The Equestrian population is expanding, spreading faster than the mages of the guard can defend it against the wild land.
A dragon's rampage leaves a young earth pony alone and in a desperate struggle for control of his own body. Attempting to make a normal life for himself, he happens upon a mare who sweeps away his loneliness and helps him rekindle a purpose to live.
The story of the rise and fall of Equestria's most fierce and unique battle mage.
Thanks for interest and editing goes to the lovely Junegold.
Chapters (4)
OH god you finally published it! I'll be reading this later today.
Ah, trying your hand at this whole writing business, eh? I'm adding this to my RiL in the hopes that you'll have several chapters up by the time I get to it.
An excellent start, pretty straightforward as you said, but enjoyable. Will be tracking this one. Always willing to support stories with OCs as major storyline characters.
Looking forward to more.
Such original! Very story! Refreshing to see a story with new characters that are all OC.
You have my attention, good sir...
Another evil dragon fic...
At least it was a Draco, not a real dragon.
4894013
Yep. It's far from done like I wanted, but I lost interest in being so picky over this one. I will post chapters as they come and stop critiquing myself on them. Just get it out of the grinder and into the cruise lane.
4894015
I actually have a bunch of finished chapters, more drafts, and a full outline stocked up for this one because I didn't want to be pressured when I wrote. It was fun but now I want to just get it done so I can make room for other projects. I don't think I will ever write as fast as you do... not when I'm obsessing, at least.
4894843
I find it interesting that we're both releasing dragon-related fiction at roughly the same time. That makes me want to wait even longer, now that I think on it; I don't want my work to be influenced by yours. But I'll still read it, just gotta catch up on my massive RiL.
4894925
Hmm. I didn't think of that. My background for this one is long established, so I don't think your Reddux, as good as he is, will influence my dragon portrayal at all. Actually, there is a short prequel to this that might get in your way more than this one, but I won't finish that up for awhile. I really like it, though. Maybe I will ask you to look over some dialogue for that sometime.
4895035
I'd be willing to give it a looksee.
4895172
I will link you a draft of the dragon chapter once it's done in that one. See what you think. It's always a good idea to get more eyes to critique dialogue for ancient creatures.
4894828
Evil dragon... I guess, in a way, this dragon is a bit on the darker side. And no, it was a real dragon alright, far from full grown but real. To me, a dragon's nature in this universe depends on what it is protecting. They are solitary sentinels and hoarders by nature, but that can be fed by either greed or honor.
More sensible and honorable dragons go out of their way to find things more worth protecting; a dragon fueled by the value of riches is dangerous, but one driven for the protection of ancient and terrible artifacts is far stronger and wiser. There is definitely more of one side, but you could say that either way a dragon goes they are a benefit to a highly magical world: the greedy go off in search of instant wealth and find a fiery death, and the magical weapons of tyrants find their way to dead ends in the grasp of long-lived, monstrous sentinels.
4894790
Hey, I definitely know who you are. Glad you're interested and hope you stick around for the rest!
4894144
4894324
Thanks a lot! I'm very glad to have a few people interested to read this. A few more chapters are ready, and even more in draft form, but i'll wait for a little bit to get ahead.
Second chapter looking very nice!
Good stage-setting! :)
So far, I'm really enjoying the pacing, story structure, and the use of mystery as a compelling force to invest the reader. I know that just saying, "Good job" isn't very helpful when you're looking for constructive criticism, but that's really all I can say at the moment, sorry. (Did I really just apologize to an author because their work was too good for me to be able to criticize?)
Anyway, you said that you're taking your favorite trope and trying to give it a solid paced, enjoyable feel. Which trope is that, exactly? (If you don't mind my asking.)
Yay! I was happy to see that this story got updated... So few stories do these days.
Keep em coming, this site lacks all OC stories that are well-written and interesting (like this one)
4914744
The trope is inherent in Ember’s condition... which is obscured as a mystery to to make it compelling. That’s what I get for commenting on something I haven’t revealed yet. Thanks for the favorite and taking the time to comment. Confirming what readers are feeling just gets the next chapter done and polished faster. I see you just finished quite the project yourself.
4915365
Ugh, yes. I pretty much did nothing but eat, sleep, write, and revise for 5 months while I was writing that story, and then another 2 while I was posting it all.
Anyway, you said feedback helps you get things out more quickly, so here are a few other things. I don't know if they'll help at all, but they're my current theories based on what's out so far:
Ember sometimes transforms into that same dragon that killed his family. Certain things probably set him off, hence why he mentioned having to be careful, but there also seems to be a bit of a countdown, which is why he needs to leave for a while once every couple of weeks. The dragon is probably about as aware of things when he's in charge as he is when it's in charge, so the thing that sets it off might be gold or jewels, and would also mean that Ember might be able to direct the dragon to some extent, like if it was attacking somepony he cares about.
Glimmer is most likely going to be the main female interest, and I'm totally okay with that. It's a refreshing deviation from the norm that she isn't the one that got saved by him earlier, but was still involved enough in the incident to recognize him.
I am truly and honestly stumped as to what sort of quest/foe Ember will have to deal with, although the frequent mention of needing battle mages around fend off monsters indicates that Ember, and company, possibly, will be dealing with them to a greater or lesser extent.
Anyway, I look forward to seeing how (in)accurate my guesses were, and I'm really looking forward to seeing Ember and Glimmer spend some more time together. You've created a very real feeling world, with compelling characters to fill it, so I suppose being excited for the next chapter is just natural.
4915828
Hey, this was a surprise. I wasn't expecting a lot of comments this long and it's great. I'm celebrating netting a perceptive reader! And it all sounds sounds like you're just where I want you. I'm glad I can deviate to refreshing, as is the intention; Hero's Journey stories can always turn out great if you know where to step in the minefield. I could always get my legs blown off here, but I doubt it.
Expect a chapter in the next few days. I should be happy with it by then. Thanks again, and perhaps I can read or review A New Dragon in Ponyville if you like once my own writing binge is over.
4914926
I'm glad the base for my main characters came off well. That's the core bit you can't get wrong.
4916425
I'm looking forward to that new chapter! As for A New Dragon in Ponyville, while I'm thrilled at the success it got, I'll be the first to admit that it isn't perfect. Frankly, I think that I just got lucky, catching so much attention with my first story. Still, I'm honored that you'd consider reading it, and sure wouldn't object to more constructive criticism (Celestia knows I need it).
You know... This is good. I been rather frustrated lately with a hole bunch of really crappy stories, where I don't like any of the characters and I have no idea what's going on.
but this is good. I'll have to see more obviously... But if I could fav it again... I would :) 
Good new chapter!
Poor Ember... Misunderstood :)
Still like it :)
Wow, Lily. Giggling when Damian winked at you? Did you somehow miss that a jerk like that tried to rape you last week? Then again, it seems like she followed him into the forest of her own free will, so being clueless is pretty believable for her.
I wonder if Ember has ever tried meditation or other such techniques, if controlling his emotions helps control his... I'm guessing, transformation into a dragon. Maybe that's how he'll wind up learning to harness it.
I've always appreciated constructive feedback, so here's every error, typo, or other odd thing I noticed:
Five of the first six paragraphs begin with “Ember.” It isn't a huge deal, but it was a little distracting.
Comma instead of a period.
Comma instead of a period.
At least, I think the rule is that you always have to precede a character's name by a comma, when they are being addressed in dialogue. I could be wrong on that.
Same as above.
Anyway, it was a really good chapter, with nice character development, some world building (class separation and wealth disparity are bigger problems than I was expecting), and the first hints of Ember attempting to communicate with the thing, that I'm assuming is a dragon, that takes control of him sometimes. Making Lily respond to Damian's advances was a good way to prevent the reader from feeling too bad that Ember doesn't seem interested in her. It sucks that I'll have to twiddle my thumbs for a week until the next chapter, but I'm sure it'll be worth the wait!
4917061
That makes me very happy to hear!
4946239
Thank you for catching those, and you are right with all of them. I really don’t know if there are any exceptions for that comma in direct address.
Looks like Lily came off more unbalanced than I wanted. She was far more ditzy in the original draft, which I didn’t like as much. I did another quick re-work of some things I think help, but this chapter needs more before I submit for formal review (around chapter 10 by the look of things). Thanks again for the feedback and catching the errors. Next chapter is 1/3 solid and complete.
It's good to see this again. I look forward to the next chapter.