Ponies Playing Doom

by obake

Chapter 3: The Chaos Crusher

It was now nighttime. Everyone but Discord and Rarity had left the boutique, meaning they were free to play Doom II without interruption. Rarity wished she could be play it in the day, but there was too much risk of her being seen. The dead of night was the only time she had.

Discord watched intently as she booted up the game. The last she played, she had escaped Map 05: The Waste Tunnels, with only a thread of life. Now, she was on to Map 06: The Crusher, with only 3% health, 12% armor.

"Already, I am not impressed by your skill." said Discord, rather rudely.

Rarity did her best to ignore his remarks. She carefully walked around, sniping shotgun guys, not expecting anything worse than what she had faced before.

But through the darkness, there was a faint scream. Discord knew what it was, but did not say anything. He thought it would be more helpful for Rarity to learn on her own.

As slow as possible, Rarity inched forward, passed one column, then passed another.

Suddenly, a tall and gangly figure was only a few hooves away. Rarity ran backwards and tried circling around a column to avoid contact, but her hope was vain. The thing, which she could now see was a giant skeleton in armor, punched Doomguy in the face. He fell, his death cry raising putting a chill in Rarity's blood.

"You can't expect to avoid a Revenant so easily." said Discord. He remembered how scary his first encounter with the those skeletons was. Now, looking at it, he found it comical the way it bopped Doomguy on the noggin.

Rarity had the opposite reaction, dropping the controller momentarily as she shook.

"I...I" Rarity sputtered.

Discord did his best not to be impatient of Rarity's slow reaction to get back to the game. "Revenants aren't so bad once you get used to them." he said, "Try again, and it won't be as scary."

This gave Rarity a little more confidence. Still trembling, she restarted the level. Despite her health being so low, she managed to get rid of the shotgun guys with relative ease. But she knew what lie ahead, and so she was extra cautious.

There was a knock on the door. Rarity flew out of her seat. "What the?" she said, trembling. Now embarrassed, she went downstairs to check who was at the door this late. It was Discord.

"Your reflexes are still quite good," he said, walking in, "but you must learn not to jump in terror whenever something startles you."

"B-b-but you are upstairs..."

Discord sighed. "You asked me to help you, and I'm doing that. Don't you know that I am the master of chaos?"

Rarity sputtered. "Yes, I-I"

"I was simply testing you. That knock on the door was by me."

"But you were sitting next to me!" said Rarity.

"Exactly, and playing Doom is much the same. You may think you know what's to your left or right, in front or behind you, but that is all a false sense of security. Like me, a monster can be anywhere." Discord's tone matched his grin. The two went back upstairs and resumed their game. "Remember," said Discord, "Just because you think you know where something is, doesn't mean it won't go somewhere else."

Rarity took in his words. Doomguy inched closer to where the Revenant would see him. Its screech echoed through the dark, pillared room.

This time, Rarity knew somewhat more to expect. She blasted a few shells into the giant skeleton's chest, then retreated behind a column. She knew this thing must have an attack besides a simple punch, and she was prepared to take it down before it had a chance to use it.

The skeleton screeched again. Rarity strafed directly in front of the creature. Still scared, but with determination to finish it off, she blasted two shots into its face. The Revenant collapsed rather undramatically into a heap of bones. Rarity sighed in relief.

She half expected Discord to give a sarcastic slow clap, but he remained quiet. Rarity continued past the dark columns, shooting down a few more zombies. She arrived at a primitive elevator in a large, well lit room.

A few hundred yards away, The SpiderMastermind looked directly at Doomguy. "Now's my chance." it whispered. It's screech roared worse than that of the Revenant's.

Rarity had no idea what made the sound, but she knew full well it would be trouble. Then she saw it, pacing wildly on a platform above a set of stairs. The hulking, mechanical spider stared down and started shooting with its chaingun. Rarity scrambled for cover just below the platforms edge, where the spider could not snipe.

She remembered the time Spike had grown into a gigantic dragon. He was much bigger than this spider, yet at the same time, he was no where as scary.

Discord raised an eye, waiting to see what plans Rarity would come up with. Rarity's thoughts went all over the place, like a channel button on a remote being held down nonstop. She knew she had to think fast, because there were imps shooting fire from windows on the opposite side of the room.

A thought came to her mind. Spiders must be squished.

But how? This spider was too big to defeat with a rolled up magazine.

Not keeping track of time, Doomguy got hit with not one, but two fireballs.

Hurting, Rarity recovered, seeing a switch near the elevator. It must be the switch to lower the platform, she thought, wanting desperately to get back into the confines of the dark, columned room above.

She dove for it, making Doomguy smash the switch down with both hooves.

The elevator did not lower. Rarity held her breath expecting to be killed, but nothing came.

"What?" Rarity exhaled in a squeak.

Something was happening, but it was not to Doomguy, it was to the spider. Rarity turned around to see the beast being crushed underneath a ceiling, its metallic legs bending like pretzels until they finally snapped. Its roars of agony went throughout the entire room.

Of course, the Crusher! she thought, overjoyed. A heap of gore amidst muddled remains of a metal exoskeleton was a sight Rarity never thought she would be happy to see, but she was. "Take that, you pompous, no-good arachnid." she said. Discord rolled his eyes.

"What?" said Rarity, "I just came up with that one on the spot. I can do better when I have time to think about one."

The night went on. Rarity made it through Map 06 with relatively little trouble, something she did not think possible after such a difficult beginning. Map 07: Dead Simple, was a snap, despite having two new enemies: Fat, yellow blokes and spiders who were baby-sized compared to the one from the level before. In honesty, though, they were still huge and disgusting.

The stats screen popped up, along with the orchestral triumph music. "I'm on a roll!" said Rarity, hoof pumping. Discord smiled lazily. He was tired of watching someone else play a favorite game and not letting him take part in it.

Map 09: The Pit. Ooh boy, Discord thought, she'll have fun with this.

Comments

[obake]

3453063
That's an interesting question. I guess I always thought of the characters in their version of Doom as being human, but perhaps I should make them ponies, at least those who are human (Doomguy, the former soldiers, and John Romero). That way, it will make a little more sense. Every other monster can remain the same.

Thanks so much for your comment!

[obake]

3448115
Thank you!

[obake]

3449685
I will certainly check that out.

[The Letter J]

Further proof that ponies can be crossovered with anything

Doom II was one of my favorite games when I was young. I think it might have even been the first real video game that I really got into. And it was my grandma who introduced me to it. It was like Apple Bloom and Granny Smith playing Doom II together or something.

[lordalexander74]

And then she learns about Brutal Doom...

[brandonvortex]

3939512

i wish somepony wrote about mlp plays brutal doom i mean that mod is freaking awsome

[nullvariable]

Can't wait for the inevitable Doom 2016 crossover