• Member Since 12th Oct, 2011
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Holy shit you uploaded it here. Words cannot express how much I love this story! Will the remaining chapters be uploaded soon?

Read it before. Brilliant, all of it

Heck yeah, Romance Reports comes to FiMFiction! Love your work.

This is a pleasant surprise!
Glad to see it here :)

Fuck yes! Best thing ever. :twilightsmile:

awww our little twilights first step into perverse thoughts in public oh i cant wait to read the rest of this

Romance Reports? On MY FiMFiction?

MY BODY IS READY. :rainbowdetermined2:

read this on P.F.A. already:
ALL OF MY 5/5 !!!!!!:pinkiehappy:

It's been said before, but the characterizations in this story are almost unmatched in the FIM fanfic universe. I particularly love how well we see into the hearts and minds of the other ponies, despite being limited to Twilight's perspective.

The use of the present tense is curious and unorthodox, though it fades from perception after just a few minutes of reading. I'm not sure if it's a net positive or negative for the story.

And finally, your use of adjectives is inspiring. Snappy, emotive and insightful. I particularly like when you use words to give emotional weight to otherwise non-emotional subjects (a 'lonely' flower in a soda can vase; Twilight's stomach was 'shocked' into silence').

The story is, of course, wonderful as well. I'm glad to see relationships being treated as the volatile, dangerous creatures they are, rather than simply an excuse to ship characters together for the reader's enjoyment.


Wow, wasn't expecting so many kind words. First time on here and all. Thanks, everyone!

11857 I should get the rest posted here later today.

Awesome. More exposure for the single best shipping FiM story, period.
And the hot sex isn't bad either :derpytongue2:

I've been following this story for a long time now.

I'm not going to say very much right now because, well, let's just say I tend to be a bit "long winded" in my reviews. And I only write reviews for "complete" stories. And from what I've seen, your story might just be nearing that "complete" status.

In other words, what could very well be the longest comment ever to be seen on this entire site is brewing, even as you sit there reading this comment. Be prepared, my friend. Be very prepared.

The story appears to be complete at 16 Chapters.:flutterrage:
SleeplessBrony said there may be a short epilogue.:pinkiegasp:
There may be a spinoff with Fluttershy and Big Mac.:eeyup::heart::fluttershyouch:
I will read anything SB writes though.:scootangel:

I can't really make any other comments here that wouldn't be copypasta of my comments on the PFA and that just isn't my style.:rainbowdetermined2:

This is unlike anything I've ever read.
Amazing how you switched from cloppyness to...well...profound insights in life? Dat Tweest?
Especially in the earlier chapters, I felt everything was a bit over the top, not realistic. But the way you wrote it made it believable.
And with these latest couple of chapters, the realism has only increased.
And THAT, is totally amazing, considering this is a My Little Pony fic with a well deserved 'mature' tag on it.

I bow to you're might good sir, and request the honor to study under your tutelage. I am struggling with my writing, and seeing idols such as yourself inspire, but also humble my tide of emotion.

Epic show good sir...epic show...:heart:

*slow clap building into standing ovation*

A shame it has to come to an end, though. It seemed like you had something planned involving AJ, Big Mac, and Fluttershy that sort of petered out. Perhaps that could be explored in a future project?

Other than that, an excellently-written ride from beginning to end. Hope to see more from you in the future.

really well written, engaging story, great characterization, I love it :twilightsmile:

That's all of it, then. :) As I said on PFA, a great end to one of the best stories in the fandom. I hope Luna gets some redemption in the planned sequel. I'd also love to see how more of those romance threads pan out! I know FlutterMac is coming. My body is ready! :rainbowdetermined2:

And I just read you are planning a sequel that will focus on FlutterMac. This emoticon should sum my feelings up: :yay:

I thoroughly enjoyed this series and although I'm disappointed that I won't get the joy of checking ponyfictionarchive and finding theres a new chapter of it out today.... I think this was a great ending, and I don't say that often (because I hate endings). I thought your depiction of Luna's personality was quite enjoyable (especially in her most recent appearance).

I'll be keeping an eye out for any new work from you in the future.

Keep on writing,

-Medic Starshine
Penfield Volunteer Emergency Ambulance Service, Inc. Primary Duty Medic
Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute 2013 Civil Engineering

Woot! An update I didn't forsee! Freaking love it. :twilightsmile:

We really need more awesome fics of the Best Pony. Looking forward to other stories you may write.

This is great! Not gonna digress now; must read on!!

Thank goodness you uploaded this to Fimfiction. Other people deserve the chance to read this beautiful work of art. 5/5, easily.

This epilogue is so incredible it could honestly be taken alone, detached from the rest and still be considered an amazing mini-shipfic.

Princess Molestia!

*Claps enthusiastically* Oh my, This series has used up a LOT of my time in the last week. I wouldn't call a second of it wasted either:heart:

Good sir. NO.:flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:

And with the click of a button, your fic is now a perfect 5-star at 60 ratings.

Holy shit.

Holy Hell - fully agreed with everybody else, this fic is absolutely astounding in pretty much every level. Times like this I wish we could go beyond the 5-star level. :heart: It richly deserves it.

Best fic ever!
Please don't stop writing! EVER!
This was an amazing story. I have never read a fanfic as good as this. Maybe I haven't even read any story as good as this.
It sounds over the top, but I really felt I should say it.
I'm gonna recommend this everywhere I dare to recommend this kind of cloppiness.
That's another thing. This isn't clopfiction; this is an incredible story of love and romance, and a lot of very detailed sex scenes.
5 stars. Like there was ever any doubt.

PS: I would really like some kind of (super short) epilogue in Luna's perspective.
I'd like to know how she feels about this whole deal.

PPS: I happened to listen to this song when I read this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDTZ7iX4vTQ&ob=av3e
I have to admit, I felt emotional (damn that sounds corny)

Awww.... That ending was so sweet.

So here we are, at the end of a road. I told you earlier I had a very lengthy review in the works and, well, here it is.

This was originally going to be a review consisting of constructive criticism. However, as I analyzed your story more and more, I kept coming up thin with things I would improve. Certainly I explain one or two small aspects that could use some work, but for the most part I was hard-pressed to work out what could be done better.

Instead, this review focuses less on "what" worked, and more on "why" it worked. I have already read countless reviews that express how much they love this work, but don't fully understand what made it tick. Here, I explore it the best I can, and try to explain why I thought this story worked as well as it did. Does this mean everyone will agree with me? Certainly not. These are merely opinions, and as such, I don't expect everyone to share them with me. However, I did the best I could to express my own feelings towards the work, and describe those aspects that made this story different than almost every other romantic fictional work I've read.

Friendship vs Romance

The first thing I should mention is the sheer scope of this story. This is not an idea, or a conflict, or even an epic adventure. What you have undertaken is an entire concept. You have attempted, and succeeded at, capturing the essence of character relationships. This is no small feat, as has been demonstrated by countless other stories revolving around shipping. What you have managed to do is use ponies to convey something beyond fiction, and show us a more realistic view of how love actually works.

The first two episodes of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic introduced our character Twilight to the magic of "friendship". Or, rather, it gave us a sense that it may be something powerful. In fact, the true magic of friendship required an entire season of episodes to fully convey, as well as a lengthy sent of reports written by our naive-but-eager student. All of this, of course, culminated in the battle we saw in the second season, where Twilight again reviews her reports and recalls what she learned in order to face and defeat the fiend at hand.

What you have given us is essentially a second show: a compliment to Friendship is Magic. Romance Reports may as well be called My Little Pony: Romance is Magic, as it does just as good a job conveying the depth of romantic relationships as the original show did with friendship. In scope, it matches or even exceeds the entire first season of the show. In depth, it goes beyond. This is the shipping story that all dedicated watchers of the show knew was possible. You have now captured that story, and recorded it for all to read.

Present Tense

I believe this warrants an entire section in and of itself. This is an extremely bold move, due to its rarity of use in traditional fiction, as well as its risk of alienating the reader by its inherently distracting nature. Before I delve into why it works in this story, I'm going to first explore why it's traditionally pushed aside in favor of the more common past tense.

We must, of course, remember that there is a reader on the other end of the page: and audience who is interpreting the words as they browse through the story. The people who read stories also read other things, such as e-mail, news stories, blogs, and other types of media. In these cases, present tense is often employed to signify something that traditionally is occurring within the same world as the reader. In this case, if the World Series "is" being played, the reader interprets the words as meaning "The World Series is occurring right now, as I am reading this article". It is a separate event, and yet concurrent. As a result, the reader typically separates the event from the words. In other words, the reader knows that, even if they stop reading, the World Series will continue regardless. The event that is currently occurring is not dependent on the reader continuing to read the words on the page.

Most fiction uses past tense to portray the fictional events as "having already occurred". This roots the events in a solid scope of time. The reader feels comfortable "replaying" the events that have already happened, as if watching a recorded film. That is an interesting word, in fact. "Recorded". That is exactly what every written piece of literature is. Unless the work is being written as the reader is reading it, there is no way for the written work to describe actions that are immediately concurrent with the reading of said work. In fact, this is the primary reason why we as readers feel so comfortable with past tense. It is inherent in any piece of literature that is no longer in the process of being written that the events it portrays are historical.

Which brings me now to the use of present tense, as you have used it in this story. This is initially quite jarring to the reader, who must now deal with the burden of imagining the events happening at the same time that they are reading. This is complicated by the fact that the events are occurring in a separate universe, and one that is not even rooted in reality. It forces the reader to place themselves in that world much closer than they would had the story "already happened". Every event is immediate. For most stories, this is unimportant. Visual and audio elements can be portrayed just as easily in past tense as they are in present tense.

However, this story is not strictly audible and visual. This story explores characters, and in particular, it explores a single character. Twilight Sparkle. The reader is asked to connect with Twilight on a very intimate level. Events such as love and sex are immediate sensations, and often seem silly when reflected upon in hindsight. By writing the story in present tense, the reader finds it easier to empathize with Twilight during her emotional and libidinous reactions and take the resulting events more seriously.

Does this mean present tense works throughout the entire story? In fact, it works much better than you might think. Personally, I felt it was weak during the less emotional or intimate scenes. However, after suffering through the same trials as Twilight, I found myself willing to look past this during the more light-hearted parts of the story. It certainly was a better choice than switching back to past tense for these scenes, which would have done nothing but confuse the reader about when something happened. The last thing any reader wants when reading about romance is to be distracted by such basic logical aspects of the story as "time".

Getting Inside the Character

One of the lessons any author must learn is how best to portray a scene to the reader. Normally, there are simply two rules to follow: 1) Make it easy to follow, and 2) give enough information that the reader can visualize what's going on. This is usually enough for most stories to go by. For this story, however, it needed a little something else to help pull the reader "close" enough to Twilight. Here, I am not talking about tense, although present tense certainly helps in this manor. Here, I am talking about getting inside the character, and showing us Twilight's thoughts and feelings about everything around her.

Take just the first sentence: "Twilight Sparkle is sitting on the balcony of her library...the town library, she reminds herself." Most readers would have simply left it at Twilight Sparkle sitting on her balcony, or adding a small description of how she looks. (e.g. legs curled underneath, mane flowing in the wind, etc...). You, on the other hand, immediately gave us Twilight's internal thoughts about that very statement. Already, we are inside Twilight's head, even before the very first period at the end of the very first sentence.

This continues for the rest of the entire work. Take one of the next sentences. "Ponyville is covered in a deep layer of fresh snow all around her, but she hasn't looked down in close to an hour." Yes, you describe snow, and you paint that picture well. However, in the same sentence, you also portray Twilight's apathy towards it. This is something almost no author does. Every aspect of everything in this story is directed back at our protagonist. It forces the reader to see absolutely everything through her eyes. We the readers are now Twilight Sparkle. And she is us. To think any other way will contradict all the words being thrown at us on the page.

Beyond the Show

Let's face it. We're reading about ponies. Not just any ponies: cartoon ponies. These characters were never intended to be given the same "depth" as, say, the characters in a thriller, or an epic. If anything, the "mane 6" are built off of personality shells, for which the show itself pokes fun at via the Elements of Harmony and Cutie Marks. True, some characters have a bit more depth to them, but for the most part, these are very simple characters. Twilight is an egghead, Rainbow Dash is "cool". Pinkie Pie is bubbly, Fluttershy is...well..."shy". And the list goes on. There are many, many fan-written works that attempt to develop these characters into something beyond these shells, to varying degrees of success. However, as far as what's cannon, these are relatively simple characters.

So now we get to this story. We already know that the reader is tied on a deeply emotional and intimate level to Twilight Sparkle. If these characters were to remain as hollow as they are in the show, this story would simply come across as somewhat strange. After all, we're already being asked to empathize with a cartoon pony. Reminding the audience of this would actually work against the literary devises already put in place.

So what do you do? Well, you tone the characters down a bit. You remove any elements of slapstick (e.g. anvils falling on heads, ponies jumping off platforms and being flattened), and rely more on dialog than antics. The most notable change in tone is with Pinkie Pie, who is no longer portrayed as the Chuck Jones bubble-gum piece of insanity from the show, and is instead toned down to a mildly eccentric fun-loving friend. As a lover of Chuck Jones, I was mildly disappointed to see this done to her. And yet, at the same time, it made it very clear to me exactly what you had to do to make this story work. Had I gone back and rewritten the story, I probably would have cut out all the Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy scenes (save for the cupcake scene at the end), and concentrated on the more serious characters.

At this point, I simply cannot finish writing this section without expressing my disappointment with the loose ends in this story. Perhaps at some point there will be a revision that ties these up. However, at the time this review was written, there are simply too many sub-plots that were never revisited. For example, what happened to Rarity? Did she ever find anyone? What about Big Macintosh? Fluttershy? I have heard that there will be a sequel at some point. However, it is my personal opinion that a work should never rely on a sequel unless it is the first part of a continuous series. This story did not feel like part of a continuous series in any respect. It's too complete for that. And so, in this respect, I was thoroughly disappointed.

However, that is not to say I was disappointed with the story as a whole. In fact, the main plot is wrapped up incredibly well, and ends in exactly the way it should have. Throughout the entire story, there is always that driving question of whether she will end up with Luna, and the story does an excellent job keeping that question open right up until the very last chapter. In fact, the inclusion of Luna was simply inspired, and gave the story a very solid foundation, unlike the majority of shipping stories. It gave us something to always come back to whenever things started to slip away.


There is simply no way to talk about this story without discussing the sex. Intimacy plays a very large role in this story, and not just to give the readers their own personal enjoyment. Every moment of intimacy involves our main character Twilight. Every scene is unique. And, in every scene, Twilight learns something different. Here, I am not simply referring to another sexual position, or another technique for achieving climax. I'm referring to the feelings she has afterwards.

Sex, like love, comes in many different forms, from the innocent experimentation, to the one-night-stand, all the way to the romantic act of "making love". The decision to explore all these different forms in such explicit detail is, again, a bold move. We must remind ourselves that, again, these are cartoon ponies. They are neither real, nor even the same species. In addition, the majority of these scenes explore same-gender relationships, which is a complicated and controversial subject in today's society. And yet, you manage to handle these scenes with flair, going beyond the prurient descriptions of "what part went where", and giving us a sense of Twilight's own internal feelings and thoughts as she explores each new territory. It works on a level beyond any base "clopfic", and shows us that sex, like love, is a complex and fragile thing.

In fact, the sex is not merely complimentary to the story. It is a requirement. Showing us exactly what took place during each intimate encounter gives the audience a deeper appreciation for her relationship with said character. Again, each scene is unique. A one-night-stand is not going to result in the same after-feelings as, say, a first time romantic couple. The same goes with simple experimentation. Had these scenes not been present, the reader would be left with either having to "guess" at how Twilight feels, or being told directly by the author. Neither of these options is nearly as powerful as showing us her experience directly.

Wrapping it all up

I hate having to write conclusions. I always feel like I'm striking a gavel and sentencing the story to forever be associated with a single opinion. I think this story is more deserving than that. Does that mean I'm going to end this with a massive flowery description of praise, expressing how it's one of the best works of fiction ever written? Well, as much as I would like to do so, there are already plenty of other reviews out there that have done this for me. I simply see no point in repeating their opinions, however much I may agree.

Is this story perfect? I would have to say no. Absolutely no story is perfect, because every story is always open to improvement. I have already used the word "bold" multiple times in this story, first with present tense, and then with explicit intimacy. I guess this is almost the most appropriate word to use for this story. In fact, I would even go beyond this word, and say this story was "successfully bold". Not every decision worked flawlessly. However, every decision resulted in an improvement upon the story, which is to say, it added more to the story than it took away.

Will this story go down in history as one of the great works of fiction within the fandom? Well, really only time will tell. Personally, I would not at all be surprised if this is the case. However, regardless of its legacy, as it stands right now, it sets a milestone for romance works for My Little Pony, and even romance works for fan fiction in general. In fact, I might even go so far as to say it sets a milestone for romantic stories in general. And that is quite an accomplishment.

New episode. Twi be borrowin a blackboard from Cheerilee. What this means, I don't know.:twilightoops:

I know I for one am doing my best to spread the glory of Five Ponies and Romance Reports across the fandom.

Many clappages to you. Wonderful story, enjoyed the ride.

This story, judging from what I've heard of it, scares me.
It sounds wonderful! It sounds so incredibly well done, well thought out, highly enjoyable and just... overall good! Perhaps the best clopfic ever! In fact, I've heard so many good things that this story has changed the way some people think of the main characters now on varied scales!
and that's what scares me :fluttershysad:
I want to read a really good story, but every time I do it often changes my views on the characters. Even if it isn't cannon, if something is REALLY good, and I really like it, that becomes my head cannon! And I'm just... scared of seeing what I have in there already change. I want to read this so bad, I want to learn from your writing style and perhaps pick up a few tricks, but... gosh. My mind is just so torn from this ._.
I read cupcakes and pretty much laughed at it.
I read a couple epic stories and simply shrugged it off, though they were good.
But mainly it's the shipping stories that really hit me. And not only does your ship, but it involves the clopy clopy... which, kinda hits me about 20% harder for some reason. Idk why :rainbowhuh:
Again, it's only when it's well done, which your story obiously is.
Also, I work. So if I start reading this, I know I will have to stop to go to work (cuz this thing is LONG) and then have my mind constantly wondering "WHAT HAPPENS NEXT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!?" while I work, distracting me and torturing me internally. Just like it did with Substitute Harmony.
tl;dr I wanna read your fic, I REALLY do, but I'm scared it will change the way I view the characters.
I dunno if I can muster up the courage to read this...

I'd say read it. There is nothing wrong with having your headcannon tweaked. Headcannon is a blend after all, more ingredients just makes the flavor richer.
Change can be positive or negative. Sometimes it's hard to keep these portrayals as the self contained continuities they are. Remember that there will always be positive to rebalance the negative.
And this story is worth it, beyond worth it. I still want to platonically hug all the ponies after reading it.

that blew my fucking mind :rainbowlaugh:
i'm at a loss for words
it was an excellent story and i proudly say this is probably the best fanfic i've ever read

:moustache:Glorious moustache

MY ONLY WEAKNESS! How did you know?

Awesome chapter. For some reason, I kept thinking of Lee Adama and Kara Thrace from the new Battlestar Galactica, a little weird I know but it kinda fit. Anyways, Dash is awesome and I approve.

This was an amazing story. There's not much that I can say that hasn't already been said. I look forward to reading your future works/:twilightsmile:

Even without the clop, the story is excellent.


honestly one of the best stories i have read and i believe that this story could be very successful as a non cop fic as well as the way it was written i have to admit that i did shed a single solitary tear for twilight during this

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