Let Her Eat Cake

by Twinkletail

Chapter 1

Applejack held her giggles back as she hid within the monstrous cake she'd prepared for Pinkie Pie. She had spent a good few weeks trying to come up with the perfect gift for her special somepony. She had always thought Pinkie to be the best gift-giver in all of Ponyville, but when Pinkie herself had bestowed her with that title, the pressure was on to continue the trend of apparently-good presents. Pinkie always said that the best gifts didn't have to be bought, and that being with Applejack was "the bestest, most super-amazing gift she could ever ask for." After some consideration, she finally came up with the perfect gift; it wasn't bought, and it involved them being together. She was personally shocked that she didn't think of it earlier.

Applejack called out a "thank you" to Big Macintosh, who'd agreed to push the cake to Sugarcube Corner since she clearly couldn't. She'd carefully planned this out so that she arrived at Pinkie's two hours before the party began, giving Pinkie plenty of time to enjoy her present. She listened for Big Mac's knock, making sure to quiet down. Pinkie needed to be left in the dark about the true nature of her present until the moment of revelation; she loved surprises, and this was sure to be a nice surprise.

Applejack listened quietly from her delicious hiding place as Pinkie greeted Big Macintosh. The conversation between the two was brief, and unsurprisingly dominated by Pinkie. She heard Big Mac manage to squeeze in a happy birthday and tell her that the cake was a present from Applejack. She smiled warmly as she heard Pinkie bubble over how wonderful AJ was. Pinkie then thanked Big Mac, and Applejack felt the cart she was on begin to move once again. She grinned as Pinkie went on and on about how tasty the cake looked. Everything was coming together rather well so far.

She then heard Pinkie ask Big Mac why he was delivering the cake and not Applejack. Her brother was not as terrible a liar as she was, but this still caused Applejack to worry. She hadn't factored in the possibility that Pinkie would question such a thing; she figured she would just accept the cake without issue. She breathed a quiet sigh of relief when she heard Big Mac say that she was in the shower and would be arriving later. He was a good one, that Big Mac. There were a few moments of silence, and Applejack assumed Pinkie was giving Big Mac the same "I don't believe you" treatment that she'd gotten that one year when she and the others were keeping Pinkie's surprise party a secret. After a few uncomfortable moments, she heard a cheery "okie dokie lokie" and relaxed. Big Mac then gave Pinkie the last bit of instruction he was given, telling Pinkie that she had to read the note that came with the cake as soon as she got it into the living room, and then he was on his way.

Applejack felt the cart begin to roll once more. It was nearly time for Pinkie's big surprise. She smiled to herself, very proud of the entire plan she'd orchestrated. It wasn't very often that one was able to get one over on Pinkie Pie. She had this unnatural knack for predicting just about any possible situation, even unrelated to her Pinkie Sense. And yet here she was, her entire plan coming together perfectly, her marefriend completely unsuspecting of what awaited her inside this confection. The thought of it made her want to giggle happily, but to do so would compromise her position. At this point in her plan. It would be crazy to compromise the plan. Not when it was going this well.

Applejack felt the cart stop. She listened silently as Pinkie found the card she'd left on the cake and began to read it out loud.

"Dear Pinkie," Pinkie read. "Happy birthday! Make sure to cut yourself a piece immediately after reading this note! Gotta have it nice and fresh! I've even provided a knife! Love forever, your Candy Apple." Pinkie giggled happily. "Awwww, how sweet! She didn't even want me to dirty a knife! I have the bestest special somepony ever!"

Applejack beamed within her holding place. She started to uncurl, getting ready to spring. As soon as the plastic knife pierced the side of the cake, she would give Pinkie the biggest surprise of the day, followed by a whole lot of other surprise fun until the party was ready to begin. The apple farmer could hardly wait as she listened to Pinkie begin singing a spontaneous song about how wonderful Applejack was. Pinkie really was a sweetheart, and well-deserving of the special surprise she had in store for her. Applejack didn't even complain when Pinkie's song went a bit too long, even though her back was aching a bit from being stuck in the cake in this awkward position for so long. It was nice to hear so many kind, complimentary words about her in such an impeccable rhyming scheme, after all.

Pinkie's song eventually ended, and Applejack watched the plastic knife pierce the side of the cake. She sprang into action, getting up and bursting out of the top of the cake.

Pinkie watched as the cake suddenly erupted. Applejack burst out of it, causing her to stumble back a bit. AJ's mane was down, and she made sure to have her makeup perfectly done, as evident by the blush on her cheeks and the green eye shadow, complemented by mascara-colored eyelashes. One single dollop of whipped cream rested on the tip of her nose. Her lips looked extra thick and pouty thanks to the red lipstick she'd put on, and the entire package was completed by a very saucy set of lingerie that she had specially chosen for the occasion. Applejack grinned and gave Pinkie the most seductive smile she could, lowering her eyelids.

"Happy birthday, sweet stuff," AJ said, her voice breathy and deep. She leaned out of the cake, wrapping her front legs behind Pinkie's neck. "Ready to eat your cake?"

Rainbow Dash let out a loud wolf-whistle.

Applejack fell silent, all the color draining from her face. She blinked, pulling her attention away from Pinkie for the first time. A slow look around the room revealed the faces of her friends. Twilight, Rarity, and Spike were blushing heavily. Fluttershy had averted her eyes, whereas Rainbow couldn't peel her eyes away. Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo sat in the corner, stunned, and the Cakes were covering the twins' eyes. Applejack turned back to Pinkie, starting to sweat.

"...I thought the party wasn't starting for another two hours?" Applejack asked, beginning to tremble.

"I decided to start it early!" Pinkie said, beaming. She gave Applejack a smooch on the lips, then licked the whipped cream off of the mortified mare's nose. "And I'll make sure to take you up on that offer after everypony leaves~!"

"R-right..." Applejack said weakly.

"Now c'mon! Let's enjoy the party!" Pinkie said cheerfully. Applejack, not knowing what else to do, stepped out of the cake. She took another embarrassed look around the room.

"Do you think we could get cake-bursting-out-of cutie marks?" Apple Bloom asked her friends.

Applejack decided to excuse herself.

Comments

[Keradon]

A sample of my reactions to this story, in order of appearance:

O_O >_<

[PyrodianBrony]

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

This was absolutely perfect! Your other stories look interesting, I think I'll read them!

[JetstreamGW]

You takes the risks, AJ.

[Esle Ynopemos]

This makes me smile.

[The Ponytrician]

*Starts reading...*

Wait, AJ is hiding in the cake?

*Recalls Pinkie taste-testing cakes for Celestia in Swarm of the Century, and the closing scene in Mmmystery on the Friendship Express*

... this can only end badly.

*continues reading*

Well, that went better than expected. Have an upvote!

[Dash The Stampede]

The comedy is strong with this one! All the laughs! First my comedy T-T-T-Tia! and now this! I think i'm gonna need new ribs after this week.

Upvoted indeed.

[EquesTRON]

themcp.webs.com/ExcellentChaos.png
Discord is amused.

(Ah'm glad y'all find mah total embarrassment so dang amusin'.)

[punzil504]

I'm picturing the scene in "Under Seige" where the girl pops out of the cake oblivious at first to the fact that only the cook is there to watch her dance.... kind of works in reverse when your baby sister's one of the viewers. Would have been doubly fun if Pinkie Pie's family were there...

[Zeyon The Green]

Well, I would think that she should have told someone in case this happened: confide in somepony (Dash), Get the lingerie and makeup lessons from somepony (Rarity), learn how to build the contraption (Twilight), or inform the cakes of a surprise. Oh well only has herself to blame.

[DigitalChaos]

When I got the surprise I literally went "BLOODY HELL!" out loud.

[TheTwelfthDoctor]

This story has been added to the Good Grammar Directory. Congratulations!

[Random_User]

I have not laughed so hard in a long time. Thank you!

[Mr 0]

I actually thought pinkie was gonna eat the cake whole like usual.

[DigitalChaos]

Now that they're related I feel creepy for having liked this story

[Twinkletail]

3772684

Maybe related! It's an important distinction

[DigitalChaos]

3773037 Since they're (probably) not related, it'll be okaaaaaayy

[deletingthisaccount]

3773647 So distantly related that it really is more about friendship than blood.
3773037 The end made me laugh out loud.

[Ekglag2]

Should AJ be disappointed that her marefriend told everyone but her that the party was starting 2 hours early? Lol!

[Diamond Sparkle]

Poor embarrassed Applejack.