Chapter 23: Battle of the Spartans
I Have Returned Chapter 23:
The Battle of the Spartans
Crimson’s cell was guarded by two Spartans on each side of the door. Usually it would just be two marines instead, but even without armour, Crimson was a deadly foe that could easily overpower a few marines. It made sense that Jane would choose Spartans to be the ones guarding him.
Thankfully Palmer outranked the two guards, making getting into Crimson’s cell very easy, whether the soldiers liked Palmer or not.
Casually, she walked up to the guards and cleared her throat.
“I need to see Spartan Dougherty for a moment.” Palmer said.
“What for?” The soldier on the left replied.
“That’s classified, and above your pay grade.” Palmer lied. Of course she needed an excuse though. “I just need to see him. You can consider it an order.”
One of the guards imputed a code into Crimsons cell door. The two stepped aside as the reinforced door slid open.
Palmer walked in, and the door closed behind her. The room was as bare as it could be. No windows, no bed, just a toilet for Crimson, and a long metal bench for him to sit and sleep on.
Crimson himself sat slumped over on the bench. Palmer couldn’t see his face in it’s entirety, but she could tell that he had been crying.
Kneeling down, she put a hand on his shoulder. Noticing this, Crimson looked up at Palmer, his face stricken with dry tears.
“I just can’t believe all of this has happened.” He said. “I thought Jane was my friend. And now practically my whole life has been turned around in just a matter of a few days.”
“This isn’t over yet Crimson. We still have a chance to stop Jane before she causes any more damage.”
He took a deep breath and stared Palmer right in the eyes. At this moment it felt like Sarah could see into his soul through his dark brown eyes. Eyes that were filled with sorrow, and pain.
“Palmer?”
“Yes?”
“Do you think that we’re going to have to kill Jane?”
Palmer sighed. “I don’t know. Hell at this point in time I don’t really know anything. All that I know is that she has to be stopped. If that means killing her, then it’s what we are going to have to do.”
“But what if we incapacitate her, and arrest her. Maybe then she could just be sent off to prison, and she could possibly get psychological help.”
Sarah couldn’t help but feel sorry for Crimson. A good friend betrayed him, and while he knew that Jane had to be stopped, he still cared about her enough to want to keep her alive. It went to show that no matter how bad a person could become, a good friend will never completely turn their back on a person.
“Honestly Brennan, if she does go to prison and get psychological help and realize that what she has done here is wrong, then she’ll be forced to live the rest of her life knowing what she did. Living day by day with memories like that, I can’t say for certain, but that must be a pain worse than death.”
“So what are we going to do? Jane has the elements after all.”
“Well first off we’re going to have to get those elements away from her.”
“Jane did take prisoner one of Equestria’s princesses. Maybe she can replace Jane as the final element barer.”
Crimson was onto something. If this princess knew the elements bearers well enough, then it could work!
“Which princess?”
“Princess Luna.”
Yes! This was good, her new friends had history with Luna. It could very well work.
“Good, maybe Luna can be the Element of Magic in Jane’s place. It is a risky move though.”
“What other choice to we have?”
“Hmmm. We don’t know if Luna can activate the element of magic. So what I am thinking is that I grab the ponies, escape down to the planet and try to hide. If Jane finds us, then we’ll try having Luna and the others use the elements against her.”
“That might kill Jane though.”
“Maybe, maybe not. The bearers have told me stories of their adventures. They said that Luna used to be evil, and when they used the elements on her, it took the evil away. It might have the same effect on Jane.”
“You really think so?”
“I don’t know. It’s all we have though. Where is Luna?”
“I have no idea.”
All of a Sudden a disembodied voice spoke to them.
“I think I can help with that.” It said. A peditool came out from the wall right behind Crimson, with Roland on top of it.
“You know where she is?” Palmer asked.
“As of right now I am the ship’s main A.I. I know everything.”
“And you want to help us?”
“I’m not fond of what Jane’s doing either. It’s just that I can’t say no directly to her face. In fact, I’ve already sent the guards outside of this room, the ones outside of Luna’s, and the element bearers rooms away. Also I have you armour ready Crimson, incase you need it. Needless to say, I did this all in about half a second.”
Palmer chuckled. “You A.I.’s are miracle workers. Where is Luna?”
“Just a few hallways down in cell 19. Be quick though, Jane is planning to head down to the planet soon. Wouldn’t want to bump into her on your way.”
“Alright, lets go Crimson.”
Behind Palmer, the door to the hallway opened. Probably due to Roland. Outside the guards were nowhere to be seen as the two Spartans stepped out.
On a nearby wall there was a sign listing Cell numbers and which directions they were in. Cells 0-15 were to the right of them, and 15-30 were to the left.
Cautiously the two started to make their way towards where Luna was, both of them keeping their eyes peeled for anyone out there who might catch them. Crimson right now was supposed to be a prisoner, if Palmer was caught aiding his escape, she would be in deep shit as well.
Moving around a corner Palmer spotted a marine. He looked over at her way, and instantly spotted Crimson. He walked over to her, and asked.
“What are you doing with that prisoner? He is only to be moved under Captain Arimondo’s authority.”
Dammit. Palmer didn’t have time for this. There was only one thing she could do at a time like this.
“I’m sorry.” She said.
“Sorry for what?” He responded, before Palmers fist collided with his face, knocking him out cold.
“Sorry for that.”
Crimson moved past Palmer, and picked up the unconscious soldiers MA5D assault rifle.
“Just incase.” Crimson said.
Eventually they finally made their way to Luna’s cell. The door opened the moment they walked up to it, probably due to Roland.
They layout was exactly the same as where Crimson was held. On the metal bench there was a passed out Luna. Her horn cracked for some reason.
Pointing to the horn Palmer said. “Did Jane do that?”
“Yes she did.”
“That bitch.”
Palmer knelt down right next to Luna and started to gently shake her. Slowly the alicorns body began to rustle, and her eyes finally opened.
When Luna seemed to be finally awake enough to notice, and process her surroundings, she instantly tried to kick Palmer away from her.
“AHHHH! Get away from me!” She screamed.
Palmer grasped the Lunar princess, while shushing her.
“Be quiet. We’re here to get you out of here. My name is Sarah Palmer.”
“And you already know me, but I’m Brennan aka Crimson.” Crimson added.
Luna after calmer down asked Palmer. “Why are you helping me?”
“We don’t like what Jane is trying to do, and want to stop her. We’re breaking you, and the element bearers out of here.”
“What about the elements themselves?”
“We’re grabbing those too. After that we’ll escape down to the planet and go into hiding. Hopefully Jane won’t be able to find us.”
“And if she does?”
“Then you and the rest of the bearers will have to use the Elements of Harmony on her.”
“Fine then.” Luna said, getting up.
“Good then.” Palmer said. “We should all get going to break out the others.”
“Actually no.” Crimson intervened. “You guys break them out. I’ll distract Jane.”
Palmer was baffled by this.
“What do you mean?”
“You heard what Roland said. Jane is planning on heading down to the planet. I can hold her off giving you guys time to escape and hide.”
“You’re going to fight her?”
“If I have to then yes, I’ll fight her.”
“Crimson that's stupid, you’re far too close to Jane. Plus she’s far more powerful than any of us!”
“Which is why I’m the only one who can do it. It just wouldn’t feel right if it was anyone else. I care about her the most, which is why it’s only right for me to be the one to stand against her.”
“But what if you have to kill her? Do you think you’ll be able to bring yourself to do that to her?”
“You said it yourself Palmer. If Jane ever snaps out of this, she won’t ever be able to live with herself. Maybe death if the only way to free her.”
Crimson was breathing heavily. His sorrow was still there, but he now had a sort of fire to his eyes. He was determined, and Palmer could tell that he wasn’t going to hold back.
“Fine then, but how are you going to get around her magic? She’s practically a god with it.”
Crimson turned around and opened up the door. Before leaving though he turned his head around and said. “I have something in mind for that.”
And with that, he left. Luna and Palmer glanced at each other and gave a quick nod of confirmation. They were on the same page now.
“Alright Luna, let's get going.”
“I second that.”
______________________________________________________________
UNSC INFINITY S Deck.
The machine had just finished putting on Crimson’s blue and white armour. Stepping down of off the apparatus he took a quick look to admire his armour. He loved his venator RPTR armour body, it clashed perfectly with his deadeye helmet. A solar vizor added to it, as a metaporical cherry on top. It was his perfect armour configuration, and it might be the last time he would wear it.
From a nearby weapons rack, Crimson grabbed two energy swords recovered from the INFINITY’s many battles against the storm Covenant. These were just what he needed.
A whooshing sound came from the other side of the room, signaling a door opening. Crimson turned around, and needless to say there was Jane. Now though, she was different.
Jane’s hair was now purely black, and was much shorter. That didn’t matter though, because she instantly noticed him, and she didn’t look happy about it.
“How the fuck did you escape!” She yelled at him.
“That’s none of your business Jane.”
Of Course she scoffed at his come back.
“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t kick your ass, and send you back to your cell with three broken ribs, a black eye, and magical burns.”
“That’s exactly what I’m here to see if you can do.”
“You’ve tested my patience far too many times. I have more pressing matters right now than you. You’re a good man Brennan, don’t make me hurt you more, because I will.”
“Well then you’ll have to do your best. I’ve known you for a long time Jane, I’ve seen good in you. I know behind all of the pain you’ve endured, there’s a good person. If I have to fight you to bring that Jane back, then I will.”
There was no time to think about whether this was the right thing to do. Or time to think about whether he was fighting her to end her pain once and for all, or to bring the Jane he knew back in the vain hope that one day she’ll be able to find peace with herself. All that he knew was that he had to fight, and pray to god that whatever the outcome of the battle would be the right one.
“Do you honestly think that you stand a chance against me?”
“Get your armour on.”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“I said get your armour on.”
Jane gave him a quick glare before complying, and stepping into a nearby machine to put on her armour.
Shortly after she stepped out, fully suited up just like him.
Removing his helmet Crimson said. “No helmets either.” To which Jane complied, throwing her helmet on the ground.
“Anything else before we get started?”
Crimson took one of the energy swords placed on his belt, and tossed it towards Jane who with ease caught it.
“No magic, no nothing. Just you and me. Spartan on Spartan, sword on sword. Clear?”
“Crystal.”
At the same time both of them activated their energy swords. The twin blades glowing with life, and making a faint humming sound.
Crimson however didn’t get to enjoy it’s beauty for long as Jane lunged right at him, swinging her sword down. In response Crimson raised his to block her attack. The swords clashed, but the force of Jane’s attack send Crimson back a few paces.
Before having any time to recover Jane swung at him again. keeping his sword in the same place, he blocked that attack as well.
That only egged Jane on though and she started to make multiple faster swings at him, further sending Crimson back. If things kept up like this he would surely be backed up into a wall in no time.
“Are you going to stay on the defense forever Brennan!”
With this Jane swung again at Crimson. This time though, he backed up quickly to the point in which she missed him. Using this opening Crimson took his first swing at Jane; however she adopted the same tactic as him, and dodged it, the blade of Crimsons sword just barely touching her armour.
“Now that’s more like it!” Jane yelled, swinging her sword again.
At the same time though, Crimson made a swing causing the two energy blades to clash sending sparks flying.
“Just stop this Jane. This can all end here!”
“Really? Do you honestly think that I’ll stop after I’ve come so far!?”
“You said that we’d leave after we got the elements!”
“Well guess what Crimson, the slip space drives are still broken, and Equestria has turned out to be a shield world. There is so much that we can obtain from it, why stop now?”
Crimson could feel the force of Jane pushing his sword back, it felt like a deadly arm wrestle, except he was loosing.
Eventually Jane managed to win, as she pushed Crimson away. As he staggered back, Jane delivered a quick kick to the shin putting him down on one knee. Now she gave a quick uppercut with her energy sword, the blade searing through the front of his armour with the tips barely hitting his skin.
The burn caused Crimson to cry out in pain. It wasn't over though as Jane kicked him in the ribs, sending him back first to the floor.
Crimson tried to get up, but Jane put her boot on him preventing the already weak soldier from moving.
Kneeling down Jane said. “Don’t ever cross me again.” Before giving him one swift punch to the face knocking him out.
___________________________________________________________
UNSC Pelican
The pelican finally made its way out of INFINITY’s hanger giving Palmer a sigh of relief.
She turned her head to look at Luna who was sitting right next to her. She looked pained, but not emotional pain, she looked like she was in physical pain.
“You alright?” Palmer asked.
“Urrgh, it’s just that your species looks so familiar. It’s like I’ve seen your kind before. It’s on the tip of my tongue, but everytime I try to think about it, I get a searing pain inside of my head.”
This was odd. Why would Luna be like that. The thought of her ever encountering humans before was ludicrous beyond belief.
“What do you think it is?”
“I have no idea. It’s almost as something is trying to keep me from remembering. Either way, thank you for doing this.”
“Trust me, I like Jane just as much as you do. She’s crazy for trying to do this. But honestly though, what made you trust me?”
“It was the other one, the blue one.”
“You mean Crimson?”
“Yes, quite an odd name for someone who wears blue.”
“It’s just a nickname, his real name is Brennan Dougherty.”
“Yes, he came the night before the attack on the Crystal Empire to warn us. Also during the attack he tried to stop Jane.”
“I don’t know Crimson well, but I do know that he is a very morally driven soldier, with a good sense of justice.”
Palmer looked out the window of the cockpit. In the middle of what she assumed to be the everfree forest was a massive gravity well just like on Requiem. Damn, this place must be another shield world!
Palmer pointed to the opening.
“We’ll hide in there, it’ll be harder for Jane to find us inside the planet.” Palmer said. “And chances are we’ll find some answers to whatever is happening to you as well.”
“I agree.”
__________________________________________________________
A team of soldiers removed Crimsons unconscious body to the medical wing. His injuries should be minor, but it was always best to go on the side of caution.
As of right now Jane was walking down a hallway leading to a hanger when she spotted something outside the window. It was a pelican, and it was heading down the gravity well and into the inner planet.
Jane didn’t authorize anything of the sort, who would do that? Wait? Dammit, no it couldn’t be.
“Roland!” She barked. “Status on the prisoners.”
Roland's voice came through a nearby speaker. “I don’t know how, but they’ve managed to escape captain.”
“Dammit! Crimson’s fight with me was only a distraction! He must have been covering for them.”
“That was smart of him.”
But who would be the one flying the pelican? Wait, it had to be Palmer. She was barely going along with Jane in the first place, it could only be her.
“Problem is though that they’re going to spring whatever trap was laid there by our gracious captain killing friend.”
“That can’t be good.”
“We’ll head down now after them. Make a fragment of yourself Roland.”
“No can do, I’m barely keeping Pearl out as it is, if I made a fragment myself she could break through the firewalls I set up.”
"Fine then, I’ll go on my own.”
Jane took one last look at the gravity well. Palmer was an idiot for going down that way. Jane had to get down there immediately, both to stop Palmer and her old friends from doing anything stupid, and to get to the bottom of this Celestia mystery once and for all.
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As sad as i am to say it, i agree with what Palmer and Crimson said about killing her. try not to, but doesn't hesitate to if you have the chance. death may very well be a blessing in disguise for her.
5940802
5943405
Let me premise this with the fact that i have not yet read the story, but i plan to.
Already i get the feeling that Twilight has been through an experience more akin to the 40k universe then the Halo universe....If she is THAT screwed up, the UNSC would have put her through forced retirement, or an honorable discharge (I believe its called a section 9 discharge for mental health? i cant quite remember... CWO help me out...)
Twilight being scared and changed for ever, is only normal... war does that too you. though HOW it changes you is based on two things... the intensity of the experience, and your personal character (and potentially other issues that feed into the 'personal character' thing, such as your predisposition to mental illness, family support, faith and the like). If you are saying twilight would have issues, sense she has been cut off from her fam/friends during the war... well crap, that is completely understandable. But you might want to dial it down a bit if CWO's description is any indication. It might help the story's readability.
Second, the UNSC and the spartan's ... even spartan 4's, do not kill mercilessly, they accept / grant quarter (they take prisoners and accept surrender), In halo they have been at the for front of negotiations with minor alien races for first contact, and have done a bang up job. I am both excited to see what sets off the battle, and am also a little bit concerned. It would have to be something very serious to set them off... I get the feeling your going with a "KILL THE XENO!" moment here... but i will have to read and find out i suppose.
Just a few thoughts to think about if you plan on revising.
5968772 I had to look it up myself, I'm not typically evaluating for separation. I believe you are referring to the old "Section 8" mentally unfit for service discharge, which would have been an "other than honorable" discharge that would be upgraded to "Honorable" after a period of time provided you had no civil issues withstanding. This is all handled under separate regulations now, 635-200, and a 9... chapter 9 is a substance abuse misconduct discharge, so that's not the right one.
Ah, it is now ODPMC, Other Designated Physical and Mental Conditions Discharge.
5968772 Because you have not read the story for youself, I'll just repeat the authors notes on the most recent chapter.
I Have Returned does not attempt to, nor claim to represent what actual post traumatic stress disorder is like. It is a fictional story meant for entertainment alone, and should not be taken as a serious look into the effects of war on soldiers. All that I Have Returned does is use concepts and ideas to tell a story. Infact I have refrained from using terms such as PSTD in the story for these very reasons.
As for revising the story. I don't know to be honest. Right now the story is about 80% done, so it's a little to late to massively change anything. As for going back and changing things, I'm not sure about that either. Honestly I don't think I'll be hanging around fimfiction much after I complete the story, so I don't think that it would be worth the effort. Perhaps if this arguement happened earlier along in the story things would be different. Infact early in the story I did get some constructive criticism from a few people that aided the story very well.
Right now honestly I just want to end this whole ordeal with myself and CWO as maturely as I can, because I have talked to a few people and they have warned me that if it keeps on going something bad could happen, and frankly I agree. Most of the people I have talked to claim that I should just delete the comments from earlier, and anything related to them, but as of now I am disagreeing with them because I firmly don't believe in cencorship. Sadly though if things persist I might just have to follow their suggestion incase this all starts to garner negative attention.
This will be hopefully the final statement on this matter. I have said what I've needed to say about this story being purely fictional and not being representative of reality, and that's honestly the best I can do at this point in time, and I hope this will be a satisfactory end to this predicament for all of us.
5969430
No worrys. I understand.
Though i think you should continue to work on Fimfiction. This is a great sight, and though personally i don't think your story is to my taste, I don't think you should leave because of that... that would be silly.
Anyway, are you planning on becoming a professional author with Original Fiction?
5969957 I am not leaving fimfiction because of you. It's just that I've been getting a little bored of mlp in general. Although I am detirmined to finish the story beforehand, because I hate it when authors don't finish stories. So don't worry, you and CWO have nothing to do with me wanting to leave fimfiction.
As for original fiction, maybe. I am a novice writer so I might try my hand a few shorter stories to work on my skills before moving onto anything big. Then again I am a collage student studying earth and environmental sciences, so that's the patch I'll probably go down instead of being a full on author.
Seriously, does any one else want to kill Twi/Jane for her stupidity in not even thinking Roland helped them. He's an AI for Celestia's sake, he would have known and told Jane if he was loyal to her
5969991
In that case, i would suggest revising. THat is the number one thing you will do after you have a rough draft of a manuscript. So once you are done with this one, i would suggest going through and revising it as you see fit, that way you get experience not only writing and working with an editor, you get experience REwriting.
Thats what i'm doing with my "lost magic and betrayal" story.
In my opinion, I can side with Jane/Twi. Since she can bring so much new and good things to pony society (of course the bad, but that's just nature).
But all those stories that the "bad guy" always loses, so it's no surprise if she does. in this case Jane can be considered the "bad guy" despite being the Protagonist
I betcha that there is a Forerunner down there, I mean where could have the Prometheans come from that attacked the Infinity, only the Didact had Prometheans, and where the hell could someone get there hands on Prometheans, these guys were sealed on Requiem for about 100,000 years. Yeah, put the puzzle pieces together, I get the conclusion that there is a Forerunner down on Equis. He/She probably even killed Jane's team, and the only beings able to do what He/She did, is Forerunners and Unicorns.
This was one of the many writing errors in this chapter.
I got the chills, man... I got the chills...
One part of me wants Jane to die, but another wants her to turn her back into Twilight...
As your note has stated, there is not much else I can say to clarify. I offered some basic advice and it is obvious we are not discussing the same things. I've not seen any private messages or site mail that expresses any concerns or to back off. So if people have issues with what I have said, they need to tell me why I am wrong and why they are right. As I've said, I'm reasonable, I just finally choose to be direct instead of dancing around, as the author is not understanding and focusing on the wrong things in my argument.
I'll give you an nod for your integrity for keeping the posts up, but again, no one is sending me messages to back off.