When Luna becomes the target of an attempt against the Equestrian Throne, it will take all the strength of a certain pony to confront and defeat not only the evil that threatens, but the fear he holds deep within himself. Will the magic of a Princess be enough to save him? Or will they both be dragged into the abyss of a dark conspiracy?
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I believe its called purgatory.
Love, it will not betray, dismay or enslave you, it will set you free.
Beautiful! Added this one to the LunaMac group!
All my yes. YES.
Good stuff! Keep it up!
Character development is very important.
It always seems to come down to status, doesn't it? The deeds or greatness can not truly be great unless it is by someone important.
I wonder how Luna will react when she finds out that Mac's teacher has the hots for him...
Finally got around to reading this; Love it so very much. LunaMac is my favorite ship... Damn fairytale romantic in me I suppose...
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About as well as can be imagined, I suppose.
Okay, you just made another convert to this pairing.
I've been putting off a review to see where the story went; so here we go.
It's good - your prose kinda drifts towards purple, but that's only a sin I recognise because I've had to take many Hail Mary's on it myself and I think Discord is a bit too nice after being kicked in the face (though the allusion to the time Capt. Sisko punches out Q was funny).
It's been explored in other fics that the nobility may not take kindly to one of their monarchs dating who they think below their station (see the insanity that Kate Middleton went through to marry Prince William for instance) and the kind of pressures a rapid elevation on social standing can bring. My suggestion would be for Big Mac to be put through his paces as an enlisted through the Equestrian Army, then once he's passed that he can be offered a commission to officer (see the Sharpe series for a good example of this) thus giving him legitimate standing as both a military officer AND a successful merchant.
Other than that, I like how it flows, the dialogue is if not spot on character at least feels natural within it's own narrative and frankly I'm a sucker for pairing the Princess of the Night with Ponyville's answer to Clark Kent.
Damn media vultures.
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Captain Sisko punched out Q? I didn't follow the series after season three so I never knew. At any rate, Discord's reaction felt natural because oft times the only way to deal with a bully is to earn their respect by standing up to them. Then again, knowing he can turn Big Mac into Mac and Cheese anytime he wants seems more a kind of acknowledgement to himself that he doesn't have to respond emotionally, ( i.e. over the top,) to every situation. Sort of like a kid growing up... which is how I always viewed Q. (Remember Trelane from TOS?)
As to Big Mac being required to "Prove Himself" by joining the military and earning his status by becoming an officer... Well Celestia has already spoken to that point. If nearly sacrificing his life doesn't prove his worth, than a piece of paper with a commission on it won't add anything to his status. As to gaining the trust of other ponies... As far as Luna and Celestia are concerned, its pretty much a done deal.
It's so very easy to hate him...
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Oh, and while I'm thinking about it, thanks for the input. Critiques are useful things when used to improve one's writing.
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Anytime, and while you did address the concerns I raised within dialogue, it isn't a wholly unfair objection in such a world. After all, as a member of the royal family he may be expected to fight if Equestria goes to war (since in ye' olde days it was not unheard of for minor princes to lead armies) so if nothing else, the military training would at least prepare him for such things and offer insight to matters which he may be asked to advise or give his opinion on. And as a prince, he may not be able to just go back to his farm and work.
That and being a fan of hard work, Mac may even like soldiering and would hardly be a bad idea to ingratiate himself with the Canterlot Guards by showing his mettle was not a one time affair.
Other than that, stellar work on making Prince Blueblood seem to easily transition from fop to scheming vizier over the course of the story.
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A scheming vizier is never much fun,
He will keep other ponies on the run.
His plots and his plan to usurp the state,
Will come to fruition if countered too late
Heraldry is fun. I like this chapter for truly; I'd request that you hurry with the next, but you update nearly every day - so I'll just say that I can hardly wait to see the next chapter!
Hurray! Now he just has to survive this latest attempt on his life and everything will be wonderful.
3424399 There a LunaMac group! Holy cow where was I?
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I only just discovered it when I wrote this story. Welcome to the club. LOL.
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Yes, all he has to do is deal with an insane, queen of the changelings and a scheming unicorn stallion while simultaneously fighting off something a bit more invasive than the common cold. This could be fun.
Ohhh! This looks good, bookmarking it!
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Let me know what you think of it. (INPUT... NEED INPUT)
Such Machiavellian intrigue that has befallen our protagonist couple! Is this the beginning of the end? Will Twilight be able to figure out the cure in time? Will this story ever cease to amaze me? Find out on the next exciting episode of "The Royal Apples"!
Hopefully that train has breaks. I can only hope that things turn out for the better.
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Breaks shall result if the train has no brakes.
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That sounds ominous.
Way to go Celestia! Show them pricks who's boss!
Oh noes! For the love of God, someone find a cure!
Also, congratulations on reaching the 60,000 word mark! Not very many authors do that around here. I can't wait for the next chapter; this is getting extremely exciting!
I hope they kill Blueblood and Chrysalis good and dead.
Good to see this story find its way here.
Well, it's nice to see the usurpers' plans go nonaccordingly. I can hardly wait to find out what happens next.
o_o
Well... Fuck. I honestly didn't see that part coming...
Here's hoping it all turns out okay in the end.
I've been wondering if it would be him or his spirit or something when he brought out the black crystal ring the first time.
Lovely action! I enjoyed Professor Pony and his interactions with Celestia in particular. This is such an enjoyable story
Well, now that Macintosh is up and about., I'm pretty sure that the bad guys are fucked. Still, this is pretty suspenseful. Here's hoping that Blue Blood gets stomped into a little puddle of blue mud.
Also, who are the two assholes that downvoted this? Really? Did they even read the story?
This story is great. I like how it's got plenty of action and down time to balance it out. Although, I would have like to have read a couple more dates between Big Mac and Luna.
I wonder if Nightmare Moon will be returning later in the story? Obviously Nightmare Moon would be different this time around as Luna would be in control and she wouldn't have her darker side being controled.
So... was King Sombra posing a Prince Blueblood?
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Well... All I can say is read tonight's installment.
That was pretty epic! :D
Big Mac attack
Best damn battle scene I've read in a while. Very nice. Very nice indeed. This makes us very happy. :3
Does this mean that Blueblood's horn is also shattered? Please tell me that it is - that would be justice well served.
I hope that this story isn't quite over yet, I'd like to see a dozen more chapters - but I feel that this is wishful thinking; in any case - this is an amazing story, and it should go down in the LunaMac hall of fame. All that's left to see is how this all winds down.
Awww! It's already OVER?! This was an awesome story.
This is one story I just can't seem to get enough of. I found it on another site and I think I've read it at least 3 times there, now here twice.
Very well done, and while I do hope you continue to work in this world you've created, that was the perfect end to this tale. :)
And thus the saga comes to a close. I must say that this is the best LunaMac story on the entire site, and I have thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Not only did you consistently update every 24 hours, but you provided a good quality and thus a good story, and, while the ending was rather abrupt, you have effectively left everything open ended for a series of offshoots and sequels. Think about it; you can now follow Blueblood as he attempts to reconcile himself to those he has inadvertently hurt. You can now follow Chrysalis on her road to mental recovery and perhaps even her trial. You should follow Macintosh as he comes to terms with to his new body, his new life, and his newly inherent immortality; how will he and his family react to the concept that he will effectively watch them grow up, grow old, and eventually die? You should also now follow Mac and Luna as they adjust to married life, and the child that is no doubt on its way. You can also follow Shadow Starlight and explore her relationship to Macintosh, and the underlying attraction she holds for him; can she come to terms with all that has played out? You can follow the main six as they interact with the newest royal family member; see what they make of it. You can even follow Discord as he gallivants around the capital, spreading mischief, just for a humor segment, which is about all you really need to do with him. You have dozens upon dozens of potential stories waiting to be unleashed, and it is all thanks to this magnificent work of literature rightly called "The Royal Apples".
I thank you for your hard work and dedication to this story, and I am looking forward to the next arc of the saga that you have so eloquently set up for. I hope that I have offered you some ideas, as you have so asked for, and above all else, I hope to see more of your work as a whole.
Sincerely,
Gustauve W. A. Drakenhime III
I sincerely hope that you do a follow up macicorn/ Luna fic.
It would be funny to see their foals causing trouble for Discord and
the other unmentionables from Canterlot.
This was a really great story and I hope there's a sequel as ther's so many unanswered questions.