• Published 20th Nov 2013
  • 2,411 Views, 33 Comments

FoE: Snippet Story - Windrunner

Set at various points in the Fallout: Equestria universe. Each chapter is intended to be a unique story unto itself. So many references, both ludicrously obscure and blatantly obvious. Even the title. No, not that. You will never figure them all out.

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Stable Dwellers Ragtime Downbeat (Promo Reel)


A white-coated unicorn wearing fancy business attire displaying the Stable-Tec logo and looking entirely professional is setting up an 8mm mint reel-to-reel projector in the projectionists booth at the back of the theater. A sign outside says 'Free entertainment today. Provided by Stable-Tec. Your conscientious public safety provider. Additional promotional consideration provided by Krastos Glue Manufactories Inc.' As the projector clicks and flashes to life the grainy picture begins to flicker on the white backing screen, scratchy sounding music starts to rise.

"Alright folks, in return for your upcoming free viewing of the new hit film Lollipops and Rainbows, Frolicking Unicorn United theaters presents this Stable-Tec public pony service message." He fiddled with a knob on the projector to bring it into focus.

"Hello, and welcome to this Stable-Tec promotional reel, prospective apocalypse survivors! We regret that our director of P.R. Miss Sweetie Bell will not be joining us for this promotion, saying quote:

"I won't have anything to do with this. Why are you doing it anyway? I never asked for this, and I didn't sign off on it either."

"The frowny face now displayed on the screen shows how much this saddens us, but on with the show." A band comprised of two pianists, a violinist and various backing players appears on the screen.

"We have a real treat for you today, pony and other folk. A genuine ragtime band. Also, some random green unicorn with a lyra that we pulled in off the street whom nopony seems to be able to recall the name of suddenly or even remember is in this film except when looking directly at it, but trust me the music is great! Here we go, now put your hooves together for Well Tuned and the Sharp Notes." Some pony with a heart shaped microphone as a cutie mark began to sing as the band piped up a sad yet upbeat tempo:

Will it be safe out here? Well you should think twice again oh my dear. Now you don't want to live in fear, so why don't you live down inside of here? You may think this is sort of weird, but it sure beats staying out and getting seared. It's a question we ask. We are up to the task. Come live right on down inside here. Our walls are four hooves thick, you can bet that you just won't get sick. Better a house of brick, than one made of useless old stick. You should decide real quick, come on make your pick, just listen to all of our schtick. What will come on down could almost flatten the town, knocking you round, pounding you right into the ground.

This may not all seem sound, but trust me it's best all round. Come on down right inside of here. You'll love what all we have, it is not so bad. You should try not to look so very sad. It will be tot'ly rad, there is so much to be had, come on down inside here. Even those with crowns should try not to wear frowns. Why we even have merry-go-rounds. So pick up your tail and then we'll all set sail to a bright day way on down the line. We know that you'll have fun when all is said and done. So come on down inside of here. Then we'll lock you in where you'll be safe within without a care in the entirety of the world. You will dance and spin and then you'll twirl and grin and say we love it way down in here.

'3 Bar Instrumental Break' Was displayed on the screen.

"I knew we grabbed that unicorn for some reason." The projectionist whispered to himself. The audience looked on, mesmerized by the melody she played. As the sad and very forlorn looking unicorn with the heavy instrument strummed she closed her eyes, losing herself in the magical sounding music. The slightest of smiles graced her face as she played, finally taking a bow. After her brief interlude everypony watching soon forgot she had ever been there. The song continued into its ending notes:

Now we know just what it is you'll say. That there simply is not any way. For those big bombs to rocket off. Causing aftershocks and blowing off all your socks. To leave nothing but the ever glowing rocks and destroy all of the docks. Preparing is best. No matter the test. So easy you'll rest down inside here. (END) Displayed as the pianos struck their final notes while the picture faded to a great Stable-Tec door then died down.

The pianos trailed off as the pony wearing the polished business attire stepped up in front of the screen.

"Thank you for your attention everypony. Should any of you wish to try and attain a slot in a Stable-Tec wartime safety stable just head on in to a registry office in your area. Space is limited, so the sooner you apply the more likely you will receive a position. We are looking for everything from plumbers to technicians and artists. Ponies from any walk of life may apply." An earth pony mare walked in from the side and whispered in his ear then trotted off as quickly as she came in.

"I have just been informed a sky-cart parked behind the theater seems to have a malfunctioning spark battery which is spewing smoke. Would the pegasi that handle this cart please tend to it immediately." A couple of pegasi sitting in the back row hurriedly ran out the door followed by an immaculately dressed pearl colored unicorn wearing a monocle and top hat.

"Sorry about that interruption folks. One last thing before we play your free film. Any pony interested please remain in your seats after the show for an encore presentation of the short hit film Ultra Fast Ponies Going Very Fast. Nopony knows who filmed it or why, but I hear it is mighty fast. The theater will now present the film you have all been waiting for." The title credits for the movie by famed director I. Ron Butter Fly scrolled up onto the screen.


Wasn't that just a barrel'o'fun folks?

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