• Published 3rd Nov 2013
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Pearple Juice With Bits - Pearple Prose



Assorted story scraps and bits by me.

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Domesticity [TwiLuna]

Twilight Sparkle wasn't used to normal things. Normal things implied common, regular, everyday occurrences. Things that you'd wake up to find in your bedroom and not even give a second glance; things that you would certainly not use an ancient magical artefact of unrivalled power to turn said objects into stone.

In this way, Twilight Sparkle is far from normal. As far as she was concerned, normal things were just things that happened to other ponies. It was a way of thinking that naturally comes to one who is exposed to a quirky, quaint little village called Ponyville for an extended period of time.

And so, when Twilight Sparkle woke up in her bed one morning and found a princess-shaped void in the bed next to her, her reaction was quite expected in its own rather unexpected way.

"GUARDS! GUARDS! PRINCESS LUNA HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED! QUICKLY, SUMMON THE ELEMENTS, AND POSSIBLY CELESTIA TOO IF SHE HAS THE TIIIIiiiiiiiime..." Her delusional ravings trailed off as she saw the guards standing at the door staring at her awkwardly.

Clearly, some more tact was required. "Um... If you wouldn't mind...? Please?"

The guards looked at each other, smirked, and said, "Of course, your Highness. Why don't you go search for Princess Luna while we guard Mr Sock for you?"

Twilight blushed violently, and ran out of the door and tried to ignore the intolerable sniggering. She loathed sniggering. Sniggering was never a good sign for somepony as socially inept as her. She made a mental note to outlaw sniggering of any and all kinds.

Her ears perked as she wandered through the corridors of the castle; she could hear singing. There wasn't any particular rhythm to it, just a tuneless melody that nonetheless managed to worm its way into her head. She followed the humming down some stairs and through several more corridors, before she found herself in the kitchen.

Wearing a pretty pink apron—adorned with the slogan, OSCULATE THY CHEF— and rather clumsily manipulating a pan over the burner, was Luna. Her singing was accompanied by an occasional rump wiggle and spontaneous giggle. Behind her was a table with a feast fit for a princess sat atop it.

Trying not to drool at the two very delicious things standing in front of her, Twilight hesitantly spoke up, "Luna? Are you... cooking?"

Luna stopped humming, and turned to look at Twilight with a bright smile on her face. "Oh! Fair morning to you, love! And yes, we had heard of these tantalising treats known as 'pancakes' and decided to experiment. Such fun!"

Twilight didn't hear her; she was staring at the breakfast spread with her jaw agape. "Maple syrup, jelly, Frosted Filly Flakes, toast, butter—"
"Actually," Luna interjected, eyes focused intently on the sizzling pancakes, "it's not butter."

"Really?"

"Uh-huh."

Twilight gazed at the not-butter with newfound respect. "I can't believe it!"

Luna's tongue stuck out the side of her mouth as she flipped the pancake into the air. After a moment of intense silence, it landed safely back in the pan again. "HUZZAH!" Luna bellowed. A glass of orange juice shattered. "Success!" If she were to look up now, Twilight was somehow aware that she would find several flat pastry treats stuck to the ceiling.

After her ears stopped ringing, Twilight wandered over to her ecstatic wife with the glazed-over look of a pony who still wasn't quite in tune with reality somehow.

"So how was your morning, sweetie?" Luna asked, smile as bright as moonlight.

Twilight waved her off. "Not bad. Thought you were kidnapped for a moment or two. The guards thought it was hilarious. Oh, and remind me to outlaw sniggering at some point. Speaking of mornings..." Twilight gestured vaguely towards the great spread. "Where did all this come from?"

To her eternal credit, Luna took Twilight's response in stride. "I can't rightly say. I suppose the inspiration just struck me, you know? The muse is an odd beast. Also," Luna carefully flipped the pancakes onto a plate, and brandished them with a flourish "ta-daaaa! Breakfast is served!"

Twilight clapped her hooves excitedly. Without further ado, she lathered her pancakes in syrup and a sliver of not-butter. She felt Luna sit next to her and kiss her on the cheek. "I do hope you enjoy them, love. And how about afterwards..." Luna's voice dropped to a sweet, sensual whisper. "...We have breakfast in bed?"

Twilight gulped, and smiled a smile that clearly said "I am the luckiest pony in the world right now", complete with a vivid blush.

So this is a "normal" morning, then? She thought, popping a piece of pancake in her mouth. I could get used to thi—


"GUARDS! GUARDS! PRINCESS SPARKLE HAS TAKEN ILL! QUICKLY, SUMMON THE ELEMENTS, AND POSSIBLY CELESTIA IF SHE ISN'T EATING CAKE IN HER CHAMBERS AGAIN!"

"Yes, your majesty! Fetch the stomach pump! The princess was cooking again!"

Twilight Sparkle isn't a normal pony.

And she'd like to keep it that way, thank you very much.

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