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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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more please
rough?
used
trial
trial
made
Heart's
remove ‘‘your’’
‘‘came to life’’
a while
Either ‘‘to lightly glow’’ or ‘‘to glow softly’’
‘‘feel like he is worth something’’
Remove either the part prior of after the comma.
Double negative
‘‘get her farm back’’
If that was just an ‘‘it’’, it would feel less repetitive.
Remove either ‘‘you’’ or ‘‘King Matthew’’.
repeating
Is there no transition to indicate the trial began to make Matthew act in the moment, rather than prepared?
What mountain?
Either ‘‘too powerful for’’ or ‘‘more powerful than’’.
an
missing comma
Remove the apostrophe.
You mean the table that has not been mentioned before?
‘‘In order for’’
Mentioning it twice.
Either ‘‘awakened’’ or ‘‘beginning to truly awaken’’.
Not going to mention who said that?
forward
The comma there should be a period.
Why did he need her to do it?
Do I sense a ship?
That’s interesting.
Wow, that’s f*cked up.