• Member Since 27th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Sep 16th, 2016

Dreammare


Hi, I'm Dreammare and my favorite mare is fluttershy. Even though I'm here, most of the time I will be reading fanfics or just making horrible ones.

E

It's Rainbow Dash's birthday and she gets an unexpected surprise.
(First fanfic, feel free to express your feelings, XD)

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 24 )

You're not serious. You can't be serious.

304146
Oops, forgot to set to complete, XD.
Thanks for reading this fanfic and be sure to Watch! (If you want to. For any other upcoming suckish fics!) :moustache:

I want to kill myself from all the grammar problems

304168
Well, I'm not very good at grammer. I will improve the moar I write I guess?:pinkiesmile:

304178 Or you can always get a proofreader. They're very helpful.

304183
But if I get a proofreader, they'll ruin Celestia's letter:twilightoops:

304198 "Hello, Rainbow Dash we want you to meet us at the apple family's farm for a very, very, serious matter... in exactly one hour."

PROOFREADING POWERS, GO!

"Hello, Rainbow Dash. We want you to meet us at the Apple family's farm for a very, very serious matter...in exactly one hour."

And I kinda figured the Princess Molestia letter was a joke.

Not sure if troll-fic. :applejackunsure:

I>>304183
I might get a proofreader though, just gonna leave it here like this for now :P.

304216 Alright. You can have me as a proofreader, if you wish. Also, I give you a thumbs up. Just cause I can. :ajsmug:

Interesting. I usually read the stories featured in that box. Not from the front page because alot of them are... bad. No offense but some of them are just failed experiments. Probably one of the few that i like. I should be making one of myself in my times in 'Nam but i'm sure it won't attract attention.

"Never forget, the vietnam vet"

304164 That ending was buckin' funny.

Z

Lul at the end. And hey, ignore the down votes, I'll bet five bits half of 'em are from people who have never even written a fanfic. :scootangel: :derpytongue2:

Too short but well done

Cool story :pinkiehappy:

304216 I have appointed myself to become your proofreader. Now, to begin. :pinkiehappy:

-You said things such as "Moving on" and "Oh, I already stated that, huh" This would have been fine, had your fic been entirely in quotation marks, with single quotations around the characters speaking. Then it would have been like someone was telling the entire story, not just writing it, leaving room for accidental comments and the like.

-You made references to modern things, like Lucky Star. I myself love the show, but they had to use a book to bring Daring Do to life. If they had TV, Daring Do most likely, being the popular series it is, would have had its own show. through this, they would have just been able to hire an actor.

-You talked about "Princess Molestia." While I despise Rule 34 as well, talking about Princess Molestia in your fanfic about Daring Do and Rainbow Dash doesn't make much sense. It doesn't really fit in with the story. Also, you made Princess Celestia have bad grammar in the letter. She's the Princess, and she's teaching TWILIGHT. She's have good grammar and spelling.

-To finish, some things could have been longer and more descriptive, such as the recapture of Daring Do and the chase after the letter.

I hope this helps... Sorry if it made you feel bad. :derpytongue2:

305353

Thanks, You didn't make me feel bad at all.
Thanks for the support!

(Edit: By the way, for the actor part. I was thinking about that. Just didn't know how to put it in.)

304526 304617
Thanks! Never knew it would make people laugh, (or make them even close to smiling.)
For how horrible the story was, XD.

hmmm the fun and the swag have been doubled i watches you sir:coolphoto:

Ok...:rainbowderp::facehoof::unsuresweetie:
that was...cute:rainbowhuh::rainbowkiss:

304168

Really, REALLY late response, but I have an excuse...
Iphone
Deer,

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