Page generated in 0.149 seconds
Total duration
758 users online
1,150,125 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Some reason I am wanting U.S. or Russian Submarine to surface near the docks when he is working. . . then he can show the ponies that they aren't pushovers and they have weapons far beyond theirs.
He should join Raul's gang
This story seems interesting. Will the next chapter come soon?
4378896 yes, work has been kicking my flank allot so im getting the next chap edited as fast as i can
I like it. Just don't rush the relationships it ruins the story if it feels like we blink and then he's in a herd or something. But from what I've seen this story holds a lot of promise.
4384890
Ok....wow the next chapter has taken a long time to write, I hope it's good.
5286771
im still alive i swear, between comp issues and working 60 hours a week. time to myself is a rarity. i promise that neither of my stories are dead, pleeeeeease be patient with me (hangs head low with a sigh)
5286790
Oh thank god. That is fantastic to hear. I like what you did there with rarity.
5286811
(giggles) unintentional but quite clever if i do say so myself darling! lol
5286836
I just burst out laughing so hard I just fell on my butt. My neighbors are going to kill me.
Something different finally! Now this is more like it, let's just keep it like this and not let him start loving Equestria alright? Especially when they haven't given him any logical reason to do so.
Again, I liked this chapter yet I needs checking. If you live with someone who can have a read over it or indeed a Brony friend then give it to them.
One other point, when Niko is in the shop and Gilda smells the blood on him (I liked her inclusion BTW as not enough stories have her in them, also the fact they have a keen sense of smell was a nice touch. Do gryphons have heightened senses all around? Something to think about) I felt it would have been better to have that section as a 'show, don't tell'. Maybe Niko just lifts his arm and Gilda examines the wound herself. It would stick to the tough guy routine but still show a level of submission.
This is all constructive feedback, however, do with it as you please. Can't wait for the next chapter.
Looks quite good.
4006235
Yep. Humanity number 1 people.