Django: Discord's Wager

by Fussan

Chapter 4

The six of them trotted through the city gates at a quick pace- though one of them had a small twig taped to the side of her head so she could see the tip of it in her peripheral vision. Even though they felt like going for each others' throats, they couldn't. They needed to stop whatever it was that Django was doing to the castle. If he was confident enough in his powers to take on both princess Celestia and princess Luna, then he was too dangerous to leave alone. They needed to stop him, and they brought the elements to do just that. If even the princesses themselves couldn't stop him, then the elements could.

Right?

As they went, the ponies of Canterlot seemed to be in a panic. Ponies ran around the streets shouting to each other to make room for them to get by, to shout warnings, or to simply shout. Needless to say, the scene made the six frenemies even more nervous about the situation than they already were when they left Ponyville.

"Wow, do you really think it's that bad?" Rainbow Dash asked them. She was hovering above them the whole time they traveled, keeping a lookout and mildly annoying the rest of them.

Twilight pushed aside the fact that they temporarily disliked each other and looked up at her friend. "I don't know Rainbow. You saw the explosions, so your guess is as good as mine."

Rainbow groaned. "C'mon, you're the egghead! You should know something about this!" Rainbow shouted at her.

Twilight started to respond, but was cut off by a soft voice coming from behind her. "Um, can we please not fight?"

They both turned to look at Fluttershy, staring at them with still-teary eyes. They then looked at each other and looked away, sighing and grumbling under their breath.

They trotted in silence a bit more until Twilight spoke up again. "To answer your question, I think that the princess might be in trouble," she said in a slightly sad tone.

They all looked at her.

"What do you mean Twilight?" Pinkie asked, her normally poofy mane and tail hanging down limply. "The princesses are super powerful. If Django tries anything funny, they'll make sure that he pays!"

Twilight just looked at the ground. "You know I have a link to Celestia, right?" she asked them.

The all responded positively in their own ways.

"Well... a while ago... I felt the connection... Well, it went out," she finished bluntly.

There was a collective gasp from her companions.

"Does... Does that mean... She's dead?" Applejack asked quietly.

Twilight shook her head and looked at her. "I don't know. I really don't. There are dozens of reasons why it could have went out, and that's only one," she said sadly. Then she took on a look of hope. "But I don't think so," she said matter-of-factly.

Rarity tilted her head at Twilight. "What do you mean, dear? What else could he have done?" she asked.

After a second of quiet, Twilight looked back ahead and kept heading towards the nearing castle. "I don't know, but I doubt that he killed them. He's close to them. Closer to them than he is to us even," she said. Though it was tinted with sadness towards the end. "And he could have killed us easily. He proved that much by doing what he did to me and Applejack. And if he didn't do that to us, I don't think that he would do it to Celestia or Luna."

They all thought about what she said. And even though they weren't sure, they had to admit that he actually spared Twilight and Applejack. And he was actually very close to the two princesses. It just didn't make sense that he would kill them. They were thinking about this when a guard galloped up to them.

"Miss Sparkle!" he yelled. He was wearing the golden armor of the Day Guard, although he looked like he had seen better days.

They all stopped and waited for him to approach them.

"Miss Sparkle!" he yelled again. When he got to them, his appearance came into full effect. He had several cuts and gashes along his armor, and even more on his bare body. He held his right front hoof up slightly, and his left eye was swollen shut. "Miss Sparkle, we need your help," he said in a pained voice.

Twilight was shocked at his appearance, but after he said that, she was back in control of her mind. "What do you need? What happened? Where is the princess?"

He shook his head at her and scowled. "The Human. He somehow convinced Luna to rise up against Celestia. I don't know how he did it, but he banished her to the Sun."

They all gasped at that.

"When Celestia was gone, Luna's Night Guard started attacking us. We outnumber them ten-to-one, but they surprised us and forced us out of the castle," he finished, hanging his head in shame.

Saying Twilight was stunned would earn you the "No Shit Sherlock" award.

"Well what are we waiting for?!" Rainbow shouted out, bringing Twilight back down to Equestria. "Let's go stop him!"

They all nodded in a determined fashion and followed the galloping guard towards the castle.

He led them through the front gates. They usually had guards posted at them, but with the trouble inside of the castle, they weren't surprised to see them devoid of any protection. They silently trotted through the halls of the castle, attempting to avoid detection by the Night Guard. They occasionally came across a guard or two, but they managed to sneak past them without any trouble. And after what seemed to be an eternity, they finally made it to the large doors that led to the throne room.

Twilight stared at the doors in confusion. "What are we doing here?" she whispered to the guard.

He looked back to her with a serious expression. "He's in there. Last time I saw him, he was waiting for you to show up."

Twilight raised a brow at him. "And you think it's a good idea to just waltz in there?!"

He shushed her with a hoof. "No," he said shaking his head. "But while you distract him, I can get a number of guards here to help you. I'll only need him distracted for a few minutes, and then you'll have all the help you need."

Twilight thought about it for a few seconds before nodding her head. "Okay. We'll go in, then you get your guards. After that, we'll stop him with the elements."

He nodded at her and as quietly as he could, he edged the door open and stepped back.

They all steeled themselves for what was to come next. Then, with determination, they stormed through the doors, calling their war cries.

Somehow, they weren't surprised to see Django sitting on the throne lazily with an amused expression on his face, cradling a bottle of alcohol against his chest. But they were surprised when the door slammed shut behind them, locking them in. They turned to see the guard staring at them with cold eyes.

"Excellent work, Silver," Django said from the throne.

Before their eyes, the supposed Day Guard lit up in a neon green light. It lasted only a second before shimmering away, leaving a scowling Night Guard standing there instead.

"With all due respect sir, I never want to do that again," the Night Guard said.

Django laughed, drawing the eyes of the six friends. "Don't worry, you won't need to."

***

Django and Luna were laying in the latter's bed. The light's were dimmed, the walls were sound-proofed, and they were enjoying a bottle of Celestia's own reserve whiskey.

Luna was panting slightly with a light coat of sweat clinging to her. She was enjoying herself. She took a small sip from the bottle and sighed contentedly. First she had defeated her sister, then she had been appointed the new ruler of Equestria, now she and Django were in her bed enjoying a bottle of the finest whiskey and each other's company. Yes, she was enjoying herself immensely.

Django reached over with the hand that wasn't resting on her flank and grabbed the bottle out of her magic. He took a long drink and growled at the burn of it going down his throat. "Damn that's good," he said, maybe a little too loudly.

Luna pouted at the theft of the bottle and flailed her hooves at it. "Gimme! Mine!" she slurred.

Django held the bottle away from her, smiling at her drunken attempts at reclaiming the bottle of sweet, sweet happiness. "You're already drunk. You don't need any more," he told her.

She stopped her hooves and gave him a dirty look. "I want it!" she shouted at him.

He raised an eyebrow. "If you keep that up, the guards at the door might get the wrong idea," he said suggestive voice.

She crossed her front hooves in front her of chest and stuck her tongue out at him.

He leaned forward quickly and caught her tongue gently between his teeth, at the same time pressing his lips to hers.

Her eyes widened, but quickly closed as she kissed him back.

He released her tongue, allowing her to commence battle with his own. After a minute of this, he allowed her to win as he rolled on top of her. Not for the first time that night either. He held himself up with one hand, using the other to slowly tease her-

"Princess!" the door burst open, revealing two armor-clad Night Guards. "Princess the-" but he stopped when he saw just what his princess was up to. "Er... We'll just come back later then..." he said with a blush.

Django growled into the kiss in annoyance and lifted himself up, breaking the kiss and freeing his hand from Luna's... well, that's not important. "What the fuck do you idiots want?" he asked in a low voice.

Both of the guards seemed to shudder at his voice. "W- we saw the element bearers enter the city, s- sir," the guard said.

"Yes, and?!" Django yelled.

"Well... we thought that the two of you should be aware of this," he said in an unsure voice.

Django growled. "They would have entered the castle and found me anyways!" he roared, causing the guards to back away. "It makes no difference! I knew they were coming and we could have easily killed them whenever the fuck we felt like it! Do you really think us to be so incompetent so as not to be aware of what's going on?!"

The guards seemed like they were about to break down into tears from Django's words. "W- we- we're terribly s- sorry sir," he said. "W- what would y- you have us do to make up fo- for our mistake?"

Django got up from the bed, leaving a disappointed Luna reaching out for him with both hooves. He looked at them for a while, thinking on what to do. He wanted to punish them, but that might not go over so well with Luna. And while he was far more powerful than her, that fight would take a lot out of him. So instead he settled on another option. "What's your name?" he asked, pointing to the guard who was speaking the whole time.

"S- Silver Light, sir."

"Well then, Silver Light," Django then snapped his fingers, causing a bolt of pain to go through Silver's body. It lasted only a second, but when it was over he saw that his hooves were white, instead of dark blue. "Use your fucking imagination!" He then snapped his fingers again, teleporting both of them out of the castle.

"Must you be so loud?" Luna whined from behind him. The alcohol seemed to be taking its toll on her.

Django turned around with a smile. "Don't worry your sexy little head. I'll take are of this, and when I come back, we can pick up where we left off," he said in a soft voice, inching his way out the door with every word.

Luna smiled back at him and leaned back on the bed.

He had no doubt that when he came back that she would be passed out. But putting that saddening thought aside, he made sure he had his bottle of whiskey and made for the throne room.

It was a short walk and he spent it thinking about how much he wished he had just killed them. If he did, he could still be with Luna, no doubt having some more fun. But this needed attending to, and he was the only one that could do it.

He entered the throne room and looked around. It was just as messy as he left it. Smiling, he walked over to the throne and sat down. He sighed and took another drink from the bottle. Now, all he had to do, was wait.

***

Django sat on the throne, smiling at the six little ponies in front of him. They looked so cute when they were about to die. "So, my friends, allow me to welcome you to my new kingdom!"

All of them went wide eyed and slack jawed at his words.

"We have routine carnivals at six o' clock every Tuesday. The chimney sweeps sing merrily every night at around ten. And there's mini golf upstairs."

Then, seemingly out of nowhere, there was a voice yelling "FORE!!!" and a golf ball came through the window and hit Rainbow Dash on the head.

Django shook his head while chuckling lightly. "Sorry about Manny. I keep telling him to make sure nobody's around when he drives."

The six of them glared at him, making it known with their eyes that they weren't amused.

"Django, you need to stop this!" Twilight said loudly. "You're hurting the ponies of Equestria, and you're hurting your friends!"

"Yeah, you're being a jerk!" Rainbow yelled.

"And a meanie!" Pinkie added.

"Yer gonna regret this, and Ah know it! So stop b'fore we have ta stop ya!" Applejack shouted.

"You used to be an amazing friend, Django. Now you're nothing short of a monster!" Rarity accused.

"Um, you are being kind of mean. And, I, well, I would like you to, um, please stop. Please?" Fluttershy said in her usual nervous voice.

Django took another drink of his whiskey and threw the empty bottle at the wall. When it hit, it exploded in a hail of fire and colors. "Hmm? Did you say something?"

There was a collective groan from the ponies at the door, and Django couldn't help but laugh.

"No, really, did you honestly think that I would give up and let you win me over with a few words? Honestly, I'm disappointed. I mean, there wasn't even that Captain Planet shit where all of your necklace things start glowing and shoot beams of crap at me." He shook his head in disappointment. "You girls really are hopeless."

Twilight glared at him. "I don't know what a 'Captain Planet' is, but if you want us to use the elements, we will!" she shouted at him in anger.

Django looked at her. He was powerful, but he didn't know if he could survive the elements. He needed some kind of deterrent... "Go ahead," he said calmly.

It was enough to make Twilight blink.

"Go ahead and use the elements. But if you kill me, then you kill Django too. And I'm not sure you really want to do that. But don't let me stop you if you really must kill Equestria's only Human," Django said in a defeated tone, though his smile betrayed that completely.

There was a flash of pink and then Pinkie Pie was suddenly in front of him, staring into his eyes with enough force to shatter planets. hehehe, Captain Planet shit... "If you hurt Django you're gonna be sorry!" she screamed at him loud enough to make his hat tilt back.

Django simply laughed as he righted his hat. "Don't worry, oh annoying one, Django is completely safe. In fact, as long as I'm in control, he's even safer than he would be normally. So don't worry," he said as he used one hand to pet Pinkie's head, making her eyes flutter as she leaned into his hand. "As long as I'm alive, he's as safe as safe can be."

A purple aura surrounded the pink pony and she floated away from Django. She landed next to her friends and gave Twilight a thankful smile, which Twilight returned.

Django sighed in annoyance. "Listen. I want to get back to Luna, so how about I make you a deal and we can skip all of this fighting bullshit?"

Twilight glared at him even harder than before. "And why would we make a deal with you?!" she demanded.

Her friends all backed her up on this.

Django smiled at her like she was about to lose a game of chess. "Because with a snap of my fingers I can turn you all inside-out and make you live like that for all of eternity. And trust me, that kind of pain is hard to come across, even for somebody as strong as me," he told them matter-of-factly.

There was a sound that resembled a scared gulp that came from each one of them.

"So, are you willing to listen, or do you want me to start snapping?" he asked, holding his hand up with his fingers pressed together.

"Uhm, Twi? Ah think y'all should hear him out..." Applejack said nervously.

Twilight scowled at Django.

He pressed his fingers together a little tighter.

Twilight wasn't sure if it was her imagination, but she thought that she felt her skin pull away from her, but only microscopically.

He raised his eyebrow at her, with his smile widening.

"Okay," she said slowly.

"Very good!" he cheered, dropping his hand to his side and summoning another bottle from Celestia's private reserve. "This is the deal. I want you to give me the Elements of Harmony-"

There was an immediate reaction from the ponies which consisted of shouts of disapproval and arguments.

He raised his hand again. His face held a smile, but his eyes didn't.

They instantly quieted at this.

He kept his hand held up, but kept talking. "If you interrupt me again, I'll turn somebody precious to each of you inside-out and let you figure out who it was."

There was another gulp from the ponies.

"Now," he continued, "I want the Elements of Harmony. I'm going to lock them away somewhere only I can get them back from. If Equestria comes into danger, I'll give them back to you so I don't have to get my hands dirty. But if the shit hits the fan, I'll get you out of there and deal with it myself."

They all looked at each other with mixed feelings playing on their faces.

"Secondly, I hate politics. Luna is going to be named 'Queen of Equestria' while I remain well hidden in the shadows, running things without the public knowing I'm really there. I have no interest in it, but I will technically be 'King of Equestria'. However, like I said, I'll leave it to Luna so I can spend my life with Derpy. We'll get married eventually. Maybe I can use my magic to have a kid or two with her. Who knows?"

They were all listening intently as he spoke, and this surprised them greatly. He didn't even want to be a king, but he would go through all of this? What was he playing at...?

"And lastly, as long as there isn't any kind of problems from you or yours, I can grant you all whatever you want."

They audibly gasped.

"I can give Twilight her very own library; Canterlot size. I can give Pinkie her own party center, and I'll let her do what she will with it. Rarity can have her own business line and be recognized throughout the world. Applejack can have the entirety of the free land around Ponyville for her own to do whatever it is she wishes, and I'll supply her with enough workers to keep the workload reasonable. I can give Fluttershy her very own animal 'Rescue & Care' sanctuary. I'll even clear some of the Everfree of dangers so she can have that land. And as for Rainbow Dash, I can boost her natural skills enough to guarantee her to be the best flier that ever existed and ever will. Hell, I could even put her on the Wonderbolts right now if I really wanted to." He looked at them with a deadly serious expression. His smile was gone. "This is just the beginning of what I can offer. Take it or leave it. I'll even give you a day to say goodbye to those you love if you refuse."

They were silent for a while. They weren't sure if he could really do everything he said he could, but somehow they doubted that he couldn't.

"Well?" he asked them. "I have all day, but I'd rather spend it doing other things." He finished by taking a long drink that emptied half of the bottle in his hand. He was beginning to think that he had a problem.

"And what's to stop us from using the Elements of Harmony to stop you?" Twilight asked, defiance in her tone, but it wavered dangerously.

He took another swig and looked at her with a lopsided smile. "Because it takes a good thirty seconds to warm 'em up. And it only take me a fraction of one to kill you all in a very, very painful fashion."

She flinched away at his words.

He took another drink, emptying the bottle. He threw the bottle at them, but it stopped just in front of them.

"And when I'm done with you, I'll do the same to everybody you ever loved, do love, or will ever come to love," he said as the bottle changed it's form into each of their families, or pets, or loved ones. "And I'll make sure that, before they die, they'll beg me for mercy, and I'll only tell them that it was you who caused this to happen to them. And they'll curse you. They'll damn you with their words and their hate and their suffering. If you defy me, all of this and worse will happen. And as your tortured souls watch me do this, you'll know that you can only blame yourselves for this happening."

They were shaking by the time he finished. They knew he wasn't the happiest, or nicest, or politest person out there, but for him to say things like this... They felt like crying.

Django smiled and waved his hand at them. The necklaces and Twilight's crown... tiara... headband... the thing she wears on her head, floated away from them and into his open hand. He smiled at the small pieces of magical jewelry. Then at them. "You made a good choice today. Trust me girls, you won't regret it," he said softly, his smile returning.

He won.

The sound of Django snapping his fingers echoed through the throne room. It made the six of them jump in surprise and fear. But when they discovered they were right-side-in, they looked at him.

The small portal Django had summoned whirled about furiously, as if it was angry. Small lightening bolts cracked inside of it and there were faces of... things... flashing in and out of sight. But after a few seconds, a voice could be heard screaming...

A familiar voice...

After another few seconds, Discord was, quite literally, spat out onto the floor in front of Django. He rubbed his head where he landed and scowled at Django. Then he remembered that Django had all of his powers.

Discord smiled sweetly at Django, who had an amused smirk on his face. "Why hello, my good friend-"

"We're not friends," Django quipped harshly.

"Oh.. .Well... Hello anyways, good buddy-"

"We're not buddies," Django said, just as harshly as before.

"Err..." Discord pulled on a non-existent collar. "Well... Hello there... Django..." He coughed. "It's good to see you again..." He coughed louder. "So... what prompted this little... uhh... get together?" he asked, cracking a strained, nervous smile.

Django smiled coldly at him. "I just wanted to let you know that I won our little bet."

Discord's eyes went wide.

"Wait! What do you mean 'bet'?!" Twilight yelled.

Before Discord could respond, Django laughed louder than what was really necessary. "In case you haven't figured it out, I have Discord's power." He smiled maliciously at Discord, making him flinch. "All of it."

"Well, yeah. So what?" Rainbow asked.

"Elementary, my dear Watson," Django said, his smile widening.

"No, I-" But Discord was interrupted by Django.

"Discord tried, and succeeded, in getting me drunk. After that, he used his powers to put his influence over me. And once I was... well, Discorded, he made a bet with me. One where I got his powers and had to do a better job than him at taking over Equestria as a whole."

"What?!" Discord yelled. "I-"

Django put his hand to Discord's mouth, shutting him up. "Now, now, Discord. I know you weren't expecting me to strip you of your power, but really, it's your own fault. But anyways!" Django clapped his hands together and the room instantly cleaned itself. The six of them felt the roots of his magic disappear from their minds. And a dazed and confused Celestia appeared in the room before them. "Since I have no need of your powers, you can have them all back. I just wanted to prove to you that, even muddled by your influence, my mind is superior to yours."

"No, I-" Discord tried, but was interrupted by a wave of green magic hitting him like a freight train. It sent him crashing into the back wall of the throne room. There was a few seconds of silence. Then Discord looked up to see Celestia and the six element bearers looking at him. If looks could kill...

Speaking of looks.

With their backs turned, they couldn't see Django's facial expression. But Discord could. Discord's face contorted into pure rage when he saw Django's twisted grin, mocking him, making him feel stupid for this whole situation, mocking him, mocking him, mocking him even more than it was mocking him before. And only one thought could go through Discord's head. "Bravo..."

***

Django walked home and pushed open the front door. Damn he was tired. Draining Discord's power out of his body really took it out of him. But God it was worth it to see the look on his face.

He walked up the stairs and entered the bedroom to find Derpy stretching out her legs and wings on the bed.

She looked up at him with a bright smile and flew over to him, wrapping him in a tight hug which he returned. "Where were you yesterday?"

He fell on the bed, still holding her in his arms so she was on top of him. They shared a deep kiss before he looked her in the eyes. "Do you really wanna know?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

She gave him a hard look. "What did you do this time?" she asked with a sigh.

He took in a deep breath. "I got drunk with Discord, stole his powers, almost killed a bunch of people, conquered the two princesses, took over Equestria, stopped the Elements of Harmony, and caught the evening train back here, and now I'm explaining my day to you," he said, finishing with a large intake of air and an innocent smile.

She looked at him blankly for a while. Then she blinked. "And what was your plan for me?" she asked him with false innocence.

He shrugged. "I was going to let Luna take over and move you and Dinky out to Canterlot where we could all live in luxury for the rest of our natural lives," he said as if he were discussing the weather.

She stared at him in silence again. Then she smiled. "I'm so lucky to have found you..." she said, snuggling into him lovingly.

He hugged her tighter and rested his chin on her head. "I love you Derpy. I love you more than anything in the world or beyond. Even if I could have the world, I would trade it in an instant to be with you and Dinky."

She sighed happily into his chest and smiled. "I know. I love you Django."

Django smiled genuinely for the first time in two days. "I love you too Derpy."

Comments

[Dark Colt Sabata]

3469594 You and me both bro

[Mosqueefo]

Well shit

[DerpTape]

I founs this, while rather rough, an improvement over The Interdimensional Field Trip.