Discord falls back on his old habits and sends each of the mane six to a different fairytale. Twilight gets sent into her favorite fairy tale, Beauty and the Beast. She finds herself in the place of Belle, a lovely young girl who loves to read. Twilight couldn't be happier, until she realizes that the story will continue on its course and bring her to the castle of a beast. It shouldn't be too hard to keep the story running straight, right? Wrong. Especially with who the beast turns out to be.
Part 1 of 6 of the Fairy Tale Chronicles
Chapters (2)
I like the look of this so far. Ponies and Disney, what's not to love? Although a Twilight x Discord ship seems...odd to me. Not bad, just odd.
And if Discord is the beast, what's going to happen at the end of the story? Will he turn "back" into this mysterious prince pony guy who is definitely not Blueblood? Guess I'll just have to wait and see
@Outcast4Ever...
1. An interesting story & series premise. As a literary refinement, I would suggest adding the overall series title in the individual story title if you can.
Meaning... The Fairy Tale Chronicles (part 1): Twilight & the Beast (or something similar)
This way, you have better reader-recognizability for the later stories in your series.
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2. Personally, I think would have preferred it if twist were that of Spike taking on the role of The Beast, rather than Discord. However, rather than his "Spikezilla" grown-dragon form, he would be a horrific misshapen dragon-pony (not a draconequus himself, but in the same vein; which in turn, would provide Twilight a clue to who is behind her fairy-tale entrapment). Besides the romance side of the story, it would also feature the drama of Spike's own self-doubts, -loathing, & fears of what he is, what he feels is perceived to be, & might yet become. And who better to reach past all that, right down to a heart nobler than any royal prince, than Twilight...?
3565242
1. Yeah, I probably should do that... I'll fix it shortly
2. That would be interesting, but Spike has a major role in the fourth story of this series. In that story, we will get the drama of his doubts and such because of the fairytale I have chosen.
I'm glad you like it so far.
3565329...
3. Fair enough. Hopefully it is a fairy tale (two words, by the way, for a minor correction) that features Spike as the central protagonist and not another Rarity-infatuation story. I think "Snow White Rarity & the Seven Diamond Dogs" would be enough on its own already
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I love this!!!!!!!!!!!
A Discord/Twilight ship story in the guise of the Beauty and the Beast {one of my all time favorite films.}
SO MUCH YES! {I'm not a big fan of the pairing, but that's mostly because I haven't read anyone do it well. Hopefully you can pull it off.}
My favorite pairing in my favorite story? Check. Writing that doesn't make me want to jump off a cliff? Check. So much yes!
Could you imagine if Nicole Oliver (Princess Celestia) sang the "Beauty & the Beast" Disney-song, then sung by Angela Lansbury (Mrs. Potts)? I think fans of both MLP:FiM and Disney would faint in droves
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I feel like I'm going to disappoint so many people...
3586060...
1. You will disappoint people with...
- a. sloppy technical writing (fatal to any literary writing, regardless of how good the story premise is)
- b. overly short chapters (shows no Author effort, which in turn tells the reader audience not to invest either)
- c. un-descriptive &/or un-involving chapters (Shoving character names on the literary stage and bullhorn-shouting to the reader-audience, "this happens! imagine the rest of it!", rather than being vividly descriptive & detailed. Again, shows lack of Author effort.)
- d. vastly inaccurate to your source materiel (which with a CrossOver theme, is made doubly difficult)
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2. Writing Discord for the role of The Beast is both easier, and more difficult...
- a. Easier... There is plenty of source materiel to draw upon, just go watch John DeLancie in his Q role across the Star Trek series (TNG, DS9, Voyager), since that is very literally who Discord is based upon. But in short-summary, Q is the one who stirs up trouble(s) either because he is: 1- bored, 2- because he can, &/or 3- has a roundabout lesson to teach; however, despite whatever chaos he causes, he is rarely malevolently-intentioned.
- b. More Difficult... Discord / Q is not exactly a good fit for the role of The Beast. The Beast is a tortured soul paying the price for his narcissistic vanity &/or nobles' arrogance (depending upon the version of the fairy tale you read). And unfortunately, Discord is not exactly coming from a similar position of suffering (more depicted as being the cause of suffering), it is the proverbial square peg through the round hole problem.
- c. This is why I would have written Spike in the role of The Beast as I mentioned down-thread [Had I the free time to commit to extended fan-fiction writing, rather than simpler reviews & critiques.
], since his character is the long suffering "outcast" in the MLP:FiM-verse.
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But I could be wrong, or be missing a better storytelling angle, or perhaps need a bigger literary hammer for pounding the square peg through the round hole
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3. In any case, just write what you can. As I intimated above, write clearly, cleanly, hale & hearty for chapters' size, and true to your Crossover theme. You may not "wow!" the reader audiences, but you will rarely disappoint, either.
Hope this helps.
To be honest, I'm kind of put off by the fact it's Disney's Beauty and the Beast. I love that movie, but I kind of dislike how fanfic writers always go for the Disney version. Considering all of the crazy fairy tales in the world, I think Discord could also pick some of the lesser known ones, but that's just my opinion.
I haven't read it, I'm just going off the description here, but that's the reason I'm tentative about doing so. (That and my Read Later thing is already stuffed full of fics I still haven't gotten around to yet...)
This fic interests me...I shall follow it
I like it. More please.
I wonder who is going to play the asshole? Blueblood? BigMac? ... Discord?
Oh my celestia, this is wonderful! As long as the Prince isn't Blueblood, I could care less about who he is. Just keep the amazingness coming!
Random moustache!
Loving it
I can't wait for Gaston
Some advice:
Other than a few lines where Twilight says things to the effect of "Oh, I'm Belle now" and "Oh, my dad's here too," this chapter was pretty much straight out of the movie. And in addition to not being very interesting, this seems a bit unlikely to me. Twilight gets sucked into a storybook and just continues on like there's nothing odd about this at all? First of all, I'm pretty sure this sort of thing would probably make Twilight freak out at least a little bit, followed by an attempt to figure out what's going on and how she got there. And then when she does decide to go along with the story (as I'm sure she would), why follow the book exactly? Twilight already knows everything that's going to happen, so she could use that to her advantage. Or she could treat this like a self-insert fic and do things the way she'd do them.
But really, I think the bigger problem is that, like I mentioned earlier, lifting a story, or even a chapter straight out of the movie isn't very interesting. We all already know what happens in the movie. If we wanted that story, we'd go watch the movie. We're reading your story because (we hope) it's something different. Yes, you're allowed to borrow characters and plots and such things (this is fanfiction, after all), but you have to make it different enough to keep us interested.
What?No gaston?
can nobody use the original
I was really enjoying the first two chapter, you made a strongly-written and fun little premise for an enjoyable story idea. I was hoping the next chapter wouldn't be this. I unfortunately have to agree with 3743638 on this one, this chapter is a bit contrived, unrealistic and dull, and unless they have Disney in Equestria, it's unlikely she'd know all the lines off by heart out of her storybook, and even less likely she'd use them when interacting with the world. I especially don't understand why she would call her father "Papa" and he call her "Belle" and work on his invention like he always does that, if he's been transported into the story too.
That said, the rest of your story is solid with strong writing, and I would like to see where you take this, especially in terms of veering from the Disney script and making this a crossover fan-fiction rather than a pony-insert.
4195735 3743638 I agree with both of you, and I'm actually not all that happy with this chapter. I've been debating whether or not to A.) continue the story as it stands, B.) take it down and rewrite it, at least from this chapter, or C.) take it down for good.
The only reason choice C would be an option is because I simply have no muse for this story as it stands, and will not likely get back to writing this particular story for some time. However, I would like to know the readers' opinion on this, as far as possibly deleting the story goes. Please let me know what you all think.
4196088 I think the first two chapters have a lot of potential and are enjoyable in themselves.I reckon this chapter could do with a tweaking at least.
Perhaps you could make it that when she first arrives, twilight guesses that Discord sent her there and just plays out the story to troll him. Because it would be pretty funny if Discord's sitting there waiting for mayhem and all he's getting is a Disney movie playing towards an inevitable happy ending.
Or when she gets to her father he's all like "what am I doing with all this machinery? Where am I? And she's all like "Oh Papa, you're so funny" and goes dancing off into the Disney sunset.
Well, I'm just thinking of comedic possible tweaks to the chapter but the more likely option would be that she has no idea where she is and wonders what magic has gone wrong for her to be in a strange town with strange ponies in strange clothes and while all the other ponies are singing straight from the movie's script, she's confused and disoriented. Has no idea why people are calling her Belle. Her lack-of-ability-to-understand-the-situation-frustration reaches its climax when her own father calls her that and she has no idea what he's building. Or she could, hilariously, know exactly what it is when he actually doesn't know what he's building and it's something completely inappropriate to the situation, like "Dad, stop calling me that! ...And why are you building a ____?!"
4196088
Well, it's been a few months since I read this, but from what I remember and what I wrote in my comment, I think it would be best to rewrite the chapter if and when you continue this story. I wouldn't recommend taking the whole thing down unless you're sure that you're never going to continue this. If you just think it will be a while before you do, go ahead and leave it up with the "on hiatus" tag like you have it.
And on a random note, while writing this, I noticed this other comment I made when you first published this.
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3565098
I mentioned that I thought that shipping Twilight and Discord was odd. I think it was shortly after that that that very ship became my favorite ship in this fandom, even though it is lacking in excellent fics. (And once I realized that I could legitimately use three "thats" in a row, I knew I had to
3738630 I would guess Blueblood.
Lol Discord... Troll time!
This is pretty good. I hope you can continue one day.
When are you going to make the rest of the series?🤔
Either Pinkie's in Sleeping Beauty, or Rarity is.
Do you have time to write the next story, too bad because I liked it and wanted to know the sequel