Before The Magic

by picklejuice

Tons Of Fun

Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria, a light brown earth pony mare with a red scarf was galloping at night. She wore grey saddle bags, brimming with dark books. Her dark amber mane whipped in the wind, and her red eyes stung at the passing wind. My eyes.

I, Princess Celestia, hereby decree that the unicorn Twilight Sparkle shall take on a new mission for Equestria.

It was all my fault, and I knew it. I had a chance to set it right. Several chances. I knew the consequences but I didn’t care. All that mattered was my precious obsession. The stars promised so much. I wanted it so bad. I ignored the warning signs.

She must continue to study the magic of friendship.

But none of that mattered now. The longest night of the thousandth year was lasting longer than possible. The old "My Little Pony" books I'd read weren't just fiction. Night was ruling Equestria now. It MUST be Nightmare Moon! And I'm the one who ruined Equestria’s last chance at stopping her!

She must report to me her findings…

“I thought they were just stories! I was WRONG!” Remembering first finding those dusty old books with faded drawings of the mane 6, I gasped and shouted at the night sky, my hooves beating a desperate rhythm to my speech. “I’m SORRY!” Branch, pothole, bush. “I wanted to STAY! Is that so bad?!” The merciless darkness was my only answer.

…From her new home…

I thought it was a dream. I thought my wishes were suddenly granted by an evil genie. I thought things with the ponies would work themselves out. Now the echoes of my memory, recanting the final words of Celestia at the end of the first book, were all I could think of. I desperately held onto them.

…in Ponyville.

Because I was the only pony who would ever remember those words. I was the only pony who knew how this night COULD have turned out, were I never to have moved to Ponyville. My presence set in motion a chain of events that brought disharmony to all Equestria.

Everypony cheered.

Yes. In my memory of the story, everypony cheered, but me:

Paige Turner, the previous Librarian of Ponyville.

---

(Opening credits without Twilight Sparkle or Spike, instead featuring the light brown mare Paige with her red scarf, initially sitting on a cloud, relaxing and serene)

My Little Pony, My Little Pony
(Ah Ah Ah Ah... My Little Pony!)

(When the music picks up, Paige falls through the cloud wordlessly crying out. She falls down a rainbow landing with surprise in Ponyville. She looks lost and confused.)

I used to wonder what friendship could be
(My Little Pony!)
Until you all shared its magic with me:

Big Adventure,

(Rainbow dash sleeping in a cloud)

Tons of Fun,

(Pinkimenia Pie shouting angrily at a colt whose smile turns to tears)

A beautiful Heart,

(Rarity turning her nose up at an old pony begging for bits)

Faithful and strong,

(Applejack shouting, pointing at a fake timberwolf, and has that "just got caught lying" look on her face)

Sharing Kindness,
(It's an easy feat!)

(Fluttershy closing a door angrily and hiding behind it)

And something makes it all complete,

(Paige blinking, bewildered, and sparks flashing weakly around her head. The Mane 5 are gathered around her, indifferent or angry as appropriate. A book labeled “MLP” sits in front of Paige. The sparks fall on the book.)

You have: My Little Pony!

(The book bursts into flames and disappears. Paige is shocked. The smoke from the book wafts to Canterlot and Celestia, where it reforms into the MLP book, and the princess seems surprised by the book’s appearance.)

Do you know you're all ponies I sorta know?

(Inside the book is a photo of Paige trying to run panicked away from the other angry mane 5)

---

BEFORE THE MAGIC

Chapter 1: Tons of Fun

I couldn't wait. "Are we there yet?" My dad, Phrase Turner, shook his mane. For the hundredth time, I looked out the side of the coach and bit my hoof. It was a nasty habit, but I just couldn't help it any more. "Let's switch!" I said brightly.

"Fair enough." I got out and changed places with dad. Like the rest of the Turner family, we shared the same light brown coat and dark amber mane, with hour glass cutie marks. His for the quick turns of phrase he used, and mine for speed reading. I wore a red scarf to could stand out. "But you need running like a puppy needs fleas. I've taken three naps and read your four books already, honey. I'm supposed to be helping you move, but I can't do that if I'm sitting in the catbird seat the whole time."

"I know." I'd brought four books that didn't completely numb my mind whenever I read them. Doctor Hooves and the Pepperpots, The Princess Bridle, and Waiting to Whicker, Die Unendliche Gesichte, and a Germane - to - Equestrian dictionary.

"When did uncle Time say he'd be done with his current tour and back here?"

"He didn't say. Last letter, he mentioned he'd finished a crate of hourglasses and was determined to sell every last one before he returned." It was weird. He's one of the big reasons I wanted to go to Ponyville. It was like having a real world connection to the series. Imagine - a pony named Time Turner living there. It was straight out of the books! And I'm related to him!

After getting into the harness, I pictured again the libraries I'd already left, and set my jaw. Even if it wasn't Twilight's library, it was A NEW library was just ahead. "To … ADVENTURE!"

Dad chuckled at my renewed enthusiasm.

The cart was heavy, but wasn't too overladen. It's not like I was bringing my own library. The cart's weight gave me a good workout, and got my blood moving so I could think: think about the new books I was going to find in Ponyville! THE Ponyville!

I had hopes for it. In addition to fueling my My Little Pony fantasies, the other libraries I'd worked at were too metropolitan, too restrictive. Here, I was going to be the actual head librarian! No more signing forms and authorizations. Just read, read, read.

Then, suddenly, cresting a giant hill of doom, there it was! I whinnied with excitement. "Look! We're almost there!"

"I got eyes, Paige." Down below were the thatched-roof buildings and quaint businesses. The Old Ponies Home, the Hospital, a pink spiral tower, and town hall! I mentally mapped out my route from the top of the hill, and took the switchback route instead of the steep slide-like road into town.

The back of my mind itched. Of course it looked a lot like the illustrations in the books, but… something disturbed me about that first view of the town. I shook my mane as we descended carefully down the switchback path.

As we entered town, it opened up to us, bright and cheery.

"Hi!" Said a blue pony. "Welcome to Ponyville!"

I said, "Hi, thanks!" Everypony seemed happy and busy going to and fro.

Seeing it up close, Sugarcube Corner was almost beyond exactly right. I was tempted to stop and order something, as the aroma triggered the waterworks in my mouth. Mmm! That smelled good.

But then I heard a shrill scream from within the pastry place: "NO! WE'RE ALL OUTTA BEAR CLAWS!"

I laughed and stopped the cart. Could it be?

There was a commotion inside, and two ponies that looked like the Cakes - Carrot, and Cup - manhandled a pink pony out the door. "That's IT Pinkie. You're THROUGH!" The stallion said, putting his hooves on his hips. The wife looked equally mad.

The pink pony, her ears downcast, slowly turned around... and saw me. She instantly brightened up. "Oh hello! Welcome to Ponyville!"

I was stunned. It wasn't just a pony that LOOKED like Pinkie Pie. It looked EXACTLY like her!

"I'm Pinkie Pie! I haven't seen you before and that means you're new and since you're new, it's my job as town greeter -" She glared behind herself and muttered "(My ONLY job now!)" She then spun back around, cheerful as a summer's day "- To welcome you! Welcome to Ponyville!" She giggled and went on for a minute, telling me of the town I already knew. I was enraptured. This was obviously part of some sort of play for new ponies' benefit. I was starting to think whole town was a bit of a tourist trap for My Little Pony fans, but I couldn't think of it as a trashy "trap" anymore - this was a full-on immersive MLP experience!

Somehow, eventually, "Pinkie" ran out of things to say. She smiled at me and said brightly, "So, what do you think?"

I burst out laughing, rearing and prancing my hooves. I'd have been rolling on the floor if I wasn't hooked up to the cart. It was just so perfect, Pinkie being Pinkie, I couldn't help myself.

But the joy was cut short.

"HEY! QUIT LAUGHING AT ME!" Pinkie screamed in the same shrill voice she'd used earlier. I hadn't noticed it, but ever since I started laughing, Pinkie's face had grown more and more dire. "That's everything Mayor Mare MAKES me say to EVERYPONY coming to town!" She suddenly closed her eyes, grit her teeth, and smacked herself in the head.

Stunned, I noticed that the townsponies weren't impressed or surprised at this little outburst.

A forced smile on her face, Pinkie said, "I'm sorry. Welcome to Ponyville. We'll be having a reception in town hall for you tomorrow to properly welcome you and give everpony in town a chance to meet you… " She handed an invitation to me curtly, clearly still sore about being "laughed at."

Dad and I exchanged looks as she stomped off out of earshot. "Happy as a clam, that one." He commented dryly.

Until the screaming, I thought it was DEAD ON how Pinkie's voice would be, and I could almost see the run-on sentences as they poured out of her. It was an absolute joy to see such an exact depiction of someone from the My Little pony stories, and such a shock to see her go "Pinkimenia" on her in the very first meeting.

"It's almost like she got hit by Discord…" I said, confused.

"Penny for your thoughts." Phrase said casually as we resumed our trek to the library.

"Well, I told you about the My Little Pony books, right dad?"

"Mm hmm."

"Well, this… is Ponyville."

"How do you mean?"

"I mean, as far as I can tell, THIS is the town the stories were based on."

"Really?"

"Yes. I looked at some real-world maps once and compared them to the ones in the books, and they match up pretty accurately. The author must have lived here when he wrote them 300 years ago…"

"Okay. So what's the sitch?"

"That… was Pinkie Pie, the element of Laughter."

Phrase looked back and forth from me to where we'd last seen the pink pony stomp off in a huff. "THAT sourpuss?"

"I know! I mean… it LOOKS LIKE this place is My Little Pony Central - some sort of tourist trap for fans of the series. I thought it was obscure. You remember how much time I spent tracking each book down! But I guess it's not obscure locally, if they have everything looking just like it came alive from the books. And they even have a Pinkie Pie greeter… although THAT one seems to have been having a bad day or something."

"Tell me about it!" He chuckled.

A passing steel blue stallion said in a deep voice, "Sorry to overhear your conversation, but that's just Pinkie being Pinkie…"

The stallion continued on his way as we continued on ours. I said over my shoulder, "I never imagined hearing THAT phrase with so much depression dripping off it! Jeez, poor girl. She'll probably get fired soon from being town greeter with THAT attitude. No matter HOW much she looks like Pinkie!"

We continued to the library, and the itch at the back of my skull burned a little harder, demanding a scratch I didn't know how to start.

---

Pinkie kept stomping everywhere she went.

"The NERVE of that pony, just LAUGHING at me! I didn't make a single joke and - boom! Laughter! At ME!! I didn't do anything funny. I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING FUNNY!"

Shaking her head and her eyes closed in anger, she didn't see Snips until she ran into him.

"HEY! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING!" She screamed at the stunned colt, then stomped away.

Several ponies just shook their heads or averted their gaze as the furious Pinkimenia stomped by. Just then, Mayor Mare came out of the town hall and saw the state the pink pony was in.

"Pinkie…"

"I don't want to hear it mayor. She LAUGHED at me!"

"Pinkie!"

"And I didn't SAY anything FUNNY! I just told her about the reception and the city and - and - and ---"

"PINKIE!!!"

Pinkie blinked, and sat down. "You have STORMED your way out of EVERY SINGLE JOB in Ponyville, shouting at everypony who looked at you wrong. I'm sorry, but if you can't even properly GREET ponies as they come to live here in Ponyville, I don't know what we can DO with you!"

Wilted, Pinkie looked at the ground. "I'm sorry, Mayor Mare."

The mayor sighed. "No, you're not. And that's the sad part."

Tears started forming in Pinkie's eyes. "I… I just don't know what to DO. When people laugh at me - I - I - I just…"

The mayor lifted Pinkie's face up to look her in the eyes. "I'm giving you one more chance, Pinkie. This reception is it. We're going to give this new pony… Paige is her name? We're going to give her final say."

"About?"

"About you being town greeter. If you mess this up, we have to draw the line. Ponyville can't stand another economic roadblock, and if your attitude makes one more pony up and leave, I can’t help you."

Pinkie set her face hard and nodded. "I won't let you down, Mayor Mare."

But Pinkie wasn't so sure she could keep that promise.

---

We got to the Library. It was a standard tree-house, but more than a little run-down. A few windows were cracked, the ranches and leaves had overgrown and blocked windows and doorways. But, it was clear the structure itself - the living tree - was healthy and alive.

I took off the harness to open the door., fumbling and excited.

"This place has seen better days, hasn't it, Paigey?" I nodded giggling, and flung open the doors. The interior wasn't much better. There were even some leaves scattered around the floor, on top of the cobwebs.

But I didn't care.

"*Squee* I love it!" I twirled around, dancing through the library. "It's like a lost treasure box, dad!" I went up the stairs and immediately began to grin at each cracked window or seatless chair in my new home.

---

Their light shines down at night, and it is during the day that the stars of Equestria do their sleeping.

Stars are like clouds of the Everfree forest: wild and alive. When Ponies began controlling the weather and nature, the stars resisted every spell to direct them, and every new technique of the Pegasus to move them. When night came about, they just came out on their own, and move how they will.

Most dance in a particular pattern, a slow dance as old as time. But some, called "wanderers" do not join in the dance. They are willful and rebel, they follow their own hearts.

Now, they've been waiting a thousand years to aid someone else to follow THEIR own heart. They look down upon Equestria, they look down to Ponyville, and they find...

Me.

---

Dad helped me get settled. He stayed overnight, and in the morning he was off with the cart to bring it back to Mule-Haul in Manehattan. We hugged and he said how proud he was for finding my place in the world.

I reviewed the card catalog, and the circulation records. I collected the stacks of Ponyville Express and began logging them in. Gotta do the grunt work if you're going to be in charge of a library!

The basement had a learning lab. I found a locked door down there I didn't have a key to, but didn't think much of it at the time.

If only I had…

It was my second day in Ponyville. I busied myself with unpacking and tidying the place up a bit. I was beginning to take inventory of the library, starting in the back, when I heard the front door open.

"Coming!" I put down the notepad and pencil, and cantered to the main room. "The official re-opening isn't until tomorrow morning, but... "

It was an earthy pony with an off-white coat and blue eyes. But, more striking was her dark blue curly mane with pink fucia hilights. Blushing slightly, she smiled and hid something behind her flank.

"Hello. I'm Paige, the new librarian. How may I help you, miss ... ?" We were both getting nervous.

"Sweetie Drops." She said, gaining more confidence. "And, ah... N-no need. I... um... I'd checked... I'd like to keep looking around if I may." She smiled more confidently. I prefer to err on the side of gullibility when accepting ponies at their word. It tended to make them look foolish when the truth comes out, which it invariably does.

"Very well, then." Perhaps some casual conversation would pry out the truth. "Say - I noticed your Pinkie Pie was a little high-strung. Is she all right?"

"Pinkie?" Sweetie shook her head. "That's … just Pinkie being Pinkie."

"See now, that's the second time I've heard somepony say that, and it's just as full of sadness and despair as the first time. I mean, she LOOKS like Pinkie, but surely you could get a more cheerful pony to play her part."

Sweetie was still nervous about whatever it was she was hiding behind her flank, but forced herself to open up a little bit. "Oh, 'town greeter' is the last job in a long list for THAT one. I don't want to spread gossip, but that pony has some serious issues! Seriously screwed up. I mean, she seems to really enjoy throwing parties and having fun? But the SECOND she thinks you're laughing at HER? Instead of WITH her? She totally freaks out! Seriously!"

I shook my mane. Was this… an act? As part of my introduction to Ponyville, the town puts on a play just for me? A "lesson" in friendship from the whole town?

Smiling, I nodded at the act she was putting on for my benefit. That was it. It had to be. I even recognized Sweetie as one of the ponies from the backgrounds of the art in the books. "Oh, that's so nice!" I said, mentally referring to both her acting and the upcoming game.

Sweetie looked at me as if I'd just grown another hoof from my neck. "What?"

"Oh, this is going to be so much fun!" I clapped her hooves and beamed. "So, I guess I have to find out WHY Pinkie's so depressed or whatever. Right!"

"I didn't say… you know, it's probably not nice to be meddling in other ponies' business. Especially if it's Pinkie…"
I ignored her and rushed to see where this My Little Pony library stored its My Little Pony books. "I have to research this - see if there's another time when Pinkie was so freaked out.."

I heard some shuffling in the distance while my back was turned.

When I got back, I said, "That's weird. I couldn't find the My Little Pony section of this library." But Miss Drops was gone, the front door open.

And my itch was back.

I looked around. Everything LOOKED unchanged. I closed the door. What did she do while I was gone? Was it part of the play?

Lost in thought and examining the scene, I saw some dirt and traced the trail from the front door to a shelf.

There was something about this mare, my first "patron" as a head Librarian. Did she pick up a book, then get nervous at her appearance and put it back? What was it? My skull itched worse than before, but suddenly I SCRATCHED it.

"Sweetie Drops! Bon Bon! But…" I looked at the door. "Was she, like Pinkie Pie, in character? Or going TO someplace to BE in character? So weird…"

But... the shelf. It was undisturbed as far as I could tell. I was about to get back to inventory when I saw some books on one row were tilted in the wrong direction. Was Sweetie bringing back a book that was overdue? Which one was it?

I pulled out each book and made note of the covers and check-out slips inside. None of them had "Sweetie Drops" as the last check-out.

"Crackers." I was about to put them back, but decided at the last moment to put it off.

If I had put the books back, I would have noticed the secret panel in the back of the shelf with a horseshoe on it.

---

I'd attended a party once where they hosted a murder mystery game. Someone was the murderer, everyone had cards telling them who they were, and it was a game to try to find out whodunit. I was worried that this "game" was lacking something similar. I guessed that the other ponies, all playing their part, would nudge me to the right solution. I hoped I would pick up on it!

But that itch in the back of my head wouldn't go away. Part of me could see that this wasn't really a game - that these really were the ponies from my books. But I couldn't accept that. Sure, I live in a world of magic and mystery, but I'd never heard of fictional characters coming to life and walking around! It HAD to be a play, I decided.

Despite the itch.

I got myself gussied up as best I could, brushing my mane and tail and coat, gargling minty mouthwash, and put the lightest hint of lavender rub on my shoulders. I shook out my scarf and headed to the party. Ready to help Pinkie find the joys of laughter - no matter WHAT the source.

Soon I was pushing open the doors of Ponyville Town Hall.

It was just what I'd expect from a Pinkie Party - streamers, cakes, pies, punch, games, music… and it all looked just like loads of fun! There was only one thing missing…

Ponies.

"Hello?" I checked my invitation, then went outside and checked the clock tower in the distance. "Yup. Right time and everything." Turning back inside, I suddenly came nose-to-nose with Pinkie Pie.

"Eeep!"

Pinkie was grinning, but I could tell it was forced. "Ha ha!" She said, with some effort to pull her tone out of deadpan into cheeriness. Some effort. Not enough. "Weeelcome to Ponyville! It's a meet and greet with ALL the ponies here in town. All… " She looked around the room, then back to Paige. "All of 'em. Right. Welcome! Let me be the first to say… welcome to Ponyville! We hope you'll enjoy your stay!" The smile plastered on her face stayed there, but it took some effort.

Ignoring Pinkie for now, I just walked in further, glancing around. "Where is everypony?" Was that the "appropriate" question for the game? Somewhere behind all the chairs and doors were probably a crowd of ponies ready to burst through and party down once I 'fixed' Pinkie.

"They, um. They're probably just a little late! Yeah, that's it!"

"Sure they are."

"There's probably a big bake sale at Sugarcube Corner!"

"Mm hmm…" My gaze was cool and patient.

"Oh, I can't keep this up!" Her mane flattened, and out came Pinkimenia. Whoops! "You might as well get on with it and fire me."

"Pinkie…"

"That's what this is all about. You let me go through all this work - ALL of you! - to make this party, and nopony came and - and - and -" Poor pinkie just fell apart and began sobbing angrily. "And this was my LAST JOB I could POSSIBLY DO in town! I'm going to have to MOVE! WAAAH!!!" Out came the fountains of tears.

Stifling a chuckle, I trotted over to Pinkie and put a foreleg around her shoulders.

"You're not going to get fired, Pinkie."

Sniffling and struggling to understand, she looked up. "I'm not?"

"No, you're not." I helped her stand. "Now, what's the problem? Why are you going to get fired? Who is firing you?"

"You are." Pinkie said hopelessly.

"Me?"

Nodding, "Mayor Mare said this party would be the final test. If this didn’t go well…" Pinkie looked around the empty room, and started tearing up again. "Oh, it's impossible!"

"No, it's not! We just gotta… " Waving my hoof in the air, I tried to find the words. I looked around, hoping there was a party game moderator listening and ready to help out. "Line?" I called out.

"We gotta MAKE them come to the party!" Pinkie said savagely.

"Well… that could be a start… But how do we do that?"

Tapping a hoof to her chin, Pinkie was starting to look more positive, her hair bouncier. "We… " A sudden realization hit her, and her mane fell flat again. "We tell them *I'm* not going to be there."

"Come on, Pinkie. It can't be that bad!"

"Oh, but it is! It's terrible, just terrible! I love making people laugh, but… I can't STAND it when they laugh at ME!" She began growling. "It just makes me wanna --- " She smacks her hooves together CRACK!

I thought for a bit before speaking. "Anger is an emotion born out of fear and self-doubt. Fear of laughter is fear that you're doing something stupid, something that SHOULD be mocked and thrown away. Discarded. Shunned."

Pinkie only nodded.

"The key to overcoming any type of fear is knowledge. Knowledge of WHY somepony does what they do. Once you have that, you CAN'T be mad at them. You know why they're doing what they're doing."

"So why is everyone laughing at ME?" Pinkie said mournfully.

"That's the thing, Pinkie. They're not."

"They're NOT?"

"No. They're laughing at something else. They're laughing at the shadow you're casting on the ground. The silly shadow of you that dances in a way you never expected. That's what they're laughing at, not you."

"But… it hurts so much! And they have to PAY!" Tears streamed down her face.

"For what? Thinking of a joke they made up while looking at you?"

"A joke about ME."

"No, a joke about your shadow. They can NEVER touch the real Pinkie. They don't KNOW who you really are. If they did, they might be able to judge you, but nopony ever will know you as well as you know yourself."

There was a pregnant pause as Pinkie digested this. Finally, she smiled. "Ya coulda fooled me."

"I read a lot. I'm the Ponyville Librarian."

Pinkie giggled, but then bowed her head. "But if we want this party to really work… we really ARE going to have to tell everyone I'm not going to be here. I've been shouting at ponies for months and months, bouncing from job to job to job. Town Greeter was the last job left for me. Nopony likes me. I've made them all afraid of me."

"Very well. Let's do it, and then we'll SHOW them you've changed!"

---

We fanned out and spread the rumor that Pinkie had left the party, leaving all the cakes and goodies behind for anypony to come and eat. Over and over we heard "A Pinkie Pie Party without Pinkie? Oh, I'm THERE!" I remember nodding, thinking "It really IS her special talent, making people laugh and have fun …"

I complimented a pony or two on their incredibly skilled acting, but every pony I met seemed genuinely afraid of Pinkie, and genuinely happy at the idea she wouldn't be there. The itch started at the back of my skull again and spread as the night wore on.

Eventually we managed to get everypony there at the town hall. That's when we went inside and locked the doors.

No one could escape now, for good or bad...

---

The party was in full swing, sans-Pinkie. The DJ was nodding to the beasts. The punch was flowing. The apples were being bobbed. The tails were being pinned on the pony. Pinkie was so good, she could make a party run itself.

That is, until SHE showed up. The moment a pony spotted her, he or she would clam up in fear.

But the speed of realization had nothing on Pinkie. Smiling and happy, laughing and bouncing, Pinkie burst into the room, and started chatting ponies up. Scared, bewildered, stunned ponies. Before the apprehension could spread to others and begin a wave of escape, there was Pinkie being ... the REAL Pinkie.

She was good. People laughed, and had a good time. I was starting to think this was going to work.

At some point, I caught myself. I ... I was completely immersed. I was completely convinced this was real. I smiled harder, because it was all so real. Why not live the fantasy for a little while?

Then I saw Snips and Snails in the rafters. They were struggling with something up there, right above the place where Pinkie was giving out prizes for ponies who bobbed the most apples. Silly kids. "Hey! Get down from there! Somepony's gonna get hurt!" But the party was going full swing, and my shouts were lost in the roar. I was about to try to get Derpy to go up there and wrangle them, when I realized what the two colts were about to do. They were really going to pour something on Pinkie.

It was like a train wreck, and I, rooted to the spot in horror, couldn't look away as the bucket tipped over at the two colts' triumphant pushing.

The red liquid cascaded through the air, catching the light as everyone was cheering for the latest winner. All eyes were on the silly blue colt and Pinkie when the stuff hit her.

Like a joybuzzer to her spine, the cold watery crimson hit the party pony, drenching her mane and fur, splattering everywhere and utterly stunning poor Pinkie.

The whole room took in a breath as the moment stretched on: Pinkie standing stock still, rigid before the entire population of Ponyville.

It began as an incredulous "huh!" But it was soon joined by more and more laughs until the whole crowd (including me) were laughing. Maybe it was the idea of safety in numbers. Maybe it was a relief to finally see the terrifying Pinkie taken down a notch. For me, it was the mad hope I held, teetering between fantasy and reality.

I knew the story should have a happy ending. But the itch in the back of my skull was raging in full force. None of this really seemed like a play. There were too many things - little things like the other ponies' reactions and the sincerity of Pinkie's desperation. Either this was real, or everypony here was an incredible actor. But if this really really really WAS real, Pinkie was (as dad would say:) "one psycho pony about to go apescat."

The next moment was all Pinkie. In that moment as I watched her reaction, there was a spark of rage flash across pinkie's eyes, and I suddenly pictured a slaughter straight from a horror novel.

Pinkie, the strange pony who could "predict" when things were about to fall out of the sky. Predict? Or MAKE HAPPEN? The roof could buckle, crack, and come crashing down at any moment on the twitcha twitch of Pinkie's tail. The screams of laughter could so easily change to horror and pain. Nowhere to run, the doors locked, the chaos, the terror...

I felt the whole world turn, pivoting on Pinkie for good or bad, and wished with all my might for Pinkie to be good.

When time resumed, I saw her lick her lips.

Even through the din of the laughs, everypony could hear Pinkie's screech… of delight. "MMM! Raspberry!" She licked her whole face and giggled with the rest of the ponies.

I let out a deeply held breath, and realized I'd stopped laughing while my mind wandered into horror film territory.

The fact it turned out so well was almost a confirmation this was all a play. It wasn't real, it was a play. How else could everything be tied up so well? How else could Pinkie be her bubbly awesome funny self after being such a monster? Me? No.

But the itch at the back of my skull kept me questioning and wondering…

---

In a basement, behind a locked door, a pony angrily paced. His coat was off-white and yellowed like old parchment. In place of a pony head was a rather angry-looking book whose pages rippled like a breeze was trying to turn them as growling sounds came from the strange beast.

"Space! (Where is that incompetent fool?)"

"Here I am, Book! I was cleaning up the… erm… thing."

Book turned toward the sound as a brown stallion with a cracked hourglass came forward from behind mountains of scientific equipment. "I need someone to rant at, Space."

"I'm here for you, sir!"

"The Pinkie Pie chapter has been REWRITTEN."

Stark fear stunned Space. "It - it wasn't me! I didn't go anywhere NEAR the machine!"

"It's not YOU, fool! It's your cousin! This … Paige Turner. What's her talent again?"

"Speed reading, sir!"

Book angrily turned away and paced some more, letting Space sit there and sweat. "Speed reading… no. No, it COULDN'T be!" Book whirled on Space, his pages akimbo and flapping. "I've been a FOOL! I thought your cousin was the perfect patsy for my plans, but it's all so CLEAR to me now!"

"What? What's wrong, sir?"

Book ground his covers together in a snarl of hate. "A speed reader! It's so obvious, now. She's reading AHEAD."
Space gulped and lifted a hoof. "You - you mean-"

Book pulled himself to his full height and glowered at Space. "She's been using…"

"SPOILERS!"

Author's Note:

Some major rewriting, adding the stars as is appropriate and their interest in Paige.

Comments

[Timelord47]

Is...this a non Mary Sue Self Insert?

YES! FINALLY!

[Blaze Song]

Paige Turner.. And reading ahead? in a story/time manipulation device, really? ehh... I'll give that to you... buuuuut... I was also hopping for a certain meddling Time Lord.. too :)

[Walabio]

The malevolent stars are malevolent.