my little collection of works. I'll probably be updating it next actually.
5280782
Ok. I have two thing to say.
1. I got schooled with that Telekinesis thing. Seriously. I work in the food industry and I've never been burned that bad before.
2. OMIGOSH I HAVE TO CHECK OUT THAT STORY!!!
5280887 It's an easy mistake to make, so no sweating it.
And it's a short story for Sea Breeze, probably no more than three chapters, the second of which I'll probably begin writing today.
5281405
Its actually 4am here, and I'm still reading about ponies... I'm so gonna die in the morning.
5268679 There's a picture of Celestia sick in bed by Johnjoseco.
fc06.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2013/017/6/c/nurse_luna_to_the_rescue_by_johnjoseco-d5rr56r.jpg
5300582 Luna seems to be enjoying herself.
5300820 She does. There's a story based off that picture called Enter Nurse Luna that is extremely amusing. You may want to check it out if you thought the picture was funny.
I like that, already done improvement. She no longer thinks that everyone should just see her as the best by default, she wants to actually be the best new.