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Twilight agreed to go to a concert with Trixie for their date. However, she failed to pay attention to one small, tiny, little detail. It's a death metal concert.
Bound by her word, she begrudgingly goes to the concert with Trixie, despite her distaste for such a "morally degrading and rebellious" style of music.
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Cute
Not too shabby, here. I did like the bit about 'grammar lessons'.
All this time I was picturing this song going
3435273 Why thank you :) Twilight and trixie make a humorous couple
3435283 :) I like that song. lol, I was ponifying the band Heaven Shall Burn for this story
3435326 I had a feeling. Just when I think ponies and death metal, Dethklok's Thunderhorse comes to mind.
I really liked this one. Other than a few minor grammar issues I caught, I think this fic was just really good.
3435283
You should put an
"WARNING: EPILEPTIC SEIZURES MAY OCCUR BY PRESSING PLAY
label on that thing!
3435453 There is one! The guy who made it put it in the description of the video
3435449 Thanks :) I'm my own proofreader so I miss a few things here and there, but I'll work on improving my grammar
3435472 Definitely do that. I would offer to preread for you, but I'm already doing it for ten other people. If you're still doing it by yourself next time I'm free from work, I'd be happy to help.
never took twilight to be a metal head. i now have so much more love for her
HELLYEAH!!
3435758 Ikr! This story was so much fun to write!
3435788
Very good sir. Very good indeed. I must say though, I have one upped you slightly. Whereas you've provided us an excellent little premise within this one shot, I maybe did the same, but within a section of my own story that deals with our favorite purple unicorn...
Nothing quite like Avenged Sevenfold on Halloween night.
Regardless, my compliments for the tale, sire.
3436942 Yep, avenged sevenfold beats me ;) I was actually gonna use them as the band for this fic originally, but I was afraid other people would have done that already.
Dude, this has gone right to the top of my read-later list. I'll get to it when I wake up in a few hours.
Anyway, you may/not be interested in my own fic, These Flowers Never Bloom. It's an origin story based around the concept of a Make Them Suffer album (Australian Deathcore band).
3438409 I love you. Australian hardcore bands are my favourite! Especially Parkway Drive
3438623
I WAS, I AM, I SHALL BE, very impressed with this story. You got the attitude of the moshpit down pretty well and I loved how Twilight ended up loving the atmosphere and having so much fun. Reminds me of the first time I took my cousin to a gig.
A couple of suggestions though. I don't think CSB should have opened for their own show. Maybe write a small paragraph about how the first bands set the tone for the final act. You could have "Among The Herd" (a ponified brony artist), or even "Legion Of Tartarus (The Damned)" or other similarly ponified Euro thrash/death band. Also,
I think you could chuck in a line like "as the show progressed" in this paragraph, because it seemed like CSB were instantly playing their final song. I know time must have passed, but it isn't made very obvious. for all we know, Trixie and Twi's dialogue could have occurred at the start of the show, or a few moments in at least.
I liked the banter between the two to open the story as well. Imagining Twixie's pouting, pleading face made me lol.
edit: disregard my sentence about the time-lapse, I completely missed the "Lull in-between songs" line.
My face looking at that single dislike is exactly the same as Twily's in the cover pic.
3442241 OMG, I. Know... haters gonna hate
Not much of a Twilight x Trixie person but there's Death Metal involved.
Wish you had a Debuchery song on here
3444113 Metal makes everything cooler!
3444127
\m/
Ugh, people who dislike without telling you why are obnoxious
It was a good read, I imagine something like this
3446696 As blood runs black is a terrific band. This was actually one of the songs that got me into deathcore.
3449089 Also a terrific band. That more on the true death metal side
Not bad, surprised there wasn't a romance tag due to it being a date, though asides from a few lines there wasn't really much couples stuff going on I guess. A decent one-shot.
3453534 Yea, I was debating the romance tag. But i figured since the story wasn't necessarily about their relationship, it didn't warrant the tag.
I think this was a good story, but it almost seemed as if she enjoyed it almost instantly. Perhaps she could have been mixed up in a mosh pit when she didn't want to, which wouldv'e honestly been hilarious. However, I applaud you anyways.
I've had an idea, sorta like this for like half a year. Just sitting in my "Ideas" Folder. Not as heavy since my hardest stuff is Lamb of God, DethKlok, Slayer BUT! That doesn't mean I didn't like this. I quite enjoyed it. Though I would personally see Trixie liking metal that tells stories. The Judas Priest Nostradamus album.But, hey. That just me. Keep doin what you're doin.
3596542 Thank you
I based this on the band heavenshallburn, and they kind of have a storytelling aspect, but not as refined and epic as Judas Priest or others.
Thanks for reading it!
3596596
Oh yeah. No prob. But yeah. That friggin Nostradamus album. *Shivers* God I love it.
Very nice, I especially liked the mosh-pit scene
Have a Metalshy
th07.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2013/048/8/6/flutterthrash_by_benprower-d5vays1.png
Yeah, when you go to a con-HOW THE HAY DID THEY BECOME A COUPLE?!?!!?!?
3752458 opposites attract
3752490 No I meant how did they come together from magic rivals to sexual tension lovers?
3752584 idk, use your imagination
Maybe I'm just partial to the genre of music, but that's why this is my first review for Slice Of Life
Let me be clear in my reviews firstly. I don't nitpick grammar... unless it's god awful. Otherwise I am looking strictly for story content and cohesiveness. Capiche?
So at the end the author clearly states this is their first time writing a one-shot. With that being said I'll be pretty lenient. The story's broken into two halves, the getting ready scene and then the concert scene. In a quick run down of events.
1. Trixie begs Twilight to go.
2. They have a little argument.
3. Trixie convinces her of the positives of metal
4. They go to the concert, yadda yadda
With the first scene, I can appreciate the tenderness between the two as they have obviously been in a relationship for a decent amount of time. This idea is presented fairly clearly early on.
The pacing does not feel rushed to me anyways, considering it's only a little over 3,000 words. I enjoy the fact that Trixie actually has some good honest reason to take Twilight, although there is the occasional guilt trip.
This sentence right here...
"Realization hit her like one of Rainbow Dash's crash landings."
I know I said I wouldn't gripe but it read kinda weird for me.
With that being said, there's nothing really else I can pick on as far as coherency. It's pretty well thought-out, especially the band scene. I really like the idea of a metal band called "Celestia Shall Burn" although I know it's kinda ripped from another band.
I've actually tried to write a story similar to this style, and from my experience trying to get the reader to imagine music is EXTREMELY difficult. So to the author I say "Good On You!!"
The ending is somehwhat expected, but still kinda funny as well, hinting at something cloppy later on.
To end this review with a few things:
1. Short, sweet, gets a point across.
2. Cute moments
3. Funny moments
4. Definitely worth a minute of your time.
I have never heard metal in my life except for a single song by Tool. And I've certainly never been to any kind of music show.
Eh, I like this anyway.
I have a bad habit of letting your stories sit in my read later box. They're always exceptional, so this is obviously a habit I need to break.
3787029 Everywhere I go, you've been there already. You're stalking my future, Man!
3995725 I know, right?!
3995755 Eh, that's future Lightning's problem, I suppose.
Well I Say
i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6314909440/h1C4D045D/
awesome story. not a huge death metal fan, but awesome story all the same.
4832473 Lol, this was my second story. Old-school
OMG I love Heaven Shall Burn. <3
Here are the songs that I were picturing playing (as you can see, there is actually a full playlist! And as the band is not bound by the laws of probability as this world knows them, these songs could totally make up a playlist!):
I enjoyed it! \m/