• Published 6th Nov 2013
  • 3,602 Views, 39 Comments

Carry On - Viking ZX



Sometimes the hardest thing to do isn't completing the mission, it's coming home again. For Dusk Guard member Sky Bolt, the mission was a complete success. Everything went perfectly. So why can't she sleep?

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Awake

Awake

Tired.

Sky Bolt slumped against her workbench, hanging her head so close to the wood she could trace the grain with her eyes. There was a dull thump as she slipped a bit lower, her forehead colliding with the smooth surface. The urge to let out a groan rose as the small bit of pain flared across her forehead.

Can’t sleep. Don’t want to. She rolled her head to the side, parchment crinkling underneath her ear, her eyes searching for the clock, taking a moment to focus in on the time.

One in the morning, she thought, watching the small, metal, minute hand slide along the clock face. I’m so tired but … I don’t want to sleep.

She’d tried. She’d definitely tried. After her meeting with the Princess, she’d blundered through the rest of the day without any major problems aside from a slight lack of focus, and then she’d gone to bed.

But she hadn’t gone to sleep. She’d lain there for an hour, sheets wrapped around her, trying to keep her breathing steady and her mind focused on sleeping. Every time she let her mind wander, every time she closed her eyes, she could see the golems reaching for her, grasping.

She shut her eyes, taking a steadying breath as a shudder worked its way through her again. She had to focus, had to keep her mind on other things. Once she started thinking about the golems—or worse—the mission, that was when it got hard to breath. Then the shaking started, and the pounding, and the—

She pushed herself back up, shaking her head. No time to think about it, she thought. I can’t let myself think about it. I can’t. She gave her head another shake. I’m just tired, and I need to get my mind on something else before I can get some sleep. That’s all. She looked back down at the parchment sitting in front of her, its edges surprisingly unwrinkled where her head had rolled across it. Random scrawls crisscrossed the paper, penmanship so sloppy she very nearly had trouble reading it herself.

Still, her growing inability to write aside, the ideas weren’t that bad. In fact, the more she looked at them, the more she liked them. There would need to be some fine-tuning to actually test them, and she’d probably have to work with the enchanters themselves to see what sort of spells would work with the array system she’d invented … unless there was a way to speed that process up as well. Her eyes darted over to the array.

Maybe I could make something temporary, she thought, her eyes narrowing, both ears folding flat against her head as her mind began picking up speed. Something to mimic the natural crystal formation used to store the spells that could allow a temporary matrix to form so that reaction-based magic could be tested and—

Something clattered behind her and she froze, her ears snapping straight up. She waited, holding her breath as her ears swiveled left and right, searching for the sound. Nothing.

Then there was another, softer clatter. Sky Bolt spun on her seat, her chest already constricting. Her eyes darted around the wide workshop, searching the dim light for some sign of whatever was making the elusive noise.

Another clatter. She frowned as she slid off of her seat, one hoof grasping for something she could use to defend herself and coming up with a pipe wrench. She glanced at it, feeling the heft of the heavy metal as she gave it a quick shake.

The clatter started up again, and she twisted her ears, searching for the origin of the strange noise. There, she thought as the noise cut out, her eyes settling on a cloth covered workbench across the workshop. That’s where it’s coming from.

She took a hesitant step towards the sound as it started up again. The large distance between her and the bench seemed to melt away in a few small steps, and she found herself standing over the workbench, looking down at the cloth covered object as the noise started up once more.

It sounds like … Like gears slipping against one another, she thought, raising the wrench in one hoof. Her breath was coming quicker now, its short staccato blending with the rapid clicks coming from under the cloth. She leaned back, raising the wrench above her head as she reached for the cloth covering and—

A tremendous bang filled the workshop. Sky Bolt spun as the doors to the workshop rebounded from the wall, stopping just shy of cutting off the dark shape standing in the doorframe. Sky Bolt gripped her wrench tighter in one hoof, her heart pounding as the doors slowed and the stopped. The shape behind them paused for a moment, its features concealed by the darkness of the hallway, but then it stepped forward into the workshop, loud clops echoing with each slow, steady step. For a moment the darkness seemed to move with the shape, stretching and twisting around it as if a tangible surface. Then the darkness was gone, melting back into the hallway as it retreated, and Sky Bolt almost dropped her wrench in surprise as the shape became clear.

“Princess Luna?” she asked as the tall, regal form of the Lunar Diarch stepped into view, her dark blue coat seeming to almost glow with inner light.

“Young Sky Bolt,” the Princess said, giving her a calming nod. “Whatever are you doing with that tool?”

“Oh, this?” Sky Bolt said, suddenly aware of the fact that she probably looked as terrible as she felt. “I, uh … saw a mouse, your highness. I was chasing it out.” Luna’s eyebrows rose, and she scrambled for something to say. “So, uh, are you here to see my array?” Luna’s face took on a more puzzled expression. “The one Princess Celestia saw this morning?” Sky Bolt prompted. “She said you’d want to see it, although I kind of figured you’d be here earlier than this…” The wrench made a soft thunk as she set it down on the empty workbench, her cheeks burning with embarrassment. At least her mane was free of grease.

“My apologies,” Princess Luna said. She began to walk across the workshop, her head held high, wings folded at her sides. As she threaded her way through the workspace, Sky Bolt could see her eyes glance downward at the various pieces of parchment and half-assembled parts that littered the desks in her path.

“Well, it’s alright,” Sky Bolt said. Princess Luna came to a stop a few feet away, and Sky Bolt gave a quick bow. “I can still show it to you if you’d like. I was up anyway.”

“So I see,” Luna said, her eyes running around the room. “Unfortunately, Sky Bolt, I’m afraid that it would do little good to show me your array here, fascinating as it sounds.”

“But … my design—”

“It is not that we do not wish to see your design, Sky Bolt,” Luna said, sitting. “Nor do we wish to alarm you with our sudden refusal of your offer.” Her voice began to soften, and Sky Bolt felt her momentary flash of panic began to fade. “But more to do with where we are, and the fact that you have already shown me your array this evening.”

“I—I have?” Sky Bolt sat back in confusion, her head spinning. “I did?”

“Yes, my little pony,” Luna said, her voice soft. “You already did, and I was most impressed with it. You truly have been granted a gifted mind to be able to create such things, but…” She paused for a moment. “Try to remember, Sky Bolt,” she said, her voice soft. “I met with you earlier this evening after I had arisen. We discussed your invention as well as its possible applications.”

“I…” Sky Bolt thought back, running over the events of her evening. “You’re … you’re right!” she said, looking up in surprise. The room seemed to brighten slightly around her, dark corners fading as her mind cleared. “We did meet! And I showed it to you!” She frowned. “So why didn’t I remember it?”

“You did remember it,” Luna said. The Lunar Diarch gave her head a shake, stars shifting inside her mane as she turned her eye towards one of the workbenches. A scrap of parchment lifted from it, floating over towards Luna in a gentle blue glow. “These notes you have written here,” Luna said, passing the note to Sky Bolt. “These are some of the ideas that we discussed together.”

Something seemed to fall into place in her mind as she looked down at the parchment, images flashing through her mind. She could remember it now. The ideas they’d discussed, the spells that Luna had suggested for use with her system. She could remember the whole event. The discussion, the ideas, her going to bed after the Princess had gone, being unable to sleep, coming back to the workshop…

“But then, if we already did talk about my array, then what are you doing here now?” she asked, looking up.

“Helping,” Luna said, her voice calm. “Sky Bolt, you were not chasing a mouse when I came in, were you?”

“I…” She looked up at the Princess, feeling her face fall. “No. No, I wasn’t.”

“What then were you pursuing?” the Princess asked, her voice serene.

“I’d rather not talk about it,” Sky Bolt said, glancing away from Luna’s gaze. “It’s nothing, just a stupid—”

“It is not nothing,” Luna said, her voice stern. Sky Bolt flinched as a cold wind rushed through the shop, sweeping across the workbenches and ruffling her mane. “It is not nothing,” she said again, her voice softer. “Nor is it foolish. Look around you, young Sky Bolt,” she said, tossing her head. “Look around at your workshop, and tell me what you see.”

“I—”

“Look,” Princess Luna said. “I promise, no harm will come to you.” She raised a silver clad hoof, pointed at a nearby workbench. Sky Bolt looked.

A golem stared back at her, its crystal eye cold and inert. Sky Bolt recoiled in shock as she took in its broken arms, its lack of legs. It was just sitting there, its cold, dead eye facing right at her.

“But how did it—” she stammered. She could feel her chest constricting again, her breath coming in shorter and shorter gasps. “How did that get into my workshop?”

“Look, Sky Bolt.” The Princess pointed once more and Sky Bolt followed her hoof. Once again her eyes came to rest on another inactive golem, and once again her breath caught in her throat as she saw its single outstretched hand reaching for her.

“But…” she said, backing up as Luna’s hoof pointed to a third workbench. A third golem, this one frozen while trying to crawl towards her. Luna’s hoof moved again, and again, jumping from desk to desk, golem after golem coming to Sky Bolt’s attention. “This isn’t possible,” she muttered, pushing herself back. “Where did they come from? What are they doing in my workshop!” She could hear her voice rising in her ears; feel her limbs trembling underneath her.

“There is more, Sky Bolt,” Luna said, her horn lighting up in a blue glow. Parchment lifted from an empty desk, floating into Luna’s waiting hoof. “These are not your notes, I would assume,” she said, flipping the parchment around.

Sky Bolt let out a cry of terror. Mint Tam’s face stared up at her from a newspaper, the headline proclaiming her success at killing the members of the Dusk Guard. She shoved herself backwards, her backside slamming into the desk at her back with a bang. She could see the room growing dim around her, hear the faint clicking of gears as the Golems began to activate.

“How—no—this isn’t—why is that in my shop! What happened to my shop?”

“Please, Sky Bolt,” Luna said, dropping the newspaper from her hoof and taking a step forward. “I am trying to help you. We are not in your workshop, and nothing here can harm you.”

“Then where are we?!” Sky Bolt asked as the clicking began to grow, the noise growing louder. She could feel the eyes of the golems on her now. Hungry. Eager.

Enough!” Luna’s voice erupted like a thunderbolt, tearing through the workshop. Sky Bolt saw rather than felt the Princess’s voice rip through the room, watched as is swept over benches and golems alike, sucking away color and motion until the entire room was a blank, motionless, grey.

“I—” Sky Bolt held a hoof to her head as the Princess looked back down at her. “I … this…” She took another look at her—no, not her—workshop. “This isn’t real is it?”

“It is as real as you want it to be, young Sky Bolt,” Luna said. “You are experiencing a nightmare of your own inner fears and creations.”

“So you’re not real either?”

The Princess shook her head. “No, I am quite real, whether or not you desire me to be. But everything you see around you is a product of your own mind.”

“I’m asleep, aren’t I?” Sky Bolt asked, her mind catching up with her situation.

“Yes,” Luna said with a nod. She gestured at the frozen golems. “These fears are your own, and I suspect they may have much to do with why you have slept so little in the last few days.”

“Can you do something?” Sky Bolt asked. She shrunk in on herself, wrapping her wings around her body as she began to shake. She was cold now, her body shaking like a steam engine that had stripped a gear. “Something to help me sleep?”

“I can give you a way,” Luna said, kneeling down in front of her. “Although in the end, it is up to you to follow that way.” She bent in close, her eyes coming to a stop just inches from Sky Bolt’s own.

“Do not hide from your fears.”

“But—”

“I cannot simply make your problems go away, Sky Bolt,” Luna said. The Princess began to pull away, spreading her wings as she lifted into the air. “All I can do is point you on the right path.”

“But I already faced my fears!” Sky Bolt protested. The world around her began to splinter and crack, splitting apart around her as Luna faded from view. A furious rushing filled her ears, like she was spinning in one of her own air compressors, but she could still hear Luna’s response.

“You face an image of your fears, Sky Bolt. A distraction. You must face the cause!”

Then the world exploded around her, breaking apart into slivers of her workshop that seemed both real and flat at the same time. They spun around her, both real and fake, tangible and not. The roar in her ears intensified blocking out everything but a single, clear voice. Her own voice, echoing around her as she curled as tightly as she could, clenching her eyes shut.

“I don’t … I don’t think I can—”

* * *

Sky Bolt’s eyes snapped open. She let out a gasp, pushing herself up as the world came back in force, and then let out a startled squeak as her stool toppled back underneath her. Pain blossomed along her side as she fell to the floor, scraping her coat.

For a moment she chose to lay there, her mind spinning. Did I really just dream that? She blinked as her eyes adjusted to the low light of the workshop, the vague shapes and colors refining themselves into features of her workshop—her real workshop—around her. I’ve never dreamed anything like that before. It was … bizarre…

Sky Bolt let out a sigh as she laid her head back down on the floor, feeling its coolness penetrate through her mane. Her eyes felt like they were full of sawdust from a long day of woodwork, her mouth too, and she grimaced as she dragged her tongue along the roof, feeling the dry, gritty texture.

There was cold too. Her body was quivering as the concrete started to burn underneath her, the formerly pleasant coolness turning into a harsh cut across her coat. A twinge of pain made its way across her side as she rolled onto her hooves, pushing herself up.

The parchment she had been scribbling on when she’d dozed off was still sitting in the same place on her workbench, its surface slightly crumpled where her head had rested on it. There was a damp spot on it as well, and she grimaced as she realized that she’d been drooling in her sleep. Luckily no one was around to see that, she thought as she rubbed at it with her hoof. The last thing I need is someone pointing that fact out.

It only took a moment to right the small wooden stool she’d been sitting on, and then she was back in front of her parchment, staring down at the faint scribbles. At first they were reasonably elegant, the curves and angles of the letters only somewhat distorted by her lack of sleep. But then they became more jagged and outrageous, clean lines distorting into meandering, snakelike shapes. The last few “lines” could barely even be identified as such, a dark smudge having spread them into distorted blots of ink. Sky Bolt let out a groan as she touched her hoof to her cheek, realizing exactly what it had been that had smushed itself against the ink while it had still been damp.

Great, now not only am I a complete mess, I’ve definitely got a huge inkblot on my cheek. She tugged her hoof away, clapping it down on the desk with a loud clop. One more thing to worry about. Like that dream. A shudder worked its way down her spine as the dream flashed back into her mind. It had been so … so real. She’d never had a dream that had been so clear, or so—another shudder ran through her—cutting. If not for the fact that she’d been asleep, she could have sworn she was actually speaking to the real Princess herself.

“Dreams are weird,” she said quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. Especially that one, her mind shot back. The clock on the wall read a few minutes past midnight now, a time that seemed much more reasonable now that she was awake.

Assuming I am awake, she thought, suppressing an urge to look around and check nearby surfaces for golem parts. If that really was Luna, and I’m not admitting it was, but if it was, then I’m not sure giving me such a vivid dream is the right way to help me calm down.

Then again, she reflected, the Princess’s words hadn’t quite been to calm down. They’d been something else. Something … not about facing what scared her in the dream, but facing the cause? Whatever that was?

“I’m just tired,” she said to herself, a little too quickly. “Right?” A tangle of images and thoughts wove through her mind, mixing and twisting around one another as they fought for attention. Projects, plans, ponies she knew. Golems. Things she didn’t want to think about.

“I’m just tired,” she said again, a little more forcefully. Tools on the workbench rattled as she brought her hoof down a little harder than she’d intended. Her words didn’t even sound sincere to her own ears anymore.

“I’ll say you are.”

Sky Bolt shoved herself back from her desk in surprise as the voice echoed through the workshop. She spread her wings, bringing her front hooves up in a defensive stance just as Hunter had taught her … and for the second time in as many minutes her stool caught her back legs, toppling over and pulling her down with it.

“Whoah!” a voice called over the ringing in her head. “Are you alright?” Hoofsteps began echoing through the workshop as somepony moved across the shop, and a shape moved into view, stopping a few feet away. “I really didn’t mean to scare you.” Sky Bolt rolled her eyes as she recognized the voice.

“Right, Nova,” she said, pushing herself up on one hoof. The stool rattled as she pulled her rear leg against it, her hoof caught in its legs. “Why else would you be sneaking around?”

“No, I mean it,” he said, stepping forward out of the shadows that blended so well with his dark purple coat. “Here,” he said, grasping the stool with his front hooves. She gave her hoof a quick tug, pulling it free and giving it a little shake.

“Thanks,” she said, giving him a dry look as she stood up. “Although seeing as you scared me in the first place—”

“It wasn’t on purpose,” Nova said quickly. There was a soft shriek of wood as he pushed the stool back over to its place by the desk. “I really wasn’t trying to scare you.”

“Right,” Sky Bolt said. She fixed him with a glare. “Then why didn’t you at least knock?”

“I did,” Nova said, one eyebrow rising. “And then I said ‘hello’ a few times too.” He took a step closer to her, his eyes narrowing as he looked at her. “Are you alright? You didn’t hit your head, did you?”

“I—” She bit back an angry retort. “I … no, I’m fine,” she said. “At least, my head is fine. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap. I’m just…”

“Tired?” Nova supplied after a moment. She nodded and closed her eyes, letting out a sigh. For a moment the workshop was silent. Then Nova spoke up.

“Well,” he said, “I just came in here because I thought I heard something. I guess it was you.” He shrugged and gave his head a toss, his mane parting around his horn. “I guess I’ll leave you to it. Sorry for, uh … Sorry for scaring you.” He turned, his hooves making soft clicks on the concrete as he headed for the door.

Face the cause.

“Nova, wait.” She stepped forward as the purple unicorn came to a stop. “I was … I…” She sat down with a sigh on the recently righted stool, one hoof rubbing against her forehead. “I’m not alright.”

Nova frowned. “Not if you’re giving me straight lines like that,” he said, turning and trotting back towards her.

“I’m serious,” she snapped. His ears flattened at the harsh tone in her words, and guilt bubbled up inside her. “See?” she said, shaking her head. “That’s not me. I’m sorry.”

‘It’s ... fine,” Nova said, the corner of his mouth turning up in a small smirk. “As often as I dish it out, it’s only fair I be able to take it, right?”

“Yeah, but that’s different,” she said as he came to a stop across the workbench from her. “I mean, you make jokes and I snapped and—and that’s not even the point!”

“Well, what is your point?” Nova asked. For once she couldn’t hear a trace of mockery in his tone. And his expression. It was straightforward. Serious.

“My point is…” She dropped her head into her hooves, letting out another groan. “I don’t even know what my point is. I’m having trouble sleeping, I keep freaking out every time I think of … of what we did a few days ago—”

“You mean the mission at the—”

"Yes!” she said, cutting him off before he could even mention the name of the building. “Sorry, I just…” She fought back a shiver as her leg started to tremble. “I start thinking about it, and about everything else and…” She closed her eyes, squeezing them shut. “Let me start over.”

“No, I think I’ve got it,” Nova said, his normally sardonic tone completely absent. “You can’t stop thinking about it, can you? And then when you do think about it, it just seems like all you can think about?” There was a soft tone to his voice, something she’d never heard from him before. “It’s why you can’t sleep, isn’t it?”

“I … Maybe. I don’t know.” She took a deep breath as her trembling faded and opened her eyes. Nova was still standing across from her. “At first I thought it was just nightmares. You know, just me being scared. Which is stupid,” she said with a shake of her head, “I know. We beat those stupid golems. We beat that stupid mare too. But for some reason, I just can’t … shake it. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

“I—I don’t know,” Nova said, giving her what looked like an apologetic shrug. “I mean, yeah, I’ve had a few nasty nightmares about some close calls before, but never so bad that I couldn’t get sleep. What you’re talking about, it almost sounds like…” he paused, his forehead creasing under his horn. Then he looked up. “Are you really afraid of the golems? Or is it something else?”

Sky Bolt felt her heart jerk at the question. “What do you mean?” Her leg was starting to tremble again, and she could feel her chest tightening.

“I mean, come on,” Nova said, rolling his head. “Yeah, that mission was scary, but we took out how many golems? You took out a quite a few yourself—”

“Only because my armor worked,” she said, surprised at how quiet her own voice was. She could feel her shoulders shaking now, a quiver of motion spreading down her sides and across her flanks. She tried to cut it off, tighten down the muscles so the shaking would stop, but it wouldn’t stop. “What if it hadn’t worked?”

“But it did—”

“Well what if it didn’t?” Sky Bolt yelled, her own eyes widening as she shouted. “What if it stops working next time, or something else I built goes wrong? What if my calculations are off, and because of me, somepony gets hurt?” She kept shouting, her body shaking harder and harder. “What if somepony dies because of me, Nova? What if one of us goes out there, up against Mint or Radiant or somepony else just as crazy, and something that was my responsibility gets somepony killed? What do I do then?” Her breath was coming in hot ragged gasps, her vision blurring as tears streamed from her eyes. “What if I die? Or if I have to kill somepony! You saw that building when it collapsed! We were lucky there was nopony else in it. We thought we’d killed Radiant! What if we had, Nova?! What do I do then?!”

She sank back, her hooves falling at her sides as her body went nearly limp. She stared down at the parchment in front of her, hot tears rolling down her cheeks and splattering against the paper with faint taps. Her eyes were just clear enough that she could just barely make out the last line she’d written before falling asleep.

I can’t let anyone get hurt. The line stared up at her, its words a silent accusation that hung over her mind. I can’t.

“I’m sorry,” she said at last. She ran a trembling hoof across her face, shutting her eyes as it wiped her tears across her cheeks. “I didn’t mean to explode like that. I just…”

“It’s alright.” Nova said, his voice quiet. He seemed stunned by her outburst, as shocked as she felt.

“No it’s not,” Sky Bolt said, the words slipping from her mouth before she could stop them. She folded her forelegs, pulling them close to her body as it refused to stop shaking. “It’s not.” For a moment all she could hear was the sound of her own breath and the whisper of her feathers rattling as her wings shook.

“No wonder you can’t sleep,” Nova said at last. “Have you been worrying about that ever since the mission finished?”

Sky Bolt nodded, slowly at first, but then with growing speed. “Yeah, I think so.” It felt … right, somehow, to get the words out. “I just—well ever since that night, I just can’t stop thinking about it, and every time I did … I just couldn’t…” She took in a shuddering breath. “I didn’t want to think about it.”

“Except judging from everything you’ve been doing,” Nova said, his voice still soft, “I don’t think that worked very well for you.” He paused, letting out a sigh of his own.

“Well what am I supposed to do?” Sky Bolt asked, a rushing feeling rising once more inside of her. “I mean, what if that stuff does happen and it’s all my fault? What am I supposed to do?”

“I don’t know,” Nova said, shaking his head. “I mean, if you’re asking me, I’m probably the exact wrong pony to ask about this. I mean, I’m not even here by choice—”

“Yes you are,” Sky Bolt said, surprising herself at the speed of her own outburst. “You could have bolted at any time and you know it.”

“Alright,” Nova said, a bit of the edge coming back into his voice, “so I lied. I am here by choice. But I’m still not the one you should be talking to about this. I mean, I understand what you’re talking about, but I don’t have any advice except that you should talk to somepony about it. Why tell me in the first place?”

“I … Because you were here,” she admitted. She loosened her forelegs slightly, the shaking fading. “I think you just happened to be the one who was around when no one else is.”

“Well, if staying up late to play poker with Princess Luna and her Guard keeps getting me into this, I’m going to have to start insisting the games are held somewhere else,” Nova said, shifting his gaze away from her.

“You play poker with Princess Luna?” Sky Bolt asked, eager for the distraction. “When?”

“And her Guard,” Nova corrected quickly. “About an hour ago.”

“Did she … say anything? About me or anything?”

“Aside from a slight mention that she was impressed with your work?” Nova said, slightly confused. “No. Well, actually,” he said, tapping a hoof against his jaw, “I think she did suggest I walk around the barracks later if I was still up and to say ‘hello’ if I saw you. Why?”

“Just curious.” The dream she’d had flashed into her mind again, the Princess’s stern but soft voice ringing through her head. Maybe it was her? She shook the thought from her head.

“So,” Nova said, drawing out the word, “do you want to talk about things a bit more?”

“I—no, not really,” Sky Bolt said, unclenching her forelimbs at last and twisting them back and forth as a plethora of pins and needles began to roll down them. “I think I just want to think for a little bit about what I said.”

“Maybe get some sleep?” Nova asked.

“Maybe.” She rubbed a hoof up and down one leg as her stomach seemed to flutter. “Maybe not. I’ll see.”

“Well,” Nova said, standing. “I can help out at least a little bit in that regard.”

“Really? How?” She asked, one eyebrow raised. “Some sort of sleep trick?”

“Not really,” he said with a shrug. “I was just going to suggest that you not stay here.” He looked down at her workbench, and she followed his gaze towards the smudged, tearstained piece of parchment. “You might want to think about sleeping somewhere else, or at least sitting somewhere else.”

“That’s…” she paused for a moment, running the suggestion over and over in her mind. “That’s a surprisingly good suggestion.” Her hooves made sharp raps as she dropped from the stool, her legs shaky but holding her weight under her.

“Like just maybe,” Nova suggested, a bit of the rebellious twang she knew coming back into his tone, “just maybe … your quarters.”

“Maybe,” she said, another shiver rippling through her as she thought about sitting in her room. “I think I’ll just sit in the common room though. I don’t know if I’m going to quite be able to get back to sleep yet. Especially not after, well … that.”

Nova nodded as she walked past him, and he fell into step behind her, not once commenting on her slow pace or the shaking that she knew was still moving up and down her body. She pushed the door to the workshop open without looking back, not wanting to risk the chance of looking at something, anything, that could trigger another explosion like she’d just had.

“Are you sure you’re going to be fine out here?” Nova asked as they she trotted into the common room. The room was dim, only one of the magilights shining down.

“I’ll be fine,” she said, trying to sound confident. “I just need to think for a while.” She dropped herself onto one of the common rooms couches, one wing folded against her side as she stretched out on the soft cushions.

“Alright, well, if you’re sure, I’m going to get some sleep,” Nova said, his last words cutting off with a yawn. “I’ve got to be up in a few hours.” He turned for the hall.

“Nova?” The unicorn stopped as she called out, turning his head halfway back towards her. “Thanks. I mean it.”

“Hey,” he said, tossing his head. “What are … What are friends for?” He turned back towards the hall, and was gone.

Sky Bolt pulled herself down into the cushions, wishing for a moment she’d been able to buy at least one cloud couch for the common room instead of a more ordinary couch that the whole team could use. Maybe I could get one for my room. It wouldn’t be a bad idea. After all, her room was definitely warmer than the common room, and then maybe she could do some of her sketching in there—

No, she thought, pulling her thoughts away from her designs. I don’t want to think about that at the moment. Her limbs were still shaky from her explosion a few minutes earlier.

I can’t believe I blew up on Nova like that, she thought, curling her body and burrowing deeper into the cushions. I just completely lost—

“Sky Bolt?”

She jerked upright in surprise at the soft melodic tones. Sabra was standing by the entrance to the hall, some sort of bundle on his back.

“Sabra?” she asked in confusion. “What are you doing out here?”

“Nova woke me up,” the zebra said, confusion etching itself across his face. “He said you needed me for something?” He turned to the side, grabbing the bundle from his back and holding it up for her to see. Brightly colored weaves stood out on the sides of the bundle, crisscrossing patterns woven from eye-catching greens and yellows. It also looked nice next to his cutie mark, the trio of concentric rings on his flank.“He also said you needed a blanket,” the zebra said with a gentle nod of his head.

Sky Bolt let out a chuckle as he finished speaking, shaking her head. Of all the crazy things to do, she thought. “Don’t worry,” she said as Sabra frowned. “Nova wasn’t trying to pull something. I could use a blanket. It’s getting cold these days.”

“Yes,” Sabra said, trotting across the common room and coming to a stop in front of the couch. “I find myself using an additional blanket these days. Will this do … for your needs?” He unfurled the blanket with a toss of his head, the bright, cheery pattern spreading across the couch.

“It’s perfect,” Sky Bolt said, grasping one end of the blanket and pulling it up over her body. Unless… “Can you do one other thing for me?”

“Of course,” Sabra said, his head giving a gentle nod. His face was, as always, composed, but she could tell from the slip of his voice that he’d noticed the tear-tracks on her cheeks, and probably connected it with the general state of her mane. “Anything.” He meant it.

“Then get up here,” she said, tapping the cushion next to her with one hoof. Sabra hesitated, and she stuck out her lower lip, hoping it’d have the same effect on him it’d always had on her father. “Please?”

Sabra climbed up onto the couch, sitting down next to her, and she leaned into him, shutting her eyes. For a moment, there was nothing in the world but the couch under her, the warm blanket wrapped tightly around her, and Sabra.

“Are you alright?” Sabra asked after a moment, his shoulder shifting underneath her chin.

“No,” she said without opening her eyes. “But you’re helping it be better.”

* * *

“Well, Sky Bolt,” Dawn Triage said, her clipped tones ringing out as she trotted into the medical bay. “I must admit you’re looking somewhat better this morning than you appeared yesterday.”

“Which is pretty much your way of telling me I look like I’ve been through the wringer, isn’t it?” Sky Bolt asked, pausing for a moment before entering the med bay. Sterile surfaces were all around her, smooth and white under the bright magilights.

“Well, I suppose if you wanted to put it that way, you could,” Dawn said as she crossed the room. Her horn lit up with an orange glow, and a chair slid away from the wall, coming to a stop next to the examination table. “Now,” the pink mare asked as she motioned for Sky Bolt to lie down on the examination table, “you asked to speak with me about something that you needed help with.”

“Yes,” Sky Bolt said, trotting across the room and climbing up onto the table. She took a deep breath, steeling herself. You can do this, she thought as Dawn sat down in her chair. Just tell her what’s going on, and you might be a step closer to being able to figure this out. “You’re a psychiatrist, right?”

“I’m trained to offer basic psychiatric needs,” Dawn said, her expression professional as she floated a clipboard and quill over towards herself. “As well I could say that I am educated in quite a few more. Would I be correct to assume this has to do with your observed lack of sleep over the last few days?”

“Yes,” Sky Bolt said, her body tensing. “Yes it does.” She took a deep breath as Dawn looked on expectantly, quill at the ready. Alright, Sky Bolt, she told herself, you can do this. She looked down at her hooves, then up at the quill floating beside Dawn’s clipboard.

“Could you, um, not do that?” she asked. Dawn frowned in puzzlement. “The quill and the clipboard,” Sky Bolt said, turning away and looking at the med-bay counter, her distorted reflection gleaming back at her from a dozen polished metal surfaces. “Can’t I just—you know—talk?”

“Very well,” Dawn said. The quill and clipboard floated away in the corner of Sky Bolt’s eyes, vanishing into a cupboard with a sharp snap. “Whenever you would like to start.”

“Alright,” Sky Bolt said, turning to look back at her. Now all I have to do is just talk, she thought. Tell her what’s going on, and she’ll do … something. I don’t know. Who knows, just talking about it might be enough to help me feel better.

“Alright,” she said again. She took a deep breath. “It all started a few days ago, when we were finishing up the last bits of the ERS mission…”

Author's Note:

And so ends the first of the side stories. I'll admit, this was an interesting one to both write and work on. Trying to mix dreams with an acute shock disorder while still keeping in the mind of a female point-of-view character ... yikes.

But in the end, I think it worked. Sky Bolt was a character who I never quite got to play with as much as I'd hoped in the original Rise, and I'm glad to have been able to give her her own chance to grow here.

Comments ( 24 )

A difficult subject to talk about, especially by those who suffer it.

3518808
Do you feel I did it justice?

3482973
She'll never get that far, fortunately. No matter what, it will still take a unicorn to actually do the enchanting, so she's not going to go full out revolution over the course of the story. She will, however, have to deal with the ethics of her creation as the series progresses.

As far as Mint swearing revenge, well, technically Sky Bolt still came up with this, as Mint was doing it via an entire different route. Then again, Mint's unstable. I won't say anything here, you'll just have to keep reading.

3520259

I think you're off to a good start.

3520259
But theoretically, could a unicorn enchant a crystal with the spell to enchant a specific, other spell into crystals?

3531613
Well, in theory they could with a matrix of some kind, but it'd take a computer so powerful and advanced to govern the process that even we wouldn't be able to do it without perhaps some of the most advanced computers ever built working in tandem. Each crystal is unique, and part of the reason it takes so long to enchant one is that the enchantment must be done in sequence, with nearly every part of it repeated hundreds of times as it realigns the crystals structure to channel the spell. As the enchanter moves through the crystal, they have to alter their spell for each successive slice of crystal, while keeping in mind both the layers before that they've altered and what's coming. One can throw caution to wind and "brute force" it to speed, but then they expose themselves to magical feedback that can break ones sanity, damage ones body, or even cause destruction if not properly checked. An artificial system also wouldn't have the emotional ability either, as emotions are something nothing can imitate.

It's far more likely that in a few hundred years or so, someone will realize that rather than enchanting the crystals, it's easier to artificially make a crystal to be enchanted, But we won't see that happen in TDG unless the show itself shows it.

3532157
Ab, ok. I didn't realize how complex you were making the enchanting process. Still, more worldbuilding is always good. :twilightsmile:

3532339
There's a lot of background stuff I have in my back pocket that will probably never come up unless someone asks about it, just like most series. :pinkiesmile: But yeah, crystal enchanting is something that is best done organically, at least at this point in the series.

This will definitely be read by me when I'm not busy writing! :pinkiecrazy:

3603203
I'm glad you enjoyed it. Hope you enjoy the rest of the series as well.


3812033
The PTSD was a tough one to tackle, but I think I did well at it. I had to do some research and whatnot, but I think it was worth it. Sky Bolt's struggle with her new job aren't over yet, as you'll see in "The Definition of Strength."

Now Luna helps. Well, better late than never. Memory lapses? This is not good. Does the mental degradation causing Radiant to go mad have anything to do with this? Ok, maybe not Luna, if she's busy playing poker. Or maybe she just took a quick break and fixed it.

Glad to see Bolt finally talking about her problems. Small steps. Won't be seeing her completely fixed by next story, unless there's some big time skip involved.

Huh, how much medical knowledge does Triage even have? Still think that Dawn will recommend a specialist.

Enchanting worldbuilding is interesting. Wonder how this would mesh if the unicorns / Bolt makes a circuit, while at the same time electronic circuits started somewhere else.

4104104
The memory lapse wasn't actually something she was suffering from in the real world, but rather the dreamstate, kind of like how you can do something one day, and then have a dream where it hasn't happened yet. Same situation. In the real world, she wouldn't be facing that scenario, but in a dream?

As far as Dawn's knowledge of psychology, she holds a capable range of education in it. In the Rangers, mental trauma isn't a surprise (after all, they deal with a lot of dangerous wildlife) and accidents happen. Hunter isn't the only one to lose friend or family in the Rangers, and Dawn has dealt with all manner of survivors guilt, PTSD, and other mental trauma as a result.

4162201
So I double-checked ... and it looks like you missed the Epilogue of "Rise," since your last post was on chapter 42 of 43.

Don't you know? You always check after the credits for a stinger! :pinkiehappy:

As far as the questions raised ... all I can say is "MANIACAL LAUGHTER!"

Which isn't really saying anything, but I can't very-well give stuff away now can I? :raritywink:

Honestly, I think my favourite characters are Nova and Sky Bolt. Nova because he is just so "chill with a side of badass", and Sky Bolt because she is quite a bit like me. We both like to tinker with things in our own little workshop space, and then proceed to completely confuse someone with a long winded explanation of how our latest creation works, whether we were asked or not.

Also, does she have ADHD? If so that would be another commonality.

As a veteran with PTSD I am impressed with how well you seem to grasp the impact it has on someone. Not sleeping, flashbacks, the effect it has on one's life. You really did it justice.

4367355
Thank you. I'm glad to hear that I did well with it. When I set out to write "Carry On," I knew that handling Sky Bolt's PTSD would be a delicate issued that deserved careful treatment, and I ended up doing a lot of research into PTSD and reading accounts of those who suffered from it in my search for accuracy. I'm very glad to hear that I seem to have succeeded in giving it the weight it needed.

And on another note, thank you for serving in the armed forces.

Ah ha! It looks like Sky Bolt will be dealing with the stress going forward in the Saga. I feel that it's a very nice development of her character, and could open the door to a lot of meaningful interactions with her friends.

I mean in addition to what's in this story, of course.

You gave me a little double-fake-out. At the end of Rise I was happy to see the long awaited ride with her parents taking place, and was simultaneously sad that you didn't want the ending to overstay its welcome with another scene. So at the beginning of the story I thought, "Oh yay! We get to see the flight!" Then Sabra showed up and I thought, "Oh, dangit! It's just a dream."

And then the nightmare turned out to be utterly terrifying, so I'm not complaining so much as saying, "D'oh! You got me!" :pinkiehappy:

oh wow. nice story. I m impressed with how deep you have gone with her psicology, maybe this the first or one of the most of the fic I have read that make a character so rich

4382276
Yeah, I knew from the very beginning that despite her words when she first met Steel, she really didn't know what she was getting into. She'd never actually faced death before, not in that way, and I knew right away that her dealing with the mental effects of what she'd signed up for would play an important part of her character. It'll continue to be a part of her and who she is, along with how she and the rest of the characters grow. :pinkiehappy:

4419920
Thanks! It took a bunch of research, but it paid off.

It's been said but I have to say it again. You did a wonderful job here with Sky Bolt, and a great starting look at a very difficult and extremely real scenario and situation for her. Really looking forward to seeing how this progresses.
Also a great job of working the whole 'was that really Luna in the dream' angle. I think it works really well keeping that vague from Sky Bolt's perspective.

very nice. the PTSD is very deep, which enriches sky bolt's character. the whole dusk guard has nicely 3d personalities. i love it. overall very good job. the second chapter felt a bit rushed, but thats probably just me. :applejackunsure:
so overall :yay: :rainbowkiss: :rainbowkiss: :twilightsmile: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache: 7.8/10

Very good story...not sure why I took a 4 month break in between the first chapter and the last two, but I'm glad I decided to come back to it. 10/10.

6419224
A word of caution. I am glad you're enjoying the saga, but don't forget that the Dusk Guard's cameo appearance in Stardust is canon for Stardust but not for The Dusk Guard. The two universes stated quite independently, and while the crossovers are fun, they are not canon for The Dusk Guard Saga. Also, the crossover was in effect as of the first two side stories and makes use of the characters, but not the overarching plot of TDG.

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