Angel Bunny was a simple rabbit. He had simple hopes and dreams: rule the world. He had a simple modus operandi: boss Fluttershy around. He had simple needs: exquisite pampering and only the finest of salads and carrots. Yes, his life was a simple one. Until today.
Today, he stood on the front steps of Canterlot Castle, shaking in his little rabbit boots. Angel Bunny was rarely scared. Right now he was completely terrified. He swallowed his fears though, and turned around and whacked the massive door several times with a rear leg.
"thock thock thock." Though meager, the sound echoed through the normally bustling castle, now seemingly empty. He heard nothing in return. Maybe no one was home. That was probably it. He wouldn't have to complete the mission after all! Relieved, he turned to hop away.
''BOOM!'', a dull thump resounded through the air. Angel winced and turned back around. Another boom, then another, then another. They were getting louder.
''BOOM!'', yes whoever, or whatever it was, it was getting closer.
"BOOM!" Angel had been dubious of the plan from the beginning, and his self doubt was only getting stronger as the thumping did.
''BOOM!'' The ground rumbled with each stomp, and dust fell from the ancient walls of the building in front of him.
''BOOM'' Goddess, just how huge was this thing? The thunder finally stopped, and the palace door creaked open. Oh. That big. Well, time to visit the great warren in the sky. His teeth chattering, the rabbit held up a small bouquet of daffodils.
Tirek lounged on his new throne, twirling a now-unused tiara around his fingers. He hoped his date arrived soon. Equestrians were actually pretty boring to rule when they had all their magic sucked out of them. A bat pony flew up to him.
"Your mimosa, sir,;; he politely intoned.
"Ah, thank you, slave," Tirek replied, snatching another of the alcoholic beverages he had been so many millennia without. "I hope you're as good a match maker as you are a servant."
Before Super could respond, there was a distant rapid knocking sound. "Ah ha ha," Tirek deeply chuckled, "It appears we shall find out soon. Pray that you are. I'd hate to have to hoof off another broken plaything to Discord."
Tirek rose, towering even in the vast thrown room. He trotted toward the front of the palace, leaving cracks in the floor behind with his massive hooves.
He reached the front in due time, and opened the door. Tirek saw nothing there. Then he looked down. Way down. There was a little fluffy thing clinging to some flowers. That was his date? Well, Super had assured the centaur that he was the best in the business. Tirek smiled. "Hello, Angel Bunny. I've been expecting you."
Stuff I found already there when I came to write the chapter that I'm not using:
Look," Twilight snapped, "if Tirek takes over the world because you were being a little bitch, so help me Cadance, I will geld you in your sleep. capiche?
"Geez, Twi, what's up with your fixation on my genitalia?" the bat pony snarked.
"SUPER!"
"Right, right. Set Tirek up on a date to buy you time. I can do this."
Okay okay. Set Tirek up on a date. I can do this.
Are you calling me gay?
Well, what's wrong with her?
"It's a him."
No! I'm saying this much stalliony goodness shouldn't be confined to just half the population.
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Twilight sparkle masterbates with a knife.
5285539
5285542 I hate Twilight Sparkle and i'm in a bad mood.
5285543 I'm sorry you're having a bad day. Anything I can do to make it better?
5285545 Figure out the adress of this whore and send a hitman to kill him.
Writer who writes a twenty-part mary sue series and then whores himself out, begging for followers in pms on anyone who comments on it.
5285545 apologies, needed to vent.
5285552 And you're going to let that get to you? If he's not harassing you directly, just ignore him and his stories. if he is harrassing you, report it to the moderators. You can find a list of them HERE. Any ponies you are particularly fond of I can find some happy pictures of for you?
5285560 no... no, that's fine. He's not harassing me, i just really don't like his stories. I'm a whiny cunt, you see.
*very relevant comment pertaining to the extreme length of the chapter title and story itself, with obligatory obscure reference and vague details*
5285601 Oh wow that was witty!
5285604
*comment of more wit value that lends a condescending tone against the author's masculinity and seems to be cordially insulting*
5285902 *Pithy reply using British l33t-style saying *
5286104
*patronizing tone indicating lower mental status of current recipient*
5287006 *Retort Needlessly bringing your mother into the conversation.*
5288497
*calm comeback hiding cutting clash of emotions inside, referring to the general hygiene and health levels of your bloodline*
5330651 Pepperidge Farms remembers. i.ytimg.com/vi/gXUxLqqmhNs/hqdefault.jpg
I came here to make the most ridiculous request imaginable, but it seems I've been beaten to the punch by several dozen chapters.
Instead, how about shipping together MLP Generation 2 & MLP:FIM?
5350244
5350244
Gen 2? the generation without an accompanying show?
5350572 Precisely.
I don't think it beats the inspired Crackle/Photo Finish or Queen Chrysalis/Tom pairings, but it's insane enough that it can proudly stand as one of the most ridiculously implausible ships MLP could produce.
I've got a pairing:
Cheese Sandwich X Tirek
5612541 Oh wow, nice find.
5625026 it's called shipping sickness. I'm afraid it's terminal.
(by the way, shipping sickness, by Skywriter, is an excellent store you should read.)
I got a good idea.
Spitfire and Rarity. Because who doesn't love roasted marshmallows over an open fire?
5861716 I got a good idea.
How about i freaking start writing again and update this blasted thing.
5862027
It's been months. That's for sure
Don't forget my entry as well.
5862504 the guilt weighs on me every day.
Mind you, it's pony fanfiction, so it's not exactly stiffing. It's just most my creative efforts have been going into the SoCal Ponytones Brony choir I run as of late.
5862817
a choir?
5862935 You should become an honorary member of the SoCal Ponytones!
Find us on:
Official Site: sites.google.com/site/socalponytones
Bandcamp: socalponytones.bandcamp.com
YouTube: www.youtube.com/channel/UCBNW7_fS_zf8A1vRuXyiCog
SoundCloud: soundcloud.com/socal-ponytones
Facebook: www.facebook.com/pages/SoCal-Ponytones/1466605140278193
Email: ponytones@gmail.com
5862960
Oh uh, well why?
5862969 img.pokemondb.net/artwork/wynaut.jpg
5862996
Cause I don't really do singing that much?
5863015 no worries, we'z cool, brah.
5863056
kay
5289953 Much delayed comeback invoking Godwin's law