• Member Since 16th Sep, 2013
  • offline last seen Dec 13th, 2019




This is my first story its the complete life of sweete belle if it turns out ok I might make other foals storys but im still trying to get a feel for this my goal is to make a giant fic oh and this is for you all /).
(Got a new editor)

Chapters (2)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 20 )

Umm, could you spell check the story description,
Normally i'm not one to care,
But it is pretty bad.

Came for the poorly-spelled description, stayed for the hilarious mental images of how a unicorn birth would result in many unexpected vagina-jabs.

Comment posted by Grusome6 deleted Nov 1st, 2013

Ok, I can usually handle bad grammar, but this is just ridiculous. For christ's sake, get an editor

I'll get to it sometime I hope you liked the story at least

Maybe I should leave them up they get me noticed lol but ill fix it and at that point the horn is dull so it shouldn't hurt or some I'm assuming if not ouch any ways I hope you at least are enjoying the story oh and please let me know if I should continue.

By all means continue the story,
And if people start to hate,
Simply slap them with a muffin and continue anyways.

:,( sorry lol but I do need an editor if you want the job but again please be patient with me

Thank you and as I told some pony else if u know a editor I could email my stuff to that would like to help me don't hold out on me or you could do it if you like :)

While i do fancy myself to have "ok" grammar,
I am by no means an editor, one thing i will point out however,
I believe it's *Sweetie Belle*

I figured I was doing that wrong drat and you could probably do it

I do believe there are several groups made for authors who wish to gain an editor,
I suggest joining one.

3430908 Sorry. I didn't mean to sound like a bitch. With better grammar and the help of an editor, this has promise. If you were to put this on Google Docs I would do it for you. I was good enough to get into the Good Grammar Directory, if that qualifies for anything.

I wasn't hurt well I was but not that badly lol you could send me a private message to me and I could email it to you when I finish the next one to be honest it wont be for a while but thank you for wishing to help me. I hope I don't dishonor my favorite cmc

I think this is a great story! You just need an editor.

I did have one but things didn't work out I'm afraid my abilitys to inspire the masses with my literary art ad rather limited so I do not wish to dishonor miss Belle with continuing such a story I have tried to fix it but like I said my literary abilitys are rather lacking unless I can find a skilled editor that can aid in my story then I'm afraid I have no choice then to stop this story. I'll practice and try to better my writing and post more story's maybe when I have more skill I can return to this story.

chapter 1 done. this seems like it could be a good story if it's ever continued, but your missing A LOT of punctuation. I could help with that if you'd like.

nice job slipping Derpy in there :derpytongue2:
I think with a little work the part with the apple family could become more emotional. if you'd like I could edit that part separately and send it in to see what you think.

guess it didnt transfer when I sent you this. you need to indent each paragraph

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!