Ponyville & Other Poems

by AugieDog

9 - Rhapsody (hendecasyllables)

I sing now of Ponyville! Praise to its name!
My spot of redemption, the spot where the blame
Of centuries' arrogance washed from my sides
As surely as seas sweeping out with the tides!
Illumined by friendship, that glow from within,
The town and its ponies denuded my sin
And welcomed me back when I'd long gone astray,
Uncertain and lost to the light of the day!

A stone had a better existence than I,
Ensconced in my exile, for stones cannot cry
And rage with all impotence, shrieking, insane.
Resounding excuses and threats through my brain,
I stormed as both maelstrom and ship, tempest-tossed,
Despair digging deep for the world I had lost:
The trust of my people, my ponies, and you,
Celestia, sister, as pure as the dew.

Obscenities—echoing, foul, and disturbed—
Arose there like flowers as seldom I curbed
My temper to cultivate anything but
The falsehoods that filled me and clenched my mind shut.
I called you the villain, but not you alone:
All ponies were monsters in blood and in bone.
Ignoring and slighting me, they were the things
That needed correction, that needed my stings.

I had no sensation of time trickling past.
Absorbed in my sorrows, I played the outcast,
Unwanted, unloved, and all misunderstood:
My actions in my mind were nothing but good.
Delusional, yes, but what's worse, unashamed:
Acknowledging fault in all others, I blamed
My deeds on their actions, their flaws, their ennui
Without any thought that it might just be me.

Creatively bankrupt, I couldn't admit
How lost I'd become in self-doubt, too unfit
To exercise truly the duties my post
Demanded. Instead, I grew angry, engrossed
In trivial matters of status and rank—
And "rank" in this case means the same thing as "stank"!
My foolishness that of a child—nay, a brat!—
I sought all outside me for things to combat.

Until on that night, hollowed out and unwell,
I shattered and cracked like some poorly-cast bell.
A lunatic, ignorant, blinded, enraged,
Obsessed with escaping, I kept myself caged,
Awaiting my chance to return all afire
With madness, destruction my only desire.
The world had so wronged me, I knew in my heart,
Equestria had to be taken apart.

Ideas absorbed from some dusty romance,
I crashed into Ponyville, took up my stance,
Let peal my maniacal laughter and shout—
And doomed my pretensions. Of that, there's no doubt.
The shell that entombed me, the lies I embraced,
They crumbled against the true power I faced.
Unbalanced, I needed a push—nothing more—
To shatter me, gasping and sprawled on the floor.

In seeking perfection, I lost all I had.
Accepting their flaws, these six friends beat me bad.
Defeat was a victory—mine, yours and theirs:
I needed a kicking, and these were the mares.
Undaunted, resilient, enchanting, and strong,
They showed me quite clearly how far I'd gone wrong.
The lesson they taught there to welcome me home
Will flourish within me wherever I roam!

Author's Note:

The pertinent definition of "rhapsody" in this case is An exalted or exaggeratedly enthusiastic expression of feeling in speech or writing. 'Cause if that doesn't sum up Luna, I don't know what does. As for the word hendecasyllable, it's just a fancy Greek way of saying that each line has eleven syllables in it: the meter here, is you want another fancy phrase for it, is anapestic tetrameter acephalectic.

Comments

[HyperBlossom7]

Reading this right after reading Past Sins, I can't help but think this is about Nyx. Am i right in saying this?

[AugieDog]

3625971

Just plain ol':

Princess Luna, actually.

Here, though, is where I shift uncomfortably in my seat and admit that I've never managed to finish "Past Sins." I've tried three or four times, but the way Pen Stroke structures the scenes in the first couple chapters kicks me so hard in the head, I just can't continue. I'm sure it's because he wants to get to Nyx actually showing up in the story, but the way he rushes through the opening, it's as if he's deliberately trying to dispel any possible suspense, and that just makes me grind my teeth.

Mike

[HyperBlossom7]

3626554

Well I'll tell you something, the way he writes is brilliant. When he does get to Nyx, you get so close to her. And then he rips your heart out and you start crying your eyes out for the next several chapters. That happened to me. I didn't stop crying til close to the end...

[AugieDog]

3627121

Maybe I should try:

Starting in the middle this time and see about plunging on from there.

Mike

[HyperBlossom7]

3627208 Well if you're gonna do that start at Chapter 2 at least

[Lurks-no-More]

The very first line, and not only is there no question whatsoever who is speaking here, but in nine words you establish her voice. Smoooooooth!

[AugieDog]

3810815

Luna's voice is what demanded a rhapsody as well as the tumbling rush of that eleven-syllable line and the rhyming couplets. And, well, when the princess demands something, who am I to say no?

Mike

[Corejo]

God, I love anapestic tetrameter. I think it's funny how English is considered iambic (and yea, I do hear it often enough to agree), but it's just mind blowing how much more fluid anapestic always sounds, like it was the true meter we as humans were designed to speak in. Another great one here.

On a side note, you always blog about your non-pony adventure stories and whatnot, but do you happen to have any poetry collections published?

[AugieDog]

5157129

Thanks!

There's nothing like the rush of that triple-beat rhythm. It's just way too much fun to let tumble out.

As for poetry, I won a sonnet contest a couple years back, but it was a straight cash prize with no publication involved. No, the only other place I indulge in poetry is in my webcomic Terebinth. The characters have actually been discussing it a lot lately--I've been doing this whole "metatheater" thing the past few years where the characters are convinced that I'm not doing the comic anymore, and it lets me get all philosophical about the nature of comics and art and stuff. And that means I make them do a lot of poetry: start with page 1,200 from last April and continue on from there if you want to see the horror of characters arguing in sonnet form...

Mike