• Published 15th Nov 2013
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Cheerilee's Thousand - xjuggernaughtx



Cheerilee goes on one thousand terrible dates.

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Date Forty-Two - The Cold Shoulder

Cheerilee wound a second scarf around Caramel’s neck, and then threw another blanket over him. “Is that b-better?”

Shivering violently, Caramel didn’t seem to hear her. His blank, wide-eyed stare was fixed on Ponyville’s frozen pond, which was currently surrounded by a small army of harried pegasi and hypothermic earth ponies and unicorns.

Cheerilee stroked his mane, picking out the small bits of ice she kept finding. I’d be surprised if he can hear anything at all over the sound of his teeth chattering. Retrieving her charred stick, she tried to bring some life back to the dwindling fire. She’d barely managed to get it going in the first place, and even though they were both nearly sitting in it, the fire offered little warmth. Pursing her lips, she glared over her shoulder. “I s-suppose you h-have a g-good explanation!”

Rainbow’s brow furrowed. “Huh? Me?” The pegasus brought her hoof to her chest. “Hey, I’m not the one who decided to go swimming during a scheduled freeze!”

Cheerilee wrapped the quilt around herself more tightly. She’d been rubbing her frozen skin for twenty minutes now, but it didn’t seem to be helping. “It’s the m-middle of s-summer! W-why would anypony think w-we were in for f-f-freezing temperatures?”

“Well, it’s not the weather team’s fault that ponies don’t check the paper. It’s right there every day.” Reaching into her saddlebag, Rainbow pulled out a piece of parchment. “Same report we get, and today it called for ice weather at the pond.”

“W-what do you m-mean ‘ice weather’?” Cheerilee held out her hoof. “C-can I s-see that?”

“Suit yourself,” Rainbow said, handing the paper over with a shrug.

Ugh. I’m shivering so badly that I can’t even read this. Inching closer to the fire, Cheerilee forced her hooves to stop trembling for a moment.

Ponyville local weather:

Clear, with warm temperatures. Southwesterly breezes - three to eight knots. The Mayor has requested ice weather at the pond to facilitate a variety of outdoor functions, so please make that a focus.

Weather Coordinator Zephyr

Cheerilee rested her head in her hoof. “Nice w-weather, Rainbow!”

The pegasus puffed out her chest. “I know, right? My team’s really been on fire lately! Last month, we took the department’s award for Most Efficient, and we’re—”

“No, I mean it was supposed to be ‘nice weather’!”

“Huh?” Rainbow trotted over and plucked the paper from Cheerilee’s hoof. Grimacing, Rainbow’s eyes scanned the page rapidly. “Uh, I don’t really see where you’re getting that.”

“It’s right here!” Cheerilee said, jumping up and tapping the paper.

Rainbow frowned. “Yeah, like I said before, it says ‘ice weather.’ Jeez, Cheerilee, for a teacher, you’re kinda—”

“It’s a typo!” Cheerilee said, throwing her blanket to the ground as her temper flared. “It’s clearly supposed to say ‘nice weather at the pond’.”

Rainbow sighed. “Look, Cheerilee,” she said with forced patience, “I don’t know how it works at the school, but on the weather team, we follow orders. The weather’s not some sort of thing that just happens. It takes planning and finesse. You don’t just get your orders for the day and say to yourself, ‘well, it calls for snow but I think I’d like a dust storm instead.’ It might be all good in your class to swap out for reading time if you don’t feel like hoof painting or teaching fractions or something, but we’ve got an ecosystem to think about.”

Cheerilee slapped a hoof over her face. “Rainbow, your team’s been flying frozen ponies out of the lake for the last half an hour! Why do you think that is?”

The pegasus threw her hooves up. “’Cause nopony reads the weather report like they’re supposed to! I mean, you don’t even know the number of times that Rarity has chewed me out because her mane got all messed up when it rained.”

Cheerilee wrapped her blanket around herself again when Flitter came in for a landing. The air was still frigid, and as the pegasus flapped to slow her descent, Cheerilee was buffeted by an arctic-cold blast. Beside her, Caramel moaned pitifully.

“All the ponies have been pulled from the water,” Flitter said, saluting. “We’ve sent word to the hospital, and they said that unicorns with warming spells should be arriving any second.”

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “For the millionth time, you don’t have to salute. This isn’t the military.”

Flitter sagged. “Aw, but—”

“Look, I really don’t think this is the time!” Cheerilee said, stoking up her fire again. “Why don’t you guys just fly these ponies over to the hospital?” She pointed to where Caramel sat, hunched miserably in his blankets. Only his brilliantly red nose was visible. “Starting with him. He’s half dead because you pegasi can’t figure out context!”

Rainbow stomped forward, her lower jaw jutting out. “Whoa, whoa, whoa! Let’s get one thing straight. My weather team did their job, and they did it well!

Beside her, Flitter nodded.

“I don’t have the pony-power to fly all you guys to the hospital!” Rainbow continued. “Three quarters of my team is still up there funneling down all the cold air. I don’t know how many pegasi you think—”

Cheerilee’s eyes flew wide. “You mean you’re still freezing the pond?”

“Well, yeah!” Rainbow replied, cocking her head to the side and staring at the teacher as though she’d lost her mind. “We had to warm it up so the ice would break. Otherwise we couldn’t’ve gotten you guys out. Now we’ll have to work overtime to get it frozen again! It’s a big pain in our tails, and it would be nice to get a little appreciation! I mean, I’m not asking for a medal, though we probably deserve one after all we’ve been through today, but some credit would be nice.”

Rainbow paced and threw the teacher an irritated glance. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep the weather in Ponyville warm while just freezing the lake? I had ponies up all night trying to figure it out. It’s almost impossible!” Rainbow shined a hoof on her chest. “Almost, but not quite. Not only did we do it, we froze that lake in record time! That’s why they give these hard jobs to the best—Uh oh!”

Cheerilee looked over her shoulder as Rainbow pointed to something behind her. Mayor Mare, Twilight Sparkle, and Zephyr had just crested a nearby hill and were galloping straight for them, their faces grim.

“Whoa! They sure do look mad," Rainbow said, fixing Cheerilee with a pointed stare. “Looks like some ponies are in trouble! I’d hate to be you guys. The mayor’s probably going to sentence you all to safety classes or something.”

Rolling her eyes, Cheerilee sat down next to Caramel again. He was still shivering violently. Cheerilee wrapped herself around him and tried to provide at least a little more warmth. Resting her head against his shoulder, her eyes fell to the picnic basket beside him, still covered in several inches of ice. “You probably can’t hear me, but I just wanted you to know that I’m no fair weather mare,” she whispered, giving his frosty cheek a quick peck. “Next time for sure, big guy.”

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