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ShadowSide Tales

1000 years ago, Celestia took a huge gamble to exorcise her sister rather than banish her.
Now Luna rules a land without a sun, and her prize student Twilight Sparkle believes she sees omens that the power responsible for the banishment of the sun will soon return.

Chapters (3)

Prologue · 5th Mar 2012 · 825 words
825
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Portents · 5th Mar 2012 · 970 words
970
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Apples and Clouds · 11th Apr 2012 · 1,650 words
1,650
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Comments ( 3 )

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CTVulpin

CTVulpin #1 · Mar 6th, 2012 · · · Portents ·

Interesting concept you have here, but it could benefit from a little more exposition. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt since this is obviously just starting, but I would recommend making your chapters longer and describe the world more. This isn't the Equestria we're familiar with, so you as the author have to teach us about it.

CTVulpin

CTVulpin #2 · Apr 11th, 2012 · · · Apples and Clouds ·

Ok, so the ponies of this world have form-shifting powers of some sort. In lieu of sunlight we have magical lamps that need special tending (and Rainbow's apparently a big risk-taker in that job). I assume they all go out during the Lament to recharge or for a mass cool-down cycle or something.
It still feels like you're taking a lot for granted at the moment, but I think I see how you intend to explain: very slowly and by implication.
I have a habit of looking for subtext and trying to guess how things work before the plot reveals them, but that's not true of everyone.

mastermenthe

mastermenthe #3 · Mar 17th, 2015 · · · Apples and Clouds ·

A beautiful world! This is truly how Luna would save her little ponies!

Luna taught her little ponies to embrace their Shadow Side with the magic of friendship, for the shadows hide them from the merciless cold of the eternal night and the madness of the sunless sky, and as the ponies embrace their Shadow Side they are saved from falling into darkness as Luna once fell into darkness!