• Member Since 2nd Nov, 2013
  • offline last seen Jul 8th, 2014


Gentle notes flow from this instrument of my heart, her voice is my life line, and without her here i can feel my soul fading from the light. -Unknown


This story does have a little bit of DJ and Octy romance but not much. I know this is probably a weird story, but it popped into my head while hearing 'The Last Night by Skillet'. There are a lot more chapters that I want to write but I am nervous, this is my first published story to a site like this. I hope you like it, please comment and tell me what you think.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 19 )

wonderful! just beutiful! good structure, action, i was in tears! usually it is vinyl who is the dark(er) one, but you pulled it off so well! bravissima( i think i speled that right) keep it coming! i enjoyed it!

'The Last Night by Skillet'

That song was playing when I found this story. Decided, what the hell. I got a few before having to work.

Pretty good thing ya got here. Felt that some of your paragraphs coulda been split better. Saw a few grammar mistakes. Pretty good story. I await more.

One common habit I see is using the word person almost interchangeably with pony, when people aren't even part of the story. A good way to eliminate that is doing a word search for person, then changing it to mare, colt, or whatever is appropriate.

There is also a lack of reference to Octavia's nightmares. If you decide to write s followup chapter you can describe them there. There really isn't much story plot here, just a desperate and lonely pony who was lucky that Vinyl decided to visit after the recital.

Well done! Skillet is my favorite band and "The Last Night" is one of my favorite songs by them so I had to check out your story. You pulled it off brilliantly. More people need to read a story like this because too many people think that people who cut themselves are doing it for attention when it's really the emotional pain they feel inside. Please keep writing this. I can't wait to read more.

3439136 I'm sorry about that, I'm writing really quickly and I forget to change it. And yes, I do plan to explain her nightmare in the next chapter. Thank you for your criticism. I really appreciate it.

Beautiful. This all makes me want to cry, but in a good way. Yeah there were some grammer errors that I noticed, but overall well done. Keep it up.

First off, wonderful job! :twilightsmile: Very good syntax and dialogue for Vinyl and Octavia, I was really moved by what they were saying. Your progression of events, however, is a little too quick for my tastes. You could spend so much more time elaborating on the thoughts of the ponies, their surroundings, the mood of the room, etc. Really, any form of elaboration would help, but be careful to not over-do it. Also, some metonymy would be nice. Sorry to be tough, but I sense some talent here and I refuse to leave it undeveloped.

Sorry, I would love to help but I'm probably just as busy as you are. Anyway, I loved it! Favorite line was when Vinyl said "If you feel like you want to cut yourself then you're going to take my arm, look me in the eyes and cut as many times as you would yourself." KEEP 'EM COMIN'!!! :pinkiehappy:

3441689 Thank you so much!!(: :heart: I'll slow it down in the next few chapters. And I'm afraid that I don't know what 'metonymy' is :fluttershysad:

Most people are familiar with the concept but nobody knows the term :rainbowwild: It is a literary device that refers to someone or something by an object or characteristic closely associated with them i.e. say "the crown" when referring to a king/royalty; or like 'Octavia watched silently, achingly, as that soft mess of luminescent blue hair walked out the door', obviously referring to Vinyl.

its a very good story, just perfect

i personaly think that even though you have spelling errors, as long as the message is there its a good romance. i felt that the message was very clear and i realy liked the sad nature, its a harsh reality, but it happens to some of us. i was very touched by it, and that takes quite a lot:heart:

Wonderful work, you are doing well in putting the emotion into the words of your story.

i shall proof read, if you would have me
(that sounds like a proposal)
quiet lyra, anyhowdle, i realy enjoy the story, how you take the characters of vinyl and octavia into a deep, philosophical pony, and a broken warrior, losing more than winning against a foe in the darkness of her heart... maybe my parents were right and i should persue philosophy... any ways, i would be overjoyed to be your proof reader

That... was awesome:rainbowderp:

Oh dear, thank you :twilightblush: I really need to write chapter 3...

You don't need a proof reader, you write masterpieces every time! You are doing great, don't treat yourself like you're not, I've been there. As a matter of fact, I was there over the weekend, but I realized what is true and was able to be Derpy again... Derp:derpytongue2:

Sorry for asking so much but are you gonna make a animation about octavia's lullaby?

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