• Member Since 25th Oct, 2013
  • offline last seen May 19th, 2014

Unusually Delusional


I write stories about things

T
Source

HUMANIZED CHARACTERS AHEAD!

Twilight's having a pretty rotten day. Well, not really, it's a typical day for the hard-working young woman. But Spike still thinks she needs to take a little time out for herself. He decides that a little challenge of mind over matter will be the best way to cheer her up. So, convincing her to wager some of her precious time, he begins writing a very PERSONAL letter to Celestia; those familiar first three words present a bit of challenge, though.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 3 )

Pretty enjoyable the whole way through
Can't wait to see more

This was a very unexpected but enjoyable story.

I liked how you got to transform a very simple thing (someone bothering another one) into a whole story. At the beginning I thought the letter itself would be the subject, but you made something way better there.

Now I admit I feel the need to say some parts felt a little redondant or useless. For example:
- Spike decides to jump on Twilight, but then not. And then he decides to tickle her, but is not sure, etc... this seems to take more time than it should (you needed to build up some "tension" of course, but that was maybe stretching it a little too much).
- Spike tickling Twilight somewhoe begins to feel weird. To be honest, I began to wonder if it was to become a shipfic...

Right. Keep telling yourself that, weirdo.

That part I interpreted as a confirmation. And it was even weirder as you pointed out they are like a brother and a sister, or a child and his mother.
And the second after, we don't hear about it anymore.

But otherwise, I think you did a great job there. Having to endure every letter was frustrating at first, but it helped a lot understand what Twilight was enduring. That's a nice trick you pulled there.

She turned her head, resting her cheek on her shoulder, and grinned at him. “I told you, Spike,” she said victoriously, “I don’t kid around with these sorts of thing!” She turned back to her work.

I like that ending. Well done.

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