• Member Since 7th Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

LostUmbrella


Hello, nice to meet you

T

Nightmare Moon was defeated by the mane six, but she didn't die. Here's what happened when she tried to get her revenge with the help of three particular fillies.

Set during season 1, short after the CMC had met.

Inspired by this image, all credits to the autor.

Rated teen for mild violence.

Chapters (11)
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Comments ( 41 )

Hmm, interesting...

By the way, I'm also working on a story that has some similarities. Check it: Black Angel

3425277

Yours looks nice too, I'll read it soon :twilightsmile:

And I thought I was the only one up so late.....

3531157

Unfortunately for you, here in Italy it's midday XD

This could get somewhat dark, but I'll trust the tone of the story won't change much since you haven't tagged it dark.
It's not amazing but I'm interested to see where you take this, and your chapters are short enough that I would be happy to add this to my reading list.

3591496

Yeah, I admit it'll get a bit less comedic by the end, even if not dark, just a bit more serious...

And I'm pleased someone likes my choice to keep the chapers short :pinkiehappy:

Preventing the CMCs from getting together might be a very bad idea.
I imagine that the Nightmare can't drive someone to evil, if they have something more important to them than the Nightmare's power.
The most important thing for Applebloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle is each other's friendship.

3591671
I'll be blunt. I prefer chapters maybe two or three times as long usually, but your story is not as good as most others I've favourited. I don't like your story as much, and so the shorter chapters work in your favour because I don't get bored before it is through.
Even though I've just said that your story is not as good as others I've read, I don't have any advice on improving it. Your spelling and grammar is not a problem (or at least, it certainly isn't holding your story back at all), and you're not making the mistakes that I've seen much worse fics make. The fic is somewhere between OK and good, but with no path for being great.

And now the sugar coating; you are still a better writer than I am by a long shot, and your 14-0 like-dislike ratio for this fic shows you must be doing something well enough.

A great treat? I think you mean threat. Other than that this chapter looks grammatically sound.

3602442 Have you considered adding this to the "Nightmare X" group?

3602442

Ops, thank you! :twilightblush:

3622539

No, nevere even heard of :twilightblush:

Dis gon b funny.:trollestia:

I'm rooting for trollestia

CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS: GOD SLAYERS, YAY!

I JUST LOST IT THERE! THE CMC GOD KILLERS? :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh: No but seriously I do like the little trio though.

Plan R?

..... They ran away should of known

3690207

R stands for run of course XD

Dun dun DÚÚÚÚN! Awesome part tough, I hope you'll update soon :pinkiesmile:

please let this happen.
the CMCs are rounded up by Celestia, who assures them that the Elements of Harmony are used when there's no other way.
the CMCs are taught about the Nightmare Djinn and realize that they just need their Cutie Marks.
Applebloom gets her Cutie Mark by building a scooter and wagon that could handle supersonic speeds.
Scootaloo gets her Cutie Mark by taking her friends on a supersonic ride.
Sweetie Belle gets her Cutie Mark in music.
After the Cutie Mark Crusaders get their Cutie Marks, Luna exorcises the Nightmare Djinn like any other bad dream.

3732057

Sorry to' disappoint you, but I seriously doubt we'll see their marks in this story :twilightsheepish:

Those are nice ideas though :twilightsmile:

3732249
An idea that doesn't involve Cutie Marks.
The CMCs are rounded up by Celestia, who assures them that the Elements of Harmony are used when there's no other way.
The CMCs are taught about the Nightmare and realize that the Djinn probably latched onto their desire Cutie Marks.
After Luna tells The Cutie Mark Crusaders that they don't need Cutie Marks to be special, their desire for them returns to normal and Luna exorcises the Nightmare Djinn like any other bad dream.

3732827

That's more like what I had in mind... You're reading my thoughts! :pinkiegasp:

3733650
I suspect that Luna may also have a "nice" talk with Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.
I can imagine Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon are partially responsible for this mess.
By bullying the Cutie Mark Crusaders about not having Cutie Marks, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon amplified their desire for Cutie Marks to several thousand times what it should be.

I would love to see one. Maybe have Nightmare Moon actually become the nightmare crusaders and trying to, hilariously, revert back to her normal self while the CMC try and teach her about true friendship perhaps?

A sequel really depends on how you end this. If Sweetie is freed as I expect her to be, then there isn't much a sequel could do, because the premise of the nightmare inhabiting foals has already been played out by this fic, and the nightmare inhabiting one of the adults wouldn't be as interesting.
The alternative I see is a slightly darker fic telling an alternate path where the Nightmare Crusaders succeed in dethroning the princesses in the first place, and the ramifications of that act.

I can think of two other possibilities.
First, and probably less interesting is Nightmare Tiara and/or Nightmare Spoon (you could play a laugh or two off that rhyming with moon).
Second is a sequel or spiritual successor where the crusaders get their hooves on the Alicorn Amulet. Just make sure you don't copy the fic where Sweetie Belle does just that (http://www.fimfiction.net/story/147878/evil-belle)

yes to a sequel

i wouldnt mind a sequal were nm was TURNED into a djinn trapped in a bottle.

if you feel it could use a sequel, do it! I'd like to see where you go with it. though... don't set up a sequel at the expense of the ending of this story.

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Good, it seems the idea is well received :twilightsmile:

And rest assured, this will absolutely end somewhere in the next chapter(s) :raritywink:, I simply plan on adding last, very short chapter after that to set a 'footing' for the sequel.

As for its contents, I won't spoil it :derpytongue2:

Great story, I had been searching all over for some Nightmare Belle as a change of pace from Nightmarity.

3797750

Seriusly I'm the only one? :pinkiegasp:

If that's the end, why is the fic still marked as incomplete?

3834950

Because, my dear friend, I forgot to change the status XD

Thanks for letting me notice :twilightsmile:

I'm so happy that nobody doesn't like this. :rainbowkiss:

This was an interesting story, I do wish the telepathy had stayed, that was useful. But can Scootaloo still fly without Night's power and is Applebloom still strong enough to buck apples???

4639849

Well, those were boons given by Nightmare, so they're gone with her influence. Yet, since those are things pretty normal for pegasi and earth ponies (or at least for The Apple family XD) they will be able to once again after growing a bit :twilightsmile:

4640941 good, because letting Scootaloo fly and then taking that away from her permanantly would be pure evil of you.

"Djinn: a creature with huge magical powers that can grant wishes," droned Sweetie Belle.

"What are you, a dictionary?" asked the mist.

Cutie Mark Crusaders Getting No Respect, Yay.

Liked it, not many stories with corrupted crusaders, even if it leave a open ending

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