• Published 13th Nov 2013
  • 15,779 Views, 683 Comments

One of Those Days - Taranth



Ever had one of those days when you wake up to find you've accidentally switched places with your counterpart in a world where you and all your friends are stallions?

  • ...
40
 683
 15,779

6:30AM - Wake up

A purple pony princess yawned as she read through the book before her. It was a study of harmony, and balance, and the elements that made it up.

Even when the Elements themselves were not mentioned, harmony lay at the centre of so much of Equestria's history. Between individual ponies... between earth ponies, pegasi and unicorns... between ponies as a whole, and other species they dealt with...

She yawned again, glancing at her clock and noting the time. Study time was over. Time to go to bed. She had a big day tomorrow, all planned out and scheduled with all of her closest friends, and the day after the princesses would be visiting - nothing too formal, but she had been looking forward to it.

As she settled herself into her bed, she shifted to get comfortable with her new wings. She smiled as she thought about her status as an alicorn - a being of Harmony, a combination of all three tribes.

She snickered to herself as she suddenly remembered something she had read early on in her student life under the princess. She had found a book on the nature of alicorns that stated they represented all forms of ponies - and on top of having the features of all three tribes, also had those of both genders.

Her next encounter with the princess had been one of awkward but wide-eyed wonder as she tried to determine how the princess had concealed her additional equipment, until the princess had finally grown concerned and - with a great deal of embarrassment - finally coaxed the reason for the filly's confusion out of her. Fortunately, Celestia had been far more amused than offended, and had introduced Twilight to the novel concept that not everything written in a book could be believed.

Well, she was certainly glad that book hadn't been true now.

It was an interesting thought, though. Was balance between the genders part of Harmony too? All of the bearers were mares. Admittedly, there were far more mares than stallions in Equestria, but even with the gender ratio, if a representative sample of the population was taken, one or two of the bearers would have been male.

As she found her comfortable position and began drifting off, she added that to her mental checklist for study in the future.

Her last thought before she fell asleep was wondering if things would have been different if any of the element bearers were stallions.

To be fair, if she'd fallen asleep a few leaps of logic earlier, her morning would probably have been even more embarrassing.

~-~-~-~

Despite what many tabloids, rumours, or derivative works of fiction might suggest, none of the princesses of Equestria were known for having any difficulty getting up in the morning.

There was a persistent joke that ran the rounds among the uninformed (or at least, that portion of the uninformed who stood nowhere near the royal guards at the time) that even Celestia often had trouble rousing herself as the day broke, and often raised the sun without rising from her bed, or even in her sleep. This was decidedly false, as any who worked in the castle might attest to - whether through millennia of habit, magical inclination, or simply attention to duty, Celestia left her chambers well before dawn each day. A few years ago, this had been to get an early start on the day's work; these days, that extra time was spent with her sister whenever possible.

That very sister, of course, was no more likely to be abed at dawn than an average pony was to retire precisely at dusk, but that was somewhat cheating - regardless, she followed much the same schedule of her sister with the obvious day-night inversion, rising without complaint while the sun still hung well above the horizon, and spending well the overlap where the two sisters could be together.

The third alicorn princess, she who governed Love and the Crystal Empire, had neither hundreds of years' experience, solar or lunar responsibility, or particularly urgent tasks as an excuse to drag her from her bed at an early hour. But Princess Mi Amore Cadenza did so nonetheless, for she was that most rare and unfair of things - a natural, honest-to-Celestia morning pony, leaping out of bed and greeting each day with the joy and excitement of a filly.

And finally, there was Equestria's newest princess, she who governed Magic itself. Those who knew her habits and obsessions might expect her to be the sort to stay up until all hours of morning trying to complete a project or unable to put down a book, but this could not be further from the truth.

For while Celestia and Luna had their heavenly bodies, and Cadance had her nature, Twilight Sparkle had checklists and schedules. Her mentor had taught her from a very young age that she needed to be healthy and well-rested to study effectively, and that lesson had stuck with her. Barring (admittedly common) disaster, Twilight went to bed when she had planned to go to bed, and woke when she planned to wake, feeling refreshed and ready to start the day, if not quite with the same enthusiasm as her foalsitter.

So with those facts as a given, that Twilight had to blearily drag herself out of the depths of sleep with considerable effort just to get to a point where she could vaguely conceive of the idea of getting up and facing the day should have been the first sign that it was going to be one of those days.

Of course, at that point, any thought so complex was beyond her as she snuggled tighter under her blankets, determined to win a couple more minutes of comfortable rest in her fortress from the assembled forces that sought to drag her into the waking world.

The sun itself made up the vanguard of her enemies, shining brightly through her window, too bright for her eyelids to provide protection, and she tossed, trying to turn away from its piercing gaze, muttering instinctive apologies to Celestia as she did so.

That blended straight into the second assault on her half-awake state, as she forgot her newly-obtained appendages and turned in just the wrong way, twisting her wing beneath her - not truly painfully, but uncomfortably enough that it required her to pull her body off the bed briefly to resolve.

And after that, she just couldn't get comfortable again. She whimpered, tossing and turning, but it was like the bed was rejecting her, the old mattress not supporting her just right no matter how she tried to fit her body into the subtle mould of the bed.

Finally, the remembrance of a long and involved checklist she had written for the day's tasks struck the final blow, and she sighed. Betrayed by sun, wings, bed and schedule alike, she reluctantly lit her horn and pulled her covers aside, ready to start the day.

She staggered over to her dresser and blearily stared at herself in the mirror for a few moments before beginning the process of cleaning herself up to start the day. She was no Rarity, but she had her look, she liked her look, and having a Princess show up with mane and feathers askew would likely cause concern, comments, and inefficiency.

The next hint that it might be one of those days was when she reached out with her telekinesis without looking for some of her makeup, only for the magic to fail to grip anything. Her vanity was not as she had expected it. This was cause for consternation, as she was usually very exact with where she left things, and the things she sought were not there at all. For a long moment, she blearily stared at the table, mind ticking over but not coming up with any memories of why it might be so altered.

But in the greater scheme of things, this was a fairly minor issue with many possible explanations, and she wasn't yet awake enough to concern herself with it. She'd ask Spike about it later.

So she cheated, and used magic. In the back of her mind, an imaginary Rarity gave her a scandalised gasp and disappointed look, which she did her best to ignore, but still could not fully suppress a wince at the imagined scolding in her head.

Now physically ready to meet the day, the next step was clear and obvious. Breakfast.

She opened the door, trying to decide what she would put together for the opening meal of the day, and was immediately struck with the divine scent of berry pancakes wafting through the library. Oh, Spike... I don't deserve you. The concept of freshly-cooked pancakes right now - not to mention not having to put any effort into making them - sounded like absolute heaven to her still-drowsy mind, and she floated down the stairs - quite literally, her wings and magic supporting her, following that heavenly wafting smell.

She dropped herself down to the cushions beside the dining table in the library, letting her hooves clatter loudly against the floor before she curled them under herself to alert her number one assistant that she was awake and downstairs.

She could hear him singing a wordless tune along with the sizzle of the batter. She noted to herself that he was getting quite good at singing - he was hitting higher notes than she'd expect him to be able to reach. Admittedly, if I didn't know Spike, the idea of a dragon singing at all would be rather ridiculous, wouldn't it?

She giggled to herself at the idea of the enormous dragon they had evicted from the mountain nearby trying to sing as part of the musical numbers that rolled through Ponyville occasionally. Or dance as part of it. It might be a little rude, but it was an entertaining thought nonetheless.

She heard the clatter of pottery as her assistant prepared the last few pieces and then heard the singing grow closer, in time with his footsteps as he made his way into the library proper. Her eyes still closed, she lifted her head to savour the smell.

"Mmm, that smells delicious. Just what I need tod--"

A massive crash cut Twilight off, her eyes shooting open as she saw Spike staring at her, dumbfounded. He had dropped everything he was holding, two cups of apple juice now staining the tiles, though the plate of pancakes had landed upright.

"What happened?" She looked at the stunned dragon, concerned. "What's wrong? Actually..." She blinked, staring as she realised... "You... look different. Thinner, lighter colour... oh no, I didn't do something to you in my sleep again did I? Are you alright?"

"...Something to me?!" her assistant replied in a voice that was shocked, slightly strangled, but most importantly undeniably female. "Dusk, what have you done to you?"

For a long moment the two could only stare at each other, before Twilight let her head sink down onto the table with a long-suffering moan.

Yep. It was definitely going to be one of those days.

Author's Note:

Because Rule 63 is Best Rule.

Inspired, of course, by the ever classic On a Cross and Arrow.

This fic is possibly the start of a series (if I can ever get around to finishing this one, of course, let alone starting another one) regarding the fun Princess Twilight is having getting control of her new uberMagic. She's going to be having a lot of Those Days.

I didn't really want to publish it until I had more of it written, but I wanted to get it out before the new season completely invalidates it on principle, so there you go.

Also, this is entirely unedited, and somewhat different from my usual fare, so please feel free to be scathing with suggestions for improvements!

Enjoy!