Chapter 7 - "Assignment"
"What in Sam hell is a cutie mark?" Sarge said. "Sounds like something Donut would have."
"It kinda sounds like a gay bar." Grif chirped. "So yeah, now that you mention it Sarge, Donut does come to mind."
Celestia sighed and shook her head.
"A cutie mark is a symbol that appears on a ponies flank after they find out what their special skill is." Celestia said. "It is there to tell a story of their personality. No pony can have the same cutie mark, and they have to come naturally. They will not appear if you use anything to try and force it. It can only be received in time."
"Well Grif I can't say it was nice knowing you." Sarge said.
"What do you mean?" Grif asked.
"Well for starters you have no special skills, you have no personality and you have to work hard to get it." Sarge said. "And to top it off you're incompetent."
"Well I guess you're right Sarge. It seems like I'm fucked."
"I'm going to be sending a letter to each of the girls." Celestia said, shaking her head. "I don't think they could handle more than one of you at once so I am going to assign one to each of you. Caboose, you will stay with Pinkie Pie."
"Yay!" Caboose said. "Thank you kind lady."
"Sarge, you will be going to live with Applejack on her farm." Celestia said.
"Alright." Sarge grunted.
"Tucker, you will be going with Rainbow Dash." Celestia said.
"Is she hot?" Tucker asked, and felt as if he had just been stomped on his groin with the force of a million suns. "God dammit."
"Grif, you will be spending your time with Fluttershy."
"All right." Grif said, staring indifferently at Celestia.
"Simmons, you will help out around Rarities boutique."
"Alright fine. I'll see if I can do anything to help out to keep me busy."
"And Church. You will be staying with Twilight Sparkle." Celestia said.
"Fine. Whatever." Church said.
"Tucker. Grif. I have given you wings so you will be able to keep up with the poines you are going to be staying with. Church and Simmons will be given horns to match your soon-to-be mentors. Farewell my little ponies. I will send for you if I happen to need you."
They were soon surrounded by the white mist again and it brought them back to Twilight’s place. The girls were inside of the tree, finishing up with the letters they had received.
"What is Celestia doing making us watch these idiots?" Rainbow Dash said. "I have far more important things to do."
"I know what you mean." Rarity said. "I have a very important client coming to pick up her dresses in three days and I am nowhere near being complete."
"Well I'm afraid we have to, after all the princess told us to. There's no use complaining." Twilight pointed out.
"Fine, but it doesn't mean I have to like it." Rainbow Dash grumbled.
"I'm feeling happy about this!" Pinkie said. "How about you Fluttershy? How do you feel."
"Nervous. It's really hard to meet new ponies." Fluttershy said. "What if he hates me?"
"Why would he hate you Fluttershy?" Twilight asked.
"I don't know." Fluttershy replied. "I just have a feeling he will."
"How about you AJ? how do you feel about it?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"As long as he stays out of the way I don't mind." Applejack said, indifferent to the situation.
"Damn that light is bright." Church said, stumbling through the door into the library.
"Well, here they are." Twilight said, going up to the door. "Time to get working I guess."
"Whatever." Rainbow Dash said, flying out the door.
"Come on Caboose, let's go back to the Sugar Cube Corner." Pinkie said. "I'll try and find you a place to sleep."
"What is Sugar Cube Corner?" Caboose asked, following suit with Pinkie.
"It's the gingerbread house you silly goose!" Pinkie said.
"You live in a gingerbread house?" Caboose yelled. "That is the most amazing story I have ever heard. Can you tell it again?"
"At least someone seems to be happy with this." Twilight said.
"Yeah, whatever." Rainbow Dash said. "Come on Tucker I'll show you where I live."
"Okay, which direction is it?" He asked.
"This way." She replied, shooting up in the air.
"Dude what? I don't know how to fly." Tucker said, looking at his wings.
"Not my fault if you can't keep up." Rainbow Dash said, snickering at Tucker.
"That's the way you're going to be, huh? Well fine, two can play at that game." Tucker said, jumping in the air, flapping his wings trying to fly. "Hey, I'm doing it! Oh shit."
Tucker then slammed to the ground. Rainbow Dash fell to the ground laughing at him.
"Come on, you're making a fool out of yourself." Rainbow Dash laughed. "I'll have to try and teach you to fly overnight. If you think you can stay up."
"Oh that's okay, I'm used to staying up all night." Tucker said with a wink. “Bow chicka bow wow.”
Rainbow Dash then started walking with Tucker to a flat field to practice his flying.
"I hope you don't mind, but I'd rather walk to your place." Grif said. "I don't feel too thrilled about the prospect of grinding my face on the ground."
"That's okay." Fluttershy said softly. "I would have walked anyways."
Rarity then started to walk away. "Hey wait, don't forget me." Simmons walked after her.
"Listen, if it's all the same to you," Rarity started, continuing towards her boutique. "I just want to show you where you will be sleeping so I can get straight to work, okay?"
"Yeah, sure I guess." Simmons said, hurrying to catch up to Rarity who was still walking.
"Well, let's go Sarge." Applejack said. "I'll show you where you'll be hunkerin' down while you're here."
"Yes ma'am." Sarge said, walking silently with her.
"Well Church, I guess it's just us now." Twilight said.
"Yeah." Church said, walking into Twilight’s house. "Just us."
"I'll show you to where you'll be sleeping, okay?" Twilight said.
"Yeah whatever." Church grumbled.
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Have you ever read 9 Knackered Souls on fanfiction.net?
Another amazing fic starring the cast from Red vs Blue.
Fic suggestion aside, keep up the good work
294152
I'll give it a read later today
Alright which pair would you guys like to read first? I'm going to bed so when I wake up I'll see which one gets expanded upon at the beginning. All of them will be done one after the other so don't worry.
293149
Indeed, it made me realize what a tragic and sad character Caboose is. He is like Halo's Derpy though, always facing hardships with a goofy smile
294163 Tucker and rd, it pains me to think what he might try
294423
YES. ALL MY YES.
Make Tucker crack a lesbian joke, and RD go ballistic on him. PLEASE. It will be better than watching Tex lose it.
294435>>294423 NO! SAVE THE BEST FOR LAST IDIOTS! i think sarge and AJ will be a good first one. set the mood for the rest of the story.
edit: and NOTHING is better then watching tex lose it on the reds and tucker.
i just realized that this fic has as many views in 1 day then my main fic got in A WEEK AND A HALF! i guess you could say im...
familyfriendlyfrugality.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Welchs-Grape-Jelly.jpg
294469 I just can't wait for the mane 6 to comment about how horrible they all treat each other.
O god, you captured the cast of RvB perfectly!
My sides are splitting!
You have the rvb characters perfectly!
Well done.
i just noticed that it's been labeled with sex and gore tags. while i can understand the sex (you are going to put RD and tucker in the same room after all
), with the mood of the story so far, it just doesn't seam like gore will fit. im just wondering what your planing that it would be necessary.
294821
Well, I can say that there will be some later on, but i don't want to spoil much.
294963 ok, just wondering.
Oh god, I can see it now. Our heroes from Blood Gulch are going to start liking our heroins of Equestria and they will all become couples... This is going to be so great.
Oh Celestia, you dumb royal, always sticking your big nose in other people's business. Shoulda just sent them back. When will you learn? You can't force life changing lessons, and these guys, they ain't gonna fit into your perfect little world. I think Equestria is in for some Fun. :D
this is perfect
you've combined my two favorite things and made it work.
thank you so much!
387575
Thank you for the compliment but let's be honest, it is far from perfect.
387600 But it's amazingly well done nonetheless. I laughed for so much of the story, and the RvB crew are perfect so far! I'm not regretting picking this up with 48 unread chapters.
... Okay, yeah, sorry, but don't expect me to comment EVERY SINGLE FRELLING chapter, kay? Takes a lot of time I don't have, kay-thanks.
Did you just--you did. You devious, brilliant bastard, you.
love how sarge insulted grif
I feel as though sarge's cutie mark will be a fist connecting with a orange helmet...
Uhh..."Nopony can have the same cutie mark?" I think you're forgetting Doctor Whooves, Minuette (Colgate/Romana), and Perry Pierce, among others. They all share the same hourglass cutie mark.
Also, there's the fact you misspelled Rarity's name. Please correct.
I'm sorry, but you have made a mistake. As of somewhat recently, the term "Cutie Mark" no longer applies for males of the Dquine species. Instead, they are referred to as "Emblems" or "Stud Stamps"
it would make more sense if simmons was at twillight cause there both Eggheads
752739
I made up 'flank sigils', well maybe. Someone else might have thought of it before me.
why you no pair grif and Dash????
Simmons helping out Rarity? That seems like it would be be more up Donut's ally.
Dammit Donut, why can't you still be alive?
“Bow chicka bow wow.”
lost it
294676 you clever bastard you using the image of a jar of jelly
Church is like... Motherbucker, why the buck does this always happen to ME!?
Sarge is... Sarge is... Sarge is... Sarge is, well, he's... I like Sarge here. He's just like... whatever you say.
734982
Well its because there all time lords
"Caboose, are you a horse?"
"No, i'm a pony. There's a difference"
*Spends next 10 minutes lying on the ground laughing*
donut would fit so good with rarity and simons more the nerd would fit very good with twi but donut is dead and twi and churg is gonna be interesting
Wouldn't it be better if Rainbow Dash was paired with Grif? After all their both lazy and love to take naps.
[youtube=P1cdrm7sz3o]
This went through my head reading this chapter
No pony can have the same cutie mark, and they have to come naturally. They will not appear if you use anything to try and force it. It can only be received in time." can someone tell that to the cmc. Thank you.
Church`s cutie mark must be a crosshair. just for the sheer irony. must read more!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If Texas an Carolina come in they will probably be with the princesses.
hmmmm.... I like the pairing, but it would have been interesting for them all to have figured the pairs out for themselves....
Oh well, next chapter!
"Is she hot?" Tucker asked, and felt as if he had just been stomped on his groin with the force of a million suns. "God dammit."
Tucker, I have some news for you...
Noticed a few punctuation issues, but the amount of hilarity made up for it. Especially this:
This is freaking hilarious!
2438591 dude i agree. and i love this because of that. the red's and blue's are almost perfect with personality, except grif gets whacked in the balls all the time, not tucker.
i.imgur.com/NMiEdID.jpg
How the..? Your actually making this work? Why do these fit so well together? And what will Sarge do to Big Macintosh to earn AJ's respect?
2001009
Tex with luna, wow! love to see that.
1479130
Too bad Wash shot him.
3034994
You confused the hell out of me there, because I associate 'Wash' with Firefly first, RvB second. Damnit, Washbourne!