• Published 30th Oct 2013
  • 1,484 Views, 40 Comments

Finding Malcador - ThatRarityIsaSpy

Celestia, Luna and a few other companions go off to discover the true origins of Equestria, and themselves.

  • ...

Jonson and Russ

“Let’s see, comes from a place called Terra, his name is Rogal Dorn, he’s called a Primarch, his special talent is building things and.... destroying things.... he’s 10,000 years old, his favorite food is apples and he likes.... just doing his duty?” Sweetie Belle asked. “What’s the last part suppossed to mean?”

“Who knows? But we still have two more to go...”

“This is certainly going to be interesting.”

“I recommend my two brothers, Russ and Jonson.” Dorn said. “They are the best of friends, though their way of showing it is rather..... strange.”

“What do ya mean?” Applebloom asked.

“You’ll know it when you see it. They’re by the place called the Everfree forest. One of the Blood Ravens told them if they wanted a fight, they’d get one there.”

“Where’s Vulkan?” Twilight asked speaking with Guilliman. “He was just in here with Celestia and Luna just a few moments ago!”

“He teleported them to Terra.” The primarch replied. “Vulkan was the only other choice aside from Dorn. He’ll also be spreading the word of our return.”

“You must really be important if people want to hear about your return so badly.” Twilight said.
“There’s another reason. A very dark one.”

“The final battle is approaching. It was foretold ages ago that when we returned from our quests or when our wounds had healed that it would be the dawn of a terrible and final battle.”

“But how can you lose? All I know is that the enemy is being lead by some cra....”

“You have little to fear from chaos Twilight.” Guilliman replied. “But we..... our souls can at times be consumed by the dark gods. We have much to fear from them. Your very souls poison the dark gods and their servants, ours only can feed them. That is why the Emperor..... asks for your support when the final battle is upon us.”

“What?” Twilight asked. “But..”

“He spoke to Vulkan the first time he teleported back to Terra. I was recently told that the Emperor asks for not just the support of his long-lost friend, but for all of Equestria. If chaos wins... the entire galaxy will be consumed by the dark gods. That is why Equestria must aid the Imperium.... no. That is why EVERYONE must stop fighting and battle the true enemy. Chaos.”

“Then I suppose Equestria will aid humanity in their last battle. Just how?”

Guilliman didn’t have an answer. The cold cloak of dread fell upon Twilight from his silence.

“Just like home.” Jonson said dryly looking into the cave. “You sure this is a good idea?”

“Yeah! We go on the count of three!” Russ said taking final swig at his mead. “Ready? Three...... Two.......”


“What the...”

“Hey!” Sweetie Belle said cheerily at the two Primarchs who were readying themselves to storm an Ursa Major’s cave. “Whew... we’ve been looking all over for you!”

“I am flattered.” Jonson said in his normal gloomy tone. “Alright, so... you don’t exactly look like a trio of fighters to me, so what are you here for?”

“We just want to ask a few questions. That’s all!”

“No! You’re going to answer them.” Russ said to Jonson before he could fully voice his objections.

“Oh fine....” Jonson said in his usual surly tone. “Alright... fire away I guess.”

“What’s your name?”

“Lion El’Jonson.” The lion replied watching the cutie mark crusaders write it all down.
“How old are you?”

“Older then you.”

“Hilarious. In years?”
“Maybe like 10,000 something years.”

“Okay, so where are you from?”


“Favorite food?”

“Really don’t have much time on that......” Jonson said still peering into the cave.

“And what’s your favorite thing to do?”
“Well.... I guess I can say sleeping since I’ve been doing that for several millennia, it’s probably going to have to be sleeping. Now go bother Leman.”

“But I am drunk! You don’t have an excuse!” (Lies)

“Seriously? I answered the questions... will it seriously kill you just to answer five things?”

“Okay, okay fine.”

“So what’s you name?”

“Leman Russ.”

“So.... Mister Russ.... how old are you?” Scootaloo asked.

“Just as old as him.” Russ said wanting to get this done.

“Alright... where are you from?”

“Fenris. Home sweet home.”

“Favorite food?”

“Small horses....”

“Um what?”

“Nothing. Mead. That’s my favorite.”

“What’s your favorite thing to do?”

“Drink Mead. Lot’s of it...... now then.... ready? Three..... Two........ ONE!”

The two launched themselves into the cave with a roar, in a few seconds the sounds of fighting erupted within. The cutie mark crusaders decided this would be a good time to leave.......

“Media blackout? You’re telling me the newspapers have been closed for almost a year?”

“Travel service too.” The secretary said. “All foreign trading pacts were also put on hold.”

“That’s strange..... can I revoke this?”

“Will since there’s no one to say otherwise.... sure. Here lemme get the papers.”

“When do you think they’ll be back?” Rainbow Dash asked Corax.

“Probably a week.” The primarch replied. “I only told them to poke at the forces of chaos, not go on a joyride through the galaxy. I expect at least one less chaos warband to plague the galaxy when they’re done.”

“Davian Cool really knows his stuff! So how long will you be here?”
“Until told otherwise, I am with all my brothers perhaps to remain here indefinitely. Most likely however, I have an odd feeling I may have to leave soon....”


“Something tells me the final battle draws near.......”