• Member Since 9th Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen February 7th

SHL


Brony. Nerd. Hentai. King.

T

After a long time, Princess Celestia of Equestria is finally prepared to confess her love to Twilight Sparkle. But, the day she chooses to do it, she discovers something unexpected that leave her in pain. How will the Princess of the Sun reacts? What will she do?

Inspired by Parchment and Port, by Anonymoose.

This is my first fic. And I thank to prereaders and proofreaders. Seriously, I'm very grateful for your help! ^^
Prereaders: Anonymoose, Luminary, Tchernobog, Steel Resolve and Rocinante.
Proofreader: I HV NO FEAR

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 59 )
SHL

3369359
Thanks! Your comment means a lot to me! :pinkiehappy:

Congrats on getting your first fic out, good read!

Aww man! C'mon! That's sad. I very much enjoy this. Maybe I'll favorite it later on to keep it bookmarked.

SHL

3369653>>3400625
Yeah, it's sad. Because Celestia have a big potential for sad stories.
Anyway, I'm happy that you enjoy it :pinkiehappy:

3401189 I think if Celestia retired she would had had enough of "life" she would move to the wilderness and become anti-social. How often does she cry herself to sleep? Or worse, is unable to cry in any way and has to bottle everything up?

SHL

3401323
Celestia wouldn't go anywhere. First of all, she is a ruler that take care of her little ponies. Her personal feelings are here, but they're not the most important thing. That's because she is a tragic figure.

3401330 Princess Twilight can't do it? I see Celestia as the girl who dreamed of being Princess but when the dream came true she never seriously wanted it. She did it because there was no-one else who could, and she's been looking for an opportunity to retire since her first day. Maybe she needs something/someone to show her she's only here because she chooses to be? She is unbelievably tragic.

SHL

3401350
I don't think so. Celestia will be always there and she will protect Equestria and her little ponies forever. Even if she have to sacrifice herself.

3401357 I can dream. She is a good Princess, but maybe she's been selfless for too long.
The Didactic in Halo said "The are no unstoppable forces. They are no immovable objects. Everything gives if you push hard enough." His wife responded with "Maybe that's exactly the case. Maybe WE'VE been immovable and unstoppable for too long and it's our turn to give." I think it's time Celestia gets something just for her, just because she wants it. Doesn't have to be retirement but what do you think?

SHL

3401379
I think that others had explored that in their fics. Me? I don't think that I gonna do it.

A wonderful (albeit sad) read. :pinkiehappy:

SHL

3412217
I'm happy that you enjoy it :pinkiehappy:

This is such a good chapter! PLEEASSSE WRITE MORE ASAP!! :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::heart:

SHL

3414751
This is a oneshot. But I'm working in another fics, don't worry :pinkiehappy:

YAYAYY! I can't wait for more exciting fan fics of yours squeee :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy: But I don't know whether I can wait...:fluttercry::flutterrage::fluttershbad::fluttershyouch::fluttershysad::heart::heart::heart:

dear SHL could you add more chapters to this ficplease I loved this fic and thought hey this story is good but awsome at the same time do please write more

SHL

3427846
Sorry, but I won't write more chapters of this story. This is a One-shot only.

oh that's sad but I guess it's alright hey could you give me some advice I just signed up and started writing my first story so if you could help me and stuff like that that would be awesome

SHL

3432441
Sorry, I'm not the right person to guide anypony yet for variopus reasons (one of them, English isn't my first language). But I can ell you where you can go:
author help (a group made to help new and old authors with fic's)

There you'll find help :pinkiehappy:

oh thank you SHL that's awsome and it's okay you can't help me I don't mind

I don't like Celestia but still... poor thing... I guess the moral of the story is that if you really like someone you should do something about it rather than just wait around like fool and watch someone else going for it.

Comment posted by Duragan deleted Nov 6th, 2013

This whole fan fic was wonderfully written and heartbreaking. It reminded me of this fan fic; My Dearest Twilight Sparkle This could be like the prologue leading up to it. =p

SHL

3452822
It's inspired by that fic, Anonymoose know that ^^ But isn't a prequel or prologue, this fic is apart of that :pinkiehappy:
3452300
Yeah, that is a part of the moral of the story. The other is that if you really love somebody but you can't be together, make wahat you can to see she/he happy.

3455015
Well, that's also a fair point. Then again I guess you don't really "love" someone if you can't do what will make them the happiest, like say... giving them to someone else maybe?

3452822>>3455015

:ajbemused: Seriously? Ah say buck that guy.

Anonymoose also helped proofread a bit before his wife got pregnant and he had to be a douche and stop helping out.



Also, SHL, I am loving to see you are getting requests for sequels... why does that seem so familiar? :rainbowlaugh:

SHL

3458218
Yeah XDDD I know that feel XDD
3458086
More like, if you see that he/she loves somebody, help his/her.

3459200
Then you don't understand the concept of your own story ;)

SHL

3468959
Or I can't explain correctly in English.

This is good stuff.
One hoof up.

If Celestia moves on then everything will be OK.
If she does not things could get worse.
Maybe she needs to tell Luna. Maybe.

Found some errors.
Apologies if this is offensive.
--------------------------------------------------------------
No, it was a very gentle warm that filled her heart.

warmth
--------------------------------------
She sought company in Twilight, and often had no excuse.

Awkward

--------------------------------------------
(she dismissed them to her quarters at the moment she saw them)

Awkward, not sure what you meant here.

----------------------------------------------
There was a crystal stuck and she was bleeding.

Awkward.
Maybe this would be better?
A shard of glass was stuck in her hoof and she was bleeding.

----------------------------------------------------------------------
After Celestia dressed her wound with a simple healing spell, she went to her bed, mentally exhausted, to collapse bonelessly upon it.

Would it be better if she just healed her wound?

-----------------------------------------------------------------
The following day, Celestia could barely raise the sun, without waking up from the bed.

Awkward
Does she raise the sun from her bed?

--------------------------------------------------------------
Luna had returned 4 years ago and still had trouble coming to grips with her new life, without Celestia condemning her for finally working up the courage to seek companionship.

four
Not supposed to use numbers except for certain situations.

------------------------------------------------------------------
Celestia moved her breakfast aside and looked her sister in the eyes, keeping her expression carefully neutral and her corporal reactions under control.

corporal
Are you sure you want to use this word?

---------------------------------------------------------
“I... I really love her…” The younger alicorn lowered her head and shrinked.

shrinked?
Are you sure you want to use that word?
-------------------------------------------------------------------

SHL

3607720
It isn't offensive, relax. English isn't my first language, that's why I had some proofreaders working in the story.

Do you need help finding other issues?

SHL

3611926
No, thanks :pinkiehappy:

SHL

3934850
Eeyup. But she does what it's best for the two ponies she loves.

Ouch, right in the feels... :fluttershbad:
They could possibly... share? :twilightoops:

SHL

3995928
If this was a clopfic, maybe. But it isn't. Here, Celestia do what is best for the two ponies she love more.
Step aside.

I'm glad that you liked :pinkiehappy:

3996661
What is is about Twilight that everypony falls in love with her, lol?
She's, like, the most clueless pony when it comes to romance...

SHL

3996889
Agreed XD

3996889 maybe thats what they like about her. "shrugs":scootangel:

It was all good, but fairly cliche up until the end. Luna's confession made this.

SHL

4073245 Well, at least some clichés could be still good :pinkiehappy:

And then Celestia's suppressed emotions started giving her nightmares, and the ever-helpful Luna steps in to give her sister a helping hoof...

SHL

5551395 Maybe yes, maybe not ^^ Thanks for your comment ^^

I know it was very painful for celestia to step aside, but just to have those closest to her, those that mean the most to her, is the most important thing. I know they mean the world to her heart. I know that time will mend her broken heart, and she will be glad just to have them with her. they mean that much to her.

SHL

5751783 Glad that you liked!

5752107
So t-tr-ruue.… :raritycry::raritydespair::applecry::fluttercry:
How could you do that to Celestia-a?!!!:flutterrage::twilightangry2:
I shall now officially go insane. But only because everyone around me is already convinced of it..:pinkiecrazy:

SHL

6072669 Celestia is a tragic figure, that's why I did that ^^

Well, and also 'cause I'm a bit evil XD

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