I do cover art and write!!! I am searching for creative inspiration. MLP:FIM is my creative outlet. PM me!!!!
Caden Hart is a blonde haired, farm boy from rural Georgia. His life isn't the easiest to put up with. He's always wanted to turn is life around and do something he actually wants to do. One night, he discovers a mysterious, blue light in the middle of the woods that takes him to a world that could give him that change. It also offers a new chapter in his life.
This is my first story, so constructive (notice constructive) criticism is appreciated.
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I think you need to check the spelling in your description, errors can really turn potential readers away.
3732023 Would you mind pointing out my error please?
3733010 Thanks.
3732023 Never mind. Wow, do I feel stupid!! Thank you for catching that. It's fixed. Now I'm embarrassed.
Okay, the story has potential, I gotta just say- don't make it anthro. Please How's are not going to make goodAnthro stories. Also try to make long chapters. Please. That's really it that I saw. If you want any more reviews from me pleas continue to rreview mine. One review from a chapter you review, with that said, good night.
3734337 Thanks! I appreciate it.
3734337 And I'm sorry about the anthro. That's one of the things I had to think about during the planning for the story. But I decided to keep it anthro and try and work with it. That and I already drew the picture and it took forever. But thank you for the input. It's always helpful.
~Sky Wishes
I think everybrony(see what I did there?) on the planet wants to go to Equestra,human or not.
3741139 Good point. I know I do.
Haha!!
not too bad
3761567 Thank you. It's always nice to know that people enjoy my stories.
make MOAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3775691 There will be more. I promise.
This may be currently the only HiE fic that I like. Partly because of how well you did Fluttershy. I look forward to the next chapter.
4066928 Thank you! You just made my day.
I find that Fluttershy is the hardest character to write with because of her timid nature and soft spoken ways. I will have the next chapter up soon. I just have way too much on my plate right now, and the story is kinda low on the priorities list, but there will be more. Thank you for your comment.
4068429 your welcome. I have Fluttershy in all three of my stories so I know how annoying it is to portray Fluttershy's character perfectly.
4068670 Do you have any tips for me?
4068798 you seem to be doing fine. I got no tips. If you want, just read my stories. Maybe there is something that you can use.
4068902 I might just take you up on that offer. Thanks for reading.
Aww, I definitely felt the emotions. Of course I cry watching anime, Kong fu panda 2, some chick flicks( and I'm a 20 year old male for Luna's sake
). It was well written and well thought out on Caden's backstory. The tender moment when Fluttershy wraps her arms around Caden was so cute
( and something she would totally do). Over all I enjoyed the chapter.
4072199 I made my 12 year old sister read it, and she was practically swimming in a pool of her own tears. I'm so glad that people like this story.
4072414 I don't see way you shouldn't be happy. Plus the story is on my fav list.
4072426
The only reason that I worry is the 8:19 likes to dislikes ration sitting up there. It makes me nervous. And a little angry.
4072439 well the likes and dislikes don't matter. I've read plenty of stories that have more dislikes then likes and the stories were pretty good. So chin up. My Grey and Yellow story got a dislike first, but now it is a 6:6 ration. You'll get more likes in no time flat.
4072467 It just worries me considering that this is my first story. I guess your right though. I've read plenty of amazing stories with an odd ratio of likes to dislikes. And don't worry about the crying while watching anime. I cried during Black Butler half the time.
4072485 I've only cried while watching Naruto, Bleach, One piece, Angel Beats, and that's just the major ones. I've seen and read the black butler and never cried. Maybe it's just me.
4072596 I cried during the death of Madame Red. And cried and laughed during all the scenes with Ciel in a dress.
4072604 that was my favorite episode and chapter. Heh heh. I couldn't stop laughing. Read the books, Ciel Finns into the duke a couple times after that event. It is funny.
4072620 The library is right next door. Like I can walk there. It so awesome. It's great, but even a book with pictures and few words takes people down here forever to read. It pains me to say that.
4072674 it takes me an hour to finish one manga book and I have to take by bike to get to my library. It literally takes a half an hour to get there.
4072674 unless you didn't see it yet, I had to erase something on my last post.
4072704 I got the first book Monday and while my mom was a physical therapy for 30 minutes, I finished it. It takes about 2 minutes to get to my library.
4072831 I'm always on something electronic and when I'm not, I read manga or draw anime human's. The hands are still a pain in the butt.
4072862 That's why my cover art is just the top portion of the characters. I hate doing hands.
4072888 it just takes practice. That's what I tell myself.
Well, going to Equestria would be cool, I don't think it would be as cool as we all think. Also you need to make your chapters longer. A fewvp errors, but all in all it was okay.
Okay, first off, yes, you do need to describe Pinkies outfit, even if it's just once in the entire fic, describe her clothes. That really bothered me, you also made a few typos, other than that it's okay.