(Dark Souls Crossover)
Solaire of Astora has experienced the terrifying moments of his tragic existence fending his very soul from demons and undead that plagued his land. His essence dedicated to the truth and his soul bound to the everlasting glow of the sun. Through his own leadership had he shone a beacon of hope throughout the ravaged land of Lordran. But to every soul, their bodies must end. When Solaire is imprisoned to a fate unknown after his final confrontation by the very demon that caused his hell, a new light shines through the darkness of the barriers between life and death. A light greater then the sun itself, and it's glow draws Solaire closer and closer until the world he once knew was but a vision behind him.
Chapters (8)
YOU! WHY YOU WRITE MORE!?!?!?
But yeah so, I'm tracking this.
Why does Lord Gwyn speak in this? He seems more like an enigma if he dosn't speak, so why have him speak? Otherwise, wow! This is something I have been waiting for, I can't wait to see how he responds to Celestia
! Close enough anyway. I want a FULL crossover one of these days with Celestia in Gwyneveres place, Luna in Gwyndolyns place, and tie the Dark souls universe (ponified of course) into sort of a MLP prequal. Well, I can dream...
293258
(If people actually prefer the 'silent' god then there's always edits to be made)
Well, his speaking role somewhat fills the void of the over-confident arrogant king. Somewhat of a cliche but take it or leave it.
Also, I've seen past Dark Souls crossovers floating about fimfiction. One of which I remember had to do with the events of Lordran taking place in Equestria.
You have my interest - tracking.
Few mistakes here and there, nothing derailing. Except for the common "it's" mistake - remember that "it's" means "it is"; to refer to something that belongs to "it", you spell it as "its."
Example:
"...the monster would deal it's death blow upon..."
Should be:
"...the monster would deal its death blow upon..."
294133
Yea that is an on-going problem I have when writing. I don't even think about the it's/it formula when writing it down.
Yes
Just asking, but do you have a grasp upon the story of Dark Souls or will that not have relevance in this story? If it does, and you don't completely understand the story you should check out epicnamebro's Lore series (youtube) on Dark Souls. Great character interaction, and everyone is perfectly in character, I'm looking foward to the next chapter.
304531
I'm an avid player, but I do occupy most of my time in pvp (it's fantastic)
I HAVE brushed up on my lore a bit, but not excessively to where I won't slip up every now and then.
Thing is with epicnamebro's videos, they are all speculation. Everything is received from item info, which is extremely vague. I am going to reflect off of this information highly, but some aspects/rumors are to be left behind.
Still pretty good! I know Solaire doesn't talk much during this chapter, but I'd say just remember to have him keep his "medieval" style of speech and thought. It makes him much more believable and fun to read.
Keep writing!
304699
I've read up on his dialogue though. At no point did he use common 'old English' words like thou and thy.
http://darksouls.wikidot.com/solaire-of-astora
^
scroll down to the link that says "show dialogue" and open that up.
(I'll keep that in mind though
)
304724
Oh, alright then. Must have imagined it. I guess he just struck me as sort of an odd duck, and I made that connection with "Ye Olde English" in my head.
Carry on, good sir!
Intriguing... I'm really getting into this. Continue!
I wonder how the whole "warrior of the sun" speech is going to go down
WHERE IS AN UPDATE?!
I AM DYING TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS!
336562
Hehe, sorry man. Real life has been real busy for me lately + I'm having a bit of writer's block in my current situation.
Fear not, an update WILL be coming eventually.
Right.... I've been out of the game for a bit. Feel free to point out any continuity errors or general flaws at this point if you may
it, updated...
i1160.photobucket.com/albums/q485/Tyler_Elwood/Reaction%20Images/2012-03-22_022058.png
Awesome! Can't wait until Solaire meets Celestia.
You still have the problem of incorrectly using "your" and "you're", as well as "it's" and "its." Also, when someone talks, you should keep their whole dialogue to a single paragraph. If, however, they have a lot to say and you want to separate their speech into paragraphs, you still have to use quotation marks to begin the next paragraph of speech (though, in doing this, you don't have to use closing quotation marks to end the previous paragraph's dialogue). Example:
"In the beginning there were two regal sisters who ruled together and created harmony for all the land. She has been around longer than anypony could remember. At one point, a conflict arose between Celestia and her sister, Luna. A terrible fight and surge of evil from her sister had forced herself to banish Luna from Equestria up until recently...
She is unlike anypony alive. While there are Earth ponies, Pegasi, and Unicorns (like me), Princess Celestia bears the power of all three of our races. She does not only hold power because she has always been royalty, but because she is essentially the strongest being in Equestria."
^Should have a starting quotation on the beginning of the second paragraph. You don't have to put a closing quotation mark at the end of the first paragraph though, as that indicates the speaker is continuing onto the next paragraph.
You have amazing writing, but fix these and it would be perfect.
This is amazing. Please continue.
It's been so long since I've played Dark Souls, but hearing Solaire talk about his homeland makes me sad and scared all over again. It's also cool to hear him mention the chosen undead, because hey... that was me!
There were some grammar mistakes, but none that I can point out that weren't already mentioned by someone else. Keep writing, I love this crossover!
By the Sun?! An update?! Does anyone still follow my junk anymore?
Let me just say, if your still following this story amazingly, the plot is going to roll into action: and a certain covenant will be rearing it's ugly head.
This story was in fact the reason I went and bought the game, you bet i am still following this amazing piece.
A certain covenant?! I suspect the Darkmoons!
An epic duel between Solaire and a spirit of vengeance would be awesome.
You should check this out:
http://darksoulswiki.wikispaces.com/Lore
If you're looking to incorporate some of the deeper lore of Dark Souls. Lots of interesting stuff in it, most of it from item descriptions and character backgrounds.
SUNBROS UNITE!
EDIT: Damn, it ended just as it was getting good!
FOR HE WILL PURSUE HIS SUN BUT ALAS THE SUN IS NO LONGER HIS
ima track like mo-fucka!
The sun be praised! Cheer my brothers and sisters, for an update has graced us!!!
Yyeassss
The second I read the chapter title, I thought, "Oh! I hope he joins the Princess Guard covenant!" =P It's so sad that in the game [SPOILERS], the Princess is an illusion, but now that he's met Celestia, perhaps he can have a liege lord worthy of him.
Nice work, I really enjoy reading these. Keep it up!
Bonus points for whoever can name who the mystery pony was.
477886
Thunderlane?
Also, a red phantom. I suspect the Darkwraiths@
Another glorious chapter, devoid of any glaring grammatical errors and ushering forth an interesting plot twist. It is my sincere hope that with the appearance of a phantom, we might also be treated to a bout of Jolly Co-operation in the future.
Oh, crap, it's a black phantom!
To arms, Solaire! Your talents are needed to protect yourself and the sun you hold dear!
But last I recalled, I thought Black Phantoms couldn't do anything to the denizens of the invadee's world, only harm the host of the world him/herself.
477930
Consider the importance of his mission over the daily reaping of Lordran. The alteration of custom would be inevitable, for he wasn't sent here without reason.
(...and it makes for a good plot device.)
EDIT: The more I think about it, the more I can work with it... Hmm, consider revisions soon if not later.
OHHHH SHIT
SHIT JUST GOT REAL
FUCK
WHY DO I HAVE THE WORST FEELING THAT THIS DARKWRAITH IS KIRK?
IS IT KIRK?
FUCK YOU KIRK.
...wait, am I allowed to swear here? I hope i am.
479503
FUCK YEAH YOU FUCKING ARE BITCH!
480682
FUCK YEAH
Wait... DID YOU FUCKING CALL ME A BITCH?!
D:
482714
FUCK YEAH!
483380>>482714
NO FUCKING SWEARING IN MY FUCKING STORY!
483835
FUCKING HYPOCRITE.
483835
483864
FUCK YOU I I CAN CURSE IN YOUR FUCKING AWESOME STORY! SO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND FUCKING WRITE
More please
By the Sun! It's a darkwraith!
Quick, Solaire, summon some help! Leeroy, Tarkus, the Chosen Undead, anyone!
""Do I still stand foot upon Lordran? Have I reached the sanctity of Heaven?""
It's sort of like Heaven.
s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltfotugPin1r2r7jpo1_1280.png
I haven't read your story just yet but when i seen it i needed to post this picture!
Shit just got real, son.
I love Dark Souls and it's good to see a cross-over fanfic of it.
I can't wait for more. And at least it wasn't Gwyn that invaded!
I honestly thought it was going to be a Black Knight.
Anyway, more please!
I have not played Dark Souls but I just ordered it and am waiting for it to come in. I love that game (eventhough I have not played it) and I love this fic so far. My question though is that why does Gwyn seem so evil here? From what I have seen of the game he simply went mad from having to burn in the kiln of the first flame...... Though now that I think about it he may have only been keeping the flame up to preserve the power of the gods that would be lost if the age of Dark came.
Regardless, love the story. Instand fav and watch. ^^
I'm suprised there is a sudden influx of viewers after even after I haven't updated it in a good while. Perhaps we can see another chapter tomorrow?
622503 Basically it's a story choice by myself. Gwyn is an enigma throughout the game and there is little to work with in terms of character. However, he did force Gwyndolin to be as a daughter because of his ties w/ the moon and that he isn't mad in the fact that he has assembled this uncountable mass of demons and soldiers in a seizure of ultimate power. I think your portraying him as more than an evil scumbag
623447
Well yeah, he did do some douchy things. Anyways. I smell Kaathe having his dirty teeth in this if the Darkwraiths are there. This will not end well.
Boy am I weak at this whole storytelling kinda thing.
Alittle underwhelming of a chapter you all have patiently been waiting for, but thankfully I haven't written myself into a wall yet and when your someone like me who is as imaginative as a brick, it's better than nothing I would suppose.