Alienation

by Longtooth

Marital Strife

Shining Armor was something I had never factored into my plans. I had, stupidly, assumed he would remain in the Crystal Empire where he had plenty to occupy his attention while I dealt with everything in Canterlot. He had a new wife,a new title and a new kingdom to go with it, why would he come back?

Well, obviously, because a gang war threatened to tear apart his home city. Twilight would have done the same thing. I probably wouldn't have, but I've got a better sense of responsibility than they do.

In any case, he was on his way, and I was woefully unprepared for his arrival. I was fooling Twilight's friends just fine, but Shining Armor was family, and as I'd shown with my parents, I wasn't so good at keeping up the act around family. They were just so... pushy. Worse yet, if Shining took over the guard in Canterlot he would bring to it all his experience, training and, most importantly, power. He could shield the entire city if he wanted to, and the least effect of that would be to make my little teleportation setup worthless.

No, I wasn't prepared for him, but Gale Force had given me enough forewarning that I was able to throw together a loose plan. Actually, I could see where having my brother in charge of the Guard would be a good thing. Celestia had denied me an opportunity to get into the inner workings of the Guard's efforts, but Shining would be easier to persuade. I'd wheedle my way into investigating myself yet!

Or, rather, I wouldn't. But at the time I didn't know exactly how bad it would get. How bad it's gotten. I was being optimistic, and for a while I even convinced myself that my optimism was true. More fool, I.

Shining Armor arrived at noon the next day. I'd gotten word through Spike that morning, and I'd consciously failed to gather all of Twilight's friends for the visit. I didn't need their antics distracting me from convincing Shining that I was the same little sister as always.

Spike was with me, though. He hadn't mentioned what he had written in his letter, but I could see it in his thoughts. In the way he watched me when he thought I wasn't looking and the way he was quieter than usual. I didn't bring it up either. I don't think either of us needed to. I almost wish I had.

The train pulled up, the doors opened, and all of a sudden there were Guards everywhere. Ponies, both crystal and regular flesh, were swarming across the tiny train station, checking over every nook and cranny. I stood in dumbfounded silence, reigning in my instinctual response, which would have left most of those guards broken and bleeding.

"Whoa," Spike said, watching the activity from his place at my side. "Major security."

"Ma'am," a unicorn guard said as he walked up to us, a magical sensor floating in front of him. "If you could hold still, this will just take a moment."

The sensor turned towards me, running it's detection magic over my body. I didn't know what they were looking for, but I didn't particularly want my nominal privacy invaded either. I sent a surreptitious jolt of magic into the device, causing it to spit sparks and burst into shards. The Guard stared in shock at the broken equipment. I gave him a smile that I hoped was more sheepish than wicked. "Oops."

"Stand down, soldier," Shining Armor called out as he finally exited the train.

"But sir!" the Guard protested. "She broke the magic scanner!"

Shining chuckled. "Twilight is the Element of Magic, soldier. There isn't a scanner made that can test her power."

"Actually..." I began, at least three magical rating devices that could properly judge my abilities coming to mind immediately. I was interrupted in what would have been a very suspicion-divertingly Twilight speech by another pony emerging from the train.

"Twilight!" she cried, rushing towards me with the fluffy pink inevitability of an oncoming train with a poor paint scheme. Cadance, the greatest foal-sitter who ever lived. Princess of the Crystal Empire, wife of Shining Armor, sister in law. If I was unprepared for Shining Armor, Cadance was a curve ball heading straight towards me from a game I wasn’t even playing. The sparkle in her too-pretty eyes alone could power a home for weeks. They were filled with such honest delight that I was overwhelmed with an anger that froze my limbs. She wasn’t really happy to see me. But I wanted her to be.

Heh. You’d think I would be beyond such petty reactions by this point. That I would have habituated myself to subsuming them under a false persona. But, no, I’ve never really been able to get the hang of it.

You might be wondering why I felt this way, why I was so angry that Cadance was seeing exactly who I wanted her to see instead of the real me. Well, to answer that I’ll have to go back to the fact that I have all of Twilight’s memories, including her time with the greatest foal-sitter ever. I remember Twilight's feelings as if they were my own, and every time I remember Cadance those emotions come to the fore.

There's a kind of deep-seated reaction that Cadance brings out in me. It's something rooted in her time as Twilight's foal-sitter, in that magical period before she was Celestia's student, before she had fully vanished into her studies. Cadance was a friend, I suppose, but she was something more too. It's more than that she was part of my childhood. My feelings for her are stronger than they are for Shining Armor or Twilight's parents.

Perhaps it is the fact that she's an Alicorn. Winged unicorn, whatever. Perhaps in my mind she has been twisted up with Celestia, and all the intensity of that relationship. I wouldn't be surprised. But I don't fear Cadance like I do Celestia. I don't think she wants to kill me.

No, what I feel when Cadance is around is jealousy. Not of her, but of Twilight. Of Twilight's relationship with her, that I can only imprecisely mimic. I can't have that kind of... closeness. I am doomed to be held at length, a mirage of someone she used to know.

It's strange, I know, but it's not the only thing I envy Twilight for. And it doesn't hurt nearly as much as her greater skill with magic. Oh, yes. Nothing else hurts that much.

All of this flashed through my head in the moments it took for her to run up to me. When she suddenly dropped low to the ground, I was so caught up in the shock of the moment that I almost forgot the ancient ritual of greeting that failure to observe had, not so long ago, started the outing of another impostor.

Fortunately, I did manage to remember myself in time.

"Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake," we said in rough tandem. The steps of the dance came easily to me, a fortunate side-effect of the persistence of muscle memory. "Clap your hooves and do a little shake!"

Cadance laughed with the childish glee of doing something that violated her refined image, and I managed a nervous giggle of my own. "Cadance!" I said, then paused because I had no idea what to continue with. A standard-issue Twilight response was soon available. "I can't believe you're here!" Ugh, what a non-statement. The ultimate placeholder, banal in every respect. Yet it was definitely what Twilight would have led with, and it worked like a charm.

"Princess Celestia thought it would be best if I saw what was going on first hand," Cadance said, her smile dropping away.

"What is going on?" I asked, keenly interested in exactly how much they would tell me.

"We don't really know yet," Shining Armor said, giving his wife a significant look. "But we were hoping you could help us, Twiley."

The look Cadance gave Shining back spoke of more than a little marital strife, but she didn't contradict him. "Of course I'll help. Any way I can," I assured them.

"We got a report that there was some kind of dangerous, unnatural storm that nearly hit Ponyville a few days ago," Shining said.

"The report also said that you single-hoofedly saved Ponyville," Cadance said. The emphasis was clear, but I couldn't quite parse the meaning behind it.

Shining, however, knew exactly what the subtext was and the frown on his face said volumes about how much he cared for it. "Yes, you're always willing to dive head first into any problems."

"It's a good thing you're so resourceful that you can handle anything," Cadance said. They were barely looking at me anymore, too intent on their little not-so-private spat.

"But you really should be relaxing," Shining Armor replied.

"Am I missing something here?" Spike asked, leaning over to whisper in my ear.

"You and me both," I assured him.

"I'm sure you would relax, if it didn't leave ponies in danger!" Cadance snapped.

"It's a good thing it's under control then!" Shining practically shouted back at her.

As funny as this was, an emotional eruption here could only delay getting the two of them out of my mane. So I took a gamble. "Is this about the gang war in Canterlot?"

They froze mid-shout, giving me a worried look. "You... you heard about that?" Shining Armor asked.

"I just spent two weeks there," I said. "And I read the papers. It's kind of hard to miss."

Cadance gave Shining Armor another pointed look and he sighed in defeat. "It's about that," he admitted. "I'm sorry about dancing about the topic, Twilight, but I didn't want you to worry."

"I wasn't worrying," I said, deciding to apply a bit of pressure. "But now I'm not so sure. What's so bad that you and Cadance are getting into an argument over it?" This time both of them wore guilty little frowns, hesitating for way too long. "It's because of me, isn't it?"

"It's not your fault, Twilight!" Cadance rushed to assure me. "It's just... well we heard about how you had... um..."

"A mental breakdown?" I supplied.

She smiled apologetically and nodded. "We're worried about putting any more on you when you're already recovering from that."

"Cadance thought you would feel better helping," Shining Armor said. "But you're my little sister and I don't want you getting involved in some of this stuff. Especially with a murderer on the loose."

"The vigilante," I said. "You're afraid she'll come after me if I help?"

"We don't know what she'll do," he said. "Or how far this is going to go. If it's serious enough for Princess Celestia to ask for Cadance and I to help, you can imagine how bad she thinks it might get."

"I do want to help," I said, as earnest as I could be without looking too gleefully eager.

"You can help," he said. "By making sure you and your friends are alright."

"I... what? Are my friends in danger?"

There was another shared silence. Spike, of course, jumped straight to the inevitable conclusion. "We're in danger!" he cried out, his eyes darting about as if he was going to spot an assassin creeping up on us right then and there, in the middle of a trainful of the Guard.

"No, no! Of course not," Shining said. I gave him an incredulous look and he caved. "Maybe?"

"What kind of danger?" I asked.

"Remember the unnatural weather?" Cadance asked.

"You think that was a targeted attack," I said.

"We don't know," Shining said. "But there's a good bet it could have been. The report said you pulled a black crystal from the heart of the attacking cloud. Do you still have it?" I nodded. "We brought an expert on crystal magic. I want him to take a look at what you found before we leave."

"You think whoever sent that cloud will send others?"

"We don't know, Twilight," Cadance said, shaking her head. "I wish we did, then we could put you at ease or let you get prepared. All we can say is that Princess Celestia has asked that you stay in Ponyville with the other bearers of the Elements of Harmony."

"The Elements," I repeated. "She's protecting her trump card."

While Cadance and shining Armor were clearly unhappy with that statement, neither argued it. "There's a dark power in Canterlot," Shining Armor said. "The Princesses have sensed it, and they said it was getting stronger. Princess Celestia said that if we can't stop it, the Elements might be the only thing that can."

"I see," I said. This, at least, told me that Celestia had recognized the black crystal for the threat it was, even if she didn't yet realize how it had to be fought. It was a baby step, but at least it was in the right direction. I let out a dramatic sigh. "Well, I still want to help. I can help with organizing patrols, or researching evidence, and I can do a real mean data-analysis!"

They chuckled at that. "Just take it easy, Twiley," Shining Armor said. "I'm not too proud to ask for my little sister's help when I need it, but let's wait until I actually need it, okay?"

I gave him a disappointed little nod. "Okay, I'll try to not worry about you now."

"I didn't want..." he began, but Cadance gave him a light smack with her wing. "I mean, thank you, Twilight."

"You're welcome. Now, I've got the crystal back at the library. I'll teleport ahead and get it ready. Spike, can you make sure they make it to the library without getting Pinkie Pie’d?"

"Oh, sure, give me the hard job," Spike snarked. "No promises."

"Do your best," I said, then teleported away without another word.

Comments

[lordofmyth]

.i kinda spotted a flaw in this narrative........... luna. i am pretty sure luna would notice the tiwlight is not tiwlight.......... and i am still triny g to understand what hse is then.

[Reese]

...These chapters are just so short. I want to know what happens next! :D

[Lelouch Vi Britania]

4170118
Why Luna? If twi can fool shining and cadance, who've known her for years, how would Luna, who hasn't known her near as long, figure it out?

[lordofmyth]

4170227 becaquse luna accesses dreams. more than likely, since both sweetie belel and scootaloo had aid at night, she keeps an eye on the mane six. makes since considering what they did for her.
even if she does not personally know tiwlight, she could possibly tell that her mind is not the same anymore. a simple peak into the dream and her secret is laid bare.

[lordofmyth]

4170227 unless it turns out that tiwlight actual mind is tarpped in the subconcious abnd is constantly dreaming.......... unlikely but possible.

[Lucky Alchemist]

4170118
One: check you grammar dude.
Two: what do you mean Luna would know?

[ferret]

Not-Twilight doesn't dream.

[lordofmyth]

4170425 all the more evidence itself. whether the nature of the mind has changed or if there is a void where dream should be, luna would get suspicious.

[Lelouch Vi Britania]

4170258
Twilight has been exhibiting obvious psychopathic tendencies, and psychopaths do not dream.

[lordofmyth]

4170495 ..............pretty sure that does not apply to a world where the soul exists and such.

and all the more evidence if luna can no longer find tiwlight's dreams.

[Lelouch Vi Britania]

4170587
what does a soul have to do with dreaming? And why would Luna go looking for twilight's dream? If what I'm getting from the show is correct, she seeks out nightmares in order to help the dreamer get over fears and what not. If twilight is not having a nightmare, I see no reason for Luna to seek out her dreams.

[lordofmyth]

4170613 .........because twilight and her friends aved her from demonic possession? even if duties prevented her from being more pesonal in her thanks, i think she would want to keep an eye on them.

[Lelouch Vi Britania]

4170622
OK, so going under the assumption that for whatever reason Luna is actively monitoring the dreams of the mane 6. She notices that twilight, the obsessive book worm -who tends to not get a whole lot of sleep-, isn't dreaming. Not all that strange. If twilight is having odd dreams, lets not forget she just had a mental break down, she's likely to be a little mixed up for a bit. Also, lets not forget about the GANG WAR that Luna is likely very busy dealing with.

[PiMan]

4170495
Tendencies do not define a psychopath, at least not conclusively. And the tendency for psychopaths to not dream is not universal.
All we know about neo-Twilight and dreams is that she didn't dream on one particular night. We also know that original Twilight didn't dream much. (The first person narration means that one or both of these assertions could be wrong, and that she simply doesn't tend to remember her dreams at all once awake)

[lordofmyth]

4170791 ........... i am pretty damn sure that the nature of the dreams is the problem. it is not tiwlight consciosness in control here, and thus the mind likely is very, very different to what luna would expectt. even with a gang war she would keep a look out for the mane six........... maybe even becase of it.
i think there is a difference btween somenoe not being asleep and someone just not being there period. only other possiblity for that i think would be death, and luna would know tiwlight is veyr much alive.

[lordofmyth]

4170854 more than likely dreams occur, or at the very least luna could find twilight in the dreamscape even if her dreams are not active. if she is either compleltly missing or if her dreams are not.......... tiwlighty, i think luna would be quite concenred.

[Lelouch Vi Britania]

4170888
ignoring the gang war and everything else then, twilight still had a mental breakdown, which could definitely cause some strange dreams. And besides all of this, what kind of dream could she have that would make luna think that the psyche of twilight sparkle is gone and that she's been replaced by this pseudo-twilight? sometimes weird dreams are just weird dreams.

[ferret]

Not Twilight's not a psychopath I don't think. One of the primary characteristics of those people is an inability to perceive long term benefits, especially that of relationships. Notlight is weaving an immensely complex and long standing web of schemes and machinations, largely detrimental to herself on the short term, so that would indicate the part of her brain that tracks committment to its logical outcome hasn't failed yet. If I had to pin a disorder on her it'd be Borderline Personality Disorder. Complete loss of self image, impulsive behavior, unstable relationships, suicidal risk taking, and constantly afraid of being the villain after all. Most people with BPD have it their entire life, generally from their unchecked parents beating the self image out of them, but there are some who come upon it later in life. A psychopath would be Twoface, but Notlight? She's Batman.

[amiamera]

Well, I can say I've enjoyed this immensely. It's interesting to watch NotTwilight become addicted to the more real version of dark magic and her descent into what depths she's going. I'm curious what she says to Dash and why. Also, I was right about who she was talking to and I'm the 200th up vote :)

[iloveportalz0r]

The sensor turned towards me, running it's detection magic over my body.

*its

"I just spent two weeks there," I said. "And I read the papers. It's kind of hard to miss."

I am curious: is 'read' supposed to be pronounced 'red', or 'reed'? Both interpretations work (my guess is 'red')