Not all tales are true, as is to be expected. Sometimes there are blatant lies, sometimes a story is made up, and sometimes parts are left out. When the three species of ponies came to Equestria, it was a land they knew they could inhabit, but it would take time. The horrors and monsters and ponies that quickly followed the discovery of Equestria are often left out to prevent bad rumors and the nightmares of children. But one of the monsters from that period of time is much alive.
A lot is subject to change with this story because it is not complete. Depending on feedback, I will finish it or I won't.
Chapters (8)
the shear beauty and feels of this story brings me to tears
Take it!! Take all my feels danget!!!
let celestia fear him and discord cry for help.
3455828
No. No, no, no, no, no. Like...HELLS NAH. Dude, like, seriously, dude, like, no.
Only two critiques:
Grendel (For I assume that is who this character is based off of) was "Unable" to commune with his human counterparts, because his voice was "abhorrent." That was why he didn't just go off and be merry with the nordic people. Even if the land might be having some strange effect upon him, I still doubt that their conversation would have so easily been "Hi."
The other was that Grendel was practically stapled to his mother. Even if he didn't realize it, he was bound to her, because she was his emotional rock. He could use her to vent, and even if he resented her, she was the only one in his life, To remove a fundamental part of a character, even if it is another character, can be game changing, because do you remember what happened when Grendel dies? His mother goes insane, and begins a slaughter rampage. Without such a key element in his life, I'd expect our "Hero" to be a little more unstable.
Aside from this, though, the story is progressing nicely. Hope to read more of this soon!
Liked and faved.
3473527 I didn't really want to make my monster exactly like Grendel. I liked the "wants friends and kindness but can't have them because monster" idea, which I got from Grendel, even though I don't it ever says anything about that in "Beowulf," but, aside from that, there's really no relation in there. I hope that you didn't think that I was trying to do a picture-perfect version of Grendel with my monster, but I can see why you would.
Or maybe I am misunderstanding your comment entirely, which is highly possible, seeing as to how I don't think that I understand what you are trying to say.
3474455
Oh, no, you answered the question perfectly. I could see the serious connections between "Monster" and "Grendel," but I wasn't certain if you were going for an even closer brethren. Thanks for clarifying. I was mostly just noting some character development points.
I hope I hadn't offended, I was just making a few notes. This is your story, and as a reader, I'll be satisfied any way.
1st chapter i can just feel the sadness going though to me from each word
ok i have a love hate relation ship with this story sad and yet beautiful
stop making this so dead all i here is suicide from the pages it saddening
YESSS its not sad no more i like this story
Oh god it's so BEAUTIFUL, MY EYES THEY LEAK FROM THE BEAUTY.
Two words, Loved It. i love how the monster existence forces fluttershy and dash to think about their relatively easy lives and how both dash and flutters are determined to help the monster know a better future
Certainly one of my most favorites, Well done Author