RariTwi Group Collab

by Anonymule

Mom, Stop! by Anonymule

Mom, Stop!

By: Anonymule

~~~~~<>~~~~~

“… Alright, and will that conclude your order, Miss?”

“Rarity and yes it will.” The aforementioned mare politely responded to the hostess who had taken her and her mother’s order at the small café by Ponyville’s market place. While waiting for their food to arrive, Rarity and her mother entertained themselves with idle chitchat. The two of them went from topic to topic. They conversed on her father nearly killing himself at the gym when he tried to show off to a young stallion in order to prove himself. Celebrity gossip was also a topic of discussion as well as Sweetie Belle nearly feeding herself to the timber wolves, again. Rarity was having quite the time with her mother. Usually these little get togethers were ruined by her mother’s probing and nosiness into Rarity’s personal life. Often her mother’s probing started innocently enough, such as asking about her recent clients, and how the business was doing but these questions gave way to others that were a great deal more private. Rarity often dreaded going into town with her mother, who often would try to set her up with any pony her mother felt would be a good fit for her. She knew her mother only meant the best but at times, her mother could be very tiring.

“I’m sorry to interrupt your conversation ladies but I have your food with me.” The hostess said, carrying a tray on her back.

“It’s fine, deary, my daughter and I were just were just chatting.” Pearl stated with a smile.

Nodding at the pair, the hostess took the tray in her mouth before placing it on the table. She took the first plate with the house salad along with a glass of red wine and passed them to Rarity. An order of lasagna with a glass of water was soon placed in front of Pearl. She exchanged pleasantries with the mother and daughter, before taking her leave to help other customers.

Rarity took the glass of wine in her magic and welcomed the chilled liquid down her throat…

“Don’t you think it is a bit early to be drinking, hun?” Pearl interrupted as she took a sip of her own beverage.

Rarity sighed, “No mother, I’m only having a glass or two at most and it is an absolute crime to have this particular salad without a glass of wine.”

“Alright, Rarebear, I believe you but I said to your father that I would only have a glass or two of wine and we wound up with Sweetie Belle.” Pearl finished with a snicker.

“Mother, will you please stop!” Rarity groaned exasperated at her mother’s quips. Her mother did stay quiet for a few minutes, much to her relieve.

“So…” Pearl trailed off as she bit her lip.

“So… ?” Rarity could only dread what her mother would say next.

“Meet anypony special lately?” Pearl asked her daughter with a saucy grin.

“Mother, we’ve been over this already.” Rarity said sharply with her trademark pout appearing on her face.

“Dear, you’re going to end up alone with a bunch of cats if you aren’t careful. Every day your maternal clock ticks away and if you wait too long, you know what’s gonna happen?” Pearl questioned her daughter who had long since put her head down on the table.

“What mother, what’s going to happen?” Rarity grumbled from underneath her mane, eyeing the cherry-oak that made up the table.

“Boom, menopause,” Her mother motioned with her forehooves. “After that you will start hoarding cats among other things. Then your friends won’t talk to you anymore because you smell like cat pee.” Pearl put her forehooves to her hips, frustrated with her daughter’s lack of forethought.

“Ugh,” Rarity only groaned as she attempted to embed herself within the table.

“What about him?”

No longer willing to argue with her mother, Rarity decided to humor her mother and looked to see that her mother had pointed to a familiar face.

“Mother, no, that is Big Macintosh, the older brother of a dear friend and he is off limits.” Rarity said in a stern tone of voice.

“Wouldn’t hurt to try… ”

“Mother, the last mare to try and court Big Macintosh was chewed out by Applejack in the middle of the farmer’s market. She is very protective of him. The poor mare that Applejack confronted nearly soiled herself before she ran away crying.” Rarity steadfast by her point and crossed her forelegs over her chest.

“What about a nice mare then? It’s okay if you’re into mares, your father and I wouldn’t mind.” Pearl smiled as she wiped her muzzle clean with a napkin.

If Rarity’s eyes could roll any harder, she was sure to tear her optic nerve right in two. This time she didn’t even answer her mother and just laid her head down. She felt a hoof on her back and turned to see who it was, but before she could see her vision became blocked by a wall of purple.

“Hey sexy, you stopping by my place tonight?” Twilight Sparkle spoke as sensually as she could manage. Rarity found herself dumbfounded by what had just happened. Her shy and courteous librarian friend had just kissed her on the lips!

“Twilight… what?” Rarity stammered, her jaw had yet to reach the ground but Rarity knew of its descent.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Twilight stunned the white mare further by licking her lips.

“Oh, shame on you, Rarity, for not telling me about your little marefriend,” Pearl chided.

Rarity had finally managed to compose herself before speaking. “Sorry mother, if you will excuse me for a moment, I need to have a chat with my friend.” Rarity nearly yelled after making sure to emphasize the word ‘friend’.

“Okay you two, but be back soon, you and I have a lot to do with today.” Pearl was so giddy with joy she nearly squealed.

Rarity led Twilight to the alleyway that was beside the café. She turned to face Twilight, her face more cross than the eyes of a certain blonde mailmare

“Just what, in the wide world of Equestria was that!” Rarity hissed viciously at the mare who stole a kiss from her in front of her mother.

“I was joking Rarity, Rainbow Dash dared me to and—”

“Rainbow Dash dared you? Regardless, since when are you the type of pony to take on a dare?” Rarity aimed her horn at Twilight’s jugular vein.

“Heh, well, um… somehow Rainbow got a hold of the next book in the Daring Doo series and before I could read it she said I would have to find a way to embarrass you, so… ” Twilight trailed off and backed up from the sharp horn pointed at her throat.

“A book!? You kissed me in front of my mother for a—” Rarity cursed “—book? I couldn’t have cared less if the book was written by Princess—” she cursed a second time “—Celestia herself! What you’ve just done was completely uncalled for!” Rarity stared darkly at Twilight for a moment before turning away from her in an angry huff.

“I’m sorry, Rarity. I didn’t know it would upset you so much.” Twilight apologized and reached out to her angered friend. “I’ll do anything I can to make it up to you.”

Rarity sighed deeply before meeting Twilight’s eyes again. “You’re close to Princess Celestia, are you not? Because, I need to ask you for a big favor.”

Twilight sighed in relieve. “Well yea, beside Luna and Cadence, I’m probably the closest to her; why, what do you need?”

“Oh, I don’t know, perhaps a royal pardon,” Rarity’s left eyelid twitched.

“Royal pardon? Why would you need one of those?” Twilight raised an eyebrow at her friend’s odd request.

“Because, I’m about to kill a mare and wouldn’t want to wear an orange jumpsuit that would clash so horrendously with my mane!” Rarity snorted and advanced on her target.

“N-Now R-Rarity, let’s talk about this.” Twilight backed herself in the corner of the alleyway.

“Also, Twilight—” Rarity spoke in a calm voice “—next time you for whatever reason try to kiss me, would you use a little less tongue?” Rarity smiled sweetly.

“S-Sure Rarity.” Twilight let out a short breath as she calmed down, thinking Rarity was only joking about the whole killing thing…

…At least until she saw Rarity lift a large stone with her sapphire blue magic.

~~~~~<>~~~~~

Author's Note:

I am aware the canon names of Rarity's parents have changed but, I will keep referring to them as Pearl and Magnum, because their canon names are kind of stupid to be completely honest.

~Anonymule

Comments

[Germgod]

...How does Rarity expect to get an royal pardon if she kills Twilight before she can request one?
Also, kind of an overreaction there.

[Anonymule]

4554490

Also, kind of an overreaction there.

We are talking about the same Rarity, right?
~<>~
Rarity would never kill Twilight with a blunt object, the blood would stain her coat and she wouldn't have that ;)

[Ponywubs]

what *i turn a corner and see rarity and a dead twilight* "rarity how could you she was you friend." *rarity turns to look at me* "darling if you tell anypony i'll kill you too, got it!"
*gulp* "yes ma'am!!"

but comedy aside is twilight really dead?

[Anonymule]

4568751
No, of course Twilight isn't dead, the stone was for Rarity's garden and Twilight was the fertilizer Twilight just got slapped.

[Ponywubs]

is that sarcasm? loo

[Snowdrifter]

About time Tom got a cameo...