I Felt, Therefore I Was

by Cynical

6. Going Strong

The Journal of Twilight Sparkle – 14th November 1007

Here we are, a month since I started this project. This seemed to me like an excellent time to sum up my current progress, my own observations and my feelings about the project.

Since I started the project, giving myself three months to find out about the problem of feelings, to find a spell to fix the problem of feelings and to refine and test this spell which will fix the problem of feelings, I have managed to complete the first stage in which I have developed an analysis on the conditions that feelings induce in us, what causes them and what they cause in turn. The notes of which have been stored in my own personal archives along with a few copies.

The second stage has proved to be slightly more difficult than I previously imagined. There have been numerous distractions that I have had to put up with in order to keep my research protected along with my own personal wellbeing and that of my friend’s. I must emphasise in these notes just how important it is that this research is kept out of the public eye until it is finished and refined.

In the wrong hooves, this research could prove to be an incredible asset to those who wished to do harm with it. The spell’s status is still unfinished, yet the parameters are well defined and the methods are almost complete. It is proving somewhat harder than I initially thought to provide stimulation to the correct receptors that the spell is meant to trigger. The fragility of the brain is proving to be a limiting factor in this spell as an overload to any single receptor could prove to be fatal to those involved, both the castee, due to the direct effects of the spell, and the caster, due to the feedback that would be induced in the spell.

I foresee that this should only hold me back for another few days or so though, however I am in no rush to complete the spell; I am offering myself as the subject for testing it after all. I have already provided myself with a testing plan which I shall follow in due course. I shall start off with ‘happy’ which only requires five-hundred and seven receptors to be triggered, chosen due to its relatively low number compared to infatuation which requires six-thousand and fifty-two receptors to be triggered simultaneously.

My intention for this spell is that it be used for personal use and the control a pony’s own emotions and feelings. Such a development would be a breakthrough in mental magic, not even comparable to the advances that the mind-walking spell (invented by Clear Minded) brought. I would like to find a way to bring the effects of the spell to the other races which cannot use magic, yet such a development would require for the spell to be cast on others.

My own feelings about the spell are mixed at this late stage. I may be the one to invent it, yet I doubt that I will use it due to the falsity of the emotions that it will bring. The pony that casts the spell may be able to feel these emotions, yet they will not be true. This pony will be lying to themselves as they cast it in order to mask their true emotions with fake ones. I do not doubt that it will be useful in a number of applications, such as inciting the feeling of calm level-headedness just before an operation or an exam, yet I do not foresee myself indulging in the spell very often, if at all.

Nevertheless, I shall continue the entries in here once I am in possession of the completed theoretical spell and ready to continue in the testing process.

For the greater good,
Twilight Sparkle.