• Published 30th Oct 2013
  • 4,002 Views, 509 Comments

My Little Pony: Isk is Magic - keyan88

A capsuleer exploring wormhole space finds himself trapped in an unknown system. After discovering the only other sentient species, other than humans, are ponies, adventures ensue. He soon learns there are more important things in the galaxy than Isk

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Chapter 12 (part 3)

Ch.12 part 3

Keyan walked down the hallway, the guard in front of him leading the way. The guard was quiet, his hoof steps echoing through the empty palace. And speaking of the palace, Keyan was pretty impressed, it was roughly 20% cooler than his quarters on his ship.

“So?” Keyan said hesitantly, “what’s it like being in the military?”

After a few more echoing steps the guard responded,

“It keeps you on your hooves, I’ll say that. The princesses can be a bit hard to handle sometimes.”

Keyan raised an eyebrow,

“What do you mean by that?”

The guard was silent for a moment, pondering on what exactly he should tell the alien.

“Celestia is interesting. During the day she is every bit the ruler you expect. But during the night she can get… playful.”

Keyan burst out laughing,

“Is that why she keeps you guards around? To scratch an itch?”

The guard stopped and stared at the capsuleer for a few seconds. Eventually he got what Keyan was insinuating and his visibly blanched and blushed at the same time.

“No no no no no, not like that. How could you even think that! She’s the princess!”

Keyan just laughed harder and after calming himself down he looked back at the guard,

“She’s the Princess of the Sun right? Doesn’t that mean she has a……. Hot flank?”





The guard gave Keyan the flattest stare of all the flat stares ever given,

“Dude, that was bucking awful.”

Keyan was laughing way too hard to care.

“Oh come on! That was comedic gold!”

The guard shook his head in disbelief.

“How is it that the first alien to come to Equestria is an idiot.”

Keyan took another look at the guard and burst out laughing again. After a few more moments Keyan regained control of himself. He gave the guard another nod and they continued down the hallway.

“Hey dude can I ask one more question?” Keyan said.

The guard sighed,


“Did Luna ever moon you?”


A short while later Keyan found himself outside a door. The guard turned to the capsuleer and said,

“Hes through here. And try not to be to harsh on him, hes a bit stressed out.”

Keyan nodded and stepped inside the room. It was richly furnished, and a full length mirror had a dominant place on the wall. Standing in front of it was Shining Armor in a dress uniform.

Hearing the door open he turned around to face Keyan.

“Hey Key, hows it going man?” he said with a smile.

Keyan walked further into the room hesitantly, the guard said he was having a nervous breakdown and those were never good.

“I’m doing fine Shining. How are you?” Keyan responded, wary for a sudden snap in the stallions demeanor.

“Fine fine, come on in and sit down,” Shining said while motioning towards a couch.

Keeping his eye on Shining, Keyan moved towards the couch and sat down slowly. Shining took a seat opposite him and an awkward silence soon hung in the air between them. Eventually Keyan cleared his throat and said,

“So… the guard said you were having a nervous breakdown.:

Shining nervously fidgeted back and forth,

“Why would he say that? I’m perfectly fine can’t you see?”

Keyan eyed the stallion up and down.

“Yea, you seem pretty fine to me right now.”

“WELL I’M NOT!!” Shining suddenly yelled, slamming his hooves onto the coffee table in front of him.

Keyan stared at him,

“Whats wrong?”

The stallion’s shoulders deflated.

“Everything,” he said in a small voice.

“If you had to give me an answer, what would you say?”

A thump accompanied Shining’s head’s impact on the table.

“She tricked me, it was my job to keep everypony safe and I failed.”

After thinking for a few moments Keyan reached out a hand and gently patted him on the back,

“From the story I heard Chrysalis tricked everypony, including Celestia, and she’s thousands of years older than you.”

Shining picked his head up and looked at Keyan,

“But it was my job. And she replaced my wife! How could I miss that!?”

“Her entire purpose is infiltration dude. Believe me, I’ve met some people like her. Some of my alliance’s spies are pretty intense, I heard stories of them bringing down entire fleets single handedly,” Keyan mentally shook himself to get back on track, Shinign did not need to hear stories like that, “but either way it all worked out fine this time be happy for that,”

Shining stared at him for a few seconds,

“But it was my-”

“For fucks sake dude shut up. Shit happens,” Keyan interrupted him, “now pull yourself together, you’re getting married in like half an hour.”



“Shut up dude. I know you feel bad, but honestly, I don’t know what you want me to say. I’m a capsuleer not a psychiatrist.”

Shining froze for a few moments after the slap before responding,

“Thanks, I needed that.”

Keyan smiled,

“Good. Now come on, you have a wedding to finish.”

Shining smiled,

“One more thing Key, will you be one of my groomsmen?”

Keyan looked at him in shock,


Shining shrugged,

“I need another and you’re my friend, so it can’t hurt right?”

Keyan was silent for a long time.

“Thats…” Keyan trailed off while thinking of the right word. He cleared his throat and continued, “Yea, I’d love to man.”

Shining’s face broke out in a huge grin,

“Awesome! But ummm… Key. I have one more question,and its sort of private.”

Keyan took one look at Shining’s face and the blush covering it and immediately stood up.

“Listen dude, figure that out for yourself. Cause I don’t want to hear shit about that shit.”

Shining chuckled nervously,

“I suppose I can understand that.”

He stood up and both of them headed towards the door.

“Just… don’t skip the foreplay alright?”


Half an hour later Keyan stood next to Spike on Shining Armor’s side of the alter. The girls were on Cadence’s side and each wore a grin on their face.

“My little ponies,” Celestia began, “we are gathered here today to join….”

Keyan knew he should pay attention, but this emotional stuff was never his thing. For the rest of the ceremony he drifted in and out, paying attention at some points and less at others.

Eventually Cadence and Shining kissed and the cheering of the crowd brought Keyan back from sleep mode. He focused just in time to see one of the greatest fireworks displays in the history of the galaxy. The multicolored explosion raced across the sky with Rainbow Dash at its center. Looking beside him he saw Twilight staring with something a bit stronger than fascination.

A short while later Rainbow Dash landed in front of them,

“How was that?” She asked with a smirk.

“Awesome!” Both Keyan and Twilight said at the same time.

“Now what?” Rainbow asked.

“WE PARTY!” Pinkie suddenly shouted, a cloud of confetti magically appearing around her.


Love is bloom. A beautiful bride, a handsome groom…

Keyan leaned against a table smiling at the scene in front of him. Ponies dancing was one of the funniest things he had ever seen. But Twilight sure did have a great singing voice. His foot was matching the beat when he heard hoofsteps making their way to him. He smiled as he saw Luna walking up to him,

“A joyous occasion is it not?” She asked.

“One of the better parties I’ve been to,” Keyan responded, “I don’t have to deal with annoying politicians.”

Luna leaned up against the other side of the table,

“Is there any other kind?”

They both shared a laugh at this.

“So why are you not dancing Keyan?” Luna eventually asked.

Keyan shrugged,

“I’ve never really been one to do it.”

Luna scoffed,

“I believe you are just scared of embarrassing yourself.”

Keyan’s eyes narrowed at the challenge,

“How much you wanna bet, the next waltz there is, me and my partner will freaking rock the dance floor.”

Luna rubbed her chin thoughtfully,

“If you go out there, and do not “rock the dance floor” as you say, you must walk around the palace 3 times in a dress.”

Keyan smiled,

“And if I win you have to publicly declare, “Keyan is best Alien”.”

Luna’s eyes narrowed,

“As false as that statement is, I accept.”

Keyan leaned back,

“Good,” he turned towards the crowd to search for a suitable partner. After scanning for a few seconds his gaze fell on a familiar purple mane.

”Rarity!” Keyan called out getting the mares attention, “would you mind coming out here?”

With a face that said that that was one of the last things she wanted to do, she trotted over,

“How can I help you?” She asked curtly.

Keyan motioned towards Luna,

“The princess and I have a little wager going. She bets that I can’t dance a waltz. And I need a partner.”

Rarity raised an eyebrow,

“What are the terms of this wager?”

“If I lose, I have to walk around the palace 3 times in a dress. And if I win Luna has to declare me the best alien.”

“And you want me to be your partner I assume?”

Keyan nodded.

Rarity thought for a second, weighing the possibility of embarrassment on the dance floor vs the thought of Keyan walking around in a dress.

“I suppose I could accept your offer, in the confidence that you will do nothing to embarrass me.”

Keyan grinned,

“Of course not. And can I assume you can stand on your hind legs?”

Rarity thought for a moment,

“If I have something to lean on yes I suppose I could.”

“Excellent, lets just wait for the song to start.”

A few minutes later Twilight’s song ended, and with Luna’s request,a small string ensemble set themselves up. Keyan looked at Rarity and motioned towards the dance floor. Receiving a nod in return they both stepped out. An excited murmur ean through the crowd as they caught site of him. Twilight stared at him with an interested look.

When the two of them reached the center of the dance floor they turned to each other. Keyan reached down a hand and Rarity daintly lifted a hoof into it. Using that as a step Rarity lifted herself onto her hind legs. When she did this she was a head smaller than Keyan. They assumed the waltz position and Keyan gave her a small smirk.

A charcoal grey mare with a black mare counted off and the waltz began.

With elegance that surprised Luna, Keyan lead Rarity through the dance. With graceful dips and twirls they moved across the dance floor. Everypony else was wowed into silence.

Keyan chuckled as he watched Spike lead Sweetie Belle onto the dance floor next to them. Their movements were about as good as one would expect them to be, but it provided a far amount of d’awww to the performance.

With a final flourish Keyan dipped Rarity and held the pose as the music slowly died off. Keyan smirked as Rarity looked up at him with a reddened face. With a slight pant he returned Rarity to her own four hooves.

A soft oomph from next to them signaled Spike and Sweetie Belle’s failed attempt imitating the move. With matching blushes they extricated themselves from each other. A widespread round of applause exploded from the assembled crowd as Sweetie Belle kissed Spike lightly on the cheek. They both muttered a goodbye as they awkwardly shuffled off the dance floor.

“Well, I have to say Keyan, that certainly was a pleasant surprise.” Rarity said a little short of breath.

“You don’t get go to alliance balls without picking up a thing or two.,” Keyan replied with a smile.

“Well then, I’m going to go get some water. I’m quite parched after that performance,” Rarity said.

Keyan gave Rarity a deep bow and kissed her lightly on her hoof,

“Until next time milady”

Rarity rolled her eyes and trotted away. Spinning on his heels with a flourish, Keyan walked back to the table Luna was now sulking at with mass amounts of swagger. Humming a dainty tune Keyan leaned onto the table, He picked up a convientely placed toothpick and started idly picking his teeth,

“So princess…” He gave her a winning grin, “Who is best Alien?”

Luna gave him a flat stare.

“You are the most infuriating thing I have ever met.”


Author's Note:

YAY CHRISTMAS BREAK TIME! now that that is out of the way onto more important things.

Being that it is Christmas Break I want to get as much chapters out as possible so expect anywhere from 2-4 more by friday.

Now, I previously had a whole thing thought out with Keyan in Equestria but after thinking about it for a while I decided this: LETS GET THE PONIES TO NEW EDEN! So basically that means exactly that. That being said there are a few chapters with Keyan in Equestria that I really want to write that are going to happen. These are going to be mainly fluff but ever since I got them in my head I wanted to type them so I am. But, after that we will get to the fun part of the story which will involve a lot explosions, lazors, missiles, isk, and internet spaceships getting blown up.

Also I typed this on a plane so forgive me if you see any big mistakes, just point them out in the comments and i'll fix them.


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