• Member Since 23rd May, 2013
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Holocron


Gaze within the Holocron and see what stories it has to tell.

Comments ( 192 )

You monster!:raritydespair:

*looks around to see if someone is watching this story*

Make some moar:trollestia:

I did notice a few spelling mistakes here an there but nothing serious.

Kinda curious to see where this goes, good start but maybe go into Fluttershy's head on why she's doing it and maybe why Scootaloo in particular. I have had an idea where Fluttershy and Rainbow are a couple and they adopt Scoots, needless to say they take 'special' care of her.

This seems like an interesting story. Can't wait to see whats next.:raritywink:

3456818
That sounds like an interesting story, write about it mate :rainbowdetermined2::yay:
I also want any of Fluttershy's thoughts to be hidden for now, so she becomes unpredictable.

3456891
That... actually sounds better, go with that.

Also that idea is pretty much mostly clop :twilightblush:

3456930
This story will be mostly clop as well but I will be slow with the start. So write your story and I will most likely fav it :yay:

So far I like it. Though I was hesitant at first I found myself saying wait that's:fluttercry: it I want more.:flutterrage: Look forward to it keep up the good work.:yay:

Aww come on it was just getting good. Can't wait for more.

That chapter title is not a good sign, isn't the point to get people to read it? I have nothing against foalcon, but that title....

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GRAMMAR CHANGE THE TITLE! It's "loss" not "lose".

3459125
Thank you, for some reason I completely forgot the difference lol

"I approve of this story" - ᶘ ᵒᴥᵒᶅ

This seems like quite the interesting read. You can be sure that I will be following up on this story

Alchemicgree i got a question when will more chapters of this story come out and i like it

more please:twilightsmile: and no, this does not mean im interested in foal-con, just this story.

3462030
Chapters will come out whenever I am able to write them out, there is no form of schedule for two reasons.
1. I don't want to get stressed or make promises I can't keep.
2. I don't want to give my readers false hope.

Oh Celestia what is that cream colored mare planning. :yay:

There are the usual spelling mistakes again but it was still good. I always like seeing Fluttershy not be shy while having sex.

I honestly don't know that many foals in the show but seeing Dinky might be nice.

One thing that concerns me... is this going to turn into a dark story where she rapes them?

I found this by looking for Fluttershy raising Scoots stories. Interesting consept for this story.

3479574
Must have been interesting to have Scootaloo being the first "victim"

Welp! you made me do this!

*brings out the lotion*

You made me do this!

Downvoted for bad writing. Won't critique.

I don't know what to think I liked it but maybe I shouldn't of liked it :twilightoops:

"Tastes like chicken love juices" YUCK:fluttershbad::pinkiesick: how would she know unless ewwwwwwww lol still a good story

3484247
Yes I wrote myself into a bad corner on that one. I wanted to go with the "Taste like Chicken" bit because the running joke with Scootaloo is she is a chicken (flightless). Then I remembered, that that would only make sense if Fluttershy ate chickens. I'm tweaking her character around, but I'm not going so far as to make her a meat eater.

3484302
Yeah that's quite the bad corner but, it was just unmissable and I hope fluttershy wouldn't eat chickens like that:rainbowwild:

So fluttershy likes to eat her chickens out to. WOW!!! I wounded what chicken love juices tastes like?

:unsuresweetie:ok, so you've caught my attention. Congratulations are in order.:twilightsmile:

Tastes like chicken love juices!

I was really into this until that line... then NOPE!:pinkiesick::facehoof:

3500557
Yeah wrote myself into a pretty bad corner. But after hearing how much of a bad choice that was,I changed the metaphor :yay: Next time I'll try not to disgust the readers..........Promise :scootangel:

would the breaking of the mind fall under a Dark tag?

3505168
I'm not sure actually. When I think Dark, I'm thinking some S&M shit going down with the whips and other things. And I don't really see it as a Mindbreak, but more of they give into the pleasure.
Who else thinks this is Dark?

3505222
well in sweetie's case it was brought on by use of chemicals, so she did not naturaly give in, more like was pushed into accepting. That is just my thinking

Is it wrong for.me to like this fluttershy?

3505222

I think at the very least a warning of mind-breaking should be on the front. It is a dark matter, whether there's pain involved or not, and some people may be turned off by it (others who are more sensitive might feel depressed by it)

I can't wait until Rarity or Applejack find out... how dare Fluttershy hog them for herself! :raritywink:

I really do like the idea of Fluttershy having her own harem, you're good at making me want to know what Fluttershy is thinking during all of this but I feel like it'll be revealed when it needs to be. :yay:

I agree with 3505695 , you should put up the warning for mind break but I don't think it's in dark territory yet. Whether or not it will be in the future, I have no idea but I can't wait to find out! :twilightsmile:

Hmmmm thinking everything over and especially what I plan for the next chapter (Now that Apple Bloom is next) I should add the Dark label.

And (SNAP):pinkiecrazy: she is broken. definatly needed a dark tag

i wonder if rarity will be pissed that fluttershy has stolen her lover

3506473 or maybe they can share her :raritywink:

And like that, another one bits the dust, or the pillow in this case.

After rereading you did good st fixing that pretty major corner good job:yay:

I loved that awkward moment, I always find sex humor hilarious. Great chapter but I was confused about one thing, who's bedroom were they in?

But no time for that! We must solve the mystery of the missing virginity!

yes, who indeed.
A). AJ
B). pipsqueak
C). Rumble

...You got some of the dialouge from the english version of Temptation, didn't you? Those lines sound awfully familier...

3521408
I don't believe I've ever read "Temptation"...........Send me a link and I'll see.

3521324
They were in Fluttershy's room, that's where the setting will primarily take place.

3521351
I already have the answer and none of you will ever guess it :pinkiecrazy:
But don't worry, the story isn't over yet, there's still one more victim for Fluttershy's little harem. :yay:
Guess who.

3522048 I'm going to guess Babs... I don't remember seeing her in this yet and she's tagged with everypony else.

I honestly don't feel like this is mind break, just cause an opinion changes doesn't mean their broken. It's like the first time I went on a roller coaster cause my brother kept trying to get me to do it, yeah at first I was scarred wanted it to stop :raritydespair: but at the end I was thinkin '....I think I'm going to get back in line' :rainbowderp: . Doesn't mean it broke me.

But I will yield to the argument Fluttershy is taking advantage of them.

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