Cheerilee wound a second scarf around Caramel’s neck, and then threw another blanket over him. “Is that b-better?”
Shivering violently, Caramel didn’t seem to hear her. His blank, wide-eyed stare was fixed on Ponyville’s frozen pond, which was currently surrounded by a small army of harried pegasi and hypothermic earth ponies and unicorns.
Cheerilee stroked his mane, picking out the small bits of ice she kept finding. I’d be surprised if he can hear anything at all over the sound of his teeth chattering. Retrieving her charred stick, she tried to bring some life back to the dwindling fire. She’d barely managed to get it going in the first place, and even though they were both nearly sitting in it, the fire offered little warmth. Pursing her lips, she glared over her shoulder. “I s-suppose you h-have a g-good explanation!”
Rainbow’s brow furrowed. “Huh? Me?” The pegasus brought her hoof to her chest. “Hey, I’m not the one who decided to go swimming during a scheduled freeze!”
Cheerilee wrapped the quilt around herself more tightly. She’d been rubbing her frozen skin for twenty minutes now, but it didn’t seem to be helping. “It’s the m-middle of s-summer! W-why would anypony think w-we were in for f-f-freezing temperatures?”
“Well, it’s not the weather team’s fault that ponies don’t check the paper. It’s right there every day.” Reaching into her saddlebag, Rainbow pulled out a piece of parchment. “Same report we get, and today it called for ice weather at the pond.”
“W-what do you m-mean ‘ice weather’?” Cheerilee held out her hoof. “C-can I s-see that?”
“Suit yourself,” Rainbow said, handing the paper over with a shrug.
Ugh. I’m shivering so badly that I can’t even read this. Inching closer to the fire, Cheerilee forced her hooves to stop trembling for a moment.
Ponyville local weather:
Clear, with warm temperatures. Southwesterly breezes - three to eight knots. The Mayor has requested ice weather at the pond to facilitate a variety of outdoor functions, so please make that a focus.
Weather Coordinator Zephyr
Cheerilee rested her head in her hoof. “Nice w-weather, Rainbow!”
The pegasus puffed out her chest. “I know, right? My team’s really been on fire lately! Last month, we took the department’s award for Most Efficient, and we’re—”
“No, I mean it was supposed to be ‘nice weather’!”
“Huh?” Rainbow trotted over and plucked the paper from Cheerilee’s hoof. Grimacing, Rainbow’s eyes scanned the page rapidly. “Uh, I don’t really see where you’re getting that.”
“It’s right here!” Cheerilee said, jumping up and tapping the paper.
Rainbow frowned. “Yeah, like I said before, it says ‘ice weather.’ Jeez, Cheerilee, for a teacher, you’re kinda—”
“It’s a typo!” Cheerilee said, throwing her blanket to the ground as her temper flared. “It’s clearly supposed to say ‘nice weather at the pond’.”
Rainbow sighed. “Look, Cheerilee,” she said with forced patience, “I don’t know how it works at the school, but on the weather team, we follow orders. The weather’s not some sort of thing that just happens. It takes planning and finesse. You don’t just get your orders for the day and say to yourself, ‘well, it calls for snow but I think I’d like a dust storm instead.’ It might be all good in your class to swap out for reading time if you don’t feel like hoof painting or teaching fractions or something, but we’ve got an ecosystem to think about.”
Cheerilee slapped a hoof over her face. “Rainbow, your team’s been flying frozen ponies out of the lake for the last half an hour! Why do you think that is?”
The pegasus threw her hooves up. “’Cause nopony reads the weather report like they’re supposed to! I mean, you don’t even know the number of times that Rarity has chewed me out because her mane got all messed up when it rained.”
Cheerilee wrapped her blanket around herself again when Flitter came in for a landing. The air was still frigid, and as the pegasus flapped to slow her descent, Cheerilee was buffeted by an arctic-cold blast. Beside her, Caramel moaned pitifully.
“All the ponies have been pulled from the water,” Flitter said, saluting. “We’ve sent word to the hospital, and they said that unicorns with warming spells should be arriving any second.”
Rainbow rolled her eyes. “For the millionth time, you don’t have to salute. This isn’t the military.”
Flitter sagged. “Aw, but—”
“Look, I really don’t think this is the time!” Cheerilee said, stoking up her fire again. “Why don’t you guys just fly these ponies over to the hospital?” She pointed to where Caramel sat, hunched miserably in his blankets. Only his brilliantly red nose was visible. “Starting with him. He’s half dead because you pegasi can’t figure out context!”
Rainbow stomped forward, her lower jaw jutting out. “Whoa, whoa, whoa! Let’s get one thing straight. My weather team did their job, and they did it well!”
Beside her, Flitter nodded.
“I don’t have the pony-power to fly all you guys to the hospital!” Rainbow continued. “Three quarters of my team is still up there funneling down all the cold air. I don’t know how many pegasi you think—”
Cheerilee’s eyes flew wide. “You mean you’re still freezing the pond?”
“Well, yeah!” Rainbow replied, cocking her head to the side and staring at the teacher as though she’d lost her mind. “We had to warm it up so the ice would break. Otherwise we couldn’t’ve gotten you guys out. Now we’ll have to work overtime to get it frozen again! It’s a big pain in our tails, and it would be nice to get a little appreciation! I mean, I’m not asking for a medal, though we probably deserve one after all we’ve been through today, but some credit would be nice.”
Rainbow paced and threw the teacher an irritated glance. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep the weather in Ponyville warm while just freezing the lake? I had ponies up all night trying to figure it out. It’s almost impossible!” Rainbow shined a hoof on her chest. “Almost, but not quite. Not only did we do it, we froze that lake in record time! That’s why they give these hard jobs to the best—Uh oh!”
Cheerilee looked over her shoulder as Rainbow pointed to something behind her. Mayor Mare, Twilight Sparkle, and Zephyr had just crested a nearby hill and were galloping straight for them, their faces grim.
“Whoa! They sure do look mad," Rainbow said, fixing Cheerilee with a pointed stare. “Looks like some ponies are in trouble! I’d hate to be you guys. The mayor’s probably going to sentence you all to safety classes or something.”
Rolling her eyes, Cheerilee sat down next to Caramel again. He was still shivering violently. Cheerilee wrapped herself around him and tried to provide at least a little more warmth. Resting her head against his shoulder, her eyes fell to the picnic basket beside him, still covered in several inches of ice. “You probably can’t hear me, but I just wanted you to know that I’m no fair weather mare,” she whispered, giving his frosty cheek a quick peck. “Next time for sure, big guy.”
Rainbow....Do you need those glasses?
Oh, Rainbow Dash.
4568039 Thanks for pointing that out. I'll go fix it.
And I'm glad you're liking it!
4580866 Nice FiW reference.
4580866
4580906 Ha! I totally forgot she's half blind in that series!
Um, Dashie? You might want to consider omitting this little incident from your record when you sign up for the Wonderbolt Academy later on down the line. Just a thought.
I'm guessing this is the first time this kind of mix-up has happened since Rainbow Dash started working at the Weather Factory, which is why she didn't suspect anything wrong. Still, though. Pretty embarrassing for a pony who mentally catalogues everything she sees when she flies to let her obliviousness get the better of her like this.
4580947 She's not oblivious! It was right there in black and white, clear as day. Clear as ice. Clear as a winter morning. Rainbow's just following instructions.
Rainbow Dash needs remedial reading classes.
4580955 I actually don't update this as often as I'd like to. I try and make room for other writing, But terrible stuff that can happen to Cheerilee kind of takes over my mind sometimes.
Plus, I just have less time to write than I used to. So many ideas. So little time.
If this doesn't eventually end in CaraLee, you're a monster.
4580961 That's not what she would tell you. She'd say that Zephyr needs someone to copy-edit her stuff before it goes out!
4580968 We will see, but if it doesn't, I think 4580947 is going to give me a very stern talking to.
Loooooooooooooooooooooooooooolllllllllllllllllzor. That was great.
4580976
Yes, all the Cheerimel is seriously interfering with my Cheerilee/Twilight preferences.
I'll do it! I'll write another dozen awkward Twilight dates! Don't think I won't! Speaking of, when's the next one going up?
4581047
Do it! Write another chapter or ten!
4580968
4580976 Hey, what can I say? I'm usually a bit of a stickler when it comes to canon. I want to see Cheerilee and Caramel together just as much as the next guy (at least in the context of this story), but as the Hearts and Hooves Day episode indicates, it's just not gonna happen. Especially since the whole point of this story is to explain in excruciating detail why Cheerilee doesn't have a special somepony for that particular Hearts and Hooves Day.
4581066
I've got one in the hopper already and two more knocking around in my head, actually
Dash needs to learn to look before she leaps.
4581068 All it means is that I'd have to write a Caramel date after Hearts and Hooves Day...
4581188 Mmm. Touché.
4580968
4581047 Woo! I'm messing with people's preferred pairings! That's leveling up, isn't it?
4580981 Thanks. This idea made me crack up when I thought of it earlier. Rainbow's stubbornness was hilarious in my mind's eye.
You know what, I'm fully on Dash's side here. The instructions said ice weather and she and her team went above and beyond the call of duty to arrange it. If the mayor want nice weather she should have proofed the instructions a bit better.
4581322 Oh, I'm with you. I like things to be nuanced. The fault there is spread around several ponies. Rainbow's a dunderhead for not figuring out the error. The mayor is a bit at fault for not proof-reading. Zephyr shares some blame for not catching it.
Cheerilee, of course, is not at fault, and that's why she's going to pay the price!
For the sake of completeness, here's a list of other things Rainbow could have done to that lake if she was being even more acronym-istic*. http://www.acronymfinder.com/ICE.html
* Yes, that pun is bad and I feel bad
4581528 Look, you. We don't need to help that poor, befuddled pegasus dig her grave any deeper!
I think someday Caramel is going to marry Cheerilee... posthumously.
Wow, I don't even like Caramel usually, and I find myself rooting for him. You're gooood. Still, he and Sassafras during hearts and hooves day... Oh no!
4581322
I'm totally with this fellow here. I mean, yeah, it was a mistake but think about the sheer dedication to the craft she demonstrated. Yeah, a lot of ponies got into a bit of a fix, but if you ask me that fault lies solely with Zephyr. Given that they work with ice, it would have obviously been much better to say something like "clear weather" or "fair weather" or something. Saying "Nice weather" is just asking for this typo to happen, and if you're going to say it you better damn well proofread your orders.
It had to be done.
4581969 Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to join in holy matrimony this mare, Cheerilee, with this battered and mummified corpse...
4582080 Everyone is so concerned with that moment, but they forget that Cheerilee is dating all kinds of ponies, too. Just because Caramel is seeing another pony doesn't mean he's completely taken. Cheerilee can't have Caramel or any other pony until after Hearts and Hooves Day so there is still lot of room for me to write a successful Caramel/Cheerilee date for chapter one thousand and two.
Or maybe I'll have Caramel just move on. Who knows? I guess you guys will just have to keep reading…
4582231 That's the problem with being the low mare on the totem pole. Dashie is totally gonna get it. It's nothing but low-level cloud busting for a month now.
4582444 Ooh, that one actually made me groan. Good job!
4583459 Oh, yes it was! When you skate out of control through a sophisticated lobby full of important ponies after making their children cry and pulling down a chandelier, only to get a french horn stuck on your hoof and slam into one of Equestria's biggest stars, photographed at all angles to be plastered on all of the gossip pages, well, that's a total disaster! And a really long sentence!
See, just because Fancy Pants would be understanding doesn't mean that Cheerilee wouldn't be to mortified to continue.
However, I'm with you that, while the night is ruining, Fancy Pants would totally be willing to laugh it off and give Cheerilee another shot. I'm planning on having more Fancy Pants in the future sometime. He's my favorite stallion.
4583985 I had to really control myself not to put an "Ice to meet you" in there somewhere.
Poor Rainbow! She's going to get such an incredible shock. I have no doubt whatsoever that the rest of the Mane Six will be listening to her complaints about how unjustly she and her team have been treated ("We've had our pay for the day docked when all we did was obey orders! And what the hay is 'remedial communications skills training' anyway?") for the rest of the week.
Yay Caramel. We got your back, even if fate does not. How about another go champ.
I can sympathize with Dash here.
I work in a position in an industry that is heavily regulated by the political powers that be. We live to serve The Process. You will follow the Process. You will obey the Process. You will not deviate from the Process.
Violations will bring down the wrath of the Old Testament gods of FIPS, HIPPA, SA70, and SOX
The Process be praised!
I would honestly love a transcript of the conversation which took place between Rainbow Dash, Twilight, Zephyr and Mayor Mare afterwards.
If it wasn't for the entire premise of the series and the fact his bits may have been frozen off, I'd say Caramel was in with chance there!
4592062 Caramel is a trooper. I don't see him giving up anytime soon, frozen bits or no.
4592044 I'd say there was a lot of hoof-pointing. A LOT!
4585940 Not to mention how much this is all biting into Rainbow's beloved nap time.
4590489 Once his case of frostbite is taken care of, he'll be ready for round six.
4596698 Thank you for pointing those errors out. I've gone in and fixed them up.
Glad to hear you are enjoying the series. This one is majorly fun for me to write. Too fun, really. I spend too much time on it at the expense of my other stuff.
4598823 That's my favorite chapter!
4600646 Well, thanks! That's a pretty massive statement!
4603770 Oh, yeah. Don't let your teacher know you're reading a story about inflicting misery onto a teacher. That can't be good for your GPA.