• Member Since 22nd Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Lewd Yoshi

There, finished. Go on... what do you think?

Comments ( 25 )

SSSSSHHHIT, why does omitting the chapter delete all the comments that were here before D: Aw man... I'm sorry to whoever posted stuff here. I wish I'd screen capped all of it.

:O The rewrite is happening! :D

That it is~
I'm like 8k words into the next chapter, but it's got another entire scene to get through plus afterglowy stuff before it's ready for posting. Please lemme know whatcha think, I was kind'a tired of having the version I thought was inferior up for view.

I decided I’ll give some backstory through these little afterglow moments.

That's actually a really great idea, and it works pretty good too.

A great start, I'd love to see this continue.

Thanks! I thought it worked a lot better than the world building in the prior version~ Not sure when I'll have the next part up. It's nearly finished though, so hopefully within a month lol.

Looking good, I can't wait to see where this version of the story goes!

Preeetty much what you'd expect. The people who I took advice from mostly told me 'you should make the story more as what was advertised: Gilda reunites with her friends then fucks them' lol. I'm like prolly 2k words from being done with the third chapter involving Pinkie. This fic is going to just be sex for sex's sake at this point. The other world building stuff I had in the prior version will be delved in upon other stories where they have more meaning. It took me a while to realize that this story shouldn't have gone the direction I was taking it initially, but here we are~ I'm happy with what I've got so far and I'm glad people seem positively receptive to it :3

I await it all with eager anticipation

I appreciate it man <3 Thank you

“Heh, yeah. Well, part of the reason for pairing up is kind’a shallow, but the other half is cool. I thought if I got a little stretch from that thing first, I’d be able to help Fluttershy out.” She looked over to those two, nearly forgetting they weren’t alone. Judging by the intensity of Rainbow and Shy’s love making, they probably didn’t even notice the gryphon lift a pony larger than herself and walk across the room with her. On the plus side, maybe she wouldn’t even need to attempt to take that beast, Dash making it down to just before that thick thing’s hilt.

She shook her head, forgetting she’d been in the middle of an explanation. “Anyhow, the other reason I chose you was…” Gilda sighed, lifting herself up to get a decent look at her cum coated partner. “You know, the way I treated you last time. I mean yeah, I yelled at Shy, but you were making all this effort to show me a good time and I spat in your face trying to hog Dash’s attention.”

You have this/these paragraphs twice in a row.

Aaahhhh, I knew I'd mess up in that specific way somewhere. I copy and paste bits and pieces of the dropbox file over to fimfiction before I submit it as opposed to just ctrl + a and ctrl + v'ing the whole thing. I don't know what I was thinking, I usually use that as an opportunity to thoroughly preread the story before submitting, but in this instance, I was going way too fast and it ended up making typos for me >_>

I'm gonna reread the whole thing now and try to keep an eye out for any more of those as well as sections that are too repetitive with wording. Thank you very much for pointing those out to me~

That was a fun chapter. Good work, man.:yay:

Thanks! I was kinda worried people would think it got a bit repetitive (particularly how Pinkie ate Gilda out twice) but after giving it a ‘thorough’ reread and fixing some typos, it seemed to hold up alright.

I wish I had thought to rewrite the story sooner, I’ve had pretty much only positive responses to it, yours included :3

Is still waiting for this masterpiece to continue its trek to the climax

While I'm not quite getting the last chapter out as fast as I would have hoped, I am happy to report I'm at 8'200+ words as I write this. I'm thinking it'll be around 12'000 by the end, as I'd just started the final scene which will involve the sex stuff eluded to in the third chapter hehe.

I appreciate the interest, man (as well as the follow and fav'ing of my other stories lol) There are plans for a bonus chapter after the next upload, but for all intents and purposes, I will mark it complete and move onto other stories, as all the heartfelt stuff and the story of her 'redemption' are complete.

“You’re one to talk, G cups.”

That Line..... That wordplay....

Initially, it was gonna be "You're one to talk, G" but I thought the reader wouldn't pick up on it. Then I thought of making her say "Double G" only to realize that's actually H cup, which would make the following 'H, actually' redundant on Gilda's part, lol. I think the quips between Dash and Gilda were my favorite parts when writing this.

Would call it over the top...
But 'over the top' would be put to shame.

You must be a Suirano fan!

Over the top? I'm pretty sure there are way crazier fics on this site, lmao. Suirano does nice stuff, certainly not my favorite artist, but he's good.

I bet, but I try to stick to small doses until I get committed :p
Like to keep sanity a while longer, so from what I saw...it's one of the more brave.

Actually I think the talks were fun.
Gilda the softy..

Haha, fair enough. I do love a good cum shower or three, so it felt right to end on a note like it did xD

The little afterglow moments were fun to make and I'm happy most people seemed positively receptive to them. Making Gilda a big ol softy was fun too, even if it's slightly ooc. In my mind, her lines of work were a very humbling experience for her and was one of the major factors for her reflecting on her past and realizing she was mostly at fault for the events that transpired in 'Griffon The Brush Off'.

I appreciate you reading 'til the end, and am glad you seem to have enjoyed the story~

She parted from rainbow (name, should be capitalized) and approached the pony she really didn’t know anything about except for the whole huge tits thing. Fluttershy had grown taller since the gryphon’s last visit and really filled out that bath robe. While her enormous spheres of boob drew her attention right away, Gilda could appreciate Fluttershy’s curves elsewhere on her body as well. Her motherly hips looked ready to snap that snug clothing clean off her towering frame.

“ Dash ,” Gilda rose (raised) her voice.

Fixed, I appreciate it.

They should have hired you to write all the episodes that feature redemption

Lol nah, they’d still be waiting for season one related stuff if it were up to me to write anything. Fortunately with fan fiction there are no deadlines

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