The year is 2025, an unknown infection has broken out and spread across equestria causing everypony to feast on one another, I am all alone in this madness, many of my closest friends have already fallen victim to the infection, I don’t know how I got here but I hope to escape this place of insanity or die trying, my name is Storm Chaser, and this is my story.
(Edit:MOST UPDATES ON THE STORY'S STATUS WILL BE IN MY BLOG POSTS.)
WARNING:contains anthro ponies for the purpose of operating vehicles and using weapons.
this is obviously a crossover of dayz, dayz is a multiplayer mod for the military simulator ARMAII
this will be released by chapters and i will hope to continue this. anything in italics is thoughts
Credits
Writer:
scootsisbest (me)
Editor/pre readers:
ashbloom55 (skype name
e217465 (also Skype name)
Slots available for editors
this is good but here something to go off on. like the back pack here what i would have done
I’m also wearing a backpack of some sort, as a take off my backpack and open it and figerd i want to know what i have on hoove and why i have this. Take a look inside of it i find a flashlight and what look like a bandage roll, and what seems to be a box of painkillers. I took out the flashlight to see it work and so i turn it and and what you know it work still but from the light of it the batteries are dying out soon, better find some new one soon.
by doing that you can put more feel to the fic sure what your doing is good and i did the some thing you did but it can be a turn off by some i should know.
3390478 I take it English isn't your first language, but thanks for the suggestions
I like it. It's a cleaver idea. Though I do have some criticism to give. Please forgive me if I sound like a jerk.
It gave a lot of info about whats happening but doesn't describe it. I was told once that I need show not tell. You told us we woke up on the coast, showing us would have descriptions about of the beach like how you felt the sand in your hands and when you took a deep breath, saltly sea air filled your lungs, or that you woke up and saw the grey clouds passing slowly over you. You could showed what the dead ponies looked like or how it felt running away or why they didn't follow you or at least your thoughts on why. You get what I'm saying. Another thing is that you show what the charcter is thinking but only here and there. In the first paragraph, the character meet the zombies and had no clue what they were. The very next paragraph he's called them infected. There's a mental jump in his head which is confusing, at least to me. One more thing (sorry about all this just tryin to help), this character doesn't seem to have a personality or moral code. In the game, it makes sense cause you have those emotions and think for him and know your playing game so looting bodies and killing things is a given. In an actual zombie apoc, we would have to get over the fact that these used to be people and would probably get sick and throw up the first time or two we saw a dead body ripped open.
I think that's enough criticism for now. I like it and will fave to see how this goes. Sorry again if I came across as butthole.
3390589 english is my frist language but duo to the fact that i couna't speak until i was 7 yrs of age and always have D- in class ( am out of high school last yrs ) are at best a C-.
I have to take the time to writh everthing and is it's hard, hell look at my 1st fic the 1st ch toked me like 3 weeks to get everthing right
3390801 ya most people will do that in real life for sure, but some like me will feel sad for them are something.
My gusse is the morle code i would have been doing is berry the dead bodies and it will not feel right to just burn them in a piles but in the end i have to i can't speac an 1 hr or more to just berry a guy i don't know.
I would have been fine looting dead bodies becasue am somewhat use to them ( my frd works as a grave digger so i hag out with him ) but in the end am mostly feel sorry for them
What's up with all the DayZ crossovers? Why can't we just have a regular old ArmA crossover?
3397233 in due time
3390936oh
3390801 not at all, I appreciate the constructive criticism, it helps for new chapters
i think iots just marvolous darling
considering im an editor 
3390801 for the whole moral code thing, i was going more so towards him being an ex military, as in being used to seeing dead bodies even though i didnt mention it
you could have had it that the weapons were designed for pony use.
3692153 eh the main reason was because i couldn't think of a way to do it, plus if they werent anthro the unicorns would be the only ones to survive
3756704 um.......well you see *runs out of room*
I like the story so far so keep it comeing
I like it but I do have some issues, and forgive me if I come off a bit mean, in my opinion you haven't really captured the feeling of the DayZ experience. While it's true that things like this could happen(save for the being knocked unconscious by the butt of a gun), I can't help but take Storm's journey thus far with a grain of salt, as a DayZ player myself things like that don't happen usually unless your luck is high or you happen to be in with the admins. Anyway, the story has a good build and you know your stuff, but what lacks is description, the weapons, area, and if he is ex-military he should have been able to figure where shots come from by the sound. Overall the story is decent but lacks a bit of substance and backbone to really give us the feel of his experience as gritty and as horrid as the average DayZ player would experience.
So as I said sorry if I come off mean, but I will continue to watch this and I do hope that you keep this going it's a lovely story.
3950098 thank you for the constructive critisisim, i have the story on hiatus atm because of school stuff but i will remember the comment when i begin work on it again
Shit not hatis i dont like that to happen; well ill keep tooned in to see what happens
If I'm not mistaken this is the obvious Walking Dead reference, also I can see you are improving with your writing. Good work, I'll be watching this as always.
4713947 you nailed it. And thanks. I was hoping people wouldn't miss it. I only made it obvious.
I was reminded of AlChestBreach by this. It was that one episode with the guy with two flashlights, and Al says:
"Holy Shit, he has two flashlights, he's Fucking Robot Jesus!"