A Nice little intro to the fic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GYTgTk-ZQZ8
Revan makes the decision to save himself using Fold Space, a force ability which allows the user to teleport an object from one place to another. This is the story of the end of his life.
This will also be a 3rd person story limited POV, since imo they are the easiest to write. It will focus entirely around Revan and his conversations with ponies, and maybe spike.
Feel free to give criticism, for this is my first story...well ever. Also if you want to make a better story out of this yourself, you have my go ahead to do so! :D But seriously, tell me where I go wrong and I will try my hardest to make it better for you, the reader.
Oh image URL if ya want it http://www.deviantart.com/download/101368907/DARTH_REVAN_by_Unclesatan.png
Also here is some information about Revan http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVQe58FjMqQ
Admiral Hackett narrating these things is just awesome.
Hmm...KOtoR crossover?
Interesting...
Okay...somewhat confusing.
Is this placed after Revan's capture by Bastila? Or before? Cause I need to tell you...It's a bit out of whack.
(Yes, I'm a game accuracy nazi.
)
My Master Lives!
All hail the true Dark Lord! Darth Revan!
Sooooo going to read this
287039 It's placed after Revan's defeat by the Empire in The Old Republic, the Mmo
I'll proofread it and do a little editing if you like, I'll just shoot you a proofread version of these two chapters anyway, it shows some promise.
287070 Thanks man, I like the way you edited it. I will send chapters by you for proofing before publishing, that is if you don't mind.
I'm glad you guys like it! I'll try and get more out by the end of this week.
YES YES YES YES SWEET FUCKING FUCK YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS FUCK YES!!!!!!!!!!111111!!one!!!!1!1!!!!!eleven!!!!
287755
Intredasting, I shall watch this fix progress.
Errrr, Fic even.
tracked.
Yay! Update!
why'd you have to use the mmo version....that's mainstream and nooby as fuck, Needed to be KotOR 1
292834
I'm raging like a fanboy
293592 ah. that makes sense
...Darth Revan? In Equestria?
PLEASE SIR, HAVE ALL MY FAVORITES AND LIKES!
ALL PRAISE THEE, GREAT AUTHOR!
...So he doesn't become a pony?
cache.ohinternet.com/images/e/e6/Okay_guy.jpg
That's all right, I mean, how else would he operate a lightsaber, right?
...Not much progress has been made. I admit, the story is taking it's sweet time getting to them poniez.
Also, a minor issue I have is that the chapters feel... small. They've been growing since the prologue, sure, but would it be too much to ask for 2000+ word chapters? Even if they take a day or two more to write, I don't care.
A quick question, Revan has always been considered "The heart of the force" (By his teachers, anyway), an amazing prodigy and one of the greatest force-users of all time. Now, would he be above or slightly below the Princesses in terms of, well, power?
I understand if this is some future plot point, but I was just curious.
Anyway, looking forward to the next chapter. Keep up the great work, you awesome writer, you!
296383 Lol im trying my best to get the chapters to be larger. Trust me, there will be poniez in a chapter that is quite close to this one. Quite close. Though, since Mass Effect 3 came out today I am probably going to slow down in progress. At least for a little while. I have a chapter already complete, and I will be adding it along with the chapter after it. So if I get a burst of creativity tomorrow, that is when they will be out :D
Regarding the power difference between the Princesses and Revan, well.. you'll just have to stick around and find out!
*shudders* Darth Revan...AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!
296587
stickerish.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/AreYouKiddingMeBlackSS.png
...Nah, I kid.
...I still think he should've become a pony, though. *Grumble grumble*
The story isn't bad, but there's a big problem: I don't feel at all like I'm reading a story about a Jedi from the Star Wars galaxy who has lived for decades and seen a great many things in his quests from one end of the galaxy to the other. I feel like I'm reading a story about a generic human with superpowers from Earth. Force should be capitalized, as should the names of the powers; Reven should not have to worry about fixing his injuries because all Jedi can put themselves into a healing trance, or consciously fix themselves if they have the training; Reven should not have to worry about people watching him because being able to accurately sense life forms is a basic power that all Force users have, and Reven himself is an exceptionally powerful Jedi; and the presupposition of there being no creatures like Fluttershy or Rainbow Dash is incredibly odd considering that the SW galaxy contains species like the slith, Brrbrlpp, and amphi-hydrus.
298882 Thanks for the feedback, like I said this is my first try at anything like this so don't expect a full proof story lol. I also noticed the injury thing after I had written it and have not gotten back to changing it sadly.
First drawn out dialogue, tell me what you thought about it. I am willing to receive much feedback on this since I know I need to make it better.
Just seeing the name Revan here made my day. I loved the storyline of KotOR, and that is by far my favorite Star Wars game I have yet played. I have nothing but praise for you at the moment.
“Alright then I will see you at twelve then.”
I think it could look much better, cleaner as...
"Alright then. I'll see you at twelve."
Also, paragraphs with more than one person/pony/whatever talking gets a tad... blocky. Try separating them.
Another thing, use "It's", "I'll", etc. Makes conversations more realistic/shorter. All in all, this could simply use a good editor or a proof-reader.
"The pegasus just completely awestruck by all of this."
i2.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/005/545/OpoQQ.jpg
299865 Lol nice pic, I'll get to editing sometime tonight. ME3 comes first though :D Thanks for the assistance!
KOTOR 1 > MMO KOTOR
Make him evil again.
And make him never take his mask off.
That's how the actual revan is. And revan speaks with his mind, remember?
303364 Lol how could I forget the speaking with his mind part. Terribly sorry about that, but he needs to limber his lips every now and then else he can't eat. Sad I know.
313568
I guess.
And I'm still wondering if he's evil or not. If he's evil, he has one red lightsaber and if he's good he has whatever
313636 Well yes, he has a red and purple light saber. As to if he is evil or not, I tend to go towards the Revan that is more neutral than good or evil since those words are vague. Also light saber color doesn't mean darkside or lightside, it's just the power of the crystal, red being one of the stronger ones.
313748
Yeah yeah, but red is still what all the sith use, so I automatically assume evil.
Fuck you Revan...I will never forgot how you destroyed my self esteem when I tried to beat you the first time...I hate you...MOAR!!!!!!!!!
Sorry about the wait, I had things to do. Enjoy!
I wonder how he'll react when he meets Pinkie, the CMC, and the Princesses.
Yay, an update!
Good to see Revan opening up to the locals.
Rararararararararararararararararararar>>337838rarararararararararararararararararararararararar!
MOAR UPDATES! Really good plot, but honestly though MOAR!
The First
339107 Don't you worry your little head. The next chapter is close to being complete, maybe.
Hey, I should probably read this again
344946 lol
New chapter yay! Hope you guys like it.
At the end it says life out the rest of my life it is supposed to be live
Cool. Glad to see Revan getting used to life in Equestria.
Looking forward to the next chapter!
360980*Expects spike to fool around with his light sabers*