• Member Since 5th Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen Dec 22nd, 2015

Vinyl Mfing Scratch


Love what you live for, and Live for what you love.

T

Vinyl is forced by her studio manager to look for some new, fresh talent. The search is going terribly. Until she stumbles upon a very talented, yet mysterious stallion, whom she finds herself falling for in more ways than one.

Chapters (14)
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Comments ( 50 )

I like it, Great story bro.

Follower and poster number Uno.

Edit:

Dous

3413443 Thank you. There will be more to come, and hopefully it'll be even better.

3413446
Awesome, I'll be looking forward to it.

This deserves more views:flutterrage:
I'll promote it on my "Check These Out" list back on my user page.

Maybe I should do a heartwarming moment with Vinyl as wel...

3442823 If you do, I greatly appreciate it. And I'm glad you enjoyed it :twilightsmile:

I like how you use your real rapper name for this...lol
and nice chapter 1(I mean prologue) I am ecstatic to read the next chapters ^_^
:raritystarry: :ajsmug: :trixieshiftright: :pinkiehappy:

The Day Before
Minor Errors:
3rd Paragraph - Toog instead of Took
Evidence:
"She proceeded to groom herself to the point of satisfaction, which toog longer than usual due to the "incredible stallion" she was going to be interviewing today."

4th-Paragraph - A instead of I
Evidence:
"'Look at me, going crazy for a guy a barely know'."

5th-Paragraph-Regaurdless instead of Regardless
Evidence:
"Regaurdless of her previous partners, she had quite the feeling of this new stallion."

Besides this i didn't see anything else,and to be honest couldn't tell,got my Dizzy Wright album playing at max volume,and zoning out on both the lyrics and the story xD
Loving it so far BTW

The Day Of:Part 2
Minor Errors:

1st-Paragraph Thsi instead of This,Nout instead of Not
Evidence:
"Thsi made Vinyl snap back to reality."
Evidence 2:
"She very much did not want him to have to leave before absolutely necessary, and she was nout about to question his being early."

1 Up from the last line,Mantane instead of maintain
Evidence:
"But she, of course, had to mantane her composure and shook her head to come back to her senses."


Still really enjoying this
again zoning out to both Dizzy Wright lyrics and the story
and don't think I'm trying to pick on you with fixing everything i see
its something a artist should be able to take without it hurting them,weather it be in rap,poetry,or story writing(I mean different,tiers of criticism tho...)
As this story goes on tho,im expecting a plot twist,it would be cool
like maybe you find out that Dj ShoutOut is homeless (Not a diss towards you,lol)
or maybe Vinyl now has someone in her family dieing.
Just an idea
this is your story tho,and you get creative freedom for what you do.
just saying what i suspect to happen
anyways,great story so far.

At first i thought this was going to be O.k...
now I'm screaming at my computer monitor
"PLS NEXT CHAPTER PLS!!!!??!?!"
i sound like a ****in' beggar right now xD
:heart::trixieshiftright::heart:

3458973 I really just used that as a placeholder until Vinyl actually learns his real name.

3459060 Fixed. Thanks for that. I hadn't noticed, I was semi-distracted while writing.

3459092 Thanks again for the feedback. I might even take your advice and a plot twist like that.

More! And can I submit an OC to act as the head of security? Like someone that Vinyl can talk to? Please

3481111

I don't see why not. If I like what I see about the OC Then I could see about incorporating it into the story. PM Me to talk about it further.

P.S. Glad you enjoyed it.

"Are you going to invite me in, or are you going to just sit there and stare at me, or are you going to invite me inside?"

This little bit here is redundant and sounds weird if you read it aloud. It's none of my business but it would probably be better if you picked one of the "invite me in's" and did away with the other.

In the title of your chapter you have "fiathful" instead of faithful"

3490925
I appreciate the feedback.
Everything's fixed.

When does the new chapter come out?

3520309

I've been going through a rough patch with my life, but it recently concluded so I'll try and finish it up by next weekend.

3524718 sorry to here that. im here if u want to talk. not to sound creepy or anything like that

I'm a huge fan of this story, but this chapter could have been better. I totally felt no suspense, and the romance was flat. But the last 6 chapters were 10/10!

Need an example on how Carbon 'motivated' his coworkers?

3579940

I've been having a bit of trouble writing this because I've agreed to incorporate somebody's OC So I was focusing on trying to portray him correctly so I got distracted from the other characters.
Most definitely will not happen again.


I do appreciate the feedback, and I'll make sure the next chapter is worth it.

Comment posted by vansmidt deleted Dec 5th, 2013

Hey man nice story, always liked Vinyl. And thanks for the Fav. I'm just getting started and this is the 1st story in years for me. I like the romance aspect of your story, and I'm looking for ideas on my own story. I'm at square one with it though, like who it should even be haha. But hey let me know if you got any ideas or suggestions. Thanks

3580588

I'm glad you enjoyed it. Hopefully after a few days after our move I'll be able to write and update this more regularly.
Any constructive criticism is welcome too, if you see anything wrong.

I hear you, it's hard to find the time for writing. But yea this is well written, nice and creative wording. I gotta say everyone can learn something new from everyone's writing. It's hard to take a scene in your mind and put it on paper, but you do it well.

3667496
I'm working on updating more often, I'm just trying to pull together material for the next few chapters before I just jump blindly into the writing.

I've been having the same setback, that and inspiration. As always good luck to you, may we become great writers yet! Haha

Had a Rainbow 6 Patriots feel to it. I like it.

Nice I like it. Ex-manager is a badass lol, another good chap man, keep it up.

3782273
Glad you think so.


3782323
Yeah, I had fun with that.

This was a nice scene. And ooh a mystery! Can't wait to read more! Good show.:moustache:

Nice chapter!

On a side note: Carbon lost every member in his Spec Ops team. Unless Sound Wave was in his previous unit in the infantry...

3792597

But you have to work with other organizations to get to your position in a Spec. Ops unit.

3793572 I don't think that's how it works. You need to score high in the ASVSB, meet physical requirements, obtain a top secret clearance, then start a long (usual one year plus how ever long you occupational specialty isunless your a US Army Ranger who's training is only 8 weeks if your not a NCO/CO). Normally, special forces have a very high failure ratio.

3794030

Typically, Special Forces recruit directly from the military. You have to have been recruited by the branch of which the Special Ops is a part of.

Ex: If you wanted to join the Navy Seals, you'd first have to have been in the Navy.

Same goes with the Army, Marines, Etc.

Need any one to serve as contacts for Carbon? Like other old teammates since we're doing this noncanon to his past?

Also marine have Sound Wave and Carbon be like training buddies before being reassigned to their units

Awesome as usual. I plan to have Carbon's declassified files along with others as part of a mini series.

When are you updating? Anything I can do to help?

4183725

I've just been pre-occupied with other things going on and haven't had the time to sit down and write.
I'm also starting up a joint story with another friend of mine, so I'm going to work as much as possible to get this one updated as well.

4199796 Awesome. Do you need anything on Carbon? Extra skills and what not?

4199866

You could message me with things like that, and I'll have to check up on it tomorrow, since I've got to go get back to work now.

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