Pearple Juice With Bits

by Pearple Prose

Crumpling and Crumpets [Twiluna]

Lord Blueblood IV of Canterlot, member of the Royal House of Equestria and rightful heir to the Blueblood family fortune, hadn’t felt it was presumptuous of himself to accept Lady Luna Selene Artemis’s challenge – at least not until she took off her waistcoat and revealed an entire Blueblood’s worth of muscle underneath.

If it had been a nicer day and if Blueblood wasn’t about to get stuck into a game of hooficuffs with them, he probably would have said something clever and flirtatious about the shape and tone of Lady Luna’s legs. But now that he was standing there, staring at them from across the alleyway, onlookers looking on with rapt fascination, the only thing he could say was, “And you’re positively sure about this, your ladyship?”

“One hundred percent,” Lady Luna said, flashing a smile, although it was probably more of a sneer, dripping with malice, but maybe Blueblood was just imagining that. She tied her long, flowing hair back into a tight bun. “Hast thou prepared thyself, good sir?”

In Blueblood’s defence, he hadn’t really intended to say what he did about Lady Twilight II and the question of the existence of certain… evening activities she may have involved herself in, but he had been drunk, and also she’d looked at him in a way that Blueblood felt he didn’t deserve. Maybe if Lady Twilight didn’t surround herself with such a variety of mares, day-in and day-out, then rumours wouldn’t propagate and Blueblood wouldn’t have thought to say such a stupid thing as he did.

Or rather, he might have avoided saying it when Lady Twilight happened to be being escorted by Lady Luna Selene Artemis, who was as close to the throne as a pony could get without being Her Serene Highness herself, and who also apparently packed quite the athletic arsenal with her.

“I, uh. I’m ready, your ladyship,” Blueblood said, eventually, wishing he sounded a tad more sure about the whole thing than he did.

They didn’t engage one another immediately – in the soft, orange glow of the street lamp that stood by the back entrance to the Ailing Alicorn, Blueblood and Lady Luna circled, waiting for their moment to strike. In the background, there was the din of the gathered crowd, eager to see scandalous blood spilled, or at the very least some supremely ruffled members of the nobility.

Then, after a few moments, Luna got bored and just went for it.

Blueblood squealed – something he’d later call a “war cry” upon retelling the anecdote of his great victory – and reared back, then staggered as a hoof crashed into his gut, forcing all the air out of his lungs and making him wheeze.

Blueblood righted himself, took one vague swing in Luna’s direction, and then crumpled to the cobblestones in a heap, whimpering as he went.

Luna turned to the crowd, which had fallen immediately silent, put an arm into the air, and said, “Yay! We win again!”

---

“You didn’t have to do that, you know,” Twilight said, eventually, sipping on a brightly coloured cocktail.

It was a quiet evening, now that the ruffian Blueblood had been dealt with. Ladies Luna and Twilight, honour defended, had been showered with drinks and good cheer, and had since folded themselves away in a small, comfortable corner of the public house. There was a rose in a glass on their table, and a few candles, and plenty of drinks, which were steadily being emptied as the hours crept by.

Luna looked up at Twilight, stunned, with white foam from her beer lingering in the hair around her lips. “But… But he besmirched your good name! Of course I had to defend you!

Lady Twilight, out of public view somewhat, had removed her long and flowing dress, and let her mane down from its usual ornate style. “Well, yes. I guess that’s true. But you could have been hurt! And what would Her Highness think if she saw you walking around with a split lip or a black eye or something? Again?” She leaned forward across the table and laid a hoof on Luna’s own, delicately.

Luna’s ears folded back at the contact, and she avoided looking into Twilight’s concerned gaze. “Well. It was only Blueblood. I really do hope you didn’t expect me to be hurt by that cretin.”

“Actually? I’m surprised you handled him as well as you did. He just… crumpled.” Twilight’s concern split open to reveal the beginnings of a satisfied smirk. “Like a sack of potatoes.”

Luna felt herself blush a little, a similar smile tugging at her own lips. “Celestia has been teaching me. Just a little.”

There was a pause. Twilight’s face went through a few different permutations before settling on ‘bemused amusement’. “I see. Well, it’s certainly done wonders for your form. Not to mention your physique.”

There was more than a hint of a growl at the edge of that last word. Luna bristled, leaned forward and stared into Twilight’s eyes with a sultry grin painted across her face. “I have many more… techniques I can show you, if only I were to receive a peek at those ankles in return.”

Later that week, when the rumour mill had sufficiently turned, ponies would come to the Ailing Alicorn and ask the owner if certain stories had more than just the smell of truth about them.

And the owner, with a knowing smile, said not a word.

Author's Note:

Wrote this relatively recently based on a Victorian-style AU where Luna punches pones and peeks at Twilight's ankles in a very gentlemare-ly way, which is an idea that me and a bunch of folks in the TwiLuna Skype/Discord chat came up with waaay back in like 2014 or 2015 or some shit.

Might turn into something in future. If nothing else it's nice to write something lighthearted once in a while. I never really noticed how all my prompt stories end up being really sad or dark or angst-y until recently.

Comments

[FanOfMostEverything]

Intriguing stuff, especially the apparently different structure of the highest echelons of power. I hope you explore this world further.

[Sollace]

*bloop* Dropping a comment here.

This one's probably my latest favourite of the lot. I really hope you explore this further. Especially to find out who Lady Twilight I was.