Questions and invitation
“What the hell is going on here?”
When I normally ask that question, whether it was in school when I had pranks played on me, or whenever Leah decides to mess around with me, I normally get an answer of some kind. It might not be the one I want but I usually get some sort of answer.
This time though? No such luck.
Behind me I feel something quickly being wrapped tightly around my feet, binding them together. Not just that, before I have a chance to turn around I feel something wrap around both of my wrists and yanking them behind my back.
“Alright, who’s doing that?!”
“Alright girls, I got ‘im!”
That voice. No, no way it could be…
It is. Glancing backwards I see none other than Applejack on my back with a shoelace in her mouth, using it as if it was a rope. Right next to her is Pinkie Pie with a huge toothy smile, and also with a shoelace.
Normally in this situation I would be struggling like mad to get loose. Though all I can do is think one thing.
How are these toys doing something like this? And, of course, more importantly, HOW ARE THESE TOYS MOVING AT ALL IN THE FIRST PLACE?!
“Well girls what do ya think? I got this here varmint wrapped up good and tight. Ain’t no way he is getting out of this”, Applejack says as she and Pinkie Pie step off of me.
“Great job Applejack! That was awesome! I heard him when he fell, wham!”, Rainbow Dash says with a wide grin before sending a glare my way.
Ok, I must be seeing things. I just, I got to be seeing things. I don’t see any other explanation for this happening. I don’t think I hit my head that hard a bit ago but maybe I did? Yeah, yeah that is probably it. I probably just hit my head hard, am knocked out and am now seeing things.
Right?
“Wait, girls. This does leave us with a problem. I mean we do have one of these things tied up now”, Twilight says, looking at me.
“But that’s great! Now we can interrogate him!”
“What? Um, don’t I get a say in this?”
“Twilight, go get something to write with”, Rainbow says, her eyes locked right on me as she flutters closer than any of the others towards me until she is only about two feet from my face.
Twilight seems to think it would be a good idea as she quickly gets a piece of paper and a pencil from the table, along with a book that looks quite familiar.
“Now listen up you hairy ape, we are going to ask you some questions, and you are going to answer every single one of ‘em, got it?”, Rainbow says determinedly, her hooves on her… I think those are her hips, I am not sure about equine anatomy.
“Uh, well, ok? In case you couldn’t tell I am not exactly in a position to disagree”, I say, and cast a glare towards Applejack.
Rainbow gives Twilight a confident smirk as she nods, and Twilight looks towards me with a somewhat shaky smile.
“Right, right….”
She then does something I thought I would never see, not even in a hallucination. Her horn begins to glow, and that same exact glow appears over my copy of the Tanahk. And…. She is actually making the pages turn, and causing it to levitate.
I think if I was a cartoon my eyes would have practically fallen out of their sockets with how wide they are right now. Magic? Actual magic? Or, well, it would be actual magic if this was real. Which it isn’t. At least it probably isn’t.
“I found this spell book of yours earlier, and have been looking through it. This one bearded figure in particular seems to be able to command an amazing magic ability. Is… Is this a common feat of your people?”, Twilight says as her magic causes the book to turn towards me, showing the page with Moshe parting the Red Sea.
I can’t believe I am actually supposed to explain this to a bunch of ponies. Ponies from a kids cartoon show of all things. Just, wow, this is all sorts of ridiculous. Though I suppose I might as well go with it.
“Oh. Well, um, his name is Moshe and he…. Well he didn’t actually use magic, exactly. That is the most common point of view anyway.”
Twilight’s eyes widen, and she looks as if she was about to speak again, however another pony beats her to the punch.
In a blur Rainbow flies right at my face, stopping no more than an inch or two away from my eyes. “What? But, how did he do something like that without magic? That’s impossible!”
“Well most humans call it a miracle. Something that no human could normally do, though he was capable of doing.”
“Oh come on, that’s just silly. Nopony can do something like that without magic!”
Well Rainbow didn’t like hearing that, that’s for sure.
But why? I do think they mentioned religion before in the show. Didn’t they have a Christmas like episode? Hearth something or other? Wait… I think that one was more of a historical play than a religious one, never mind. Maybe something miraculous? No, no that isn’t there either. Pretty much everything, if I remember right, is done with magic.
“Let me ask you this, if I may. Have you ever seen or heard of something that is just so spectacular that it doesn’t have an explanation?”
All six of the ponies turn towards each other with Twilight shrugging slightly. However, Applejack soon steps forward.
“Well Ah suppose Ah’ve always found the sunrise ‘n sunset over my fields to be a mighty stunning sight. It takes ma breath away every time.”
“Oh yes, the way the sky lights up over Ponyville, on just the right kind of day…” Fluttershy says ever so softly and with a large grin. Though, as she notices the other five and myself looking at her, she slinks back behind Pinkie Pie.
“Hm. I suppose that does make sense. It is quite a sight”, Twilight chimes in.
“True, true, it is a dazzling sight to behold”, Rarity says with her hoof to her chin.
“Uhuh! It looks pretty and dazzling and amazing like Rarity’s dresses! And as pretty as my cakes back at Sugarcube Corner! Oh Twilight, we should make ourselves a cake before we leave! A BIG cake for a BIG pla”-
Pinkie Pie is cut off in the middle of talking by Applejack, as she shoves her hoof over her mouth to shut her up. I can’t help but chuckle a bit at the sight.
Waving her hoof dismissively Rainbow says, “Yeah yeah it’s cool, sure. But that’s just Celestia working her awesome magic!”
Celestia, Celestia… Dang that name sounds familiar but why can’t I place it? Dang my memory sucks.
“Is she some sort of god or something?”
“She’s as tough as a freaking goddess buddy!”, Rainbow says as she presses her hoof against my nose, making me wince. Yeah, my nose might not be broken but is still pretty messed up.
Placing her hoofs on her hips, she continues. “She and her sister are two super-powerful and awesome super-strong super ponies! They’re alicorns, made up of all the parts of all the pony races and they live forever and can raise the sun and the moon all on their own!”
I try to not, since she will probably be upset but I can’t help but let a slight chuckle escape from my lips, with Rainbow glaring straight at me when I do so.
“What’s so funny?”
“It just is so dang weird to me is all. You think the sun revolves around the earth, and the earth stays still? You really believe that sort of thing?”
“Well duh, of course we do! We always do!”
“You know that really is odd, right? The sun doesn’t move around the earth, the earth moves around the sun. And it does so on its own”, I say, confused by that. The more they tell me the more strange they seem.
Rainbow was about to speak, but before she is able to a glow surrounds her and pulls her back with the rest of the group.
“Ok, I think that is enough Rainbow Dash. Besides, there are a lot more things we need to ask him”, Twilight says.
“Oh goody”, I say in my most sarcastic voice I can muster. This will probably take a while.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Twilight, please, for the love of G-d can we stop for now? I have been stuck here on the floor for over an hour.”
Or at least it seems like it has been an hour. And that entire time I got more and more questions from everyone.
How many humans are there?
Why is your mane so carelessly combed?
What is your form of government?
Do you have any cake or pie here?
“But Micah, we still have another very important question”, Twilight says. “It is about something we have been confused about since we got here. Why is it people know who we are? We’ve seen pictures of us, and you know who we are.”
“Oh. Uh, that would be something you would want to know about for sure. And tomorrow I will tell you about it”, I say to her. Well, if they are still here and this is not all in my head. Which I really hope is not the case.
“I understand that, but Micah this is something we really, really need to know.”
“And I swear I will tell you all you want tomorrow. But for now, I am tired. Very very tired. So I would greatly appreciate it if you would please let me up so I can go to bed and sleep.”
Twilight looks to be considering my offer, but, as before, another pony interrupts her.
“No way!”
Rainbow flies straight towards me, landing right on my scalp. She may be really small right now but she is still extremely fast.
“We should keep asking questions! We didn’t tie him all up for nothin’!”
“Rainbow Dash, we didn’t tie him up. Applejack did. And besides, we can’t keep him tied up forever”, Twilight says to Rainbow. “We can ask him more tomorrow, but… I think he is right. We have asked a lot tonight, and tomorrow we can ask him more questions”, Twilight says, and looks over to Applejack. “Applejack, go ahead and untie him.”
I glance over to Applejack and her eyes and mine meet. She seems rather apprehensive at first but nonetheless moves towards me.
Rather easily she jumps onto my back, and very shortly I feel the laces on my feet and hands loosen until they are entirely untied, and Applejack jumps off as soon as she finishes
“Oh my goodness that feels better already”, I say as I start to slowly get to my feet, but stumble for a second and place a hand on the wall to steady myself. I think my feet might have gone to sleep from being in that position for so long.
Rainbow flies off of my scalp and hovers directly in front of my nose, her hooves pointing at me. “Don’t you try any funny business. I’ve got my eyes on you!”
“Duly noted.”
Looking behind and below Rainbow, I see all the other five ponies looking right up at me. Pinkie has her typical grin and big happy eyes, no shock there. Rarity and Twilight seem a little nervous but not as much as before. Applejack is looking up at me with her hoof on one of the shoelaces, like she won’t hesitate to use it to trip me up again. I have to say she is definitely rather skilled with that.
Though I can barely see Fluttershy behind the others. She must be terrified from all this. And I just added to it when I picked her up like a toy earlier. Not to mention her being stuck in a box outside my door for who knows how long, and the cat glaring at her as well.
“Um, Fluttershy?” I slowly kneel down, keeping a careful eye on Applejack and Rainbow Dash as I do so. I don’t want to get tied up again.
I notice Fluttershy just barely peeking her head up from behind the others, just so that an eye is looking up at me. She doesn’t say a thing but at least I got her attention.
“Well, I want to apologize. If I knew you were not a toy like I thought you were I never would have grabbed you like that.”
Wow. I am apologizing to a toy sized pony. Definitely not something I was expecting to have happen today, even if I am just imagining this. I hope Leah never finds out about it.
“It’s, it’s ok.”
I can just barely make out what it is she is saying since she is so small and shy, but I can guess easily enough what it was. I must admit she does look kind of adorable like that. Save for being so scared of course.
“Anyway, I will be heading to my room to sleep now. And if you all wish you can stay here for a while.”
“Why should we stay here, huh? How do we know you aren’t going to gobble us all up when we aren’t looking?”, Rainbow says as she moves in front of my face once more.
“I am not saying you have to stay here, the offer is merely there. If you want to leave I swear I won’t stop you. But you should know that there are some nasty people out there”, I say to Rainbow as I fold my arms over my chest. She can get kind of annoying with this behavior.
“Rainbow, darling, I think we should discuss this”, Rarity says. “This man here hasn’t hurt us. And it would certainly be cleaner here than out on those ghastly streets.”
“But we can’t just stay here!”
“We wouldn’t stay here forever Rainbow Dash. But it would probably be safer here than outside”, Twilight says, and then looks up at me. “We would just be careful.”
“Well, you all decide what you will. If you are here or not when I wake up, it doesn’t matter to me.” Since that would just mean it is all a dream anyway. As I head back to my room I stop for a second, turning back. “Oh, before I forget. Bonnie, come on, you are staying in my room tonight with me and Clyde.”
The moment I open the door Bonnie waddles over towards my room, her belly swaying side to side as she does so. I follow her inside, and look at the six new guests in my home before I close the door to finally sleep. Six ponies. Six multi-colored, talking, toy sized ponies that can use a shoelace like a lasso, use magic, and fly. I think this definitely takes the cake for the weirdest hallucination ever.
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Shenanigans are good. I like shenanigans. Hoo-wee shenanigans.
I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL PISTOL-WHIP THE NEXT GUY WHO SAYS SHENANIGANS!
3482075 Well I promise I won't say it next. Also, might I ask you a random thing?
Which of the six is your favorite one?
3482080
because of how insane she is.
Damn, I've never been able to pick a favorite... umm...
Shit, I've got a 4-way tie with Rarity and Flutters slightly behind. I guess I'll have to go with
Seriously, I can never truly pick between them, or the CMC. Hell, my favorite characters are Discord, Luna, Derpy, Spike, Sombra, and Chyrsalis, in that order, but people tend to be like "Only actual ponies/no BG ponies/no royalty", ugh. Zecora would probably be on that list if there was more to her.
3482108 Your choices are pretty nice. I remember before I liked the show the only character I liked was Discord. And I still think he is awesome. He is a great character. Chrysallis is cool too. Luna is also freaking great.
Out of the main six I like Applejack and Rarity most. Though all are cool. Also, so you know, in this story I am going to try to give each pony good screen time. I notice a lot of fanfics with a human sometimes totally ignore some of the main six.
3482075 *takes in a deep breath*
SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS SHENANIGANS
3482123 Frick, do people say it that often on this site? I am new here and I didn't know people say it that much. I should use a different word.
But, regardless, I am glad you seem to like the story.
Have a mustache.
3482123
media.rockstargames.com/rockstargames/img/global/news/upload/whack.gif
If I was him I would tie THEM up and question them
One thing I don't quite get is how he could forget who Celestia is if he watched the show enough to remember things about Hearth's warming and such. And why he seems so surprised at their cosmological beliefs. It's like he only heard about the show in passing and knows the characters a bit. Could you explain exactly what his relationship with the show is?
Also, I don't believe for a second that you can be tied up with shoelaces so hard that you can't escape.
He seems to go rather easy on them despite their crappy attitudes towards him.
3482337
He believes it to be fake or a dream, therefore, doesn't really give a shit.
Anyway, awesome! Keep 'em coming!
Also, on your note about HiEs and people ignoring some of the main six, that's because the main character becoming friends with all the of them, hell, even just some of them, has become a massive cliche. Now, people want to see the human interact with characters outside of the small circle that everyone follows so not every damn story is the same.
3482337 He has seen it enough to remember bits and pieces of the show, but not enough to remember everything about it.
3483451 Thanks for clearing that up. Although I still find it hard to imagine forgetting who Celestia was. What with nearly every episode ending with the phrase "Dear Princess Celestia" somewhere in there.
3488316 True, I might have been able to write that bit better I admit. I was just trying to make him someone who knows a bit about the show, but not a lot.
But thanks for your input :) . If you ever notice other stuff like that (if you read my story more) please point it out. I want to try and write this as best I can, and constructive criticism like you give is something I like a lot.
3488353 Well my other thing is that the guy seemed too passive. But maybe it's just different personalities. I know if some jerks tried to tie me up with shoelace (which wouldn't have worked on me anyway, but hypothetically) in my own apartment I wouldn't just lay there and answer their questions until the evening when they so graciously release me from my shoelace bonds. I would be to them like Rainbow Dash usually is to people in HiE fics.
Possibly ending with me stuffing them in a box or locking them in the bathroom (without a cat tho, that'd be cruel to one of the parties involved) and trying to interrogate THEM.
But other than that strangeness the story seems intriguing and I'll keep reading for sure. These are all pretty minor things in the big picture.
3488367 Well I did say that he is thinking this is just a dream at that point. But trust me, he will get on them about what the hell is going on pretty soon.
3488405 Oh shite right, I keep forgetting the dream thing, even after that other dude said it to me. Apologies. Although to be overly pedantic when you dream you don't really question things and strange events don't make you go "oh well it's a dream, I'll go along but be really lazy about it". Then again maybe it's just me
I don't mean to be THIS nitpicky. Yet 
3488420 It is ok, don't worry about it. I was worried when I posted this story people would be awful about it.
OMG this is worst story evar!
Stupid, I hate it!
I've seen better stuff from grade school kids!
Your stuff is fine and legitimate criticism. I don't mind that. I never mind criticism so long as it is fair, has a good point (which yours does) and is not simply insulting.
3488446 Well I can imagine some things you could do that would cause me to turn insulting
But as long as you don't suddenly have Dash still be emotionally traumatized by the events of MMDW, or make Discord (should he get involved at any point) a sinister mastermind of evil, or have the dude adopt Scootaloo, or have him try and persuade the ponies that the teachings of any single religion are unquestionably true, or probably some other things... I'll be as civil as can be! 
In fact even if any of those happen I'll probably still try civil debate, as would most people on this site I'd wager, so I don't think you have much to worry about. Honestly I haven't even seen really, REALLY mistake-ridden and amateur things get too bashed or insulted, let alone original and competently-done things like yours. 
3488471 Why thank you
. I promise religion won't be a big thing in this story. I just wanted to at least try since most authors seem to totally ignore it. I figured I could at least give it a shot without seeming too preachy.
And.... You think my stuff is actually a little original and competently done? Le gasp!
I am glad you think that about the story :) .
3488486 You say that as if I'm a certified literary critic
But, well, yeah, from where I'm at, this story seems both original and competently written so far. Keep in mind though that I haven't read every pony fanfic there is (even nearly, even in the HiE/PoE category, even the popular ones), and English isn't even my native language so I'm not the best judge of either of those things 
3488531 Still. I greatly appreciate your words, so thank you :) .
3488531 Oh, also, might I ask your opinion on human/pony romances in these stories? It won't happen in mine, I am just curious what your take on it is.
3488607 Well, I'm not too opposed to them in theory, but they're often badly done. Or at least from my point of view, I've got little experience with romance myself, having never fallen in love with anyone yet
But the badly done-ness usually manifests in them being too arbitrary/hasty, when someone who just happens to interact with the human character for a while unexplicably falls for him, without this human seeming in any way attractive as a person. Although sometimes the opposite happens where neither character admits or even realizes their feelings for like 50 chapters.
Also the internal debates the humans sometimes have over interspecies romance can be really drawn-out and stupid to me. I mean, I get it, horse-like creatures, but I haven't seen a single story where a character just realizes from the start that a pony is effectively just like another person, in a different body, and if you're attracted to someone's personality, it's only natural to start thinking they're pretty or 'hot' too (or is it just me who almost doesn't think of girls in terms of looks but rather starts enjoying seeing them after getting to know them?). Often seems like authors try to protect themselves from being accused of writing bestiality or something by having their characters be incredibly thick-headed about things that should be obvious.
Another cringeworthy thing is when it feels like an author has an unhealthy obsession over one of the ponies and writes his story as a sort of dream-fulfillment masked as one.
But as I say, I believe it can be well-done. I can't remember the name but there's an ongoing story about a dude who falls in love with Rarity at some point and that plot thread seemed pretty well-realized. To help identify the story, he's also doing assasinations of changelings on Shining Armor's command and has at one point helped escort some sort of caravan to Las Pegasus and killed a mobster there. It's better than it sounds, honest.
I haven't seen such a story yet, but a good take on human-pony romance would be if a pony falls in love, but the human realizes that the ponies, despite being clearly intelligent kinda on par with humans, still have mindsets of children (and I mean, in the show they're all pretty childish) and have some good emotional conflict over returning affections of someone who seems more naive, innocent and overall way less mature than you. Now THAT would be interesting. Kinda like dealing with a kid who has a crush.
3488734 It would be interesting for sure if they did something like that, but I doubt it would happen any time soon, or at least in any way that would be good.
3488781 Yeah, somehow people most wanting to write human-pony romance usually end up being the ones who aren't too good at it or have some sort of creepy motivation behind it like I mentioned.
3488808 All too true. That is a reason I am not even going to try it. Maybe being friends with the ponies? Sure, why not?
But romance? No, I am not even going to try it. Maybe in another story when I am better, but not now.
3488837 Well I would be surprised if you can avoid the main character being friends with some ponies throughout this story
Also, not to try and influence your plans, but a cliche that slightly irritates me in stories where both ponies and the show exist, is when a brony is for some reason religiously hiding the fact from the ponies that they're characters in a show too. Like, it wouldn't probably make their heads explode, or make them question their own existence even (when you're in a different world you probably accept that things can get weird like that), and I always feel like they deserve to know. If you end up having your character withdraw that sort of information, I hope you at least provide substantial reasoning behind such a desicion. 
3488884 Well I can tell you right now what will happen if you wish.
3489432 Nah, don't spoil stuff, I prefer to find out naturally
3491339 Very well then :) . As you wish.
The "Moshe" bit confused me a little but thankfully that was cured by a simple google search.
Great story by the way!
The main 6 underhandedly (though unintentionally) find their way to some guy's home and then cause him bodily injury, tie him up, refer to him as a 'thing', insult him and start making demands. Sounds more like the Elements of Thuggery.
3488734
"I haven't seen such a story yet, but a good take on human-pony romance would be if a pony falls in love, but the human realizes that the ponies, despite being clearly intelligent kinda on par with humans, still have mindsets of children (and I mean, in the show they're all pretty childish) and have some good emotional conflict over returning affections of someone who seems more naive, innocent and overall way less mature than you. Now THAT would be interesting. Kinda like dealing with a kid who has a crush."
Now that would be a story.
3552886 27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lmdxknkphE1qjyxt5o1_250.gif
Holy shit, they attack him, tie him up, and interrogate him (as rudely and arrogantly as possible, I might add), and they never get called on it?
Do they even apologize at any point for being such huge assholes?
I mean, what the hell? When did the entire Mane 6 get replaced by this bunch of assholes? And why isn't he calling them out on their behavior?
Celestia is not a goddess
God God God God God God God God God God God God
4171514 Um.... Ok? Might I ask why you are saying that? I am a little confused.
I would've probably stepped on them but this pointe their by accident or intentionally since they were being total assholes.
Was into this story, until the completely unprovoked assault that no one thinks twice of, even the assaulted.
Main
waifu6 or not, that's a good way to end up being a stain on the bottom of my boot. Or pet food.Dude, his name was Moses
.
Well, that is physically incorrect. Movement is relative, so in a system with a point of reference somewhere on the Earth's surface -- yes, not only the Sun, but the whole universe revolves around the Earth. If one were to place that point of reference on the Sun's surface, then the whole universe, including the Earth, would revolve around the Sun. So they both move each relative to the other.
And it should be noted, that nothing moves on its own accord. Our planet and our sun are linked by the gravitational force and accelerate each toward other. Only because the actual velocity vector is directed alongside the Sun's surface does the Earth not approach the Sun, keeping the distance from it.
aint no way mf got taken down by shoelaces