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The Ponies Have Strings

Life was normal, for a time. Then, as surely as day becomes night, things began to change. Fleeting images at the corner of my eye, dark figures trailing the every move of myself and others.
The walls have eyes, the shadows have ears, and the ponies have strings.
Warning: Horror Alert. Nothing graphic or gory, but viewer discretion is still advised.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 3 )

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Corah Il Cappo

Corah Il Cappo #1 · Nov 3rd, 2013 · · ·

This was actually an interesting read. It felt a little too creepypasta-esque for my tastes, but that might just be me. It feels a bit disjointed as a pony fic, like if you were to remove the reference to Luna and change "ponies" to "people" it would be an average story.

That said though, you've got strong grammar, a solid style, and well written prose. My only real complaint there is that some of the metaphors you used, while relevant and well integrated, were a bit wordy.

Either way, take it from me. You've got potential. Put it to good use.
-Corah Il Cappo

Philobrony