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Chapter I: This is Some Serious Bull****(REVISED)2,141 words
Chapter II: 'Aving a Giggle in Steamport2,843 words
Chapter III: I'll hook ye in the gabba, I swear on me mum3,801 words
Chapter IV: Getting Paid Before Getting a Job2,196 words
Chapter V: Inspiration In a Flash of Gunpowder2,258 words
Chapter VI: Lying with Dogs3,468 words

Chapter IV: Getting Paid Before Getting a Job

I was quite proud of myself, as well as surprised that I had any of what I’d unleashed upon the thugs in me. I had never fought in my life before then, mostly because I’d didn’t look like a nerd as a child and managed to stay out of any fights. The fact that I could do all of that from some kind of programming update was almost mind-boggling. Then again, I wasn’t human anymore so I’d naturally be able to do extraordinary things.

While carrying the unconscious Lockjaw, I continued to ponder on the other things I might be able to do. Considering how my bodies features seemed to reveal themselves when the situation called for them, I guessed I had to wait and see.

After asking around for the town for directions, I made it to Steamport’s police headquarters. On the way to the door, I noticed a few ponies dressed in what I had expected the police of a Victorian society to wear: blue uniforms with those stereotypical tall helmets. I thought back to the ponies I saw wearing that silly golden-armor. I had theorized that they were some sort of military detachment; even then, the armor was a bit too ridiculous no matter what the reason they had for using it. The only reason I could think of was that they were trying to be traditional, but still, golden Hoplite-armor is just stupid.

I opened the door of the station, revealing a not-so-busy floor full of police officers. The place was full of desks, most of them occupied by ponies that seemed to be hardly working at all. Just as I was about to ask how to turn Lockjaw in, my audio-receptors picked up a heated conversation between two ponies, one of whom I recognized by their voice.

I followed the sound and saw the guard-captain I had spoken to at the gate earlier that day. In front of him was a pony I quickly deduced to be police chief, judging by his more decorated helmet and bushy mustache.

“I don’t know what kind of operation you’re running here, chief, but it sure as Tartarus isn’t a police force,” The captain said angrily, “How in Celestia’s name could you just let this town be run by these hooligans?!”

“Look, captain,” the chief began, “I understand your concerns, but were just too under-staffed to tackle these issues. We can’t just waltz in to the distillery and-”

“*AHEM*”

I made a throat clearing noise to catch their attention. Sure enough, they, along with the rest of the police station, looked to me. The captain was the first to speak, thanks to the fact that he recognized me.

“You again? What in Equestria are you-“

His gaze trailed toward the unconscious pony slung over my shoulder. Within an instant his expression changed to anger as he came to the worst possible conclusion.

“I knew I shouldn’t have let you in!” he shouted as he turned his head to the left, using his teeth to grab the short-sword at his-

‘OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE!’

“Oh, calm down,” I said, putting my hands up, “I’m here to turn in a bounty,” I took Lockjaw off my shoulder and held up his head to show them who he was. The entire staff’s eyes went wide as they recognized Lockjaw’s ugly-mug.

“I-is that Lockjaw? The leader of the Jug-street Colts?!” the chief said, dumbfounded by the sight of the wanted criminal. In response, I took an opportunity to be a sarcastic dick.

“Noooooo! See, this is Lockjaw’s secret, identical twin brother, Stiff Chin! He runs a pastry shop down the lane!” I said as I had a hold of Lockjaw’s mane and was shaking his head about comically.

The captain was still shocked by all of this, but he hesitantly sheathed his highly impractical sword.

“How did you manage to capture him? How did you get past his thugs?” the captain inquired.

“Well, I introduced myself to them and after mopping the wet, moldy floor with every last one of them, I went upstairs, decked our friend here in the shnoze,” I pointed at Lockjaw, “And here I am!”

“Is that so,” the captain said, his expression souring as he turned his head and looked at the police chief. “I suppose that it would be appropriate for you to be reimbursed for this.” He turned to one of the armored guards “Escort this creature to the bank.”

The guard stepped forward, motioning with his head for me to follow him. I let go of Lockjaw, prompting two officers to drag him away. While heading out the door, something crossed my mind that I found so amusing that I couldn’t help but share.

“Oh, by the way,” I said loud enough to collect the attention of everyone in the station, “since the Jug street Colts’ leader is being locked-up, I suspect that there will be a power-struggle that will result in the formation of several other gangs…” the last few words caused the chief’s face to sag with an ‘Oh god dammit’ expression. “Sooooo, you guys have fun with that! ‘Toodles!” I did jazz-hands as I backed out of the station.

Cogsworth had just had a very eventful day. Just this morning, he was scared to death that he was going to get beaten to a pulp by Lockjaw’s debt collectors. Just as he was about to be, a strange bipedal creature came by. Not only did he rescue him, but also sent the gang members packing. Last he had seen him, the creature had set off to confront Lockjaw. He wasn’t entirely sure what the creature was thinking when he thought he could take on Lockjaw and his gang. Still, he admired the creature’s nerve.

Cogsworth was closing up shop, getting ready to head upstairs; his last costumer had left an hour ago. As he trotted toward the stairs, he briefly wondered what became of the stranger that helped him.

*KNOCK-KNOCK *

“…At this hour?”

After rapping on his door, I heard Cogsworth moving toward the entrance of the workshop. After retrieving the reward I had received for Lockjaw's capture, I decided to pay Cogsworth a visit. The way I saw it, he was the only one in this town that I’d actually engaged in friendly conversation with, and he was the only one who could do anything to immediately benefit my career as of right now, what with owning a workshop and all.

I heard a few *snik* sounds as Cogsworth unlocked the door’s several locks. When the final latch was undone, the door opened, revealing a slightly disheveled Cogsworth. It took him a second to process what he was looking at before he recognized me.

“O-oh, it’s you…” he trailed off. I had guessed at the time that he had not expected to see me again, and I would later find my speculation to be correct.

“Yes hello, I’m dreadfully sorry to bother you at such a late hour, but I’ve come to give you a bit of good news.” I began “You’ll be pleased to know that Lockjaw has been incarcerated.”

Cogsworth’s expression was blank for a moment before he was able to take in what I had said.

“…You mean… you actually went down to that horrible place and caught him?!”

“Oh, not only that, I also managed to hospitalize nineteen of the members he had stationed outside his little hidey-hole.”

“You…n-nineteen of them?!”

“Well, it would have been an even twenty, if one of them hadn’t chickened out. I honestly expected for them to put up a better fight. I mean, it was a twenty on one open brawl.”

Cogsworth’s mouth had dropped open, wondering how I could possibly be serious.

“But really, they aren’t relevant anymore. Thanks to fact that I single handedly captured a criminal of Lockjaw’s standing, I have now come upon a fairly large sum of money.” I said as I went for the bag tucked underneath my sash. “That is if ten thousand bits is considered a large sum of money”

For a moment, I thought that his eyes were going to bulge out of his head.

“That’s… that’s enough bits to pay my rent for ten months…”

“Is that so? Well then I suppose you can help me.”

Cogsworth’s ears perked up and he cocked his head to the left, likely wondering what kind of help he could possibly provide.

“You see, I just came into town this afternoon. I don’t really have connections here, or anywhere else for that matter. The reason I came here in the first place was because I needed to jumpstart my career, I though with being an industrial town an individual of my profession would be well accommodated. All I really need is a bit of scrap metal.”

“Well, I’m not quite sure what you would do with it,” He began, “But you could always use the scrap I have in the back room.” He said, stepping off to one side to invite me in, “What exactly do you do for a living?”

“Well, I-“

What happened next, I couldn’t explain. In an instant, I struck a “soldier at attention” pose.

“Unit #1940397860199485, engineer caste, pattern: 940 delta.” I blurted out in a robotic tone (as redundant as that may sound).

As soon as I snapped out of my trance, I looked at Cogsworth to see if he was freaking out. He wasn’t, but he had an expected ‘what the fuck just happened’ look on his face. If I still had a face that was capable of conveying human emotion, I’m pretty sure I would be sharing the same expression.

“Uh, I’m not quite sure what happened just then; but to answer your question, I was an engineer up until recently, now I’m a freelance inventor I suppose.” I said, trying to cover up my odd outburst. Thankfully, Cogsworth’s expression brightened when he heard what my profession was.

“An inventor! Why didn’t you say so!” he said with excitement, “If that’s the case then by all means, Feel free to stay as long as you like!”

He gestured for me to follow him. He led me past the counter and around a corner to a door. He opened it and flicked switch, causing an incandescent-bulb to flicker to life on the ceiling.

‘What do you know, they aren’t as far behind as I thought.’

It was a bit of a shame that I wasn’t going to be able to “invent” the light-bulb just to piss on the grave of that dick Edison; but I guessed it couldn’t have been that easy.

The room was a bit small, about the same size as a mobile home. There were shelves all along the front wall, filled with all sorts of miscellaneous metallic junk. At the far end of the room there was a small smelter, likely used to melt the scrap on the wall. Finally there was a work bench on the back wall lined with tools.

“Will this do?” Cogsworth asked expectantly.

“Perfect, just what I needed.” I said, stepping inside, “Thank you very much, Cogsworth.”

“No, no, you’ve done so much for me, for the whole town! Thank you mister-” Cogsworth stopped, his eyes squinting, “I’m sorry, but I never did get your name,”

His question caught me a bit off guard, as I hadn’t even considered a name to go by. But this issue was quickly solved as I was able to think faster and come up with an appropriate name.

“Nikolas”

Despite how odd my name was must have sounded to him, he thanked me.

“Before I retire, can I ask a small favor?” he inquired.

“Ask away,”

“If it isn’t to much trouble, could you take a look at some of the appliances I have out on the front counter? I could definitely use some extra help with the repairs, and I’d be more than willing to give you a cut of my pay.”

If it meant getting a few extra bits to help my career forward, I was game.

“Absolutely, I’ll have a look as soon as I familiarize myself with everything in here.”

With that, Cogsworth bid me goodnight and left me to the solitude of the workshop. Given the fact I was a robot, there was no longer any need for me to sleep, so what better time was there to start working then right then and there. I turned to face the back wall, looking for things I could use. As I began looking, my HUD began highlighting all the object’s as I looked at them, breaking them down to their base components and displaying their mass and volume in an instant. In response to this new development, I could only respond with:

“MY GOD, I CAN SEE EVERYTHING!”

Author's Note:

Well, at least it wasn't an entire year later, but on the bright side, I've managed to shake off this writer's block, and I've got some new Ideas. Some bad news though: in a few months I'll be leaving for Naval basic training. I'll try to get some new chapters out before then.

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